Best News To Me Poems
I got a phone call from the police
saying I was dead
That was news to me,
getting shot four times in the head
Within the hour the rumor had spread,
hey, did you hear about Fred
They thought Freddie was dead,
Freddie was dead
DOA was what the police report said
They thought Freddie was dead,
Freddie was dead
DOA was what the news report said
I hope you never lose your driver's license,
the one without the photo ID
A criminal could become you, technically
Mistaken identity
can give you and your family
a whole lot of stress
A causeless calamity
is something we can all agree
creates an awful mess
So if you ever get a wrong phone call,
telling you that you died that day
Missing your own funeral is perfectly okay
On the subject of an unusual protest in Croydon on Thursday...
I woke up this morning
And had a bright idea
I’ll glue my **** to Debenhams
When I’ve had some beer
Then I’ll give the public
A big piece of my mind
Stick Dennis on my Menace
On the front of my behind
There’s nothing on the telly
And I like to have a shout
I’m the Talent Britain’s Got
Check my beaver out
Nothing much to see here
That’s big news to me
I’m the bargain of the day
Take me home for free
I met that Westwood woman once
I win hands down for style
Talk about the ex factor
I took the bloke on Kyle
Last week I did Poundland
I’m simply effing class
I’m the prat who with a Pritt Stick
Glued a window to her ****
by Gail
Kobey is a Diamond, who despite his verbal trials
Got taken to a courthouse, for he baulked at dingos wiles
He lost his rag, he'd grabbed his phone; he swore he'd
Had enough, he rolloked the state premier; said life was
Tough enough, he e-ffed at him and made a din, said
Lockdown was a joke, I think he wished 'old dingo' on
His mandates bill would choke?then he brought his mother
Into things which got the judge quite riled.. So he gave
Kobry a lecture; as one might with a child he'd have to
Write an apology.. Say sorry and other lies, I wouldn't
Worry Kobey, that's just typical courthouse style, dingo's
At it every day, He's just like a machine, much more
Than once in a in a while' till he got that quarrantine
He' d Hold on tight; treat em mean and keep em keen.'
Just like in bdsm, they wear a mask; you set the tasks
And if they're good? they can come up for air a'gin '
So looking on things Kobey, I don't rate you a threat.'
Yet I really the do take issue, with the way that you were treat
You fronted up that liar; you opened up the truth
You,'re found to be an asset, though they were so uncouth..
Another aspect to you, is your discerning streak
You know the score, and damage caused in only two short
Weeks.?? Then as far as freedom goes, I see you're a true lover!
Also it's great news to me; that 'old dingo even, has a mother.?
The Doubter Me?
by Terry Cooper
The Doubter Me?
Here stands one who doubts!
Even though I know the goodness of man,
and of course the other side of humanity.
Though I somehow know God is there for me,
I am never-the-less driven to question a future……
I believe beyond the screen of smoke and mirrors,
there is a heaven we will all share-in eventually.
Tis just that approaching hurdle of indistinction….
Receding, approaching, receding once again….
Teasing us into submission, preparing our way.
I sometimes struggle physically, fighting for breath…
When feeling close to something final, mind reaching
out for a shred, a glimmer of a well-trodden pathway…
Perhaps a hand, a light at the end of a tunnel…
Not yet eh Lord? I smile and patiently resolve to recover.
After a while, warm and comfortable in bed, I reflect
on my apparent frailty of mind, “not so” I reiterate.
It is the darned calls upon my sense of belief…
There is a weakness there after all! That is news to me!
The weakness is temporary, and will be dashed in due course!
Sent from Mail for Windows 10
by Terry Cooper
My spell check has trouble with indistinction….
