Best Scurvy Poems
Yer briny whore
akin to boar
wit' mangy hide 'n scurvy-pocked
chomped 'n chewed
me black 'n blue
wit' carnassial chompers as of croc
Be curs'd, yer nit
me ample bits
equated ter yer own be nowt
yerz be carnivorous
scaly 'n scabrous
yer plaque be axed ter beef up grout
Uncomely wench
yer skunky stench
blunted me hook 'n scorched me beard
me peepers stung
me hornpipe hung
shorn ter th' bone 'n shrivelled 'n seared
Comely 'n curvy
riddled wit' scurvy
th' cap'n's whore-maid tooken yer whole
yer rat o' th' sea
holed and *****
yer fired yer cannon in a rottin' port'ole
Blow me down, lover!! I love it when we talk dirty.
(Hahahaha. I see the Soup powers-that-be deleted my word. I swear it's not used as a swearword. The word rhymes with "hussy". lol)
Categories:
scurvy, funny,
Form:
Rhyme
Rancid lemon rope squeeze
around a rotten tomato neck tie,
crooked odor bow hanging out of place
Acid reflux raisin tax bleed;
dripping spoiled, milquetoast lies
out a sour-twisted, prune puckered face
Tart tongue
sulfur speak disorderly,
dirty saliva fingers in the propaganda pie
Such a bowel movement disgrace
Bottom rung
bung opening vault key
Onion groans ... chittering fermented cry
Boot-licking patent leather taste
Smells like government to me,
corrupt as can be
Dung pile of voter promises,
sits atop a pungent idol landfill heap,
swarming with stinking lip flies
Smells just like reeking government gluttony —
O beast behavior ...
swine odor, foul as can be
Swindle spit vapors perfidiously wafting,
kindle the vomit pit
Sewage waste material ash labors fanning,
can you stand the stench of it?
Smells like dead paper figurehead
government to me
Bait-and-switch fishy business ...
close your eyes,
what does your nose see?
Tainted meat polltry speech,
pluck the purse feathers
off the cable perched pigeon bodies
Smells like government
is about to make a putrid, baked-in story
Made up facts ... maggot video feed
Stale, bureaucratic policy hard rolls
warmed over twice
Buttered late with expired date lies
Served with a cloying cup
of steaming sound-byte coffee:
Substitute truth ... false sugary
Toilet swirl coffin cake,
gutter floss the oral cavity
Bad breath vows made,
garbage hope nobody needs
Government smells
like a morgue dog in heat
Very omit cadaver, obit disgusting
Smells like
a pot of burning bones
on a boil
Bottom lip scum
rising to the top
On a truthful breath: Let me tell you,
it stinks an awful lot
Smells like scurvy government to me,
corrupt as base bribery can be
The lobbyist rats are scarfing down
the moldy green government cheese,
so silver spoon tongue greedily
Nothing like some regurgitated split-pea pleas
to hit the decaying belly ballot gastric spot
Can you make a federal case
of this rank-and-foul flatulent republic rot?
Categories:
scurvy, corruption, satire, truth, word
Form:
Burlesque
*Comely n’ curvy
*Riddled wit’ scurvy
Good lord my oh me
She surly do be:
bawdy and bold
prancing and preening
shameful and shameless
spicy and spiteful
willful and witty
jaded and jammin’
funky and funny
Bitter with sweet
Sweet with sour
Knock me to my knees
Have mercy on me
the woman got know
the woman got show
the woman got soul…
For Delysia Hendricks
Categories:
scurvy, friend, funny,
Form:
Light Verse
Bananas
Here come the sailors of the Seventh Fleet
With their bananas ripe, ready to eat
The ladies, they like them firm
Musty one’s make them squirm
Why can’t liberty always be so sweet!
Limes
They’re green and round not yellow and curvy
Bruised or mushed never—topsy turvy!
Peeled back skin often slimy
Best citrus fresh and limey
Sailor lime-juicer’s sucked to cure scurvy
Categories:
scurvy, fruit, funny,
Form:
Limerick
I"m getting rather faint again
I don"t feel well at all.
My back has gone,my legs both ache
must sit in case i fall
Scurvy,swine flu,measles mumps.
I must have had the lot
I even broke out in a sweat
whilst i was in my cot
The doctor calls,he doesnt care,
Just looks at me and smiles.
