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A Few Limericks To Lighten Your Mood

BIN JAMAL A pervert by the name of Bin Jamel Was charged with bizarre sex with a mammal the charges were read Bin Jamal went red Cos the charge was bonking a fat camel... JOHNNY McGOOS Did you hear about young Johnny McGoos Had a misfortune regarding his shoes The neighbours dog left a load In the middle of the road He missed it and skidded on doggy doos... OLD FREDDIE Old Freddie was choping wood from a tree Was hurrying to get home for his tea It didn't end well He let out a yell Missed the branch and the axe stuck in his knee... BILL BEST A young man by the name of Bill Best Thought he'd put his girlfriend to the test But she shattered Bill's dream When she started to scream They had layed down on top of an ants nest... THE JOCKEY A horse jockey was in the steeplechase Was galloping at a very fast pace He misjudged the tall jump Hit the ground with a thump Was left with egg and fresh mud on his face... Written 29th July 2020.

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Kim Rodrigues

Date: 8/6/2020 6:27:00 AM

Ooh, Johnny! Ouch, Freddie! Bill best find himself another girl for this one’s not been bitten by the love bug. Bin Jamal and the jockey both covered in mud. As always funny, you are Tom! xx Kim

Tom Cunningham
Date: 8/6/2020 6:32:00 AM

Thank you very much Kim, im happy I gave you a smile. Tom

Lindsay Laurie

Date: 8/2/2020 9:29:00 PM

G'day Tom ... your limericks contain a bit of everything to keep us readers amused. You're always good for a giggle Tom - Lindsay

Tom Cunningham
Date: 8/2/2020 11:56:00 PM

Thank you very much Lindsay, as they say variety is the spice of life. Tom

Caren Krutsinger

Date: 8/2/2020 8:28:00 PM

Johnny McGoo's is my favorite part but I like them all!

Tom Cunningham
Date: 8/2/2020 11:55:00 PM

Thank you Caren, im glad you enjoyed them. Tom

Gershon Wolf

Date: 8/2/2020 8:12:00 PM

Bill's the Best!! ~ Ant Jemima (lol) Thanks, Tom. I needed a few chuckles today! Badly! One of those days, as they say. Ciao, Gershon

Tom Cunningham
Date: 8/2/2020 11:54:00 PM

Thank you Gershon, hope your day gets better for you. Tom

Ann Gilmour

Date: 8/2/2020 5:18:00 PM

Hahaha... these really put a smile on my face Tom and I thank you for that my friend. Very clever With kindest thoughts Ann xx

Tom Cunningham
Date: 8/2/2020 11:53:00 PM

Thank you very much Ann, I'm pleased you enjoyed the humour. Tom

Darlene De Beaulieu

Date: 8/2/2020 1:09:00 PM

Hello Tom, I feel badly for Bill's girlfriend.Oh the poor jockey.That camel was bonking poor camel. Enjoyed thes limricks. Have a nice day my friend.

Darlene De Beaulieu
Date: 8/4/2020 9:47:00 AM

Hello Tom, I knew it was fictional. LOL. You have done well with this poem. Enjoy your day my friend.

Tom Cunningham
Date: 8/2/2020 11:52:00 PM

Thank you Darlene, dont worry they're all fictional characters that my muse gave me lol. Hope you are well. Tom

Jack Ellison

Date: 8/2/2020 5:56:00 AM

Sir Thomas, you go by all the lim rules! First 2 hrhyme... next 2 rhyme... last one rhymes with first 2! Most time I ignore the rules! LOL Your lims are bang on... CONGRATS on son!

Tom Cunningham
Date: 8/2/2020 7:09:00 AM

Thanks Jack, it was Michael who wanted you to visit, Rules ? at our age we can do what we like lol. Tom

Michael Tor

Date: 8/1/2020 8:02:00 PM

Tom wheres Jacks comment I thought he would check out his competition? lol

Tom Cunningham
Date: 8/2/2020 1:16:00 AM

I left him a message and he thought it was you, I corrected him but still no show

Tania Kitchin

Date: 8/1/2020 2:37:00 PM

A great set of limericks Tom, made me belly laugh, you are good at these! :)

Tom Cunningham
Date: 8/1/2020 2:56:00 PM

Thank you very much Tania I'm happy they gave you a laugh Hope you're well. Tom

Eve Roper

Date: 8/1/2020 1:04:00 PM

Great limericks, Tom, my fav. was the ant hill.. Hugs Eve

Tom Cunningham
Date: 8/1/2020 1:16:00 PM

Thank you very much Eve, im pleased you enjoyed them. Tom

Jennifer Proxenos

Date: 8/1/2020 9:19:00 AM

Old Freddie reminds me of our new neighbor, lovely people, but every day in their beautiful garden, he chops enough wood to make a braai (barbecue) be it summer winter spring or fall. Hopefully he wont put an exe through his leg! I love your limericks Tom, Blessings, Jennifer.

Tom Cunningham
Date: 8/1/2020 9:34:00 AM

Thank you Jennifer, im pleased you enjoyed them, tell your neighbour not to take his eye off the ball lol. Tom

Silent One

Date: 8/1/2020 9:18:00 AM

Hahaha.. made me smile like the sun..

