Best Read The Fine Print Poems
I see that Bubba’s so forlorn.
He’s too depressed to talk today.
Two months in a full-body cast
can keep one’s cheerfulness at bay.
He donned his super hero suit
and took a header off the roof
(two-story!) Nothing broke his fall.
He lies now, silent and aloof.
He’d failed to read the tiny print:
“This suit can’t really make you fly.”
If he weren’t forty-five years old,
I’d feel compassion—even cry.
Date Written: January 29, 2018
Contest Title: Shoulda Read the Fine Print-2
Sponsor: John Lawless
Should'a Read The Fine Print
I am intrigued by all computer tasks,
and competent and skilled in every scheme
from word process and graphic arts design,
to spreadsheets, database and all between.
But, I became too confident last week
when I downloaded upgrades that were bad
for programs that I use...I acted quick...
and what a sad computer crash I had!
You see, the upgrade versions were not right;
computer froze with dreaded screen of blue!
Technician came and, for a hefty price,
it was repaired and set to go as new.
The moral is, I thought I knew it all
and cut some corners...shortened up the stint.
I learned a lesson I will not forget...
I really should'a read that dang fine print!
Sandra M. Haight
~10th Place~ Premiere Congest
Contest: I Really Should'a Read the Fine Print
Sponsor: John Lawless
Iambic Meter: 10 syllables and 5 feet per line
Judged: 04/28/2016
True story - This happened April 2, 2016, and I got my computer back a week later.
Thank goodness I had all my documents and important files backed up on an
external hard drive (done every day) whereby I hooked it up to an older computer and could proceed with my work - especially for Poetry Soup!!
I really should’a read the fine print when I bought a ‘micro pig’
For this porker is enormous, surely it’s not meant to grow this big!
I really should’a read the fine print when I brought an old motor car
It broke down on the way home ...oh dear it didn’t get very far
He really should’a read the fine print when his bright pink condom split
Money back if not completely satisfied – I don’t believe a word of it!
I really should’a read the fine print when I joined a get rich quick scheme
I sent off all my bank details … and found my account has been wiped clean!
Contest – Should’a read the small print Sponsored by John Lawless
04~11~16
In the catalogue picture I saw
Such a gemstone that filled me with awe.
Oh, but I should have known
That ring’s smaller than shown -
At least SEVEN times tinier. BAH!
Written April 17, 2016 for Contest that closed 4/28
Nww used for the Second Chance #3 Poetry Contest of Broken Wings
It's pretty much all I have to enter this time!
I REALLY SHOULD'A READ THE FINE PRINT Contest
Sponsor: John Lawless
Looking through old photographs with stacks of papers,
Reading long lost love affair letters from my sweet,
If only I could’ve been strong enough to save her,
For she is my soul saving wonder who made me complete.
No longer will she be a versifier inside my heart...her words saved me countless times and now she is gone, and so are her journals.
When the cancer came we were utterly shocked. She was so healthy and happy and we made a marvelous life together in a span of over twenty years.
She had suffered through treatments and died while trying to survive. It was too late…she was gone and she took her love letters with her…
Piles of paperwork and days full of sorrow; I just couldn’t live without her. My essence died with her and my existence shattered.
I found our wedding certificate and started weeping. Vows sworn under oath and a matrimonial kiss shared on the alter. For we were finally bound together through sickness and health.
I stopped and read the certificate. On the day of our wedding, nowhere did I see it stated if one shall die the other must move on. If only I had read this before. If only I had known what I was getting myself into. I slowly read the fine print…
“When two souls are united as one, if one shall pass away the other must keep living a life of dreams in honor of the harmony of their sworn commitment.”
Looking through old photographs with stacks of papers,
I saw the affirmation of the sacred vows between best friends,
she is now gone as I struggle to move on and be greater,
But the fine print never mattered…I’d marry her all over again…
Date Written: April 18, 2016
Should have read the fine print when I ordered my Thai bride
My doorbell rang, there she stood, said "Can I come inside ?"
"Come in" I said, "I'll take your bag and would you like some tea ?"
" Yes please" she said " But please kind sir could you make that three ?"
She saw my puzzled look and thought she'd better explain to me
"On Thai Bride Dot Com, you order one and you get two free
When you place your order, It isn't only me
You also get a mother in-law and my old granny".
Rice and fish is all we ate for breakfast, dinner and tea
I did detest, tried to protest but they just laughed at me
They loved to shop and sight see in my hometown, Baltimore
On our return they'd rush for seats and I'd end up on the floor.
Night was worse, four in a bed, it was quite a squeeze
I couldn't sleep, scratched all night, one of them had fleas
I shouda read the fine print, wanted a bride not family
Life was hell, they drove me mad ,I knew i had to flee.
I was heading for a breakdown or worse I'd end up dead
And as I lay in bed one night an idea came in my head
Next day before the sun was up I fled and left the scene
I'm going to sign up for twenty years as a U.S. marine.
Written on 30th Of January 2018
So many years ago, in my teen years,
our mom received a gift, her newest 'toy',
a Presto pressure cooker added to
her kitchen to create meals we'd enjoy.
Split pea soup recipe she'd planned to make,
to cook for sure in minutes, not in hours.
Excited we had gathered round to watch,
and knew fine soup for dinner would be ours.
At once, the pressure cooker went berserk!
It started hissing, shaking...gave a hint,
as soup shot up to paint our ceiling green,
that momma shoulda read the darn fine print!
Sandra M. Haight
~7th Place~
Contest: Shoulda Read The Fine Print - 2
Sponsor: John Lawless
Judged: 02/18/2018
True Story!
