Best Naughtily Poems
I love my Uncle Bob,
Who is so big and stout;
He always makes me laugh,
And he never ever stops.
When he drives his old truck,
He invites his fat friends to hop;
In the village, they went around,
Naughtily making a pig sound.
Those fat villagers, upon seeing them
So scared and they hurriedly run away,
Thinking that Uncle Bob’s friends will get them,
And put them all back in a pen.
Written: Aug. 8, 2012
He is only an uncle in my fantasy, lol. The idea was conceived after watching a Laugh Show of Joey D.L.
Categories:
naughtily, funny,
Form:
Rhyme
It was a time to bond and booze with dear Papa,
An interval all the more naughtily charming
As it inflamed the temper of irascible Mama.
Before happy hour, we two went shooting
With the three o three I bought for drama
In a gauche youth that was always dragging.
Out we drove in my short, fat pa's beetle,
Two maladroits equally socially feeble.
We stopped by some neatly stacked cans
That we shot, exploding wet excrement
Putting a brown pall on our bonding plans.
I fired a random shot as if by witty accident.
Off we went driving by unbroken fences
Till we saw a policeman in bewilderment
Standing over a black and white cow,
By a farmer making a bellowing row.
“We shot the beef, my son,” joshed Pa,
And put the foot down upon the pedal,
Laughing merrily in the hurrying car.
I smiled at his jest however feeble,
A tasteless jibe at the furious farmer.
The very thought I readily dismissed
With a sly, effete flick of the wrist.
The matter of the dead cow was forgot
Until not too long before oblivion
Took hold of every thought of the sot
Aged stupid by whisky and bad living.
“It was because of that cow we shot,
A sin that God has not yet forgiven.”
For a neighbour's dog gored his heifer,
A punishment he had to decipher.
But I think he obliquely gave me blame,
For it was I who shot the bovine brute.
Before his fading mind went fully lame
He reasoned it best to stem guilty root
Before old sins haunted shaky mind's frame.
Dark disputes lingered as he was less astute.
But for me the cow is a point of indifference,
In the abattoir a month earlier of its existence.
Categories:
naughtily, age, anxiety, death, family,
Form:
Ottava rima
Fuzzy and hairy that is what he was, a cuddly big bear. She
Undressed shyly before him while he took his own sweet time
Zesting it up with cologne before a mirror, what a nervous boy
Zorro mask in place he naughtily asked," can I use my whip ?"
You can do anything you want but leave my feet alone
So there they were two hotties revving for the big big night
Oh Oh Oh she wailed and moaned, " how I love the big wild horse"
Caressing her like a velveteen he croons into her ear, "Oh dear "
Kiss me, canoodle me but don't look at my feet Tiger, cuz if you do ?
So slowly ever so slowly he peels the blanket off her quivering body
And as he looked at her feet he took in the blue socks and crocs
Nascent desires squelched, she was no longer a sexy wench ,
Darling, what in Gods name made you wear something like that he cried
Cuz I wanted to be hot stuff for you, but my feet are always cold
Roaring with laughter he took off his mask & she noticed his brows
Oh my stars you shaved your brows! "Didn't want to be a
Caveman my dear. She giggled and squeezed him tight. I love it
Sexy Zorro. Two lovers doo whopping it, with hot sexy love...
Categories:
naughtily, humorous,
Form:
Acrostic
Today girls are so different
A lot of mix attitudes
Some are so nice and friendly
And then some are so very rude
I tell one girl how she pretty
She told me to go to hell
Then I did a little observation
And the results now I would like tell
Some girls are so shy
They won’t even show their face
And some think they are so sexy
Only dress in leather and lace
Then some girls are so sad
They will only share their sorrow
And when the attractive girls passing
All the guys will start to follow
Some girls can think they are weak
And have no confidence within
Then the bullied girls feel like losers
And think they just can’t win
But when god created woman
He gives them unimaginable powers
Women can be strong like a mountain
And still beautiful like a bunch of flowers
Women has powers to make peace
And the ability to start a war
For when a man loves a woman
He would do anything for her
Some girls just like to be alone
And will do everything on their own
Some girls are so chatty
They will live on the phone
Some girls can be suicidal
And don’t want to be here tomorrow
Then there is the selfish girl
Whose heart is so shallow?
