Best Limericks Poems

COME ON SOUPER'S LETS HAVE SOME FUN AND MAKE FOLK SMILE DURING SUCH DIFFICULT TIMES FOR US ALL. THERE ARE LOTS MORE APT NAMES  - PLEASE SOUP MAIL POEMS AND I WILL ADD THEM 

My dentist is called Doctor Payne,
Who really lives up to...

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1. Big Brother
Big Brother's protecting his mice
with a secret eavesdropping device.
          If you hang up the phone
          he'll just send in a drone
when a warrant won't really...

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Inspired by Joseph Mays limerick contest.
(not for contest )
-----------------------------------------------


A mischievous chef known as McMurray 
For a joke put Epsom salts in the curry
The toilet door he did lock 
The customers were in shock
He left by the back door in a great hurry.

An astronomer by the...

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The Garden of Eden
Some people believe that the Garden of Eden
Was in Africa, Asia, Australia...not Sweden.
The presumed site of its location
Is assumed from the interpretation
Of which Good Book's being read…and who's doin' the readin'.


Noah 
Noah's ark, neither yacht nor a sloop,
Was constructed to be one...

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LADY SOUPERS LIMERICKS

Jan Allison, Brenda Chiri, Dear Heart, Andrea Dietrich, Lu Loo, Tania Kitchin, Anne-Lise aka Sunshine Smile, SKAT A, Poet Destroyer, Line Gauthier, Kim Rodrigues, Joyce Johnson, Susan Ashley, Caren Krutsinger, Sara Kendrick, Carrie Richards, Rhoda Tripp, Nette Onclaud, Debbie Guzzi, Eileen Manassian, Dane...

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To their government Utah is true -
Not just state, but the federal too,
and so with great pride
they display on each side
of their flag the old Red, White and Blue.

Also famous for their industry,
Utah honors the cute bumble bee,
of which I now brag.
Center stage on their...

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There are a few gentlemen I admire
Whose lovely poems set my heart afire
Though we live far apart
They all captured my heart
Their romantic verses make me perspire.

I dare not expose each poet by name
Cuz I'm afraid that would make them fair game
To the women of soup
Who...

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Limericks VI - Religion

Pell-Mell for Hell Mel
by Michael R. Burch

There once was a Baptist named Mel
who condemned all non-Christians to hell.
When he stood before God
he felt like a clod
to discover His Love couldn’t fail!



Why I Left the Religious Right
by Michael R. Burch

He's got Jesus's name...

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Holidays are coming; the first is near
Halloween is a night that many fear
But the bravest ones boast
"I'm not afraid of ghosts!"
Until eerily haunting cries they hear.

There's feasting on November's holiday
Giving thanks for our blessings, we pray
But I burned the turkey
So, we ate beef jerky
On a...

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BIN JAMAL

A pervert by the name of Bin Jamel
Was charged with bizarre sex with a mammal 
the charges were read
Bin Jamal went red
Cos the charge was bonking a fat camel... 


JOHNNY McGOOS

Did you hear about young Johnny McGoos
Had a misfortune regarding his shoes
The neighbours dog...

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My boyfriend was agitated
Because I was constipated
We'd be late for the game
Of course I was to blame
My butt hole's not dialated

On and on he whined and waited
Use of laxatives, debated
In my gut it was stuck
I could smell it... oh yuck
Boyfriend getting more frustrated

I could hear...

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Groot Limericks

Groot is an alien tree being
So tall you just cannot miss him
He obsorbed a bomb blast
Protecting friends from fall fast
And regrown in a pot from one limb


Groot would only say one word
Racoon understood what he heard
Best friends they did stay
Kept baddies at bay
Together both...

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A LIMERICK OR THREE INSPIRED BY THE
TOM CUNNNINGHAM
on
JAN ALLISONS
BIRTHDAY
~~~~~~~~~
there is a poetry soup poet called Tom
at composing limericks, so well done!
a birthday wish he wrote for Jan,
a birthday date I did ney ken!
Oh I wish I could sing the birthday song

now there's another named Mick
who's...

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~ GREEN JELLO ~ 

A fellow from an archipelago
Puts on caps and hats made of green jello
   Doesn't care what you think
   His short pants shocking pink
Wears lipstick and rouge too ~ bright hot yellow



     ~ THE...

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HOLIDAY LIMERICKS

Holiday workers on mid-west farms
Know it is true that UV light harms
But all will ignore the sign
Wearing a T-shirt is fine
As they do have the right to bare arms

Vacations are not merely to rest
As after all, paid work is the best
It is the nation...

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