Best Relapsed Poems
Setbacks Contest
Sponsor: Nayda Ivette Negrom
missing link unknown
her death my pity hindrance
lessening of growth
regressed innocence
before successful progress
life’s impediment
severe frustration
defeated bloodline mourning
extinct from her loss
thirsty for closure
beyond my intelligence
woe relapsed from strength
prayers heal my heart
yesterday’s setbacks bring hope
struggle gains freedom
~1st Place Winner~
Date Written: July 6, 2016
In the corridors of a muddled mind,
Within the condensation of a thick fog,
I often find,
A relapsed presence, a menopause
In life, an uncertainty
Of kind,
Where good and evil dined.
Poetry is the release for such a mind
For it abides,
Inside the realms of the unknown,
Hands you a key to reach,
Un-reckoned heights,
Ventures into twilight,
The beginning or end almost tangible,
The journey, virgin as a bride.
Ideas cascade vigilantly fast,
And sometimes in stone are cast,
You think your mind
Is playing tricks,
You hope the misty clouds above,
Will recommend,
And bring to an end,
This troubled mind,
One of a kind,
The likes of which, no one will ever find.
A sudden darkness creeps ever close,
A demon like, vile haunting chill,
Steadfast in your spirit, soul
And mind,
It will not influence your will.
Let good and evil collide,
For you have finally
Chosen your side.
The unwanted solitude that was once
Yours, arresting the normal start, if
Theirs such a thing, of every day
You have sent to its dreary grave,
The winning post was always
Within your sight,
But you took time to
Understand your blight,
For blinded by the terror of being
Lost in the corridors of a muddled mind,
Your rightful route you
Could not find,
Bravely, you did not waver and have
Proved, you are, one of a kind.
this poem is about my addiction to drugs and although now clean, still struggle with temptation, this drug is evil and destructive and I hope this touches all who may be struggling to free themselves from its grasp
WHISPERS OF METH
Ive relapsed more than once, this evil is enticing
I still pay for my mistakes
I will warn you, he will destroy you, your life it will take
his name is meth, some call him ice or shard
he changed my life and it has never been so hard
he swept me off my feet at first sight
we danced and and laughed all through the night
but then the smiles started fading
and he whispered in my ear
words that tormented my mind
but were very, very clear
he said "you are mine forever, my lies you believed
and I will never love you, like you love me
youll die on my command
your life now in the palm of my hand
and till then youll live in my domain
you are my prisoner, another victim, my gift is your pain
now I have you in my control
youll beg and plead for me to let you go
but youll still chase, if you try escape me
ill give you a month or two, maybe three
try if you can to run and hide
but it wont take you long to miss me my bride
yes, we are married we are one - im all you've got
their all gone - your friends and family, I took the lot
I even took your children, your dignity and home
so if you divorce me remember youll be all alone
youll come back, they always do
im married to more people than you know - its not just you
time is fading, your days are numbered
ill watch you breathe your last breath and laugh where you slumbered
Mum really likes her Moggy.
The cats her pride and joy.
I swear to God it"s pampered,
much more than US her boys!
The cat it understands this,
and goes out of its way.
To suck up to my Mother,
at least ten times a day!
It really makes me jealous,
so much i gotta mention.
That cat gets on my wick.
Commanding Mums attention.
So i devised a plan,
to get a little pay back.
The best form of defence
is to go on the attack!
A family "DO" was coming.
It really made me think.
A chance for some revenge.
there"s gonna be some Drink!
The big night it arrived.
My plans were put in place.
I acted all polite,
angelic round the face.
The Party in full swing.
I borrowed Gordons Gin,
and poured it in cats bowl.
The one beside the bin.
I added the full cream.
The cat could not resist.
He lapped and lapped relapsed!
By now he was well pissed!
He threw up in the kitchen.
He threw up in the hall.
My plan was on its way,
he was heading for a fall!
I lifted Moggy up,
then opened up the door,
and promptly put him down,
upon the living room floor.
He staggered round about.
It really was a shame,
poor old Mr Moggy,
he was really out the game.
My Mothers jaw just dropped.
As Moggy took a pee,
in front of all the guests
atop the new settee.
Yes revenge is best served cold.
What else can i say.
Poor old Mr Moggy,
it just was not his day!
I said the first thing in my head.
I know it was a sin.
But i couldn"t help but say,
"Look what the cat drank in!"