I grimace back in pain,not joy.
I"ve just sat on my piles
The end is nigh,and thats a fact.
Of this i can be sure.
My epitaph will surely read..
They couldn"t find the cure
Categories:
scurvy, funny
Form:
How have you been, it's ok to tella
Explorer of the sea, like me can't you see
That Brooks and Paris need some money
Please support our trip to the far east
On the search for gold, spices, and peace
Make an alliance, no more will be deceased
And then with all your glory, power will be released
Now of course you know, I'm a man of navigation
We'll be chasin a new Spaniard nation
No hesitation just regulation
Make a fresh start on a new foundation
No more waitin, this is your chance
Travel be sea and not by land
I promise you we will do the best that we can
And once we succeed I hope you understand
That you will be the most famous queen of all time
Please Miss Isabella, I do not have a dime
Instead of a letter, I'm sending you a rhyme
It sounds a bit better, and rappin's not a crime
But enough about that, let me tell you this
If my directions are right then we will sure not miss
If no corrections are made then I can surely list
A whole scroll full of demands cause we'll be so rich
And I'm not just sayin that trying to be modest
I'm telling you the truth, I'm being totally honest
Nobody else can navigate even as well as I can aim
And once we reach and claim
We'll put your name to fame
Our route is better planned and leadership's a must
In my eyes, we're the only two that you can trust
Let me explain in detail exactly what we need
A whole bunch of sea men and a couple ships indeed
We need a lot of food, and of course some vitamin C
Just to make sure the men don't get scurvy
We need some beer and wine, some utensils to dine
A whole lot of rifles for men on the front line
Acceptable weapons win the battle every time
And I need a lot girls, bout 39 would be just fine
Now my time is almost up, you just need to know my route
We're gonna sail round Africa and take the passage south
And then we'll sail around and finally reach the Asians
That is when we'll start the new Spaniard nation
Categories:
scurvy, adventure, columbus day, high
Form:
Rhyme
SUNG TO THE TUNE OF "LONDON BRIDGE IS FALLING DOWN"
Wobbly-boot ter rubbity-dub
nary me ol' hide did scrub
showin' crack
'n grinder plaque
th' pirate's shorin'
Hail th' buccaneerin' frog
tip th' keg 'n swill me grog
a blunt o' pot,
a wench's bot
fer all-night whorin'
Th' briny whore, th' scurvy wench
wit' bloomers off 'n stinky stench
fer ha'penny's worth
did warm me berth
'n rolled off snorin'
Hail th' buccaneerin' frog
tip th' keg 'n swill me grog
a blunt o' pot,
a wench's bot
fer all-night whorin'
Up th' hips 'n spread th' knees
tig ol' bitties pump 'n squeeze
roll th' rump
hump-hump-hump-hump
a-rippin' 'n roarin'
Hail th' buccaneerin' frog
tip th' keg 'n swill me grog
a blunt o' pot,
a wench's bot
fer all-night whorin'
Categories:
scurvy, funny, me, me,
Form:
Lyric
I'm a briny whore
wit' reekin' drawers
me honor ter make yer acquenchance
th' skipper's maid
me port's decayed
one doubloon, yer seafarin' urchin?
Yer scurvy rat
a-crawl wit' gnat
orf seadog scourged wit' rabid
yer cannon's immense
'tis cocked 'n tense
yer cutlass be yearnin' me scabbard
Yer stench o' sewer
me bits'll chew yer
bumps 'n boils 'n rottin' flesh
yer britches singe
yer helm unhinge
ter boot yer hornpipe thump 'n thresh
2013-11-20
Categories:
scurvy, funny,
Form:
Rhyme
The light in the night falls slowly upon weathered decks
We have placed the dead man on a plank and wrapped him in cheesecloth
The rain stops and starts
It doesn’t seem to care that he is dead
Captain Powder is the priest as the other died two years ago
He’s no priest but at sea he’ll have to do
We gather ‘round a scurvy crew and do our best to remember our prayers
Old One Eye Joe was not a favorite around here.
His one eye made it hard to work the ropes with him as he had no perception.
T’was always a bloody hard days to think about going up there with him
And of course time took it course and he missed roped.
To the deck he fell
A good 40 feet…not much to look at after that, but then again he never was.
So why do I tell you tale.
