Best Knock On Wood Poems
Well, my momma -bless her soul - she brought me up good.
She taught me all she knew and she taught me what she should,
She took me to a church and she made me knock on wood.
Still, Honey, I’m a half-baked sinner.
‘Cause I’m sittin’ here and thinkin’ that you’re look’in mighty fine.
You set my heart to pound’in and I’d like to make you mine.
But I’m such a careful gal though I walk a thin line,
Yeah, Honey, I’m a half-baked sinner.
Chorus:
Oh, a half-baked sinner; that’s all I am.
Stuck here in the middle of “Nowhere Land.”
A half-baked sinner, I’m God’s little joke,
but I still have my spirit ‘cause I’m only half-broke!
Well, I’m contemplatin’ things with you I’m not supposed to do.
If I’m halfway to Hell, they’ll put me all the way through!
But I’m only HALF-stupid - unlucky for you!
Yes, Honey, I’m a half-baked sinner.
Yes, I know you’ve got your pride, but listen, so do I.
I might not tell the truth, but I sure don’t tell no lie!
And I never will give in, for if you ask me why,
It’s because I’m just a half-baked sinner.
Repeat Chorus:
Oh, a half-baked sinner; that’s all I am.
Stuck here in the middle of “Nowhere Land.”
A half-baked sinner, I’m God’s little joke
but I still have my spirit ‘cause I’m only half-broke!
(my lyrics for a country song, but with no music yet.)
Well, my momma -bless her soul - she brought me up good.
She taught me all she knew and she taught me what she should,
She took me to a church and she made me knock on wood.
Still, Honey, I’m a half-baked sinner.
‘Cause I’m sittin’ here and thinkin’ that you’re look’in mighty fine.
You set my heart to pound’in and I’d like to make you mine.
But I’m such a careful gal though I walk a thin line,
Yeah, Honey, I’m a half-baked sinner.
Chorus:
Oh, a half-baked sinner; that’s all I am.
Stuck here in the middle of “Nowhere Land.”
A half-baked sinner, I’m God’s little joke,
but I still have my spirit ‘cause I’m only half-broke!
Well, I’m contemplatin’ things with you I’m not supposed to do.
If I’m halfway to Hell, they’ll put me all the way through!
But I’m only HALF-stupid - unlucky for you!
Yes, Honey, I’m a half-baked sinner.
Yes, I know you’ve got your pride, but listen, so do I.
I might not tell the truth, but I sure don’t tell no lie!
And I never will give in, for if you ask me why,
It’s because I’m just a half-baked sinner.
Repeat Chorus:
Oh, a half-baked sinner; that’s all I am.
Stuck here in the middle of “Nowhere Land.”
A half-baked sinner, I’m God’s little joke
but I still have my spirit ‘cause I’m only half-broke!
I woke up this morning,
and then without warning,
I rolled off the bed,
soundly bumping my head.
That was just the beginning of what I call,
my most exasperating day of all.
Here's what happened next:
Got into the shower,
then suddenly lost power.
Stubbed my toe getting out,
causing me to curse and shout.
In the dark I tried to dress,
hoping I wouldn't look a mess.
Lights came back on and sure enough,
mismatched socks and other stuff.
Spilled hot coffee on my blouse,
just as I was leaving the house.
Back inside to change my clothes;
so far this day really blows!
Ran some errands, so far so good,
maybe I should knock on wood.
Called a friend and met for lunch.
While eating I felt a startling crunch!
A tooth had broken - I wanted to wail!
Why couldn't I have broken a nail?
Now I'm feeling mighty stressed;
this dental problem must be addressed.
Dentist saw me right away,
and told me what I'd have to pay.
Tears welled up at his words.
The price was totally absurd!
Maybe I should just go toothless,
these dental fees are way to ruthless.
Driving home I was so distraught,
I didn't stop as I ought.
Police lights flashed in my rear view;
now what am I going to do?
The policeman asked for license and registration;
I started to blubber in frustration.
How could so many things go wrong in one day?
Now I have a ticket to pay.
I made it home without more trouble,
and then I poured myself a double
portion of sweet iced tea,
to refresh and comfort me.
I think I'll just go to bed,
pull the covers over my head,
and pray that tomorrow will be,
a much better day for me.
8/7/16
(Fortunately, this is a work of fiction)
Maddie is born and Moki is OK
and the future for this very moment
looks bright. We begin a brand new day
with fresh new hopes and much light comment,
we dream of all the days that have gone by,
we dream of all the days that are to come,
and all past mistakes now may
be seen as irrelevant and no one
can imagine anything but good
coming from ten tiny fingers and toes.
So we hold our breath and knock on wood,
for the future coming clad in roses.