After very long time, I took out my shirt
Cornered in the wardrobe on a hanger.
I found a long familiar hair in the collar
How a*beauty drew me with a single hair.
Ah! What a feel of an intoxicating smell
Of her most favored Bocheron perfume.
Bringing back the memory of the past
I wore that shirt in that memorial winter.
Relapsed in to that my fondest memory
As I was penning pretty poor poetry
The blonde with midnight black hair came
Asked me to finish my poem*March Madness.
My unfinished poem in black ink dried up
Finished and could finish my wet desire.
Those curious locks my soul so aptly twined
Whose every soft hair a soul doth bind.
Young memory of first love never fades away
Old memory is like flowers planted yesterday.
********
*Inspired by Alexander Pope
** My Poem in the Archives.
=========================================
Fourth Place win in
Contest : Fondest memory sponsored by frank Herrera
1. Non-fiction
The bathroom faucet gushes nectar
drowns my hands in never-laughter,
"Sorry" is a specter
when you told me "0" I felt disgusting,
hopelessly deluded,
naked.
Last night I dreamed
that New York City was nuked,
another Twin Towers Lost,
everyone radiated.
But then I dreamed of you,
in a tight blue dress,
glaring,
cute pout,
"Is this right?" you asked
as you flawlessly played
Beethoven's "The Tempest."
I smiled. "Perfect."
I hardly smile these days.
2. Satisfaction
Deflection of your image is essential.
The closer I get, the more
those spiders right there
don't you see them
slipping on the stucco wall?
They remember the feeling
that satisfaction brings
of outsmarting us all
as the sky reflected in my fingernail
is a storyteller of love's plastic rings.
Is it summer yet?
This doesn't feel
adventurous, heart-warming,
sunsets, beaches,
grandfather, innocent crush,
my eyes in sugar rush,
and the books that told me much
so that I could die one day in your hush.
3. A Loss of Inspiration
Midnight's soon, the day's been wasted
thinking of worlds aside from This,
the walls' three dents from my broken fist
and the postcard she forgot she posted
in this odd room I fill
with jackets, wisdom, thrill,
come sundown I rush into wishes
that my jealousy could be just,
yet it's "brand-new in a landfill"
restoring your horrified webcam look.
Since you've gone and my love has died,
this pen's bloodstains have been my pride.
4. Medicine
Maybe you don't realize
you've crushed that tiny bug.
His funeral will not be held,
not until the walls cover their ears,
and blood diamonds ask for fears.
A refill
and a terror,
I can only see your purple sweater
bending once for all my vice;
Maroon Dream City is waiting for us.
These med heavens.
So addicting
until I relapsed into your eyes,
I'm still sick of it all:
the horizon never reached
and darkness perched and ready.
Stop confusing me already.
5. Hideout
Hey, why did
I miss you
Your smile from last June
And no girl will ever
I wonder
I wonder
Slow down, run me over
And laaaugh
Come walk beside this faster incompletion
On a chilly night of sirens
Hey, why did
And my head pounds from lack of
Hey, if I were to go forever
Come to me in my hideout
and I'll kiss your scream
with eternity.
Striving for perfection comes with a price
so it's true the higher you climb the more unforgiving people become,
so I ask God let thy will be done not mines,
I too felt like I was in the garden of Gethsemane in my life time,
forced to make decisions about the people in it when their season was finished,
am I tripping. That's what they said,
and my actions obviously led them to believe that this wasn't supposed to happen,
kinda like how we who call ourselves believers or even devout saints
weren't suppose to let sin be the reason we relapsed. Cut out the Holier than thou act
truth is even those you idolize and pedestal are in rehab,
everyone is struggling with something,
so go ahead keep lying to yourself but note to self
the first step is acceptance, accepting that you are far from right with God, you went left.
Go ahead repent, what the Holy spirit does that non believers or atheist will never get
is that it shoots straight threw pride past your emotions and leaves a convicting spirit
with the fear in your soul where you finally can admit and say "I'm not right"
you see the biggest misconception about Christianity in the west,
is that if you accept Jesus as your Lord and saviour then everything this world,
these streets couldn't offer you he will and indeed bless you with the rest.
But here's the truth,
just because you came in class late you are not exempt from the test,
Hell, God made his self into a man,
and because he saw no end to our ancestors wickedness,
he deemed it necessary that the only way to redeem us was to give up himself for us.
