Best Nose Poems
Rudolph the reindeer has a big red nose
And it shines so bright wherever he goes
Well, it’s not real; it's a halogen light
That Santa Claus switches on at night.
"So, what's the history?" I hear you say
Well concerns were raised by the C.A.A.
Because one dark night Santa fell asleep
And he failed to hear the warning beep.
A large jet was heading for Santa's sleigh
He woke up in time and got out the way
A witness down below; on oath he swore
Said he'd never seen a man so drunk before.
But at first, he thought it was a U. F. O.
Until he heard swearing and ho ho ho
So, a law was passed that anyone in flight
Display a red light when flying at night.
They let Santa off with a fine and a warning
And banned alcohol 'till Christmas morning
He kept his pilot's license on one condition
That he displays a red light on every mission.
He went to his local store to buy a light
And found one that was red and bright
Asked the elves as to where it should go
And they all agreed at the front on show.
They fitted it first on Rudolph's big head
But it blinded Santa with its dazzling red
They put it on his nose; it looked just right
And glows bright red in the dark of night.
Rudolph asked “ Well, what's in it for me? "
'Cos, he felt silly, but would wear for a fee
So, a big bonus he gets with extra pay
Plus, the finest grass on Christmas day.
(In the UK the C.A.A. Is the Civil Aviation Authority.)
Written on 12 December 2023
I came across this old poem from my back pages and gave it an overhaul.
Rudolph the reindeer has a red nose
Now why is that do you suppose?
Well it’s not real, it is a red light
That Santa switches on at night.
So what's the history I hear you say
Well concerns were raised by the F.A.A.
Because one night Santa fell asleep
And didn't hear the warning beep.
A jet was heading for Santa's sleigh
Woke just in time and got out of the way
So a law was passed that anyone in flight
Display a light when flying at night.
In the official report that's what it said
But don't believe the news you're fed
The first witness and on oath he swore
Said a man so drunk he'd never seen before.
They let him off with a stern warning
And not to drink 'till Christmas morning
He kept his license on one condition
That he display a light on every mission.
Off shopping he went to buy a red light
Found one in a store 'twas big and bright
Spoke to the elves as to where it would go
They all agreed at the front on show.
They tried it first on Rudolph's head
But it dazzled Santa with its bright red
But on his nose it looked just right
And glows so brightly in the night.
Rudolph asked “what's in it for me"
Cos he felt silly, but would wear for a fee
So a bonus he gets and double pay
Plus extra rations on Christmas day.
Written on 6th December 2018.
Is this just a curse that follows me around?
For I’m only five years old, three feet off the ground,
Playing inside or out, I get the sniffles bad,
I wish this was a nose I never had!
I sniffle all day, as the green slime grows,
Where it comes from? Nobody knows.
I wipe the snot on my right shirt sleeve,
It gives me somewhat of a temporary reprieve.
My mum wipes my nose with a man size tissue,
Pinching my nose hard, as if it’s a big issue.
‘Now play outside and be sure to wipe your nose!’
She says as the snot continually grows!
The slime forms on my lip, it’s sweet to taste,
Best that I lick it off, shouldn’t go to waste.
Will I ever get rid of this horrible grime?
Or will I always be saddled with this yucky slime.
With
summer
breeze gently
blowing, its blue
wings flutter, as it dances in the air
trying to find the perfect landing spot
the cat never
knew it would
be its
nose!
9-13-2020
Double Tetractys 2 Poetry Contest
Sponsor: Eve Roper
Photo 3
I think I saw one
I move a little closer
there’s another one
nose hair can be disgusting
Nikko should I pull them out?
*Nikko's body part
of choice nose hair lol*
Though
My
Nose,
Small
And
Not
Well
Formed,
Still
I like it
For I
Can
Smell
You,
Very
Lovely
Scent-
Your
Poetry,
Perfume
For my soul!
Santa's red cap is turning blue
his nose running with Christmas flu
and the Doctor's advice
was "it will be nice,
wrap the gifts with natural glue."
The nose he wears sits on his head
It's big and round and very red;
And in the dark it always glows
It must be awful to own that nose.
There's two dark holes filled with hair
With whatever else that's hidden there;
Each time I see with great surprise
That glow that sits between his eyes.
It shines as though when night meets day
There never could be another way;
I wonder too if he can tell
If red affects his sense of smell.
Perhaps the problem is I think
He's had in time too much to drink;
I suggested then to paint it white
And he seemed to think this was alright.
For Frank Herrera's Zaniest Poetry Contest
Elizabeth Wesley
She sits in her garden surrounded by love
amongst glorious creatures sent from heaven above
the birds in the air that sing a sweet song
bring a feeling she's wanted, that she does belong
the butterflies are dancing in the warm autumn light
kissing the sun rays in the midst of their flight
the wind on her cheek is holding her near
soothing her troubles, her worries, her fears
she bends down to take in the scent of a rose
the soft smell of beauty tickles her nose
entranced in the moment, she sits there and smiles
forgetting the world, if just for a while
Sue found an impossible task,
To ‘excavate’ wearing her mask,
Now Sue cannot linger,
With her little finger,
To abstain has been a big ask
Since childhood Sue’s ‘explored ‘her nose,
Her secret’s one nobody knows,
Sue’s now stopped the picking,
The licking and flicking,
It’s down to covid I suppose.
10/31/21
A snowman stands outside in the snow
But no nose has the snowman to show
Now the snowman can't sneeze
So the snowman says please
"Give a snowman a nose he can blow!"
1-9-19
Same Word Winter Limerick Contest
Sponsor: Charles Messina
The nose knows
A sight to make tired eyes blink
Skunks walking away from another’s stink
A simple fact not known too well
With one end they stink, the other they smell
A simpler fact that not everyone knows
One end’s the tail the other the nose
The stink they exude
Can be sexy, or rude
A scent that says buddy, I’m ovulating
The difference between just dating….or mating
So, if you inhale a whiff of their scent
Be sure to assess for whom it was meant
For they do not have the blue lit I-phones
They simply respond to unfurled pheromones
though they lack the talent to warble and croon
they do have the scent to make others swoon
while leaving a trail of their pungent perfume
they make quite an entrance when leaving a room.
John G. Lawless
©7/27/2021
A Chinese professor from Bowes
used chopsticks when picking his nose
He’s down on his luck
one chopstick got stuck -
he’s skipping his lunch I suppose!
N/A in a A Succinct Treat Contest Judged on 12/20/18
10/30/18
turned quick nose to nose
comfort felt in knowing kiss
lovely your surprise
Today's highlight
on the dog's terms
The snow that has come,
is soft and fluffy
Explore,
sniff fresh adventures
Roll around,
admire the world upside down,
eat some snow,
smell a trail,
listen and bark
do decisions
All dogs have intrinsic value
and are allowed to be dogs
Although the snow turns yellow
when they are peeing