Wait

The realisation that this violent red came up in me, that it had put itself out there, against a peaceful blue hidden underneath my skin I thought, but once this disconnection came up, an unsafety, the red escaped and in an instant, alien became less distant, fluid in my daily countenance. How I’ve always assumed you were the rock and I the water, how it turned out to be all the same. Me fully capable of standing on stones in the fluidity of waves, in this distractive life. And even while I peak over the cliff edge, with the wind in my face, drawn into depth & distance - I know the cracks of then and the hills of now will become a passage, a progress, through the fragments I breathe, for the joy I feel. You went along with a trust to my inner world while you wouldn’t anyway. So I decided to wend my place, to dream up a furnishing and survive nonetheless. Once your heart has jumped out of your body, the rivers & tides will smooth over. Structured daydreaming will bring out the bright, fresh morning I need, to scare off the ghosts of my lost night, a subverted realism to coast through a clear consciousness over the guilt and some uneasy providence. What's done, is done. True. Time well spent.