That morning, I thought I was dreaming
I heard my Dad say it, but I thought my ears were playing tricks on me
I didn't expect for this to happen to you
Well, at least not this soon
My Dad and aunts said they saw it coming
But the news to me was shocking
Every other time, you always pulled through
But this time, you must have been tired and answered when God called you
It seemed unreal to me
Because I was so use to you coming home and recovering
That's why it took me by surprise
When she called and said that you died
I thought I would've been brave and not shed a tear
But seeing that casket made it a reality that you were no longer here
I couldn't hold back the tears that were falling from my eyes
Because it had finally hit me that we were about to say our good-byes
They had you dressed so pretty in your bone white dress
And you laid nice and peaceful in your white casket
You looked so wonderful laying in your final rest
Knowing that you're now in peace and quiet
I still can't believe that you're gone to this day
But you lived a good life and it was your time to go away
We didn't wanted to let you go on that Thursday
But we had to on the twenty-eighth
My eyes filled with tears as I wrote this
Because even though you're gone, my love for you still exists
From that Thursday to that Wednesday, your children reminisced
About the old days with you and how you will be missed
I hope and pray that my sister and I won't face losing our parents no time soon
Because I look at us and see how we cried and miss you
I tell my family that I love them every day and night
Because I never know when it's going to be one of our time
To Grandma Lillian E. Glover
December 25, 1930-November 22, 2007
Missed sadly by loved ones
He’s got plans to meet his friend,
And he’s putting things in his pockets, his wallet, his keys, a set of dice.
‘I can’t forget these dice’ he says to me.
‘I did not know you had a set of dice, that’s news to me.
But why on god’s green earth do you need that to go with you?’
‘Because, Mother, I am off to gamble with the homeless junkies in the wash.’
‘Ahhhh, what will you be gambling for?’
‘I have no idea, Mother, but they are definitely going to stab me to death for it.’
‘Well, be careful, honey, vaya con dios’ I say.
‘If I survive the night, it won’t be because I tried to.
Yes gambling is a very dangerous vice,’ he says as he walks out the door.
He’s back within the hour, they met for burgers and called it a night.
I wonder, how did my kid get so damn funny?
Ok I’m awake
It’s a new day
Presidents up to his same old ways
I don’t know how much Iraq war cries I can take
Please bring ‘um back the war was a big mistake
If Bush thinks he’s dreaming, First Lady please shake him wake him up
On the news all I see is corruption and destruction
Politics always bluffin’
Police always hand cuffin’
Funeral Homes making a big profit
Another John Doe
Gun now and days are like pens in peoples pockets
A dead girl or boy on their sibling’s pins or in lockets
Robberies cause people can’t get money
‘Welfare just isn’t enough for me”
Kids in Africa got diseases and they’re hungry
“AID’s took mommy and daddy from me”
Over there carving how many relatives they lost out in a tree
Innocent blood shed
In Iraq you got to make sure theirs not a bomb under your hotel bed
People supporting abortions
But throwing a babies out the window
It amazes me to see cruelty this harsh
Home of the free
Yes to show homosexuality on TV
Children growing up confused in this twisted world
Turned inside out outside in
Turning my stomach I think I’m getting sick again
Child molesters, Gay protesters
Everyone has their own thing going on
In this world something’s always going wrong
I tried to block it out, shut my mouth
When I thought about what happened down south
People were in wet circumstances
Took chances to stay
Houses, pets and families just washed away
People praying and hoping for a better day
When it happened I wish a big towel could fall from the sky
To soak up every tear that was cried
All these things are daily on the news turn your tv on and see
It might be news to you but
It’s no news to me
A flock of large birds
or a fleet of small small planes
is speeding towards me.
NO! It's worse--mosquitoes!
I failed to use repellent!
I grab my swatter.
They slap it away, laughing--
my baseball bat too.
I’ll need a tub of itch cream,
maybe a transfusion.
The females descend
to feast on me; the males watch,*
rendering support
with cheering and clapping.
Next time I’ll use spray with DEET.
*Male mosquitoes do not bite living things; they can only consume sugary
fluids and thus do not bite or suck the blood of humans or animals. This was news to me!
August 21, 2021
entered in the Buggy Tanka Contest
Sponsor: M.L. Kiser
Tears cannot stop flowing down my face,
You broke the news to me through the computer,
You didn’t even have the guts to say it to my face!
I said it would happen,
You promised it wouldn’t.