Maddie is born and Moki is OK
and my life is blessed for another day.
Coffee, it is evident, is not Sherry's cup of tea;
She likes spirits like sherry and brandy
and knows the ropes of winemaking to a tee;
An oenologist by profession, like her pal Brandy,
found her niche in viticulture. Numbers of spirits
she's tasted, as a sommelier whose forté is wine
tasting. Oddly enough, she will actually whine
if I try to talk her out of dealing with other spirits.
She's involved in paranormal practices
and that chills me to the bone. She will lock up
in her tiny cubicle for hours to "communicate
with the beyond" and claims to have connected
with certain famous individuals after their
departures and says they are doing fine.
At least she says my "poems" blow her socks
off but I ought to massage her ducky feet
so that she read my verse. If I don't, she socks
me right in the gob! I feel I accomplish a feat
without an oxygen mask. It's not easy to bear
whatsoever the task of massaging her bare
dogs though I'm glad I don't have to polish
her toenails. She never paints 'em. Her Polish
friend concurs that Sherry is a little cracked
in the upper storey.
Dating a 146 IQ girl isn't all it's cracked
up to be. End of story.
I'm wondering: If we were in the North Pole
would she be barefoot so often? The Pole
thinks so and misses the golden days
when they both made money doing pole
dancing. "Boy we would definitely daze
the men at the club. They voted each night
for the best dancer. Most times the polls,
I have to admit, were in Sherry's favor.
Jolly times. But don't you dare have the gall
to say a word. She helps folks lose weight
today and loves it. Be kind to my half-Gaul
half-Brit friend and don't have her wait
when she wants foot massage. You would
be putting your foot in your mouth. Now go
put your feet up." Well, knock on wood,
the Pole's words made me feel lucky. Yo!
"Lessons Learnt in Life"
5. Never trust anyone
She
Saw me
Asked for fee
Oh no, baby
I get it for free
But lust gives new degrees
Oh yes, she was so sexy
She said, "With no hands, it's messy"
That turned me on, so I guess you see
The tempting dilemma it came to be
I told her her river would become sea
She winked, walked away, that's fantasy
No latex held, seduced by three
In the morning, destiny
Now dictates burning pee
Then I had to flee
So urgently
Now agree
Boldly
Gee
I had to try this but please don't think this is true....knock on wood....lol
Knock on wood
fingers crossed
don't step on cracks
don't walk under ladders
what kind of messed-up
window cleaner have I got ?.
Elizabeth alexander 16/3/2016
Don’t say that, you better knock on wood
It’s bad to spread misfortune aloud, in front of others
Don’t you know any better? Karma and jinxing are real
Hey! And get off that crack, you’ll break your mama’s back
It’s not so bad to spread misfortune aloud, in front of others
For those who did wrong doing to me and my loved ones
Hey! I’m glad to see you’re standing on that crack.
By the way send your dear mother my sincerest regards
And for those who did wrong doing to me and my loved ones
You should lasso the words escaping your mouth
Send your dear mother my sincerest regards
Just tell her I said it must blow having a child like you
You should hog tie those words before they escape your mouth
Sticks and stones could break bones, words, well they just sting
It must blow for your mom having such a shitty child, sting!
Sorry for the news flash but nobody likes you
Sticks and stones will break your bones, words just tingle
Oh you didn’t know any better? Karma and Jinxing are real
News flash! The world is better off without the likes of you
That’s why you shouldn’t say that, did you knock on wood yet?
Defined By Idioms
Naked truth, bent nails
dead men tell no tales
bad Apple, broken mirrors
burnt out light bulbs, crocodile tears
spilt milk, goose chase
two cents worth, rat race
rotten egg, bad to the bone
eagle eye, no place like home.
bat from hell,
pulled punch
big cheese,
no free lunch
can of worms, bleeding heart
knock on wood,
till death do us part
bite the bullet, checkered past
good as gold,
last laugh
burning bridges,
ball of wax
hold your horses start from scratch
wooden nickels ace up your sleeve
hair of the dog
all Greek to me
axe to grind
behind the eight ball
bigger they are
the harder they fall
jack of all trades cat's got your tongue
fair weathered friend
like father like son
small world
on thin ice
speak of the Devil roll of the dice
blood's thicker than water
lie like a rug
dime a dozen
when push comes to shove
dog eared pages
eye for an eye
bury the hatchet how time flies clean as a whistle C
chew the fat
crime doesn't pay. cover my ass
throw me under the bus gentle as a lamb
cold shoulder
hit the fan
buyer beware
woman's work never done
never say never
takes one to know one
come Hell or high water
pissing in the wind
pretty as a picture through thick and thin
beat a dead horse pass the buck
whole nine yards down on my luck
life’s a
don't rock boat
needless to say
go for broke
My life is the sum of trite cliches
Jaded expressions
so worthless so worn
I couldn't give it away
Bad news likes to travel fast,
Much quicker than the good
And you can’t stop it even if
You pause to knock on wood.
