Best Funnyworld Poems
I fooled the whole world for a number of years
The opposite sex...those gullible dears
A sexy slim body, and cute little butt
Had them acting like fools...behaving like nuts
But old Father Time had a plan for this figure
That cute little butt, well, it only got bigger
One life changing morning my pants wouldn't fit
No pulling or tugging got them over my hips
Denial, denial, surely they've shrunk
This simply can't be...Lord, tell me I'm drunk!
The lesson I've learned will last me forever
The world you might fool, but your skinny pants, Never!!
To be a Cubs fan is to be
the audience of a Greek Tragedy
Sweet is the pain as we pay admission
To bow down in October submission
Leaving bitter taste through the winter
Clinging to the lofty dreams of a winner
Commiserate and complain in the offseason
Some even threaten Southside treason
But like clockwork we rally as April draws near
Swearing as always "This is our year"!!!
Brandishing hoodies, jerseys, and lids
rushing to Wrigley, dragging the kids
Opening Day...the first pitch "Z" throws
goes for a strike as the OldStyle flows
"This year we will go all the way"!!!
Is the drunken refrain the bleacher bums say
In late May the Ivy fills in quite nicely
Yes, I know six bucks for OldStyle is pricey
But when in Rome, drink cheap beer with foam
Or sip a Bass while tuning in Ron Santo at home
You don't need to drink beer to watch them play
But on some occasions it buffers the pain
No matter the result... Ill hold my head high
It makes my day to see the "W" flag fly
As this season will mark year one hundred and one
Since our last World title was won
Lets forget about goat curses and Bartman blame
get out on the field and play the damn game
I will never give up, I will never give in
I won't lose hope on a World Series win
GO CUBBIES!!!!!!
Ssshhhhhhhh, Don’t………….tell…………..anyone
I found a lamp with a jeanie and I’m gonna have fun
Mmmmmmmmm three wishes, what will they be?
I know eliminate wars, pain and suffering from humankind
No wait I’ll have every boot in the world kick my boss’s behind
Oooooooor a Porsche no Lamborghini
Surrounded by plump women, I hate them skinny
Aaaaaaand uuumm? To rule the world and have all the money
Be the a comedian and people will die laughing cause ill be really funny
No I got it, be able to go anywhere in the universe
Or never die so I don’t have to ride in a hearse
I don’t know, a wife that doesn’t cause me heart ache and pain?
No I have one, my imaginary friend Glen’s sister Jane
Uuuuuh man! Ok two beers, one for you and one for me
And another Jeanie cause I know I'll mess up the first 3 wishes you see
* I dream of Jeanie contest*
What is it like?
I don’t remember.
It has been a long time
A moment of quietly being alone
No little kids voices screaming for a hot dog
The phone doesn’t ring
Music playing on a stereo in the next room
Mozart filling the empty space
Notes and chords
Reeds, brass and percussion
Playing a symphony of relaxing tones
But not a single word to be heard
Could this moment ever really exist?
Maybe in today’s world it is merely a fantasy
There will always be a child
An annoying phone call
Something…anything
That will disrupt the quiet I am searching for
In my dreams I may finally find it
A world of total quiet, total relaxation
No screaming kids
No phone calls
The only cursed interruption
When the sun rises
That damn bell rings
The little kids yell
The phone rings
And the real world starts all over again