Best Scare Off Poems

I saw them a few weeks ago. My wife called me, something urgent,
so I left the computer and went to see what excited her.

Three deer, 3 young deer meandering round our 1/4 acre backyard.
They look thin she said, I agreed
(not saying it was not a...

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If only I could be five once more
With all the knowledge en wisdoms from distant shores
Oh what a time I would have
At only five, I would be a devilish lad

I would file tax returns just for fun
Only because I have no income
I would say five...

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Summer spring bright colors, smells, flowers blooming welcome feast
Amongst these bees so irresistibly attracted to sugary nectar 
A thought occurs to me, to see these little buzzing specters 
What kind of journey , these perfect pollinators wander

Antennas smell and measuring flight, zipped away to honey...

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I retired a couple years ago
and decided to take a gardening class
because otherwise I probably would starve
even with food stamps,
given my retirement plan
was mainly to live off my still-freeloading adult perpetual-children.

This gardening class cost more than it was worth,
so just about exactly what a reasonable...

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Scarecrow

You'll find me 
in paddy fields and gardens;
even on front porches. 
I'm a decoy, as lonely as can be. 
I look frozen in time, 
mimicking Jesus 
crucified on the cross, 
but I swear I mean no disrespect, 
you religious zealots! 
Blame farmers and gardeners! 
They...

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I heard tell some folks think cowboys built the West.
The only thing I know for sure is I always did my best
to give a man a good days work for an honest wage
ridin' among tumbleweeds and dried brush of sage.
I wear a Colt 45 to...

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A hunter was out one day just for the exercise and fun, not looking to kill anything. He had a reputation as an excellent hunter. To be on the safe side, for his own protection, he wisely took his favorite gun with him.  ...

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Hail-fellow-well-met had hair of the dogs
                               A little pipped up to scare off the fogs
...

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I look up at the sky
The moon ,it's on its way up
There is something that makes me hiccup

Hiccup with fear
That something is very,very near

Werewolves ,zombies
It is unclear

All I know
Something is very very near

What was near
I'm still unsure
But I look up at the sky
It looks really...

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Product of Dave the Brave

Product of Peace
Product of Poverty
Product of Happy
Product of Charity 
P-Product of crazy...weightless envy...bipolar blues...etc. etc.

Product of selfish ambition ...
A shameful sin in disguise 
Turning my cheek to this decision
Discussion goes beyond the sight of eyes 

That's what they consider me as...
That's...

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GROUPER    GROPER

My god is this ocean getting crowded or what?
Time was I could swim here for days and spot
Not   even another Goliath Grouper
Now  I can’t even see - it’s like fog  -  a  pea-souper
Because of all...

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My Marigolds stink
yes, you heard me,
if I accidentally touch them
they smell like skunk pee.

I can't stand being near them
'cause they stink so darn bad,
these are the stinkiest flowers
I think I have ever had.

Sure, they look nice and all
bloom out quite nice,
but I think their stink
would...

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In the darkest and coldest world
one can find a flickering flame,
never allowed to shine brightly and widely
and break the macabre darkness;
nothing could escape from here,
from its torturous and squalid abyss...
where each demon has a frown of austerity: 
ah, in this obscure confinement, I'd be afraid!

In...

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Your grandfather wants to apologize
not just for voting for Donald Trump,
but also for praying he would continue in Presidential Office
with YHWH's fertile blessings
of sacred ChristCentered Hearts and Minds,
economic and political leadership of divine Retributive Judgment.

Honey,
I think you're about to lose them
with this punishing narrative.
Why don't...

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Often times when we glance at the mirror
Staring through its lens in powdered face.
We marvel, we wonder and ponder
Over the physical flesh.

O! Do you sometimes cry
Wishing you were carved from the finest of marble,
Or you smile when showers of compliment flood your being?

If only beauty...

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