Always Read the Fine Print

Should have read the fine print when I ordered my Thai bride
My doorbell rang, there she stood, said "Can I come inside ?"
"Come in" I said, "I'll take your bag and would you like some tea ?" 
" Yes please" she said " But please kind sir could you make that three ?"

She saw my puzzled look and thought she'd better explain to me
"On Thai Bride Dot Com, you order one and you get two free
When you place your order, It isn't only me
You also get a mother in-law and my old granny".

Rice and fish is all we ate for breakfast, dinner and tea
I did detest, tried to protest but they just laughed at me
They loved to shop and sight see in my hometown, Baltimore
On our return they'd rush for seats and I'd end up on the floor.

Night was worse, four in a bed, it was quite a squeeze
I couldn't sleep, scratched all night, one of them had fleas
I shouda read the fine print, wanted a bride not family
Life was hell, they drove me mad ,I knew i had to flee.

I was heading for a breakdown or worse I'd end up dead
And as I lay in bed one night an idea came in my head
Next day before the sun was up I fled and left the scene
I'm going to sign up for twenty years as a U.S. marine.


Written on 30th Of January 2018
Copyright © | Year Posted 2018

Poem

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George Avatar
January 7, 2024 at 2:52 AM
What a sad predicament ! Buy one and get two more free.... ! Oh, what a deal ! Indeed so hilarious and this has left me chuckling! Your escape at the end must have made them so upset!
Cunningham Avatar
January 7, 2024 at 3:50 AM
Thank you very much Valsa, I'm happy you enjoyed the humour. Hope your weekend is going well. Tom
James Avatar
December 8, 2020 at 4:30 AM
lol what a predicament, glad he escaped from that nightmare. So funny Tom, could see this so vividly and you never know might see those scenes in a film one day lol. Emilia : )
Cunningham Avatar
December 8, 2020 at 5:03 AM
Thanks Emilia, problem with a lot of things is you need a magnifying glass to read the small print. Tom
Gauthier Avatar
May 10, 2018 at 11:12 PM
Hilarious, Tom. Love it. A worthy win.
Cunningham Avatar
May 11, 2018 at 1:20 AM
Thank you Line, glad that you enjoyed it. Tom.
Williams Avatar
February 3, 2018 at 11:58 PM
Oh wow, you were 'had'. Got to read that fine print next time. This is so funny, sure needed that laugh. Good luck in the contest Tom on an awesome write lol....Maria
Cunningham Avatar
February 4, 2018 at 4:21 AM
Thank you Maria,I bet there aren't many of us who haven't been stung by the hidden terms and conditions ,they are that small they're almost hidden haha. Regards Tom
Y. Avatar
February 3, 2018 at 10:59 PM
Hi Tom, Lol! This was very entertaining. It caused me laugh out loud. I could just imagine the whole secen. I wish you the best of luck in contest:-) Alexis
Cunningham Avatar
February 3, 2018 at 11:30 PM
Thank you Alexis, I'm glad that you enjoyed it. The marketing people certainly know how to catch you out. Regards Tom
Tracy Avatar
February 3, 2018 at 12:21 AM
This one had me giggling :) I certainly enjoyed it! Best wishes, Tom!
Cunningham Avatar
February 3, 2018 at 2:18 AM
Thank you Melissa, The moral of it is there's always a way out. Lol. Glad you enjoyed it. Regards Tom
Brown  Avatar
February 1, 2018 at 2:56 PM
Haha brilliant!!! Made me laugh!! :-)
Cunningham Avatar
February 1, 2018 at 3:10 PM
Thank you Lisa. Glad you enjoyed it.
Hoffman Avatar
January 31, 2018 at 8:03 PM
Lol, I dont blame the lad for joining the marines Tom…this is so funny! Really enjoyed this entertaining well done witty poem! Good luck in the contest!~Che :)
Cunningham Avatar
February 1, 2018 at 12:39 AM
Thank you very much Cheryl.Must admit I was chuckling to myself doing this one, imagining the scene.But then he did get a bonus I suppose. Regards Tom.
Allison Avatar
January 31, 2018 at 2:01 PM
great humour Tom this is really hilarious:-) I wrote about an internet bride too and I think I've seen another poem on the same subject - great minds think alike lol:-) hugs jan xx
Cunningham Avatar
January 31, 2018 at 2:14 PM
Thank you Jan. I remember seeing an email in my junkbox , beautiful Thai brides and it sort of grew from that.( I didn't open it lol)I did have a soup day, the rain and cold stopped play . Regards Tom.
Lamoureux Avatar
January 31, 2018 at 8:31 AM
Oh my, that is quite the predicament! Thanks for this most entertaining write.
Cunningham Avatar
January 31, 2018 at 8:36 AM
Thank you Richard, glad you enjoyed it. Regards Tom.
One Avatar
January 31, 2018 at 8:31 AM
You have a great sense of humour Tom..
Cunningham Avatar
January 31, 2018 at 8:40 AM
Thank you S.O., despite all the gloom in the world, a bit of humour doesn't go amiss. Regards Tom
Talbot Avatar
January 31, 2018 at 6:42 AM
Oh dear, a great read though, laughed til I cried! Wishing you success in the contest!
Cunningham Avatar
January 31, 2018 at 8:03 AM
Thank you Mick, I never mind buy one get one free , but in this case ,well Regards Tom.
Buhain-Baello Avatar
January 31, 2018 at 5:07 AM
A hilarious poem about a lousy deal. The lines were excellently written and the humor truly engaging.
Cunningham Avatar
January 31, 2018 at 5:14 AM
Thank you Cynthia for your kind words. I'm glad that you enjoyed it. Regards Tom.
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