Best Koplin Poems
It was now growing dark as the sun was going down
When a stranger rode into Soup Creek, a frontier town
No one could see his face, he was all dressed in black
An old boy was heard to say "I think he's come back".
He took his horse to the stable, then went to the boarding house
Before he went in looked across the street, to the town jailhouse
There was a familiar figure sat outside, in a rocking chair
Cradling a Winchester and the stranger, felt his cold stare.
He'd returned after all these years; he had something to prove
And just after a few days back in town, he would make his move
But Sheriff Koplin is no fool and he had planned up far ahead
And had formed a posse whilst the stranger slept in his bed.
Three fiesty girls from the saloon, Jan and Jenna, Tania too
And a Texas ranger called David who was just passing through
With gambler Milton who was deadly, with a colt forty five
And Tom the undertaker who looked more dead than alive.
It was the evening of the showdown; the stranger came out of the saloon
The sun was now setting but the tension had been building up since noon
From his holster he withdrew his pistol and then fired shots up into the air
The stranger was not one for living a peaceful life and he just didn't care.
Sheriff Koplin approached him and said "Hand over your gun"
And the stranger replied "Lighten up man, I'm just having fun"
The stranger was laughing now and looking down at his feet
The townsfolk were nervous and had disappeared off the street.
Then behind the stranger came a shout in a loud Texas drawl
It was Jenna disguised as an old woman, covered with a shawl
"You heard the sheriff " she shouted, "Put your gun on the ground"
The air was now thick with tension and you couldn't hear a sound.
Then from nowhere the rest of the posse appeared pistols in hand
They abhorred bullies and conflict and were prepared to make a stand
The stranger realised he couldn't win and threw his gun down
Walked to the livery stable to get his horse, and rode out of town.
The drama was now over but it could have gone either way
Sheriff Koplin and his posse restored peace, and had won the day
It was now days end in Soup Creek in that peaceful frontier town
All you could hear were chirping crickets as the sun was going down.
Written on 20th May 2022.
6 years ago, I wrote limericks about 5 PS poets. Today, I've posted
about another 5 and will continue to add more... before 6 years.
I tickled funny bones of five Souper men
So, I gave thought to trying it once again
In the order they replied
My sarcasm was applied
As I gently heckled them with ink and pen
First, Tom Cunningham, who "liked my collection"
To femme limericks he had no objection
But now it's his turn
Tom, forgive the burn
I heard you're headed for a house of correction
Jerry T Curtis said to "keep them coming"
But I think that lately he's been slumming
He's all aflutter
And starts to stutter
When his lady friend starts his heart strumming
Then there is the poet of romance, Tim Smith
His sweet words of seduction are not a myth
I know it to be truth
Don't ask me. It's uncouth
I don't kiss and tell so I'm pleading the fifth
John Gondolf said my limericks made him "chuckle"
His comments are always filled with honeysuckle
But if he wants a date
I'll have to castigate
I have a black belt in the use of my knuckles
"I needed smiles and giggles," said Greg Barden
His poems are flowers blooming in a garden
But some words are couture
Fertilized with manure
Now I guess I'll have to beg for Greg's pardon
The new additions...
Like a brother he comes to my defense
This man wears no guise and has no pretense
Mark Koplin, misunderstood
A modern-day Robin Hood
To me he shines with rays of effulgence
There's a man who took me under his wing
Says what he thinks. Doesn't hold back a thing
Danny Turner, my friend
A helping hand he'll lend
For offering kind words, he's a wellspring
David Kavanagh, true friend from the start
Encouraging advice, he does impart
Throws Monoku lines like spears
I raise a glass to him ~ cheers!
