Tom Cunningham Poet Limerick

A Few Limericks To Lighten Your Mood

BIN JAMAL

A pervert by the name of Bin Jamel
Was charged with bizarre sex with a mammal 
the charges were read
Bin Jamal went red
Cos the charge was bonking a fat camel... 


JOHNNY McGOOS

Did you hear about young Johnny McGoos
Had a misfortune regarding his shoes
The neighbours dog left a load
In the middle of the road
He missed it and skidded on doggy doos... 


OLD FREDDIE

Old Freddie was choping wood from a tree
Was hurrying to get home for his tea
It didn't end well
He let out a yell
Missed the branch and the axe stuck in his knee... 


BILL BEST

A young man by the name of Bill Best
Thought he'd put his girlfriend to the test
But she shattered Bill's dream
When she started to scream
They had layed down on top of an ants nest...


THE JOCKEY

A horse jockey was in the steeplechase 
Was galloping at a very fast pace
He misjudged the tall jump
Hit the ground with a thump
Was left with egg and fresh mud on his face... 



Written 29th July 2020.

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Kim Rodrigues August 6, 2020 at 6:27 AM Ooh, Johnny! Ouch, Freddie! Bill best find himself another girl for this one’s not been bitten by the love bug. Bin Jamal and the jockey both covered in mud. As always funny, you are Tom! xx Kim Tom Cunningham August 6, 2020 at 6:32 AM Thank you very much Kim, im happy I gave you a smile. Tom

Lindsay Laurie August 2, 2020 at 9:29 PM G'day Tom ... your limericks contain a bit of everything to keep us readers amused. You're always good for a giggle Tom - Lindsay Tom Cunningham August 2, 2020 at 11:56 PM Thank you very much Lindsay, as they say variety is the spice of life. Tom

Caren Krutsinger August 2, 2020 at 8:28 PM Johnny McGoo's is my favorite part but I like them all! Tom Cunningham August 2, 2020 at 11:55 PM Thank you Caren, im glad you enjoyed them. Tom

Gershon Wolf August 2, 2020 at 8:12 PM Bill's the Best!! ~ Ant Jemima (lol) Thanks, Tom. I needed a few chuckles today! Badly! One of those days, as they say. Ciao, Gershon Tom Cunningham August 2, 2020 at 11:54 PM Thank you Gershon, hope your day gets better for you. Tom

Ann Gilmour August 2, 2020 at 5:18 PM Hahaha... these really put a smile on my face Tom and I thank you for that my friend. Very clever With kindest thoughts Ann xx Tom Cunningham August 2, 2020 at 11:53 PM Thank you very much Ann, I'm pleased you enjoyed the humour. Tom

Darlene De Beaulieu August 2, 2020 at 1:09 PM Hello Tom, I feel badly for Bill's girlfriend.Oh the poor jockey.That camel was bonking poor camel. Enjoyed thes limricks. Have a nice day my friend. Darlene De Beaulieu August 4, 2020 at 9:47 AM Hello Tom, I knew it was fictional. LOL. You have done well with this poem. Enjoy your day my friend. Tom Cunningham August 2, 2020 at 11:52 PM Thank you Darlene, dont worry they're all fictional characters that my muse gave me lol. Hope you are well. Tom

Jack Ellison August 2, 2020 at 5:56 AM Sir Thomas, you go by all the lim rules! First 2 hrhyme... next 2 rhyme... last one rhymes with first 2! Most time I ignore the rules! LOL Your lims are bang on... CONGRATS on son! Tom Cunningham August 2, 2020 at 7:09 AM Thanks Jack, it was Michael who wanted you to visit, Rules ? at our age we can do what we like lol. Tom

Michael Tor August 1, 2020 at 8:02 PM Tom wheres Jacks comment I thought he would check out his competition? lol Tom Cunningham August 2, 2020 at 1:16 AM I left him a message and he thought it was you, I corrected him but still no show

Tania Kitchin August 1, 2020 at 2:37 PM A great set of limericks Tom, made me belly laugh, you are good at these! :) Tom Cunningham August 1, 2020 at 2:56 PM Thank you very much Tania I'm happy they gave you a laugh Hope you're well. Tom

Eve Roper August 1, 2020 at 1:04 PM Great limericks, Tom, my fav. was the ant hill.. Hugs Eve Tom Cunningham August 1, 2020 at 1:16 PM Thank you very much Eve, im pleased you enjoyed them. Tom

Jennifer Proxenos August 1, 2020 at 9:19 AM Old Freddie reminds me of our new neighbor, lovely people, but every day in their beautiful garden, he chops enough wood to make a braai (barbecue) be it summer winter spring or fall. Hopefully he wont put an exe through his leg! I love your limericks Tom, Blessings, Jennifer. Tom Cunningham August 1, 2020 at 9:34 AM Thank you Jennifer, im pleased you enjoyed them, tell your neighbour not to take his eye off the ball lol. Tom

