Best Pooh Pooh Poems
Woo the woman
Love the lady
Mellow the maiden
Manage the maid
Garnish the girl
Dazzle the damsel
Bar the bimbo
Latch the lass
Silence the siren
Moor the mermaid
Net the nymph
Madden the madam
Tame the tart
Court the courtesan
Nudge the nurse
Null the nun
Shun the spinster
Strap the stewardess
Venerate the virgin
Vex the vixen
Vacate the vamp
Curb the coquette
Con the concubine
Whack the whore
Whip the wench
Pooh-pooh the prostitute
Slam the ****
Harem the harlot
Screw the shrew
Dally with a divorcee
Eschew the enchantress
Wallop the witch
Garb Godiva
Jail Jezebel
Lambaste Lilith
Dump Delilah
Gore the Gorgons
Harness Hecuba
Xpunge Xanthippe
Wed the widow!
~03/08/2013
~Contest: Your Personal Favorite #2
~Sponsor: L Milton Hankins.
The cruelest of all villains lives on Mount Crumpit
for when it comes to Christmas, he says, "Dump it!"
He keeps trying to "Pooh pooh" that sacred holiday,
but so far everyone's efforts have kept him at bay.
Oh, he's a real mean one, that monster, Mr. Grinch
A devilish fiend that I would love to catch and lynch
I'd gladly dump his body in a cactus patch or ditch
if someone would tell me where he is. It's ok to snitch.
To celebrate Christmas, he has never been willin'
to let children enjoy the day. He needs to be chillin'
and stop trying to ruin the holiday when Santa comes,
and if he's a good grinch, he might get a set of drums.
He's big and he's a beast, bad-tempered to say the least
so, he's never been invited to join in a Christmas feast.
Oh, he's a vile one, that Mr. Grinch with flesh of green,
a supervillain without a heart, meanest of the mean!
He's such a grouch, wanting to commit the dirty deed
of stealing Christmas and that makes him a bad seed.
What an evil wretch to kidnap Santa and children's toys.
That's one of his sinister schemes and dastardly ploys.
If I can catch him sleeping before December rolls around,
I'll find a way to bring that thieving horrible creature down.
Oh, he's a mean one with a twisted soul, that Mr. Grinch.
Will you help me rid the world of him if I get into a pinch?
September 4, 2022
Superhero or Supervillain Contest
Sponsor: Robert James Liguori
Hey, Scott Pruitt!*
We all knew it
Soon would come to this.
Rumors flew; it
Seemed you blew it.
Truth you would dismiss.
Anger’d brew; it
Looked like, “Screw it!”
Were the words you’d hiss.
You’d pooh-pooh it
As on view it
Seemed you were amiss.
How’d you do it?
Breeze right through it,
Seemingly in bliss?
Well, Scott Pruitt,
Now boo-hoo it!
You we will not miss!
*Trump’s head of the EPA
The nit-wit and the nincompoop
cordially bowed on the concert hall stoop.
Greeting the doorman, quite gaily
who nodded back, though more grayly.
And nobody dared to complain or bemoan
that fools were ruling the cobblestone
streets, where urchins peddled faux-wares
beneath the stoop, out in the square.
And the nit-wit offered a hearty wave,
but clearly knew not how to behave
While the nincompoop seemed a tad more at ease,
his pants were quite low and his crack in the breeze.
And nobody wanted to ask or inquire
whether they should pooh-pooh or if they should admire
buffoons, so clueless, off-putting and addled
for climbing the stairs in their outfits all raddled.
Yet, there they stood with their tickets in hand
eager to root for the symphonic band
as though it were some highfalutin sport
of which they knew nothing, but they would not abort
the notion that they have a place 'bove the masses
or anywhere other than out on their...well, you know.
10/27/16
:) :-)
Wear a smile all day,
smile away the day
and watch the effect
you pass around
It might just cheer up the not
so gay
and happiness may then
abound.
And don't you look your best
when you do smile
No wonder you're asked to say
'cheese' for a photo
but the trick is to wear it all
the while
'To smile without distinction'
be thy motto.:)
When someone creases their
forehead into a frown
You curve your lips upward
into a smile
Don't let their scowl get you
down
They,d be the one to look the
clown
while you show off your
inspiring style.
If people stare 'n' glare at you
Return their glares and stares
with a grinning smile
Keep smiling whether they boo
or pooh pooh
They might just reset their
mental file.
Thus forever flash your
pearlywhites
They aren't meant merely for
chow and bites.
A crescent shaped smiley on
the face
Flash em' into a smile that
lights
exploring your own facial
expression delights.:)
You can never fool this mangy old dude
A wise old owl you should never pooh pooh
Can recite the alphabet
Backwards no sweat
Standing in line at MacDonald's totally nude
© Jack Ellison 2016
You little ant, you are little ant!!!