I should'a read the fine print
when into the hairdresser's I did go
no guarantee that the shade or tint
won't end up indigo
I looked like a parrot
all they said was with a laugh
better than looking like a carrot
asked if I wanted to buy a scarf
I should'a read the fine print
after I hit her with my shoe
when they called the police
asking what caused the to-do
said I wasn't supposed to look like parrot
a golden blonde was what I wanted
you should'a read the fine print
is what the policeman quoted.
I am sitting in a cell my mind is awhirl
I look like a blue parrot in a cage
first person who says what a pretty girl
will be the victim of my rage.
Penned 12/4/2016
when I met him I was dizzy with love
swept off my feet in a cloud of pure lust
I had butterflies in my tummy
totally discombobulated
I think he used some hocus-pocus on me
oh I abandoned all self control for this man
those deep brown eyes had me drowning
his sublime deep voice was captivating
it was hopeless to fight
I really should'a read the fine print
he whispered sultry sweet things in my ear
he caressed my hair
and I told him I loved him hopelessly
and I am pretty sure he felt the same
because he soon asked me to marry him
I do- we both said
we promised to love each other forever
till death do us part
well I really should'a read the fine print
because forever was only a few years
it seems God had another set of directions
and our love was to be erstwhile and fleeting
it was written in the book of life
and it was sudden and sorrowful
then he was gone
only a name engraved in stone cold to be
now I am left in a labyrinth twisting and turning
my forever is a forever grief
I really should'a read the fine print
but would it have made a difference
could I have turned away from my love
even if I knew the ending
in that fine print that needed a magnifying glass
to read- no
would have loved him anyways
I carry red roses to his tomb
under an infinite motionless blue sky above
I walk a path that winds like a river
in dreams I hold him to my heart
and weep for what was in the fine print
_____________________________
April 12, 2016
Free Verse
For the contest, I Really Should'a Read The Fine Print,
sponsor, John Lawless
First Place
Shoulda read the fine print - 8 Feb 2018
Binary code can only be understood
by those who look closely under the hood
The fine print of human DNA
the crux of reproduction per se
The fine print so small and very well hidden
the knowledge of such, to many, forbidden
Evolving from ‘God’ only knows what
to intellectual beings, self-taught!
Upgrading the human fine print in time
for that one day when the stars do align
And then when we take to planets anew
to breed DNA without further ado
These poor ET creatures will begin to think
“Shoulda read the fine print, *now we’re extinct!”
SHOULDA READ THE FINE PRINT
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
in bygone days I did the football pools
and always hoped my X had marked the spot?
making sure that I had read all the rules
an agent did the post ere I forgot.
for years not one single problem, until
my draws came up, I had marked the right spot.
on paper, I'd won a fortune! the thrill!
sadly the agent to post had forgot".
oh yes! it went to court, I'd win I thought,
all I got, for what its worth, my stake back.
yeah! so much for rules, taking it to court.
onus, on me, to see it in the sack!
I was wrought, I had read all the rules, but
I shoulda read the fine print, adjudged, shut!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Composed 17th January 2018
Entered in 'shoulda read the fine print' Poetry Contest, sponsored by John lawless
I still ain’t read the fine print
As I stand holding her bag,
listening to insipid music
battle the rattling chatter
of shopping cart wheels,
at these times I know
“I really should’a read the fine print”.
While waiting, “patiently” at the door
as she continues the “never ending story”
complete with “flashback scenes”
added by her six sisters – I know
“I really should’a read the fine print”.
Standing in the delivery room
while she underwent a “C” section delivery,
seeing “that” look on her face
as the Doctor handed the baby – to me
“I really should’a read the fine print”.
When I asked her “what do you want for your birthday”
and she said --- “Nothing.”
So I got her what she wanted ---- Nothing!!!
“I really should’a read the fine print”.
On those all too often occasions
when she said “Oh, you don’t have to go.”
And I didn’t – I now know
“I really should’a read the fine print”.
It’s been nearly forty years.
I’m still holding bags,
waiting patiently in doorways
getting her what she wants for her birthday
going fishing when she says: “Oh, you don’t have to go.”
Damn! After all these years…….
“I still ain’t read the fine print”.
John G. Lawless
4/11/2016
Shoulda read the fine print; my bad!
I’d still have my dog if I had,
but “no pets” the contract had said.
The dog’s with my ex now instead.
At least for the pool I was glad.
Shoulda read the fine print; my bad!
No guests?! After bragging to friends?!
My big dream of pool parties ends.
I’m off campus, yet MY rules too
are for students of BYU.
Shoulda read the fine print; my bad!
Now there goes my bachelor pad!
No women, no gambling, no booze.
There’s “L” on my forehead. I lose.
Happy Valley? I call this sad!
Shoulda read the fine print. My bad!
Feb 7, 2018
For the 'shoulda read the fine print - 2' Poetry Contest of John Lawless
(just imagining a guy stumbling into the city of Provo unaware of BYU standards and somehow signing a contract to live with off-campus students!)
Hounding my head how stupid I was,
shoulda read the fine print.
I misplaced my glasses and couldn't see
what I bought online and they were sending me;
that bottle of wine didn't help my sight.
When I opened that package
excited to wear my new underwear
you can imagine my fright
to find a box with a pair of Candy G-string and bra.
Embarrassed to wear them,
but decide to give it a try
eager to see if they make me feel sexy and young.
My husband is in the corner crying
because he doesn’t get a treat
he is a diabetic and can't have anything sweet.
2/15/2018
I should not read that fine print
I should not read the fine print
For it hurts my eyes as I try.
It's so tiny that I cannot read.
To find out that they are taking my money
Or that i have to pay twice to get the gift.
I should not read the fine print
For it might tell me I'm going blind.
So read with care for it might tell you a story