Loyal, his word. A man with a good heart
Canadian, Vaso, we don't see oft
Art doesn't come across as being soft
But has a tender heart
For countries torn apart
His poetic words should never be scoffed
His funny thoughts overflow in a Flood
Terry writes humor that's never a dud
Risque, and sometimes not
His stories have a plot
Rumor has it that he's known as 'The Stud'
Gentlemen, I ask forgiveness for this spoof
My humorous parodies should be the proof
That I like all of you
And don't mind if ya do
Get even in your own limericks of reproof
Back to Basics
When all the rust takes over and our final structure falls
When that wood has finally rotted and the final trumpet calls
When the last day here on earth has then become your first
There will only be one way to quench that human thirst
When the light here starts to fade and your eyes are growing dim
When our thoughts can quickly turn, to this world away from him
When the last thing that we hear is the first we start to see
If you get lost in the forest, simply focus on the tree
His blood has now been shed, and his sacrifice was made
He suffered and died for us, for our debt to be fully paid
There is no greater love than what God has given and sent
Harden not your heart, accept the truth and then repent
None of us are perfect and worthy we are not
We repeat the same old sins and squander what we’ve got
Just remember what I tell you as you watch the sunset fall
Jesus Christ died for our sins, and his blood was shed for all
Mark Koplin
9/3/25
Corralled in Plato’s cave,
groupies of untenable shadows,
silenced their intuitions to the smoke and other sighs.
Jamaica’s capital hosted a convention
giving an ever-leaving coward’s play a stage,
now his work is done.
Senior partner and the oldest liar —
the younger roo’s handler —
watches from his own Whitman’s tower;
one man walking past the fire,
brave enough to look at the sun,
his integrity can see behind it.
Hate moved a biased hand against him,
but the truth is like The Cross,
and vanity will always seek a mirror.
Beyond any conviction,
immutable.
Forever keeping themselves,
beautiful.
----------------------------------------
Written: 05.01.20 – 05.03.20
Inspired by the bravery, intellectual honesty and integrity of my friend Mark Koplin.
No matter how some complain and bellow
they are exposed, each a trolling fellow
I'd look them in the eye
for telling one more lie
but I heard they're too busy eating crow
by Jenna Logan
Their "platforms" anchored, tightly tethered
Their statements all "if, ands, and whethers"
While blowing their horns
And spitting out thorns
From mouths full of fluffy crow feathers
by John Lawless
Cruel comments, sure catch one's eye
Demeaning, vindictive, but sly
Trolls aim to debase
And leave a bad taste
Perhaps they should eat humble pie
by Jan Allison
Some people just won't admit when they're wrong
Like to spin yarns and then string you along
But without any doubt
They are always caught out
Then feast on the first crow that comes along
by Tom Cunningham
Will he choke while eating crow
A feeble mind he does show
He messed in the blog
When he slopped his hog
His words are wind and they blow
by Mark Koplin
Your posts pretend to blow off steam
but your words are so very mean
time to eat some crow
maybe time to go
Your vile blogs make me want to scream
by Tania Kitchin
So many people are really just a fake
It's just who they are, dear lord, for heaven's sake
I just want them all to know
I'd fill their mouths with crow
And feed them as much as their fat cheeks can take
by Charlie Messina
A taste of revenge for the blogger
Whose intention is to cause bother
It's made perfectly clear
Folly falls on deaf ears
So fool, go eat crow for some fodder
by Belle Bellevue
For those who don't read blogs or know of Jan's successful first book, I've written a limerick for her and included it in my comment on her blog. She's included her interview in a podcast. I was asked to post my limerick here as well. If anyone would like to write a limerick in honor of her first publication, please join in and send me a limerick, or even a note to congratulate her. Thank you.
Jan, our Queen of Poop has a sexy voice
Crowned as Limerick Queen, she is our choice
But oh my lordy
Some are quite bawdy
Book sales are good ~ she's getting a Rolls Royce
by Lin Lane
Jan's poems are clever and funny too
Full of bawdy lines and some about poo
Comedy at its best
Her poems will attest
Read" A giggle a day" to not feel blue
by Tania Kitchin
No rolls Royce or Winnebago camper van
A sedia gestatoria, for Jan
One with a floating loo
For outdoor number two
Carried shoulder high around the Isle of Man
by David Kavanagh
LONG LIVE THE QUEEN
Jan Allison has written her first book
It was a mammoth task she undertook
Preview it on amazon
I'll guarantee you'll want one
I've read a bit and my whole body shook.
by Tom Cunningham
Jan nixed the idea of getting a Rolls
She opted to put wheels on toilet bowls
Her farts serve as a horn
She ignores those who scorn
And she never gets stopped to pay bridge tolls
by Mark Koplin
In a bathroom where tales tend to unfold
And humerous secrets are often told
There’s a plop and a cheer
Laughter rings loud and clear
In porcelain chambers poems are sold
by Arthur Vaso
Poetry Soup’s Queen of Poop
has made herself a news scoop!