You try to tell me “nothing will change” !
But it always does,
Everyone knows it all changes.
I can’t do this anymore!
My heart is tired of your games!
Every other day is just another heartbreak,
The days between are filled with your lies to make me forgive you and patch up the holes.
This time was different though,
Before your betrayal came from one night stands and flings,
This time the betrayal is from your new relationship.
I said it would happen,
You promised it wouldn’t.
Well you cannot break my heart if it is not beating.
Alex you will always be the one,
Even when I'm dead and gone.
Where are you right now?
Cause you're no where in sight.
You said you'll always be around,
But you turned on me and lied.
Saying anything to cover your butt,
Even if it hurts me too.
I'm so tierd of this crap,
Tierd of trying to save you.
People said that you never cared,
But that was news to me.
When you really care for someone,
Your heart doesn't want to believe.
You haven't done anything at all,
Did absolutely nothing to ever proove.
To show me that they are wrong,
That your love and friendship is true.
So, you tossed me in the trash,
On a bed of garbage I cried.
You, oblivious to my pain,
Left me there to rott and die.
Do I not bleed? The words that you read, before you.
Do I not bleed? The blood that runs free, throughout me.
Can I not bleed? For not a scratch scathes the surface.
But deep down inside,
The things that we hide,
Are open.
My heart is bruised,
I know when I’ve been used,
And it’s not right.
Time goes on, like a soldier in the rain
You've been around the world and now you're going back again
Tell yourself that there's something more to gain
When you step into the fire you can never be the same
I know that you can feel the lick of the flame.
Do I not bleed? For something so real to me.
Do I not bleed? For the cause you are fighting for.
Can we not bleed? For the cold eyes do look south.
Winter closes in, around me.
When you get a cut, you have to let it heal,
If it does not, you’ve made infection real.
You can’t back down, not now, nor ever
You say your mind is sound, at peace
Well this is news to me.
We all keep secrets, we all have fears
It reduces us to tears.
You must keep strong, and before long,
I can stand on my own.
A Date With Expiration
Science says regarding life
We all must die sometime
All living things will cease to be
But History survives everything
Good for it. I hope it has many days
Like fruits and vegetables
And like milk stamped “Best used by”
It is news to me that humans now come
With expiration dates
Marked "Expired"
I wonder if my taxes were filed and paid
Before I pass away or at least retire
I hope I remembered to get laid
Or paid for all my efforts
Before my time runs out
That sudden insecurity that comes hand in hand with your silence,
That ever familiar silence,
The silence of you thinking of the easiest way to let me down...
And break my heart...
Again.
I think the marks I bare of last times disappointment,
Has made you more cautious of the way you break the news to me,
The news that you do not love me back.
Others may love me and I love them,
But you will ALWAYS be the one for me.
You will ALWAYS be the one that my heart belongs to,
You will ALWAYS be the one that can make me smile with one touch,
You will ALWAYS be the one that make me crumble with one word.
You cast a spell on me,
Now I cannot stop loving you,
I’ve tried and tried but one way or another I always end up wishing you were mine.
When you’re here I am oblivious to the cold, I feel warm.
When you are around, I am oblivious to the raging storm.
It just makes a nice ambiance for us to snuggle you see.
It doesn’t matter if you burn the toast, it tastes good to me.
Some overnight visitors have tactfully told me you snore.
This is news to me, my darling I am oblivious once more.
When you fail to offer help when I am quite snowed under,
I never seem to mind, don’t care, I keep my thoughts asunder.
Grass so long, as one walks through it, may be afraid of snakes.
But I am oblivious to the little amount of effort mowing takes.
Also oblivious to the state of our car when I take it for a drive.
I pick up the food and shoo out the flies, the ones that are alive.
I am so glad for the word oblivious, and it’s Constance I must thank.
I may not have thought of this word if I hadn’t opened my think tank.
Imagine if Oblivious became I BLAME YOU, what would I have thought?
It might get so serious. Our next destination would be a divorce court.
So its sled dead..Ahead!
E V's get ice'd with outage
The tortoise smiles long.'