Best Pants Poems

I fooled the whole world for a number of years
The opposite sex...those gullible dears
A sexy slim body, and cute little butt
Had them acting like fools...behaving like nuts
But old Father Time had a plan for this figure
That cute little butt, well, it only got bigger
One life...

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can you imagine my disappointment...I believed her
...she might of been the one...that one woman 
that has eluded me my whole lifetime...but...
...she...she was...

she was just blowing smoke up my ass...

story of my life...it's just never right...so many frauds...
but her....well her I trusted...I was willing to try...but
well she...

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With my fishing vest and waders, and a found long wooden staff 
I walked along the jetty, on a rock-piled curvy path 
The day had grown to darkness, with no light there to be found 
When something unknown had startled me, when it made a...

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Thought it would be fun to write a cute little Smarty Pants poem.
I was crazy with excitement about it, laughing with happiness gore.
I was so happy about the idea, I figured it had been done before.

So I typed in Smarty Pants poem into my Google...

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Kamala said she has only worked for the American masses

She did work for Speaker Willie Brown as his mistress 

Even her husband loved his mistress 

So much he had her abort their fetus

She doesn’t support parent's rights 

She doesn’t support the police 

She doesn’t support...

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I went outside with stay-in pants
But no one even gave a glance
For masks on people just enhance
Invisibility.

Before this, when I wasn’t seen,
I thought such ignorance must mean
That younger folk just aren’t keen
On older ones like me.

I much prefer to blame the mask
Than taking those with...

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We are all going to wear khaki pants to the parade.
What’s khaki? I ask, knowing, but wanting to see his reaction.
He is new, and I love to toy with the new guy.
“You know,” he says, “Um, tan, plain, dull, plain, tan.”
“I don’t have any pants...

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they  go and  down
some big and around
some 
fall as you dance
its these
thing call
PANTS...

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Put on my pants 
Let out a giggle 
Do a little prance 
Do a little wiggle
Up down 
Dance around
Wiggle tickle 
Wear a frown
Stop the dance 
Remove the pants
Take a stance 
Kill the ants...

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Spongebob
                                            ...

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Written on May 17, 2012
Updated on April 17, 2017

Mr. Phiburn, a man who had tried
To live not by the truth, but all lies
No surprise where he went
For him, eternity was spent
Wearing pants that were
Very well fried.

Inspired by: “Liar, liar pants on fire”...

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As soon as I convince myself that food is not my friend
This one-sided relationship will all come to an end

Each day when I arise I pledge an archetypal goal
To overcome the food addition pulling on my soul

But as the day goes forward, problems start to...

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A fisherman sat with line all lank
perched on crooked stool that soon sank
backside now all mud covered
his face an embarrassed red
off home he went with his pants all dank.

11/13/2014

contest: limericks clean and clever...

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Billy was ten and building a rocket.
He claimed no one his age could top it.
The day came for the firing
But a blunder in the wiring
Made it end up in Billy’s pants pocket....

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When Dragon communed with nature, all the pigeons came home with him.
And from our daily feeding of wild birdseed, they decided to take their fill.
Unfortunately, they did discover, they liked it, a little bit, way too much!
So they moved onto our wires and trees, completely...

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