She published her book
and that’s all it took.
A second book is now in the loop.
by Linda Alice Fowler
Congratulations Limerick queen Jan
A poetess who’s from the Isle of Man
Pleased your book is a hit
A giggle a day gift
From an hilarious comedian.
by Beryl Edmonds
A ten year long journey, uphill both ways,
ended last night, toward the end of the day.
The wife of my brother, the mother of his sons,
a farewell message from the tips of their tongues.
Two young boys have now become men,
a battle was fought and has come to its end.
In the still of the night a soul was led home,
with our Lord Jesus Christ we are never alone.
The love for our family is second to none,
I couldn’t be more proud, of both of these sons.
With passion and strength, they’ve completed their task,
God please hear me now and grant what I ask.
I ask for your guidance and strength for these men,
please light their new path and bless them again.
In these upcoming days there will be one more fight,
please keep them strong and show them your light.
Mark Koplin
7-24-2023
In the saloon gambler Milton, rose from his leather chair to speak
And said we need to make changes for the good of Soup Creek
He read all the meaningful proposals to the townsfolk out loud
And those meaningful proposals were well received by the crowd.
A stranger sat in the corner looked like he'd just got outta bed
Stood up and disagreed with everything Milton had said
He'd totally misunderstood Milton's honourable intention
The situation became tense and you could feel the tension.
There was an icy deadly silence then over by the far corner
Stood saloon girl Jenna looking mean, and cradling a Winchester
There was a mad stampede, as folks tried to get out the door
The stranger carried on ranting and at gambler Milton he swore.
Someone had alerted Sheriff Koplin and he was soon on his way
Then entered the saloon approaching the stranger, and had this to say
"Soup Creek is a very peaceful town and we aim to keep it that way
And if you don't like how we run things then you'd best be on your way"
Then from the back door of the saloon, entered four other deputies
Dave the Texas ranger, saloon girl Tania and the blacksmith called Rees
Undertaker Tom needed business, he was hoping the stranger they'd kill
And then headed off with a pick and shovel, to his office at Boot Hill.
The stranger was outnumbered and knew he wouldn't win
And handed the Sheriff his gun who said "I'm taking you in"
The Sheriff at gunpoint walked the stranger over to the jail
And told him" I'm locking you up and don't think about bail"
Meanwhile Tom up at Boot Hill was sweating digging a grave
Then heard someone hollering it was the Texas ranger Dave
Tom looked up and Dave told him "you won't be needed today
But Sheriff Koplin is generous and you'll still get your days pay"
"Gambler Milton is in the saloon later and he's holding a big party"
Tom threw his shovel in the grave and said "sounds good to me "
They both mounted their horses and then headed back to town
And they arrived back in Soup Creek as the sun was going down.
Written 16th August 2022
Man’s Best Friend
Their unwavering loyalty will never adjourn,
they will patiently sit and await your return.
They will give you their best with unending love,
they are man’s best friend, a gift from above.
They will always stand guard, both night and day,
you are theirs to protect, that’s just their way.
With hugs and kisses they will help ease your strife,
they need only you, to live their best life.
If you are anything like me, you will have a dog when you die,
when you never come home, they won’t understand why.
Dogs are very smart, they will understand death,
but they will need to see your body, once you’ve had your last breath.
All of us will die and this world will move on,
so please think of your dog, before you are gone.
It’s a heartbreaking time when our loved ones leave,
but just like us, our dogs need to grieve.
Mark Koplin
12/2/23
Tania Kitchin deserves to be honored for her courage. If you would like to honor her, send me your thoughts in couplet form. Thanks.
