Best Potty Poems
There’s a frog sitting on the potty going, “Rib-bit”.
Sitting down where I normally sit.
I am not sure why the frog came to visit,
But he’s sitting on the potty going, “Rib-bit.
There’s a cow sitting on the potty going, “Moo-moo”.
She’s sitting in the same place that I do.
I am not sure why the cow came to see you,
But she’s sitting on the potty going, “Moo-moo”.
There’s a horse sitting on the potty going, “Neigh-neigh”.
I sit on the potty in the same way.
I am not sure if the horse is here to stay,
But he’s sitting on the potty going, “Neigh-neigh”.
There’s a bird sitting on the potty going, “Tweet-tweet”.
I sit on that very same seat.
I am not sure if this ever will repeat,
But she’s sitting on the potty going, “Tweet-tweet”.
There’s a dog sitting on the potty going, “Bow-wow”.
She climbed up there, but I don’t know how.
I am not sure if that dog is done now,
But she’s sitting on the potty going, “Bow-wow”.
There’s a donkey sitting on the potty going, “Hee-haw”.
He’s sitting there as if it were a see-saw.
I am not sure why the donkey came to call,
But he’s sitting on the potty going, “Hee-haw”.
I am sitting on the potty singing my song,
About the animals that have been here all day long.
If they can use the potty it can’t be all wrong,
So I’m sitting on the potty singing my song.
The Congress it seems had no bathrooms.
They just held it or country was doomed.
They passed regulations
for eliminations
then out of both their chambers they zoomed.
Naughty Potty Pavarotti
There was a young man named Pavarotti
His parents thought he was rather naughty
Because he sang tenor
He could not draw banger
For his mom made him sit on the potty.
Written: 5/10/15
Theresa
At the time I wrote this I was going to enter it into a contest
but as always I missed the contest. Oh well chalk it up to another
limerick has been penned.
Potty Parity
I sadly think when I have to go badly
that perhaps it’s petty, but were I a man
then I would already be in the can!
When Freud enjoyed his heavy levy
that women have toyed with “***** envy”,
maybe he meant these frequent lines we resent!
If annoyed women employed their un-“suppressed” quest
against the rarity of “potty parity”,
we could befuddle Freud in his zest to muddle
through women’s very best “protest puddle”!
- E. V. Wyler -
I'm going to tell you something and I'll be quite plain.
I have a fifteen year old son who couldn't be potty trained.
I tried to potty train him but I wasn't able to succeed.
He still wears diapers because they're what he needs.
The kids make fun of him when he takes showers at school.
They laugh when they see his diapers, my son truly is a fool.
He's not even smart enough to change his diapers, his gym teacher and I have to do it.
Using protection on the night when he was conceived would've been wise but I blew it.
The situation is so embarrassing, what am I going to do?
I really hope and pray that other people aren't in my shoes.
Pet Port A Potty
I took a walk in the city today
to try to pass the time away.
Saw lots of people walking too
stepped right in a pile of doggy doo.
I thought for a moment just what could be done
to clean up the streets of doggie dung.
Maybe I'll invent something really super
even finer than a pooper scooper.
A port a potty for our four legged friends
on every street corner where every road bends.
Then I'll become famous for this awesome invention
at the monthly town meetings my name will be mentioned.
They'll throw a big party and dance in the streets
because never again will there be poop on our feet!
Written by Kathy J Parenteau
Potty Training
Today I tried to teach my son
How to use the potty, oh what a treat
He sat and sat and sat and sat
While I tapped my feet
After what seemed like an hour
Finally I gave in
And placed a diaper on his butt
As my patience ran too thin
Then within a few seconds
I smelled a familiar smell
Though it was one I recognized
Still it smelled quite foul
Oh Christian, what have you done?
Why didn’t you use the potty?
To trick your daddy like you did
Really is quite naughty
So very quickly I laid him down
Changed him, and threw it in the trash
Gently put on some powder
So he doesn’t get a rash
Then once again I sat him down
On his brand new potty
And after he sat and sat and sat
I wondered who was the smarty?
Today I tried to teach my son
How to use the potty, oh what a mistake
He sat and sat and sat and sat
How much more of this can I take?
(oh the memories)
Hippy was a potty moose
Read three books by Dr Seuss
One about a Cat
One about a Hat
One about Horton on the loose
feeling holy every time i sit on the ring of the toilet
labeled church for every one to see
my soul is less than clean as I lower the lid
to read the brand of the unit
porker I flush.
and if in a hurry Tito will do the job
as american standard is occupied.
A standard toilet paper roll
Has shrunk two inches from its goal
Since all we need
Is just pure greed
And one old-fashioned finger bowl
those flying f-bombs
a thinking impediment
some speech sediment
On a high school track there has been found
Some human feces on the ground
And more than once had Nature called;
A camera therefore was installed.
Was it a prank or would it show
A jogger who just had to go?
The fact that it was left to find
Implied there was an axe to grind.
Today the perp at last was caught
And everybody was distraught.
It was no kid who had a grudge
But the district head who they must judge.
His reasons haven't been revealed
For leaving poo out on that field,
But I would guess as of today
That he has flushed his job away.
Let it flow, let it flow
Only when you have to go
Every moment of the day it is the right time
Don't forget to do your dance
Just before you wet your pants
And quit drinking that lemon-lime!
I'm sick of having to wait
You lock the door every single day!
I pound and I pound
You never hear the sound....
hurry up! And let me be,
I only just got to pee!
Let it flow, let it flow
Hurry up I'm gonna blow
Right now, this is not the right time!
I begged you to let me be!
I only got to pee,
just go away,
you do not to see.
I'm sick of having to wait
You lock the door every single day!
I pound and I pound
You never hear the sound.....
hurry up! And let me be,
I only just got to....pee...
I got to pee...let me pee!
Time for a birthday potty... err Party
For the one who writes a wee bit naughty
The birthday girl is Jan
She's sitting on the can
I think she might be farty... err forty!
potty train
small brain
to loo
till through
turn light
on bright
pee or poo?
one or two?
wee boy
has toy
great fun
small bum
wee kid
lift lid
on stool
hold tool
small wee
big pee
shower
power
aim, fire
no! higher!
whoops, missed
mom pissed
kid frown
sit down
boo hoo
no poo
big push
wipe tush
now flush
big gush!
old rule
close stool
small sink
succinct
faucets turn
don’t burn!
soap cup
wash up
scrubba dub
(not in tub)
rinse off
small scoff
towel dry
give a try
shutoff light
outta sight
repeat
so sweet
lesson learned
didies burned