Tom Cunningham
Date: 8/1/2020 9:33:00 AM

Thank you SO, it was lovely yesterday but big black clouds are gathering as I write. Tom

Team Poetrysoup

Date: 8/1/2020 8:18:00 AM

Love this.

Tom Cunningham
Date: 8/1/2020 8:51:00 AM

Thanks TPS, im happy you enjoyed the humour. Tom

Michael Tor

Date: 7/31/2020 6:05:00 PM

Jack Ellison should read these Tom, lol

Tom Cunningham
Date: 8/1/2020 2:10:00 AM

Thank you Michael, ill give him the nod. Tom

Jan Allison

Date: 7/31/2020 5:41:00 PM

hilarious Tom, you are amazing at writing this form:-) hugs Jan xx

Tom Cunningham
Date: 8/1/2020 2:09:00 AM

Thank you Jan, and I have you to thank for the inspiration. ( so far so good, no poet turned off commenting) Tom

Alexis Y.

Date: 7/31/2020 9:22:00 AM

Hi Tom, I enjoyed your string of limericks. How do you come up with the Titles and content so effortlessly. I’m still waiting on that book of limericks! Have a wonderful day and weekend:-) Alexis

Tom Cunningham
Date: 8/1/2020 2:08:00 AM

Haha, still on the drawing board Alexis.. Hope you too enjoy the weekend. Tom

Andrea Dietrich

Date: 7/30/2020 5:54:00 PM

you are a WHIZ kid with limericks. Awesome!

Tom Cunningham
Date: 7/30/2020 8:53:00 PM

Thank you Andrea, im pleased you enjoyed them. Tom

Andrea Dietrich

Date: 7/30/2020 5:53:00 PM

hey, Jan just sent me a note that your comments may not be coming to me because perhaps I have you inadvertintely blocked?? But I was able to read your recent comment to me. Do you know what she was talking about? I will read your lims now.

Tom Cunningham
Date: 7/30/2020 8:59:00 PM

Strange, just went to answer this and it said poet has turned off commenting, went to member area and all ok. Earlier I left a comment on yours and when I looked again it had gone, done it again and it seems ok. But in my outbox it shows two comments were made but only one on your poem. I thought you might have accidentally blocked me. Tom

Mark Koplin

Date: 7/30/2020 2:32:00 PM

OMG I think I just peed myself, you are a riot Sir Tom!! I love your work, you are always so entertaining and bring nothing but smiles and laughter. God bless you my friend.

Tom Cunningham
Date: 7/30/2020 4:02:00 PM

Thank you Mark, glad I gave you a chuckle. Hope you're well. Tom

John Watt

Date: 7/30/2020 11:23:00 AM

Thank you for the guffaws and smiles today, Tom. Appreciate the lift in spirits. All were funny, I liked the clever ending of the ambitious jockey. ~ John

Tom Cunningham
Date: 7/30/2020 11:28:00 AM

Thank you very much John, im happy you enjoyed the humour. Hope you're well Tom

Panagiota Romios

Date: 7/30/2020 10:20:00 AM

Good morning, Tom. These are truly funny. I don't know which I like best. A crack-up. Smiles, Pangie xx

Tom Cunningham
Date: 7/30/2020 11:00:00 AM

Thank you Panagiota, I love humour, we need lots if it at the moment for sure. Tom

Anne-Lise Andresen

Date: 7/30/2020 6:27:00 AM

:))) ... wait a minute, Tom ... :))) ----- .... it can affect most people, both women and men .... laugh out loud ... do not let urine leakage stop you - So fun :) - hugs // Anne-Lise :)

Tom Cunningham
Date: 7/30/2020 8:27:00 AM

Haha, love your comment Anne, we have a saying here, peeing yourself with laughter lol? Tom

Carolyn Devonshire

Date: 7/29/2020 2:11:00 PM

I have come to look forward to your limericks, Tom. During a pandemic, we need all the humor you can muster and you surely delivered here! "Bin Jamal" is outrageously funny (as are all of them), but I think it's "Bill Best" is my favorite. Can still remember the first time I was bit by a "fire ant," and at the time, it didn't seem funny at all. Thank you for lifting our spirits, Tom! Hugs, Carolyn

Tom Cunningham
Date: 7/30/2020 12:53:00 AM

Thank you very much Carolyn, s These are still trying times and humour goes a long way to giving us a lift, im happy that you enjoyed the humour. Tom

Sam Kauffman

Date: 7/29/2020 1:37:00 PM

Ouch, grimace, ohhhh dear my friend! Life can be slippery, prickly and sloppy! Fun. You do have a gift for the limerick. Sending a careful Over Fork Over!

Tom Cunningham
Date: 7/30/2020 12:56:00 AM

Thank you very much Sam, most dog owners are responsible owners but there's one or two that never bother, I avoid dark paths at night lol. Over Fork Over. Tom

Vijay Pandit

Date: 7/29/2020 7:02:00 AM

They certainly lighten the mood--you are a master at this form, Tom. Would have been a great poem of the day as well..nonetheless, one more for your book yet to be published.

Tom Cunningham
Date: 7/29/2020 9:55:00 AM

Thank you very much Vijay, I felt I was a bit overdue writing a few lims. Tom