It’s like a snowball, growing as
It barrels down a hill,
Unstoppable and uncontrolled
As oil from a spill.
Through phone or text or face to face
The knowledge makes its rounds,
For once the news is negative
It spreads by leaps and bounds.
Technology can’t take the rap
For even in the past,
When something bad took place, that news
Would always travel fast.
I used to walk carefree around this world,
My shoulders light and free of any chips
Not thinking fate would ever come unfurled
By nonsense escaping naïve lips
I thought Murphy ’s Law was ludacris
Karma for a mind that over thinks
Superstition existed to dismiss
All part of fate’s anxiety hijinks’
Until it came to my moving day
I lived high up on the 11th floor
Casually to the moving guys, “Hey,
Do this quick, I’ll tip you a little more.”
A few shortcuts to speed things up a bit
“What’s the very worst that could happen?
Throw straps on that piano, get on with it,
Hurry up now, I’m too busy to tap in.”
Off I went to an important meeting
Signed the client that made everyone wary
Called 3 times for this face to face greeting
I wonder why they call her bloody Mary
No bad ever gets to me, nothing could
I stepped on cracks all the way home, too
And I refuse to ever knock on wood
Who could be so down with a sky so blue!
I peered up toward the aforementioned sky
A feeling unfamiliar appeared
A trick of the reflection in my eye?
Or warnings come to fruition I feared
Hurtling down due to a broken pulley
Was my big beautiful baby grand
No one took the time to check it fully
And I stood right where it was to land
I wish now I watched my fate testin’ talk
Cuz that piano is really hummin’
Whose ivories tickled me into sidewalk
Damn, I guess I shoulda seen it comin’
January 27, 2023
Shoulda Seen it Comin' Contest
Sponsor: John Lawless
The Fortune Teller
By Rick Rucker
I sat there as my fortune was read,
Wondering if I would soon be dead,
As she turned over each new card,
The waiting was very hard,
Finally, she asked me to form, in my mind,
An important question, of any kind,
The answer would, to her be known,
She would receive it, as if by phone,
Then she would answer my query,
I admit, I was leery,
I had already paid her money,
And I wanted to know about me, and my Honey,
Would she, forever, be my mate?
Would being blissfully happy be our Fate?
After some lively interaction,
She answered to my satisfaction,
Now, we came to the crux,
This nervousness really sucks!
Now, for the big ending,
A wish, to the Spirit, I would be sending,
The most important thing in my life,
A wish, with emotion, rife,
I thought long, and hard,
My fortune dependent on my next card!
She talked before turning it,
Finally, I could hardly sit,
As I was getting weak,
She gave the card a little tweak,
It obediently turned face up,
Falling near my coffee cup,
I did not know what it meant,
My emotions were completely spent,
She said, “Oh, that is very good!”
I hit the table, to knock on wood,
My most fervent wish would come true,
But what it is, I can’t tell you,
To reveal it, might be a jinx,
That is what the fortune teller thinks,
But, in two decades, near the end of my life,
You can ask me, and my wife,
By then, we will have had the time,
To have a Life, so sublime!
a piece of wood inside this box
a bell to ring inside this box
a string to tie and untie inside this box
a list of instructions to write and rewrite
a wheel to turn, the wood to knock
close the box and ring the bell
must look at the instructions
take something out, and replace it with something else
schindler never saw this coming
a list of names
rules to the game
an interactive plot
ring the bell then knock on wood
knock on wood and tie a knot
tie a knott and open a box
secod guessing replacing something
what was is no more
what was no more is something to find
what is in this box to be passed on
the past in this box into the future
your reward to come you may find in this box
but maybe it might just be
a bell
a shoelace
and a piece of wood
and a door knob
the list of favorite thing
interactive game of tage
the list of names
and the rules of the game
replace the bell and prove you were the one who did it
so when this box comes back your way
the prize you will claim
game on
do you know what i know
there goes the neighborhood
"Knock-Knock!" - Who's there?
"Knock on would!" - Knock on wood who?
"Who the hell would ever knock on wood?!"
"What are ya some kinda unbelievable idgit?!"
"May I offer you a complementary pamphlet?"
"It explains how and why God loves you
more than anybody else ever could..."
If you jinx me knock on wood
Black cats stay out of my neighborhood
I dont trust owls even if it isn't white
If your bad luck get out of my sight
You walked under a ladder oh my dear
Holy crap I broke a mirrior
This isn't good at all you see
Because now bad luck will follow me!!!