Now I'm no preacher, I don't even go to church
so don't confuse me with any lay member, minister, or deacon just someone who kinda
knows the Holy script according to how the Catholic church saw fit to write it up.
but here's the message. How can you, a finite flawed human being compete with his
perfection, you can't, stop trying he knows this, so start shooting for progression.
Because no matter how good of a saint you try to be,
you can't buy your way into Heaven.
He paid the price you've been set free from bondage of the flesh.
You got what you didn't deserve,
he took what was coming to you and that's what we call grace.
So I guess my only other question to those who say only God can judge me,
without Christ Jesus how you plan to beat the case...
THE REAL END OF THE COLD WAR 1989
This is why the Soviet Union collapsed?
The rail engineers were then all women -
Who stopped working in uniform - relapsed
(This is why the Soviet Union collapsed.)
They did cocaine lines on the steel, perhaps
Relaxing on the job by rail-sittin’.
This is why the Soviet Union collapsed:
The rail engineers were then all women.
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
NOTE
Each line has ten syllables. The word “soviet” seems to have three syllables but is usually pronounced with only two - as “sov” “yet”. Likewise “union” is usually “yun” “yon”
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Written by Sydney Peck for
Nette Onclaud’s contest IN THE AFTERGLOW
Born into this realm surreal,
With truth being revealed,
Lack of understanding so it remains sealed,
Was feeling weak, but with that there's a negative cost,
So lost but I refuse to retreat,
See this system won't beat me,
The tree of knowledge is the living key,
Always keen, so I wake from my ignorance and dreams,
Dreaming a dream that's influenced by the green,
Now that’s past tense, been clean since the start of the year,
Hence I’ve got myself back into gear,
Was blinded by the glare of all the deceit out there,
But today is shining bright like a flare in the sky's night,
I’ve ignited my inner ignition again and again when I've lost sight,
No one to blame but myself,
Relapsed collapsing my consciousness health,
From out of my mouth can come unthoughtful information,
When I leave my path and forget my destination,
Restoration is needed, heeded instead of being defeated,
Remembering our heated minds can change and have miracle abilities,
Through mindful activity causing brain plasticity,
Even a super computer can't compare,
For this we need active awareness practices which today is very rare,
Meditation and conscious of being self-aware,
While on this earth expedition,
Tell yourself this over and over through daily repetition,
Ignorance is currently the world’s situation,
No understanding of our physical and mental reality conditions,
Being negatively focused on this puts us into all sorts of depressions....
When the 21st century stepped into its third decade, the major tone of the world sharply switched. Internecine confrontation, cartelism and calumniation snaffled the high pitch, while comprehension, cooperation and cosmopolitanism, like ill-adapting burdens and nuisances, are inexorably pitched out of the era's finickier and finickier register.
The last 4 years, principally accountable for the bend toward such trend, has a clear pattern.
Since the moment that pussy-grabber grabbed the oval office through foreign fix, everything seemed to have been predetermined.
Needless to argue: just as a train steering along its normal route suddenly swerved into an appalling aberration under multiple symptoms of systematic failure, poped up a chain of bizzare behaviors: a row of willful withdrawals from multiple international organizations and treaties, barefaced dunning over allies for protection fees, capricious veer of trade vanes highlighting haphasard jitters of tariff rates toward countries of utterly different natures and qualities, pussyfooting pace toward putin and patronizing pose before pals as well as other unpredictable hitches and glitches in the making and implementation of policies or even nondescript whimsical whistles that had perplexed many politicians, publicists and observers who believe U.S to have relapsed into isolationism, that is, paying more attentions to or becoming exclusively occupied in its own business with less or without interventions or concerns upon external matters. Many uttered criticism over this phlegmatic position, pointing out it was the isolationism that had connived at the fascist aggrandizement and caused the inadequacy of vigilance in the pearl harbor incident before it finally gave way to requisite engagement. But I have to say the wording of isolationism is simply unfitting nowadays. One can prove this by drawing a comparison between the degree of globalization of recent times and that before world war 2. As we take a glimpse back to the period around 1940, we can find that oversea entities and links were relatively meagre and the corresponding influence and leverage upon other countries relatively negligible. At that time, pursuing isolationism was more or less of a certain venial aspect.