W’ere are you going?
From were are going
From Egypt to promise desert land
From sun getting up to it sleeping.
Did thou maternal know you going
Little ant, little pomegranate ant.
Did povternal thou son you land
Thou to toil, through to gartherd
To and fro without king and command
Thou condence, even the desertly
If the moon manage you with willy willy?
Who will see your conduit really?
Laddie who will protect in littoral
Come use land soil, you lived
You eye chad magpie, you obey command
Little ant, little ant, why land
Come back to soil, you belong
Little ant let’s build land
Thou we constrocting, it will maisonettle
Pooh, pooh your head, magpie long
Soon you are drag back to land
Theme:
(1) Courage for doing something to your country
(2) Preservation to do something good
(3) Building the Nation
(4) Unity in building the nation
Note
The poem is 25 line which has 4 stanza and
You can never fool this mangy old dude
A wise old owl you should never pooh pooh
Can recite the alphabet
Backwards no sweat
While standing in line at MacDonald's quite nude
You little ant, you are little ant!!!
W’ere are you going?
From were are going
From Egypt to promise desert land
From sun getting up to it sleeping.
Did thou maternal know you going
Little ant, little pomegranate ant.
Did povternal thou son you land
Thou to toil, through to gartherd
To and fro without king and command
Thou condence, even the desertly
If the moon manage you with willy willy?
Who will see your conduit really?
Laddie who will protect in littoral
Come use land soil, you lived
You eye chad magpie, you obey command
Little ant, little ant, why land
Come back to soil, you belong
Little ant let’s build land
Thou we constrocting, it will maisonettle
Pooh, pooh your head, magpie long
Soon you are drag back to land
Theme:
(1) Courage for doing something to your country
(2) Preservation to do something good
(3) Building the Nation
(4) Unity in building the nation
Note
The poem is 25 line which has 4 stanza and
You can never fool this mangy old dude
A wise old owl you should never pooh pooh
Can recite the alphabet
Backwards no sweat
While standing in line at MacDonald's totally nude
Ripples ladened with slow songs
are the blinks of your sleepy eyelashes
lashing me for sold innocence
and for feeding dreams with the putrid meat of wrongs.
The past is beautiful in your eyes child
when tears wasn't ink to seal hate
and all these dainty pooh-pooh of pride
Was nothing, if it wasn't chocolate.
How you sought magic leaving my room cluttered
while you chuckled at the sight of it with puerile lens.
I regret all your unicorns I butchered
when I filled your head with realism and science.
As you sleep after bedtime tale
I will kiss your bruised temple
and oil your hair with the vial of alabaster
broken from a guilty heart.
I'll cut the awe of you into letters
to weave a vast verse
studded with adventure and magic
and new lullabies cherubic.
I’ve never tasted Spam before
And don’t intend to do it,
Although, unless I try, I know
That I should not pooh-pooh it.
I wouldn’t even think of Spam,
The food that I am scorning,
If not for getting, on my phone,
A daily “Spam Risk” warning.
Some days it happens several times
From unfamiliar places,
Where spammers sit and make the calls
Behind their unseen faces.
I never answer if I see
That “Spam Risk” message blinking,
But just that word, you understand,
Provokes me into thinking.
Imagine on the other end,
A scammer with his planned pitch
Making calls all day while chomping
On his favorite canned Spam sandwich!
If every snowflake’s different,
Which is what I’ve always heard,
Then their patterns, if you counted,
Would have numbers quite absurd.
So it wouldn’t be impossible,
In theory, if we say
That, like twins or triplets, some of them
Have matching DNA.
There is just no way to prove it
But I’ve always been a skeptic
Of that snowflake speculation
And I pooh-pooh the acceptic.
Miniature beginnings are the scaffolding to mightiness
Just a pinch of yeast puffs up the dough
And little stars still light up big skies
No matter where you are "on the totem poll",
whether you are midway, quarter way or bottom last
don't pooh-pooh small beginnings
The little leagues is your boot camp to the Big leagues
One word doesn't make a novel, but one word begins it
And from that lone scribble, everything else flows
A single rose stem doesn't make a bouquet, but from a seed
can bloom a rose garden
Doctor to hail for my not being down,
Close to thirty years for my breakdown:
My biggest catch through a brother mate,
Whose only word for him is first rate...
Now exchanging blows with Prostrate Gland:
A cancer of the treatable brand.
He says he'll live - Doctor Retired:
Wages unpaid had got him tired...
Great hopes New Government will this do.
I dared try to this notion pooh-pooh
Should this not be a race against time?
If my voice should sag now real big crime.
For him in Medicine would stick out neck
And this step translate into no wreck!