Best Salmonella Poems

FRED THE PERV.

Kinky Fred stole knickers off the line
One summer night his haul totalled nine
His spree ended in tears
Got an extra ten years
When Judge Sue said that red pair were mine.

LARS.

A young astronaut from NASA called Lars
Blasted off from Cape Kennedy to Mars
But then there...

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Sit and watch the thin, blank dawn
that never quite sweeps you off your feet.
Wrestle with memories that don't want to be suppressed,
and repress the urge to canon-ball into the ocean. 
(sinking: sinking slowly, because you never learned how to swim.)

Listen to rainbows churning in oil-spill...

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Humanity Canteen

My restaurant is exclusive and classy no paupers allowed though I
have to declare that I picked up the chef near the township where
on a paraffin cooker in his garden of plenty lots of dishevelment in
which he stewed maize meal and half rotten gruel into...

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Eggs, eggs, glorious eggs
I could eat 'em three time a day
Scrambled, poached or sunny side up
I love 'em any old way

Eggs, eggs, glorious eggs
Like a yummy egg salad sandwich
Devilled eggs, I could eat by the dozen
I'll even try one from an ostrich

Eggs, eggs, glorious eggs
Now...

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Watch out, fella!
Beware of Salmonella!...

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A Serving of Bacteria With the Pork?

By Elton Camp

It’s hard to believe that some say
Eating pork that’s pink is okay

Here’s how a supermarket survey went
Yersinia were found in nearly 70 percent

Salmonella, enterococcus and listeria too
Make undercooked pork a meal to rue

Since hogs to begin with...

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ROAD TO DAMASCUS

Granite faith exfoliated by superguns and sanctions whirls,
on this earth succumbing into dry spell of peace,
War-crats and confidantes skinning freedom from its people
Kofi drinking coffee with revolutionaries and revolutionaries in 
Aleppo cafe on his way to Damascus

Daughters eating NGOs, GMOs, condoms and twitter
Bullet...

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I really should'a read the fine print,
when I booked this trip.
Now, thanks to salmonella,
we're all stuck on this ship....

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Pay Your Taxes
No one relaxes
Before paying taxes


Close Shave
Homeless man shaved
By cop saved


Wait For It…
American tax cheat
IRS hot seat


Bacteria Blues
Watch out, fella!
Beware of salmonella!


Twitter Rants
Twitter “shadow banning”
Latest flame fanning


Red Planet
Liquid water lake?
For goodness sake!


Century's Longest Lunar Eclipse
Longest lunar eclipse
Blood moon outstrips...

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roast beef (rare) had looks beyond compare
his face was rosy and blush
without a trace of stubble or gristle
he was suave and clean
a beef lovers dream
hard and lean                  ...

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Sunny Side Up Please

By Elton Camp

As to eating runny eggs, experts say
It’s far preferable just to run away

Undercooked yolk & translucent white
Due to salmonella, are quite a fright

Such cooking, the CDC does deride
For eggs are laid with germs inside

Consuming  “over light” is a mistake
Frying...

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Sunny Side Up

By Elton Camp

It’s my favorite breakfast food of all
Delicious eggs filled with cholesterol
Scrambled they can come out too dry
So sometimes poaching them I’ll try

But they way I like them cooked best
That is far superior to any of the rest
The white is set, but...

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I signed up for beginner lessons at a gourmet cooking school
Everything was going well at first; the chef was pretty cool
Aroma of well-seasoned chicken parmesan made me drool
But that was before the dramatic entrance of a silly fool

Smilin' like the Cheshire Cat, his name was...

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-In 2008, a massive recall of peanuts thought to be contaminated with bacteria occured. Not 
very many people became ill, and only twenty percent of those that did were hospitalized. 
Only a handful died. It was a media frenzy.-

Did you know? 
Did You hear?

The tree...

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No stitches will work.
You have to navigate-
               in mendacities.

You have to navigate-
in mendacities to find
               the truth,...

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