Well if your goings to do work then takes heed of your mates.
Because Mother Nature don’t always deal straight from the deck.
Categories:
scurvy, bereavement,
Form:
Narrative
I am officially naming today Rat Day! Yes I am! I mean why not? The groundhog gets all the attention, but what about the rats and the dogs? There is no special day commemorating the other animals. What about National Dinosaur Day or Polite Guinea Pig Day?
Rats need to be celebrated also because they have intuition like none other. Aren't they always the first to know if the ship is going down? They all scurvy to the top and even hang onto the mast for dear life alerting the others of their soon fate! What could be more important than that?
And allow us to consider the dog? Or what about the cat? These two domesticated animals bring so much delight as they often sit on our laps like the rest of the family. When is the last time you watched television and allowed a groundhog to sit upon your lap? I would venture to say, NEVER!
So in honor of all the other animals out there, I say let's cut them some slack! Let's honor the animals that are dear to our hearts, not one that goes back and hibernates for six more weeks!
Again, in closing, HAPPY RAT DAY TO ALL OF MY DEAR FRIENDS!
gwendolen rix
2-2-15
Categories:
scurvy, animal, appreciation, funny, giggle,
Form:
Prose
Born to the sea
Mind of water, flowing thoughts;
The currents beneath your words could change us all.
River heart, born to the sea;
The solace we seek waves to you and to me.
Join me on this voyage, over water, to a new land.
All hands on deck chairs are temporarily in the sand.
Cast ashore to repair our vessel,
But soon we shall cruise again, so hoist that sail.
Raise it so high, that the crow's nest will not be our peak
And the land dwellers will be the last people that we would wish to meet.
My crew and I are setting off on an adventure;
A journey across the deep blue, to a land of mischief and wonder.
The undiscovered land, on the other side of a new life.
We be pirates, so we be; so raise that Jolly Roger flag upon high.
Let all who see our symbol know the story of our ship.
The unsinkable voyager;
A blast from the past, blowing through the wind.
Raise the sails and let the wind take us in and move us on
And throughout the jagged edged cliffs and beyond!
And on past the mermaids that sit upon the rocks,
Singing such enchanting songs
And on past the things that they call ‘The Leviathan’.
Release the Kraken! The foulest beast from the Gods up above
And we shall continue this trek into the darkest of the rum.
To the bottom of the barrel, right down to the Admirals eye.
Let the birds be our guide to our next paradise.
Land ahoy! There be treasure there for sure;
So onward ya scurvy rats and be prepared to fight once more!
We are damned to forever sail,
Since the life at sea swallowed our cursed souls;
Now we travel these high seas in search of more silver and gold.
(C)2016 Aa Harvey. All Rights Reserved.
Categories:
scurvy, adventure, devotion, drink, people,
Form:
THE REVOLUTION IN ONLY 2 DIGITS
Home again.
Thomas, you were wrong to doubt it:
You Can Go Home Again and
Bask in the healing sun of Osiris
This isn’t home
This is recovery.
From the fevered scurvy of my own forgetfulness.
I eat limes for breakfast, lunch and dinner now;
My bowels move regularly now.
And I feel just like Thomas Payne
His bursting desire to model the ideal citizen
Not our uniforms, but our blood, sinew and muscle.
To present to the Crowning Glory and
To the Revolutionary Congress and
To the Revolutionary French Senate
Thomas and his Pain made the American struggle a personal fight:
The universal pull of the upright ape on the chains holding him down.
Chains forged by the forgetful hairless ones.
The ones we will overcome.
But we are not revolutionaries!
We are the Revolution.
We are what happens next.
The R/Evolution of our Selves: the inner/outer seeing through Alice’s mirror
Into mindful awareness
Into homage to our honored masters and their children:
The ever loving human race.
We have already won the revolution.
We have already won the revolution.
2 Shots were fired from far, far ago:
One from Lovelace’s boudoir,
Another from Giordano’s spinning wheels and the memory of his funeral pyre.
And from the bit of the apple Alan choked down,
We have already won the revolution.
We just need to take charge.
We have already won the revolution.
In only 2 digits.
Categories:
scurvy, howl, political, world,
Form:
Free verse
there are two many vitamins, out there yah!
