Best Poopers Poems
Let me try to fill you all in on the scoop
There are some poets that write like they poop
Though most are out there
You must be aware
There are some poopers that stink up the soup
To all the poopers that stink up the soup
I'll say this to keep you into the loop
You too... be aware
There are poets- here
That will try to poop you out of our group
And if you do get pooped out of our group
Go somewhere else to spread out your goop
So, you and your sack
Must never come back...
to write your poopy in PoetrySoup
I'll try to tell you without my usual cant
that all I wanted was to go sailing with
Sherry Saturday morning but I can't!
My hovercraft is full of eels!
The watchman phoned when I was lying
in bed to notify me of this.
I was shocked to find he wasn't lying!
My hovercraft is full of eels!
My good-will has been weakened
because of this horrid event
which completely ruined my weekend.
My hovercraft is full of eels!
These morbid creatures are serious
party-poopers. Remember!: Their
electricity is deleterious.
My hovercraft is full of eels!
My beloved Birthday present invaded by
these heinous monsters! I will have to buy
a new one 'cause to this one I must say bye!
My hovercraft is full of eels!
Ghastly! You don't know how this feels!
My hovercraft is full of eels!
So, who says it takes ten years to become a poet?
I’ve read incredible lines from second graders --
Some may write for sixty years, you’d never know it
For all some have become are mediocre shaders!
Do you consider it “good” poetry to criticize others
When you’ve not developed a modicum of expertise?
Your propensity for negative thoughts only smothers
While most Poetry-Soupers skills steadily increase.
So, be careful how you turn your venom on Soupers
Whose work is far superior to what you are showing
Open your Comments for those you call “poopers”
And we’ll share our true thoughts, not so glowing!
I hope when you read this poem, you do take offense*
For we are tired of being the butt of your nasty intents.
#55 on Best New Poems List
Written November 29, 2021
*for your information, this is a classical form put
to good use, in this case, since you criticized us
for using classical forms!
I've roamed the halls of Poetry Soup for nearly nine years
and had lots of ups and downs, cried happy and sad tears
Some poets are super duper people that I call my 'friends'
There are some snoopers who have need to make amends
Soupers are a varied lot from different backgrounds in life
But never should there be reason for enmity, vitriol or strife
I've laughed at humorous scribblings of many bawdy limericks
Shook my head at rude comments that have caused conflicts
Those few are in the ranks of poets I call 'the party poopers'
And there are some who enjoy interfering ~ 'the bloopers'
They spread rumors that cause chaos in the soup kitchen
The site would be much better if they would stop b****in'
I cannot claim my innocence for I've battled a time or thrice
When bullies and trolls have said things that weren't very nice
I've been called a 'mean girl' but it's a name I take in stride
Bet money on it being said again and I'll say, "Let it Ride!"
I've written for other poetry sites, but I remain in the Soup
and if you question why I've returned, well, here's the scoop...
There are fantastic men and women here that I have met
who are sincerely kindhearted. I owe them gratitude as a debt
I prefer to ignore those who cast aspersions with a snicker
But like most kinfolk, there will be times when we bicker
As a community of artists, we are writers of poetic verse
with a common interest shared across the entire universe
We should strive to be united with the same goal in mind
'Respect each other as Poetry Soupers and remain aligned'
Positive comments are encouraging. Ladle them and you'll see
That supporting Super Soupers will keep the site hassle free
Chef Whipple aimed to be among super-dupers.
He was invited to fix soup for round-ball hoopers.
He put in prunes by the box
then added another for lots.
Soon all the players turned into party-poopers.
Winn Dixie Florida
Happily filling up my grocery cart I thought I heard snickers.
"Hershey's Kisses and Fruit Loops are smooching,” said Almond Slivers.
Piña-colada razzed Star Crunch, “Let's fight you chicken liver."
Energizer batteries cheered, “Smack him, Star! Give him the shivers.”
Oatmeal started crying. “Cheer up,” said the salt and pepper shakers,
“Fighting is for: snappers, snipers, snoopers, and party-poopers".
“P-a-r-t-y!” shouted Star, forgiving Piña-colada, one super market smoothie.
Heavenly Hash chilled and Luvs laid back dreaming sweet-tart pleasantries.
© August 9, 2010
Dane Ann Smith-Johnsen
NOTE: PRODUCTS USED AS NAMES ARE CAPITALIZED.
Pompous city dwellers,
pretentious rock doves now
parade around like a
popinjay or fancy
peacock, and yet, they're not
persnickety poopers:
pooping on everything.
Auf Wiedersehn
Well here at last it's party time,in shorts and dirndl dress.
Excitedly we travelled to the fest, a night of pleasure lay ahead.
We knew from past experience, don't quaff, just savour beers.
Imbibing Munichs drinks too fast, could mar the atmosphere.
Laughter brings bonhomie, as old and new friends speak.
Let's raise our beer steins in a toast.for now the show begins.
People waving, singing loudly, while rocking to the beat.
And all around the milling crowds, now dancing in the streets.
Revelry with devilry, as young boys whistle, girls in short skirts coyly blushing.
Talking heads surround our table, animated arms translating.
Yesterday a bunch of strangers, today as friends sharing together.