When a girl is embarrass
She wishes for a place to hide
And you will know the naughtily girls
They are ones who lost their pride
The adventurous girls
are the ones who is out and about
And the victimize girls
They stop and no longer go out
Some girls are tomboys
will see them falling off a swing
And the slutty girls well?
They will just have a one night fling
and the rejected girls
walking around feeling empty
And then the lazy girls
they are always feeling sleepy
But what ever types of girls there is
Their powers will have no end
A lot of guys will hate me for saying this
But women is more powerful than men
Categories:
naughtily, girl, introspection, life,
Form:
Light Verse
You, I've loved you ever you've been with me!
None supported me as you did, so far.
On my eighteenth, you shone elegantly,
Capturing naughtily what eyes didn't see
When I held closely the mini skirt star.
So, I've loved you ever you've been with me!
In the dark night, when I tread cautiously
To the robber you gave a nasty scar.
And, strong and proud, you shone elegantly!
She came and shunned you for being shabby
She replaced you and you gazed from afar
Still, I've loved you ever you've been with me!
Then one day she left me in state sorry.
I threw her gift to hug you as you are.
Dear of mine, you shone elegantly!
I was not rich man when you came to me
All crushed and bruised you took me to my gloire.
Lovely shoes, I've loved you ever you've been with me!
I love the way you shone elegantly!
27/08/16
Contest: My shoes
Categories:
naughtily, appreciation, best friend,
Form:
Villanelle
Doggie play at evening goes loud and stark
That naughtily, pug with its moaned voice bark;
Behind the door where the kids do remark
Oh coiled yarn and steak-bone are tossed, we hark !
With this canine mess, why is the room dark?
Laura Loo's Personal Memories Monorhyme
3/25/2016
Visual 1
Categories:
naughtily, dog, games, humor,
Form:
Monorhyme
Was a calm and uneventful day on a family holiday
what can we do next, how about taking that boat out to sea
We begged some sandwiches cans of coke to drink
Borrowing a fishing rod, off we went Into the brink.
Sea was like a millpond, for miles we could see
Had a pull on the rod once it was one that got away.
Must have been a foot long, I am sure when put to the test
It wasn't near that length was mere minion size at best
Was then we saw the dolphins swimming and playing happily
They naughtily caught up the rope and pulled us out to sea,,
Round and round in circles swimming merrily
up we went like a inning top and landed in an island tree
Time was going on a big row if we weren't home for tea
But how to get down was evading us and then as a surprise to me.
Along came King Neptune in his chariot wearing a silly grin
Better get you home for tea, a row to spoil your hols would be a sin.
Categories:
naughtily, fish,
Form:
Couplet
Darling, your little lamb dressed naughtily in lace
lies here languishing endlessly on satin sheets,
with loosened locks spread upon a silken pillow case.
I sail into a day-dream land where I think of what I miss:
the ripple of your gentle laughter, the scintilla of your smile,
which send me to a lavender and lilac scented place of soulful bliss.
I imgaine your soft eyes, alluringly light blue,
your lashes that lightly brush my blushing face,
And your dulcet voice calling, “Let me make sweet love to you.”
Mesmermized by magic, I’m revolving with delight,
maddeningly loving you, I’m lilting. You’re my moon.
In your illumination, I am floating in your light.
Dreaming of your smooth lips moving marvelously on mine.
Like licking the meringue on lemon pie, so succulent.
My wine, my mint julip, the elixir I imbibe – you are sublime.
Here I am , your little lamb, yet dressed so naughtily.
Hurry, Darling, let me fall upon you and love you lusciously.