Silent One August 1, 2020 at 9:18 AM Hahaha.. made me smile like the sun.. Tom Cunningham August 1, 2020 at 9:33 AM Thank you SO, it was lovely yesterday but big black clouds are gathering as I write. Tom

Team Poetrysoup August 1, 2020 at 8:18 AM Love this. Tom Cunningham August 1, 2020 at 8:51 AM Thanks TPS, im happy you enjoyed the humour. Tom

Michael Tor July 31, 2020 at 6:05 PM Jack Ellison should read these Tom, lol Tom Cunningham August 1, 2020 at 2:10 AM Thank you Michael, ill give him the nod. Tom

Jan Allison July 31, 2020 at 5:41 PM hilarious Tom, you are amazing at writing this form:-) hugs Jan xx Tom Cunningham August 1, 2020 at 2:09 AM Thank you Jan, and I have you to thank for the inspiration. ( so far so good, no poet turned off commenting) Tom

Alexis Y. July 31, 2020 at 9:22 AM Hi Tom, I enjoyed your string of limericks. How do you come up with the Titles and content so effortlessly. I’m still waiting on that book of limericks! Have a wonderful day and weekend:-) Alexis Tom Cunningham August 1, 2020 at 2:08 AM Haha, still on the drawing board Alexis.. Hope you too enjoy the weekend. Tom

Andrea Dietrich July 30, 2020 at 5:54 PM you are a WHIZ kid with limericks. Awesome! Tom Cunningham July 30, 2020 at 8:53 PM Thank you Andrea, im pleased you enjoyed them. Tom

Andrea Dietrich July 30, 2020 at 5:53 PM hey, Jan just sent me a note that your comments may not be coming to me because perhaps I have you inadvertintely blocked?? But I was able to read your recent comment to me. Do you know what she was talking about? I will read your lims now. Tom Cunningham July 30, 2020 at 8:59 PM Strange, just went to answer this and it said poet has turned off commenting, went to member area and all ok. Earlier I left a comment on yours and when I looked again it had gone, done it again and it seems ok. But in my outbox it shows two comments were made but only one on your poem. I thought you might have accidentally blocked me. Tom

Mark Koplin July 30, 2020 at 2:32 PM OMG I think I just peed myself, you are a riot Sir Tom!! I love your work, you are always so entertaining and bring nothing but smiles and laughter. God bless you my friend. Tom Cunningham July 30, 2020 at 4:02 PM Thank you Mark, glad I gave you a chuckle. Hope you're well. Tom

John Watt July 30, 2020 at 11:23 AM Thank you for the guffaws and smiles today, Tom. Appreciate the lift in spirits. All were funny, I liked the clever ending of the ambitious jockey. ~ John Tom Cunningham July 30, 2020 at 11:28 AM Thank you very much John, im happy you enjoyed the humour. Hope you're well Tom

Panagiota Romios July 30, 2020 at 10:20 AM Good morning, Tom. These are truly funny. I don't know which I like best. A crack-up. Smiles, Pangie xx Tom Cunningham July 30, 2020 at 11:00 AM Thank you Panagiota, I love humour, we need lots if it at the moment for sure. Tom

Anne-Lise Andresen July 30, 2020 at 6:27 AM :))) ... wait a minute, Tom ... :))) ----- .... it can affect most people, both women and men .... laugh out loud ... do not let urine leakage stop you - So fun :) - hugs // Anne-Lise :) Tom Cunningham July 30, 2020 at 8:27 AM Haha, love your comment Anne, we have a saying here, peeing yourself with laughter lol? Tom

Carolyn Devonshire July 29, 2020 at 2:11 PM I have come to look forward to your limericks, Tom. During a pandemic, we need all the humor you can muster and you surely delivered here! "Bin Jamal" is outrageously funny (as are all of them), but I think it's "Bill Best" is my favorite. Can still remember the first time I was bit by a "fire ant," and at the time, it didn't seem funny at all. Thank you for lifting our spirits, Tom! Hugs, Carolyn Tom Cunningham July 30, 2020 at 12:53 AM Thank you very much Carolyn, s These are still trying times and humour goes a long way to giving us a lift, im happy that you enjoyed the humour. Tom

Sam Kauffman July 29, 2020 at 1:37 PM Ouch, grimace, ohhhh dear my friend! Life can be slippery, prickly and sloppy! Fun. You do have a gift for the limerick. Sending a careful Over Fork Over! Tom Cunningham July 30, 2020 at 12:56 AM Thank you very much Sam, most dog owners are responsible owners but there's one or two that never bother, I avoid dark paths at night lol. Over Fork Over. Tom

Vijay Pandit July 29, 2020 at 7:02 AM They certainly lighten the mood--you are a master at this form, Tom. Would have been a great poem of the day as well..nonetheless, one more for your book yet to be published. Tom Cunningham July 29, 2020 at 9:55 AM Thank you very much Vijay, I felt I was a bit overdue writing a few lims. Tom

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