Best Potty Poems

There’s a frog sitting on the potty going, “Rib-bit”.
Sitting down where I normally sit.
I am not sure why the frog came to visit,
But he’s sitting on the potty going, “Rib-bit.

There’s a cow sitting on the potty going, “Moo-moo”.
She’s sitting in the same place that I...

Continue reading...

The Congress it seems had no bathrooms.
They just held it or country was doomed.
They passed regulations
for eliminations
then out of both their chambers they zoomed....

Continue reading...

Naughty Potty Pavarotti



There was a young man named Pavarotti
His parents thought he was rather naughty
Because he sang tenor
He could not draw banger
For his mom made him sit on the potty.


Written: 5/10/15
Theresa


At the time I wrote this I was going to enter it into a contest
but...

Continue reading...

Potty Parity

I sadly think when I have to go badly
that perhaps it’s petty, but were I a man
then I would already be in the can!
When Freud enjoyed his heavy levy
that women have toyed with “***** envy”,
maybe he meant these frequent lines we resent!
If annoyed women...

Continue reading...

I'm going to tell you something and I'll be quite plain.
I have a fifteen year old son who couldn't be potty trained.
I tried to potty train him but I wasn't able to succeed.
He still wears diapers because they're what he needs.
The kids make fun of...

Continue reading...

Pet Port A Potty

I took a walk in the city today
to try to pass the time away.
Saw lots of people walking too
stepped right in a pile of doggy doo.
I thought for a moment just what could be done
to clean up the streets of doggie dung.
Maybe...

Continue reading...

Potty Training

Today I tried to teach my son
How to use the potty, oh what a treat
He sat and sat and sat and sat
While I tapped my feet

After what seemed like an hour
Finally I gave in
And placed a diaper on his butt
As my patience ran too...

Continue reading...

Hippy was a potty moose
Read three books by Dr Seuss
One about a Cat
One about a Hat
One about Horton on the loose...

Continue reading...

feeling holy every time i sit on the ring of the toilet 
labeled church for every one to see
my soul is less than clean as I lower the lid
to read the brand of the unit
porker I flush.
and if in a hurry Tito will do the...

Continue reading...

A standard toilet paper roll
Has shrunk two inches from its goal
Since all we need
Is just pure greed
And one old-fashioned finger bowl...

Continue reading...

On a high school track there has been found
Some human feces on the ground
And more than once had Nature called;
A camera therefore was installed.

Was it a prank or would it show
A jogger who just had to go?
The fact that it was left to find 
Implied...

Continue reading...

potty train
small brain

to loo
till through

turn light
on bright

pee or poo?
one or two?

wee boy
has toy

great fun
small bum 

wee kid
lift lid

on stool 
hold tool

small wee
big pee

shower
power

aim, fire
no! higher!

whoops, missed
mom pissed

kid frown
sit down

boo hoo
no poo

big push
wipe tush

now flush
big gush!

old rule
close stool

small sink
succinct

faucets turn
don’t burn!

soap cup
wash up

scrubba dub
(not in tub)

rinse...

Continue reading...

those flying f-bombs
a thinking impediment
some speech sediment...

Continue reading...

Let it flow, let it flow
Only when you have to go
Every moment of the day it is the right time
Don't forget to do your dance
Just before you wet your pants
And quit drinking that lemon-lime!

I'm sick of having to wait
You lock the door every single day!
I...

Continue reading...

Sometimes it just feels better to be a ****,
               instead of the toilet paper......

Continue reading...