Best Hurty Poems

I eat one more I will be sure to puke.
Almond no joy to me no more, no more
The kids re-gift each one to me for...

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A dental assistant named Bertie 
Found patients could sometimes get shirty 
One annoying old bloke
Would repeat the same joke
His appointment time was 'tooth hurty'

This old...

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I'm in the diner uptown, sitting around, b.s. ing with Teddy. Don't just stand there and say nothing to me, I got a hangover like...

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The dentist’s poised wearing his gown
I’m anxious, my face wears a frown
He’ll pull out my tooth
(Assisted by Ruth)
I’m thankful my panties are brown!

He powered up...

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My mammogram is due today
Twill be mammorable, I’ll say
Both boobies will hurty,
When squashed at 1.30,
Oh bother it’s on my birthday!


I’ll stand at the booby machine,
It...

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This raging toothache is driving me quite mad
I phone the dentist, in such terrible pain
Bad tooth must be extracted by the roots
They have a free...

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Doggerel II: Doggerel about Doggerel, or, More Nonsense Verse

The Board
by Michael R. Burch

Accessible rhyme is never good.
The penalty is understood:
soft titters from dark board rooms...

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Limericks VIII plus one Lead-In Poem



Updated Advice to Amorous Bachelors
by Michael R. Burch

At six-thirty,
feeling flirty,
I put on the hurdy-gurdy ...

But Ms. Purdy,
all alert-y,
kicked me where...

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I’m feeling great, I’m fine and dandy
So I treat myself to a sticky candy
I pop it in my mouth, start to suck
all of a sudden...

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The Bachelor Spectacular
by Michael R. Burch

One heart? Tossed aside.
The other? A bride’s.
In all his great wisdom, the bachelor decides.

Eeenie, mean-ie, mine-y, mo’,
one gal must stay...

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Erotic Poems I

Less Heroic Couplets: Marketing 101
by Michael R. Burch

Building her brand, she disrobes,
naked, except for her earlobes.


Erotic Errata
by Michael R. Burch

I didn’t mean to...

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You were dealt a bad hand
Cancer was never grand 
The day you turned thirty 
The call came in ten times the hurty
You were quite brave...

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