I have some recognition that I'd like to bring forth to all.
Thanks to Tania for having our backs and standing tall.
I’m proud of your character and standing up for what you believe.
I just want to say you’re awesome, and I hope you never leave.
Mark Koplin
Tania Kitchin, cheers to you for writing with lucidity
Your poem of the day carried its weight with validity
For the courage to write the truth, you were chided
But you should've been praised and not derided
Tania, you're being honored for taking a stand
You didn't merit the need for a harsh reprimand
Jenna Logan
I thought that I’d better pitch in
adding support for Tania Kitchin
She wrote her lines straight from the heart
though the POTD honour was soon to depart
I feel there was no need to apologize
Cos nasty soup trolls we all despise
Jan Allison
Why reprimand Tania? this really isn’t right
She was only highlighting not starting up a fight
My support I bring to this wee collab
Your back...so stand tall, we have it, we have!
Angela Tune
When confronted by trolls and bullies, Tania will speak her mind
A lady of integrity and steel, I think that you will find.
She like many of us here wants a quiet life without any fuss
And if what she wrote that day was wrong then I'm Sparticus.
Tom Cunningham
That foolish stranger who had wandered into town
bickering with folks, trying to shove them around
was nothing more than an old worn-out clown.
Beneath Soup Creek Bridge, we saw him drown.
We thought he'd learned a lesson and ran away,
but fate did him in for being such a mean hombre'
Sooner or later the devil always demands his pay.
The foolish stranger couldn't escape his doomsday.
He thought he'd left Soup Creek with a parting gift
that would make some angry, leaving others miffed
but it triggered laughter, which gave the town a lift,
knowing that hombre's ghost has been set adrift.
Foolishly, he tried to dance in the streets of Soup Creek
expecting those he'd injured to turn the other cheek.
With no help from the Beautiful People, once his clique,
the stranger with a mean streak was cowardly and weak
There's a moral to all stories, and this one is no exception
"Treat people like dirt and don't expect a warm reception."
The measure of a man isn't found in lies and deception
That was the stranger's concept, a gross misconception.
No peace to be found in death for one who doesn't behave.
Thanks to Sheriff Koplin, Gambler Milt, and Ranger Dave,
the ladies and the posse who pointed guns at the knave.
Undertaker Tom, time to put that dead stranger in a grave.
There's one who acts like a righteous queen
Prattling peacock, she loves to pose and preen
She is surly and gruff
Heckling slurs with a huff
And denouncing the life-saving vaccine
The haughty queen is quite aloof
and sometimes she acts like a goof
Should she be on trial
For covid denial
Believe me, I’ve seen lots of proof
She's favored by one, her Prince Demonic
He bows to her highness, Queen Sardonic
Praising her fortitude
Conspiring to collude
Feeding her compliments that are moronic
Her majesty thinks she was perfect at birth
Pompously aggrandizing her self worth
It's tritely ironic
Her hubris is chronic
She's filled with bitterness but little mirth
Prince Dom is seeking attention
Pining for the Queen’s affection
Their words are debunked
They both have been plunked
So much for the Queen’s perfection
The old Queen stood tall and haughty,
Gawking at me, judging me naughty.
Expected me to bow
And she called me a sow,
I refused, calling her throne a potty.
Anonymous PS poet
Our soups matriarch, started an almighty feud
By decreeing she's perfect, the queen of her brood
This flawless diamond
Reigns on Shutter Island
Even insane Leonardo's, pleading to be moved
Another anonymous ps poet
The queen poses behind a shadowy façade
Thinking she is perfect before Almighty God
Disgusting as a wicked witch
Cannot locate a worthy niche
Here among good poetry mortals of the sod.
Yet another anonymous ps poet
Jan Allison and Mark Koplin have joined me in this limerick collaboration. We're not telling who wrote which verse, but you're welcome to guess.
If anyone wishes to join in this collaboration, please send me your addition through soup mail.
Last July I was going west, looking for my pot of gold. I rode into a sleepy little town, Soup Creek was it's funny name. The dirt street was bare, it was a very hot July day.