White nights
Another night so dark and bleak
How did I become so weak
Here I’ll lay this is it
My cold dark lonely pit
Because over me it still has power
this so very destructive white fluffy powder
I feel there’s no hope
I’m struggling to cope
I feel so trapped
Now that I’ve relapsed
I so wanted to conquer
Reclaim some honour
But you succumbed to the call
Where so many of us fall
That dark blank spot we have to thank
You have no memory of
That moment you sank
What’s next for me
where do I go
Do I move on and rise once more
Or do I stay here dying for sure
I know what to do I even know how
Lift your head up and take a bow
Ive listened to the words I’ve heard all the advice
It’s all so simple and so concise
Is it the drugs that made me a slave
Or is it actually the self pity I crave
I don’t really care I just want some relief
I seemed to have lost all my belief
I keep going over and over again
Looking I think for a reason a blame
But I think it’s so clear to see that the blame lays here with me
So shrouded in sadness
And sinking in madness
I know that I have to pull myself free
From all of this crippling misery
So if you stumble and stall
Don’t stay where you fall
New foundations you have to build
Only then will your pain be healed
Caged out inside herself
The dark light will never shine
Why do you care to think negative
If you'd care to think at all?
Can you believe I wanted to be you?
The dream faded long ago
Once I realized it was me whom was right; prudence redeemed
Your thoughts were wrong
Why would you ever try someone that is less than you
Someone that could never contend
Directly to the end?
My ashes turn dark
Suffering from the sins of others
No melody can save me
I'm crossing the borderline
Waking up in a dream
Is it justified To harm others
Only to break your insecurities
To fill your prejudice
I wish I could know
Why you do this
The words freeze when the come to me
To burn another was they set into you
Relapsed again I was left bleeding
Cause I'm not good enough if I can be me
You were the dream; I was the nightmare
Serendipity came for me
And I woke up in a dream
My ashes turn dark
Suffering from the sins of others
No melody can save me
I'm crossing the borderline
Waking up in a dream
My ashes turn dark
Suffering from the sins of others
No melody can save me
I'm crossing the borderline
Waking up in a dream
Say oh, I must say, to you,
Mon plus Cher ami
Yes to you
I'm sorry I had an opinion
I'm sorry I felt for one who can't feel
I'm sorry I wasn't you
I'm sorry I can only be me
I'm sorry your dread words will never again be heard by me
My ashes turn dark
Suffering from the sins of others
No melody can save me
I'm crossing the borderline
Waking up in a dream
My ashes turn dark
Suffering from the sins of others
No melody can save me
I'm crossing the borderline
Waking up in a dream
Bayezid Bostami-
A caring soul , a devoted one, for his mom,
since he was a child,
On a moonlit night, at midnight , mom woke up
and called, “O My son!
For my thirst unquenched, have thy grace to save me, your holy thee!” She said,
Before she relapsed , in a deep sleep ,
eyes closed
The young soul gazed around the room,
a room, where, only to be found a pitcher, empty, and barren,
An intrepid one, he, determined to be, a heroic effort,
to fetch water from the remotest fountain, alone
I was on a journey
The destination wasn't clear
I needed to experiment
And challenge every fear
I was slightly unsure
But not at all lost
He lured me in with his mind
And the price of my heart it cost
I wanted to have just a taste
But then we really connected
Aside from everything I ever knew
I was irrevocably infected
I tried to make sense of it all
Then easily dismissed the thought
I hadn't realized I was hooked
And too distracted to know I was caught
I mean, I was on a serious high
The one you always chase after
And the feeling was just so good
Like those deep bursts of sudden laughter
It's not easy to admit
But the addiction became clear
Every time he was far away
I needed him close, needed him near
I urgently needed to detox
It was time to break away
I managed to stay clean
For 3 weeks and 5 days
Put up all my guards
Avoided all the traps
And when I thought
I was strong enough
I easily relapsed
Light it up. As I'm gazing through the
white lines. All I see is black written words
I must be high. Wiping my eyes to clear
my vision, I would be rich if I could sell
this because its so refreshing. Even when
I sleep their in my thoughts and my
dreams. Smile on my face when I hear
them saxophones sing. Dancing with my
dream girl or maybe a couple. Flashing
the finger to my haters as I stay humble.
Hearing my favorite music bumping. My
brain starts jumping. Love this feeling
wish it will never stop. But as the beat
drops and the people and the party stop I
hear a loud beep. I woke up and realized
its my alarm clock. "Beep beep beep" roll
over "bee-" man what a hangover. Now
I'm back to reality I gotta stay focused
and can't go back. But if writing and
music was a drug.....I just relapsed. Light
it up.