Best Olay Poems

Hungry in France

Garçon, garçon
bring hot soupçon 
bouillabaisse accent egu. 
Qu'est-ce que c’est, qu’est-ce que c’est?  
Sounds like I’m un peu coucou.

Sacrebleu, Sacrebleu 
what can I do? 
In French all I learned to say
was frère Jacques frère Jacques
and café au lait, olay!

Starving; I am starving;
I’m...

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Oh the joys of an airport trolley
I try and push it oh what a folly
The wheels always have a life of their own
I’ve not got off the ground I just want to go home

I want it to go left but it goes off to the...

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At the first piece of twilight 
the night's fleece goes astray.
Nebulous clusters of unwhite 
destines into mass decay.
And to the chorus of birds on height:
Welcome, oh sweet break of day!
Then the dwindling songs of coyotes goes finite
cause it's morning turn to say: Olay, Olay!...

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Long, slim, chocolate, and divine
Most men, and even some women pine... feign over this birthday suit of mine
Smooth layers with no assistance from oil of olay
I sport my suit proudly as if everyday were my birthday
My scars add character and tell my story
My birthday suit...

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hey man, your words smell like tuna fish
your rhymes are ludicrous
and I have a wish
you on vacation would be my bliss
your shirt is wearing spagetti
did you dine in the serengeti
oh yeah ha ha  just call me ever ready
my words will make you sink and...

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A well-groomed matador José
Liked to moisturize with Oil of Olay
His hands lost their grip
The cape it did slip
He was gored as he cried out "¡Olé!"...

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Inspired by and sung to "The Whip It" tune by Devo.

CRACK that old age whip
Give it a pink slip,
Step on an elliptical,
Old age shouldn't have come this quick!

Now whip your bod,
into shape,
tone it up,
its not too late,
to whip it,
and slim it up good...

When old age...

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in a praved courtyard
                                    soulituded ment needs for braging
a wonders...

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There’s a chemical factory upon my face
I have lines and spots I need to erase
I mix elixirs and daily apply
The aging process I cannot deny

I have marks and wrinkles and sagging skin
The lines increase and I can’t seem to win
Freckles increase and begin to align
Like...

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Year after year I am deeply depressed,
I'm highly educated and I'm well dressed.
I live from highest peak to another peak,
Celebrate them every time with chick and sleek.

Wonder, what is it that happens in between? 
Mere dull existence and clumsiness akin
To the awfully obese Americans...
In Cuba...

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A lithe performer with Cirque d’Soliel
First much oiled herself with Oil of Olay,
Then practiced her intense high wire plie
While clad only in a grand floral lei.
Her act was a graceful mid-air ballet
After, she rode off in a silver sleigh
Driven by a group of leprechaun fey
Audiences...

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What that woman needs:
 a top, 
spinning, 
without a mons seat center-
goddess ,no one knows- 
he him , 
hiker]make flared nostril breeze 
in some [how?!] now drunk nose.- 
next day [Ray] sit tug wrapper ,
i t was wrapped], it was wrapped before
bring knife oil, -...

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Don't know if “delicious” can describe today
Another I can think of is perhaps “yee-haw, olay!”
Ye ole sun's shining brightly
I tip my hat politely
Sounds like I'm from the dark ages when gentlemen were gay?...

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Our family is all about smells.
When Old Spice clogs our senses
My father is visiting.
Sometimes I get a glimpse of him too,
Out of the corner of my eye.
He has been gone for eight years.

When my mother-in-law visits it is 
Oil of Olay, and more than plenty...

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At night I slather on my face
An anti-wrinkle cream
So it can make me youthful
While I toss and turn and dream.

Of course it doesn't work and yet,
This ritual remains,
With just the manufacturer 
To really make some gains.

Surprisingly, I saw an ad 
(Full-page, The New York Times)
That...

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