I stopped in the saloon to wet my dry throat, when outside gun fire broke out. Sheriff Koplin said, a new hombre just rode into town. He is nothing but trouble, wish he would stay in his neck of the woods.
Mayor Tom said, I will settle this once and for all. As hombre computer drew to take a shot, Mayor Tom whipped out his two guns. You are going down, as the guns filled with ink were unloaded. (bang~bang) Mayor Tom said with a big smile on his face, ink will always win over you hombre computer.
Date Written: 12/21/2022
"Poem of the Day:12/23/2022"
And
1 Place
Who is your best PS poet or poetess Contest
Sponsored by: Sotto Poet
Note: The Soup Creek Story Lives On.
One evening Bob nervously said
I kinda like three in a bed
She said I’ve got friends
And each of them tends
To share the desires in your head
The next night as had been arranged
His ankles and hands were in chains
His lady walked in
With Rodney and Jim
And that kinda messed with his brains
His girl was a leather clad gimp
And Jim looked a bit of a wimp
Rodney said ducky
Time to get mucky
But Bob was decidedly limp
*
Time to collaborate...
First ‘up’... Jan Allison
Bob swallowed six Viagra whole
And soon was like a flag pole
Much to his delight
He stayed up all night
The threesome all enjoyed their roll
*
And from Tom Cunningham...
Poor old Bob was a pitiful sight
His girl decided to put things right
She produced a pump
And worked on his stump
And Bob was like a stallion all night.
Old Bob was so grateful for his girlfriend
But all things good always come to an end
With too much thumping
And all the humping
His thing deflated and started to bend.
*
And Belle Bellevue writes...
Bob went to see the doctor with his crick
Asking please could he do something with it
Doc gave it a jerk
That really hurt
But it became bigger after the visit.
That put a smile a mile wide on Bob's face
He strutted proudly all over the place
The more people looked
The longer he stood
With swollen head penetrating airspace.
Bob begged his girlfriend to bring some more in
The home fast becoming a den of sin
They came three by three
A sexy grand prix
Which ended up with Bob in a tailspin.
*
Mark Koplin adds...
Old Bob was a motherless soul
He liked bears, sheep and woodchuck holes
All three gave him a grin
On his chinny chin chin
Next time he’ll add a few moles
*
And Tania adds this...
Bob was enjoying being wildly bad
Posted a dating site with his fun add
So anxious he couldn't sleep
After being banned a creep
He was now left a frustrated poor lad
*
Lin, sorry to hear, as I am sick too
But I know it's not covid or the flu
Been blowing my raw nose
Sneezing still comes and goes
Maybe this cold needs a brandy or two
Written by Tania Kitchin
Hi poets, I've not been ignoring you
I've been battling the naughty germ, the flu
Writing this just to say
Feeling better today
I'll catch up on comments. Merci beaucoup!
Written by Lin Lane
Poor Tania and Lin are both ailing
I’m healthy but my muse is sailing
Away on a cruise
So I’ve got the blues
My chagrin is not worth detailing!
Written by Jan Allison
What I'm about to tell you is no lies
And it may come to you as a surprise
That all your sneezes
And all your wheezes
Are caused by covid virus in disguise
Written by Tom Cunningham
Tania and Lin, want to make a confession
They went out on the town for a session
But some bug sneezed in their wine,
On his way back from Des Moine’s
Now Feds have nailed him for indiscretion
Written by David Kavanagh
Poor Tania and Lin are both sick
In blighty we say Tom and Dick
But struck by girl flu
We men would boo hoo
So I’m getting out of here QUICK!
Written by Terry Flood
Our friends, Lin and Tania- feeling ill
Seems they both have a cough, cold...and a chill
They wrote each other a letter
To make each other feel better
So, their hubbies could get back on the pill
Written by Charles Messina
Everyone feels sick at the same darn time
This is a get well limerick in rhyme
No more sneezing issues
You've used all the tissues
Drink some tequila and suck on a lime!"
Written by Mark Koplin