Enriching supplements;
Some of them are even good for you and natural;
You need vitamin A E C D and U;
Vitamin
Vitamin
A-for the eyes and human body growth
E- for sight increase mortality
C-is an antioxidant and a fight against scurvy;
D- for the bones and dental health
now what could be left
Now there's a vitamin, a vital man;
I said
there's a vitamin, a vital man;
and we need help
for are spiritual being. . .
Not a supplement, but he's heaven sent;
good for the body
good for the soul
not made from unnatural things;
He's is the purest of all
You and I need
Yes, you and I need
what we need is the vital man
this vital man,, the vital man JESUS
for with Him you'll be blessed
inter/eternally;
I must confess I need more not less;
of His glory;
He's the only one you'll need;
all you need do is just kneel;
repent, be sincere, He'll give you the strength you need;
and we need help
for are spiritual being;
we need pureness and not, just a supplement
we need something/someone heaven sent;
not made from unnatural things
He's the purest of all, all things;
and I need more of Him;
vitamin Jesus
Vital man
vitamin Jesus
Vitamin J for Jesus trust and believe in us cause...
vitamin E He's my all and everything, Lord and savior redeemer of our souls;
Vitamin S No need, no need for anything, anything else no more supplements He keeps me well and I'm blessed;
Vitamin U because He wanted to pled before the Father jour God overall for everything
vitamin S He said all I have to do is received His blessedness;
repent and be sincere and He will be the cure;
He'll forgive your sins
Now there's a vitamin, a vital man;
whose more than just a mere man;
Not a supplement, but heaven sent;
good for the whole, body mind and soul;
You and I need vitamin J E S U S
for with Him you'll be cured and abundantly blessed;
he's the only medicine you need;
To help cure you from sin;
won't you just try Him;
Vital man
Vitamin J E S U S
written by James Edward Lee Sr.(C)2012
Sept 25 2012
from anthology "There's Praise in Song"
Categories:
scurvy, analogy, christian, confidence, health,
Form:
Ballad
Bin' snifflin' 'nent th' hour o' 12
'pon high deck by me scurvy self
me soulless hearties, dogs o' scum
on lower decks a-flappin' gums
Me keg be dry; I've downed me grog
me head's a-swirl wit' nowt but fog
me ticker's tight; I'm sans me glow
tho' stoked up fer me tit-eyed beau
Th' horizon's bleak; me warty toad
whose slimy self on me has growed
wit' bladed quill scribed clerihew
'n gabbered' wit' a tongue askew
Be cursed, yer nit off bearded buns
o' rottin' dead whale steeped in sun
this 'ere pirate yer beseech
creep whence yer hail, yer vermin leech
NOTE: ALL 'MISTAKES' ARE DELIBERATELY PLACED TO ACCOMMODATE PIRATE SPEAK.
For Nathan's contest. I found myself "at sea" when jilted, hence I opted for pirate lingo.
Categories:
scurvy, depression, lost love, pain,
Form:
Rhyme
‘Twas the Night before the day of Halloween’s Eve
The air was cold and the wind was mean
And on it traveled the fairest soliloquy
Betwixt Good and Evil as they strolled
The breeze brought me the story they told
Of sleep, dust, and shadows
Of teary lakes and headless plateaus
Of the blood brother of sleep
More restless yet deep
Around which broken dreams of split saplings rally
Thus marking his easy to find but hard to leave valley
Moreover mentioning the interloper
Some fine fellows, others right scurvy
An earthly animal, but Heaven worthy
Who at best is Good’s noblest paradigm
And at worst is Evil’s paragon in time
The infinite being in a finite creature
Dwelling in a bottomless cell without walls or ceiling
A void of finality with infinity features
Where the soul can gain or lose feeling.
The interloper possesses a body, heart, and mind
All can be broken, which you will find
The heart can meet the end of love’s stake
And bones of the body easily break
The mind can be destroyed by its own thought.
In the end we are but dust, shadows, and forgotten wrought.
And only as they go
Do I noticed Evil’s haunting ghost
Who walked with Good as the unknown foe
Who thrived in the dark of night
But did so best with a glimmer of light
He is boldest in the day
But while I lay
And as they stride
He has no light in which to hide
For a shadow only plays
While there is light in the day
And Evil is ever and again the master
But solely in the seeming absence of its caster
Categories:
scurvy, evil, halloween, imagery, psychological,
Form:
Ballad