Listen to the sound of lilting voices, melodies from different tongues.
Inviting us each night to join them, mixing beers and singing songs.
Kindred spirits everyone, together dancing on the benches.
Enjoying each and every moment, with an ice cold stein of beer.
Trying tasty tendeloin of pork, delicious with sweet mustard crust.
Ham wrapped-figs and hazelnuts, with drinks of cool spring bottled water.
Each time the band strikes up-Ein Prosit, all and sundry stands to toast.
Rebel rousing, crowds carousing, dancers dirndl skirts are swirling.
Entertaining energetic, party poopers paralytic.
Stomping feet and clapping hands, embarrassing each waitress serving beer.
No one even seems to care,they carry on with gay abandon.
Overacting then distracting, when outside and breathe fresh air.
Time to eat potato pancakes,refreshed by water keeping sober.
Once more, let's party, here we go, prancing to an oom-pah band.
Musicians wearing lederhosen, people stomping feet and slapping thighs.
Oktober Fest in frenzied celebration, cavorting couples holding hands.
Running wildly round each table, urging all to take the floor.
Rejuvenated, rock and rollers, overcoming mixed emotions.
Once more before auf wiedersehn, let's dance the night away, and
We will party like there's no tomorrow.
11 / 5 / 2016.
Cave Kellers and Dig Wellers
David J Walker
Christians that go to hell
will have one
Hell of a story to tell
In the
Nick of time but no place to
Dwell among tent dwellers the
Cave kellers the dig
Wellers the rhyme
Travelers the street
Sellers and day
Sailors the night
Failures the pay
Traders the flesh
Peddlers the time
Piddlers the mind
Benders the fence
Minders the prime
Lenders the crime
Numbers the prince
Paupers the door
Stoppers the bargain
Shoppers the grass
Hoppers old teeny
Boppers and hogg
Sloppers with chart
Toppers and good
Coppers and hoola-
Hoopers and party
Poopers and hot
Peppers and self
Checkers and fat
Backers with back
Packers of heart
Stoppers and flip
Floppers and hot
Flappers and splish
Splashers and party
Crashers and hot
es and bad
Bastards
Christians that go to hell
will have no one to blame
in the hottest of flame
But one hell of a story
to tell
Let's
not
go there-
politics
and/or religion.
Schiff picked up the phone receiver again:Pelosi, your idea's great! The pizzas paid off! The gofers all rolled back! And their hauptman Mutt Gaets vanished, purportedly calling for a press conference.
Pelosi: Uh, pizzas paid off? and pizzas packed off those pitiable party poopers?
Schiff: Ah! Yeah!~~~
Several minutes later, hearing out Schiff, well in relief, Pelosi responded: Sure enough, to a tee pizzas as rusty as stool hoopers suit rusty storm troopers. By the way, none of these guys intended importunate stay?
Schiff: A few die-hard (accurately no more than 3-4) did intend to hold their positions at first, but the successive departure of the vast majority and the hauptman's long disheartening absence dampened, depleted and finally ruined their effort to hunker down. Too long overstay will avail them nothing except mounting embarrassment.
Pelosi:Mutt Gaets, a bluffer who wanted to bluff out a blockbuster only to bluff bonanzas of bloopers out of himself and his spear-carriers. A limerick for these poopers:
Storm trooper in name, in action party poopers;
Pizzas like poops, the perfect pooper-scoopers.
Enjoying stuffs stale and stiff,
who cares watchdogs' snap and sniff?
Blockbuster busted, bucking up all its bloopers.
Schiff: AH Haha haha~~~~~~~
Pelosi:And now you can resume your hearing process, eh?
Schiff:Ah, yeah! We'd soon come back to business. Thank you, Pelosi! Pelosi:Ok! Good luck with your proceeding, also, safe and sound for all the hearing participants. Goodbye, Schiff!
Schiff: Bye-bye!
Deep into midafternoon, inside and all around the SCIF, calm and order restored. Schiff and his colleagues set to resume the deposition with Laura Cooper after a security check, though about five hours behind schedule.
Party
Pride has invited
All his buddies and colleagues
No party poopers
Relations are strained between nations as usual
Why can't we play nice like good little poopers
Stead of rattling our rattles
Preparing for battle
An age-old scenario where we all act juvenile
Here's something every new parent soon learns
A 4 year old asks 400 questions a day, their minds yearn
Craving to discover life's secrets
No holding back their keenness
Alright li'l poopers, youse got too much time to burn
We're not all Hollywood hunks much as we'd like to think
Some of us are simple down to earth dudes
With simple needs and desires, walking around in a daze
In a “wonder what the hell happened” mood
Before you can say “Oshkosh Begosh” you're muttering
“Has anyone here seen my damn uppers”?
Basically you're on the last lap, the end's closing in fast
Soon you'll be enjoying your last supper
But be of good spirits, even the most powerful succumb
Be happy with the contribution you've made
Then be of good heart and thankful for a life well lived
Keep smiling, you're still going poops without aid
We're not all Hollywood hunks in this big old world
Some of us are down to earth simple poopers
Satisfied getting through with only a few minor hassles
But we can always be joyous happy troupers