Notes About The Poem

Reader, I apologize in advance for the grossness of these limericks.  That being written, proceed if you like toilet humor.  At least I spared you the posting of a picture.

Stuck in My Gut - Gross Limericks

My boyfriend was agitated
Because I was constipated
We'd be late for the game
Of course I was to blame
My butt hole's not dialated

On and on he whined and waited
Use of laxatives, debated
In my gut it was stuck
I could smell it... oh yuck
Boyfriend getting more frustrated

I could hear the game on the phone
I said, "Go. Just leave me alone!"
But he didn't hear me
His team was up by three
Stomach hurt, I let out a moan

Half hour later, he was snoring
I guess the game must be boring
I still sat on the can
Cursing my boyfriend, Dan
Who was no longer adoring.

After being lubricated
I sighed at being elated
Although my butt was sore
I had to poop no more
My bowels had been vacated

I found Dan's note and shook my head
"I had to poop, so went home instead
of waiting for you, Sue.
After this, we are through!"
That's exactly what his note said.

I felt relief, more ways than one
Happy that Dan and I were done
Now I can be alone
When sitting on my throne
No one shouting, "Hurry up, Hun!!"
Copyright © | Year Posted 2024

Poem

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Read Avatar
August 28, 2024 at 1:14 PM
Dear Lin that sounds like a bummer , I imagine the smell was a hummer, What you should have done , To relieve your bum, Was to send for the local plumber.
Lane Avatar
August 28, 2024 at 4:37 PM
Bummer. Why didn’t I think of that? Thanks, John.
Edmonds  Avatar
August 28, 2024 at 12:43 AM
Does the boyfriend lose his favour from you - When you are sitting there upon the loo - Wish he'd leave you alone - To reign upon your throne - Instead of causing you hullaballoo…. Beryl
Lane Avatar
August 28, 2024 at 4:38 PM
It that had been real he would’ve been long gone. Thanks, Beryl.
Rodrigues Avatar
August 25, 2024 at 6:01 PM
LOL! We all get stuck sometimes and it is no fun for a loved one to be waiting on the release of our cheeks from the throne.
Lane Avatar
August 28, 2024 at 4:39 PM
No fun for the one with the problem either. Lol thanks, Kim.
Flood Avatar
August 24, 2024 at 4:52 PM
We have an expression in England, it’s “Lady Muck”… it means a pretentious posh woman… you have superbly redefined “Lady Muck” FOR THE REST OF MY DAYS!!! ;-)
Lane Avatar
August 25, 2024 at 7:59 AM
"Lady Muck" Hmmm Not sure I like the connotation of that, Terry. Jan has labeled me "Princess of Poop." That's cuz she's the Queen (I would genuflect here if not for God). I think I prefer a name a male poet gave me a few weeks ago after he read one of my romantic writes... Queen of Steam. Yes, I could have that printed on stationary. haha as if! At any rate, I'm delighted you enjoyed my 'pretentious muck.
Allison Avatar
August 24, 2024 at 10:46 AM
omg Lin this is so so funny - I guess I am 'relieved' I didnt think of these ideas for the book lol, i was creased up with the lubricated limericks especially lol:-) As Queen of poop you may continue to sit on your 'throne' and I name you 'princess of poop' lol:-) hugs jan xx
Cunningham Avatar
August 23, 2024 at 1:15 PM
Gross is putting it mildly , something was on fire and it wasn't your pen. Your certainly firing them out lol People can't say they weren't warned. Tom.
Lane Avatar
August 23, 2024 at 5:31 PM
I did indeed post this one with a warning. Thanks for the comments.
Kavanagh  Avatar
August 23, 2024 at 12:36 PM
Aw I was so looking forward to a picture (NOT)! you leave nothing to the imagination here Lin, well maybe to Jan’s imagination, and at least you got a load off your mind lol, I’m out of here already! Cheers David
Allison Avatar
August 24, 2024 at 10:47 AM
hmmm lol
Lane Avatar
August 23, 2024 at 12:41 PM
Did you wash your hands before you exited my bathroom? Good hygiene, and all that. LOL You and Dilly might not visit me any more after this one. As for Jan... she's immune to the ad nauseam. Thanks for sharing this silliness, David.
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