March 30, 2018
Now for PD's 'Alliteration 004 (I prefer old poems)' Contest
Categories:
naughtily, romantic,
Form:
Alliteration
bearing the pain and hopes of others .... that's
everyone's wish I am sure each day
I bend my head and pray to give thanks
not just because I can feel emotions and convey
goodness and forgiveness along lifes way
human thoughts of pleasure and of pain
enjoying the moment of summers rain
making wishes and dreams of others come true
artistically painting a portrait of life, of you
naughtily thinking thoughts that lovers do.
that's being human
penned 6 July 2016
Categories:
naughtily, life,
Form:
Acrostic
Nicely naughty and naughtily nice,
Every character has its price.
To be naughty and yet be nice,
Adds to the personality a bit of spice.
Naughty by temperament, nice by choice,
Camouflages the shrillness of the voice.
Nicely thought words, and naughtily executed deeds,
Spread through the garden of roses, like the weeds.
Naughty words are like the straws, which on the river flow,
He who is in search of nicety, must dive below.
END
Categories:
naughtily, nice,
Form:
Rhyme
BRIEF BELIEF
I no longer believe in believing
I do, however, believe in grieving
I cannot dodge the grievousness of grief
And that’s why I don’t believe in belief
I don’t believe in belief anymore
For me believing has become a bore
It’s a chore I no longer participate in
And each belief only made me anticipate sin
It’s a sin what believing has done to me
I once believed in a lover who would run to me
Instead they come and then run right past me
And that’s why I find believing so ghastly
Misbegotten belief was there to naughtily denigrate me
And believing was born only to haughtily hate me
It harbors in its heart a hatred that causes palpable pain
Ergo I no longer wait to see what belief will ordain
So don’t ask me to believe in hopes or dreams
Because believe me, belief is not what it seems
My only certainty is that love is adept at deceiving
And that’s why I don’t believe in believing
© 2012 copyright PHREEPOETREE…..~free cee!~
Categories:
naughtily, angst, me, me,
Form:
Quatrain
Susie teetered into Bill’s office, wearing a skintight miniskirt
Sat on Bill’s knee for dictation. She was an outrageous flirt
Soon Bill was smitten and couldn’t resist her ample charms
He forgot about his wife and kids and fell into Susie's arms
That was the lusty beginning of their clandestine love affair
Young Susie is a man-eater and calls Bill her "Honey Bear"
Bill’s wife discovered his deception and asked for a divorce
She’ll keep it out of the media for a huge settlement, of course!
As soon as his divorce was finalised he made Susie his wife
Susie’s only twenty. Bill wanted a carer for the rest of his life
Bill’s eighty-five years old and Susie stroked his thinning hair
and denies her attraction to him is that Bill’s a multi millionaire!
They say age doesn’t matter, especially when you are ‘in love’
That depends if you’re the ‘secretary’ who's married to ‘the ‘guv’!
Within a year Bill was dead and Susie worked for another VIP
I've heard she takes dictation while sitting naughtily upon his knee
Age doesn’t matter when you’re in love Contest
Sponsored by Julie leigh Rodeheaver
12-16-17
Categories:
naughtily, age, humorous, marriage, work,
Form:
Rhyme
Alabaster beauty caressed delightfully.
Excruciatingly flirtatious gentle hands, incite jubilant kisses.
Luxuriant moans naughtily offend pedestrians.
Quieter rumblings satiate trembling urges.
Vanquished wellsprings xeriscape yearning’s zealousness.
**19 Sep 2015**
Categories:
naughtily, sensual,
Form:
ABC
Blue sweet face
floating deep eyes
downing sun glares
her black hair glides
Lost in green
by the bending flute river
she naughtily smiles
and beams in fever
Waiting for someone
hurts her the most
the bohemian will return
no matter, how far he goes
Slice of the throat, vengeance would bloat
painful Love? the girl would gloat
The painter baffles
how to draw?
he colors her
with brush and straw.
Categories:
naughtily, heartbroken, love hurts,
Form:
Free verse
Little drops of water,
small and big,
Falling at a great speed on the thirsty earth
with rising smell over the land,
sometimes casuing floods and problem to all
sometimed naughtily while sometimes angrily,
making people travel to and fro,
though,
these little drops of water
big and small,
are fun for all.
Categories:
naughtily, nature
Form:
Verse