Best Hippopotami Poems
“Fair fa’ your honest, sonsie, face
Great Chieftain o’ the Puddin-race!”
“Address To A Haggis”, Robert Burns, 1786.
(Keeper o’er the Fourth Kingdom)
Robert, Robert, Fourth Kingdom
Gate Keeper.
No Telestial glory
Befits the poet deeper!
Wherefore is thy legacy
Robert Burns, regretfully
Wherefore is thy Haggis?
Thy Puddin’ flees before thee.
Thy Hippopotami give birth
Purple, purple, such deliver
The royal eggplant hatchling
That multiplies the giver!
Celestial porridge is thy claim
As such befits thy story
But no resplendent poet name
Perpetuates thy glory
Terrestial kingdoms blissfully
Reject that higher leaven
But thou hast won, delectably
That Kingdom Fourth of Heaven!
Watch out and wait. In fact stop listen and wait. Is that the wailing of a sail sailing by? Of course it is. The fact that an ironed breeze can touch a nautical knot is common knowledge amongst sailors and sailors are neither shaped sharpened sharpeners nor are they saying still shifts stillness. It is the opinion of the official orange kingdom that stalk the juice makers. Creators of squishing. Causing cannibalistic clothes cheating chatty climbers. It is neither within a dash nor a hash key that a full stop is found. And keys can be symbolic and symbolism of a metric metre can be taken to a few zoos to play with caged controlled boxed up animals who wish to run away. This they do with thuds akin to hooves. Strong fur and beaks can move and snap bars. And all are released. Good. Ha the ball is dancing to a top allegro tune in a sombrero and a tutu. Ha the tail of a car is chasing a cat around. Xxxxx multinational z z z z z. With a hypothetical hypothesis hearing harmonic hopping hippopotami z
The digestive system, what can I say,
A favorite to exercise many times a day.
It’s always working whether awake or asleep,
And most of the time you don’t hear a peep.
But once in a while, loud sounds can be heard,
If from someone else, then give them this word.
Borborygmus it’s called in the singular form,
But hearing it once is just not the norm.
Borborygmi it’s known as the plural kind,
But don’t let this words get you out of your mind.
Remember…
One hippopotami cannot get on a bus,
Cause one hippopotami is two hippopotamus.
Just memorize the words, load your burb gun,
Borborygmi means many, borborygmus means one.
Everyday I have lunch
With a pink hippopotamus
The menus always the same
Tomato soup and grilled cheese sandwiches
Oh, and Diet Cherry Coke
Cause he likes the way it tickles his throat
His friends sometimes stop by
To join the both of us
Hippopotami
If you're talking more than one of us
Or Hippo for short
If you're not into funny sounding words
Sometimes after lunch
Me and my friend the pink Hippopotamus
Like to take a drive
To the beach in his Minibus
He loves to catch the rays
Plus hang ten on a few waves
If you ever care for lunch
Feel free to join me and my Hippopotamus
But only if you like
Tomato soup and grilled cheese sandwiches
Because it's all that he will eat
Which is fine by me
Makes for easy cooking and cleaning
I hope you find my story life enhancing
About a man with elephantine thighs
When Twinkle-Toes O'Donnell started dancing
He chose a partner almost twice his size
The pair of them looked like two horses prancing
The judges simply disbelieved their eyes
But Twinkle-Toes and Daisy didn't care
They always held their heads up in the air
Each week they danced on Tuesday and on Friday
Rehearsing in between to get it right
They disregarded friends who asked them why they
Would waste their time together every night
Their sights were set on just one special high day
When they would step out dressed in black and white
For Twinkle-Toes and Daisy knew they'd share
The ribbon for the finest dancers there
To cheers all round they twirled like tiny fairies
These hippopotami of terpsichore
The style that wins a contest often varies
And dance like this was never seen before
The second best were dressed like two canaries
Our heroes danced these birdies off the floor
But Twinkle Toes and Daisy weren't aware
The balcony was unsupported T
H
E
R
E
A duck-billed platypus
Is bathing on the bus
She left her favorite stream
To join our swimming team
She did so well last year
Her lane was free and clear
Until the final leg
When Platy laid an egg
The hippopotami
Don’t eat the platy pie
Because the hippo bake
Is better served with cake
The platy pie who pluck
Are eating Peking duck
Because the ducks that pry
Are dinner by and by
I knew a platypus
Who shared her duck with us
My dinner pals were thrilled
Because the duck was billed
O what a cunning creature
To don a double feature
The mammal with a plus
A duck-billed platypus.
I went to the Frankfurt Book Fair the other day.
It was mind-boggling..
Books! There were fat books, thin books,
White books, black books, tawny books,
Paperbacks, hardbacks, beautifully bound books,
Pure books, lax books, learned books, lay books,
Plain books, books of many colours,
Books on every subject under the sun,
Not to mention other books on
Distant galaxies, pulsars, quasars, black holes,
Books on any theme you can think of,
Or on themes you can’t even pronounce, from:
Art to Arthropods,
Bees to Biochemistry,
Cats to Catastrophes
Drugs to Decadence,
Energy to Ergonomics,
French Cooking to Frescos,
Guns to Gout,
History to Hippopotami,
Internal Medicine to Icebergs,
Julius Caesar to Justification,
Kulturkampf to Kinetics
Lace to Logogriphs,
Man to Manchuria,
Nietzsche to Nonsense Rhymes,
Opera to Ophthalmoscopes,
Poodles to Pollution,
Quantum Mechanics to Queen Victoria,
Russell to Rabbits,
Shaw to Shingles,
Tao to Torts,
Urdu to Ultimatums,
Virgil to Vivisection,
Whales to Witchcraft,
X-rays to Xylographs,
Yoga to Youth Hostels,
Zen to Zola,..
By closing-time my legs were giving out.
A voice, it seemed, was saying:
“Of more than is taught by these, my son, take care.
Of making many books there is no end,
And much study is weariness of the flesh.”
I don’t know about making them, I thought,
As I commenced my get-away from the Penguin stand,
But it takes something of an athlete just to glance at them.
I felt crushed, not only by the crowds
but also by the weight of my appalling ignorance.
Bite Off More Than They Can Chew
How can someone be chocked up who we knew;
Have them Bite Off More Than They Can Chew;
Terrible diet;
Should not try it,
And then try to cram down mouth with a shoe.
Pediatrician and a Pedophile
When a pediatrician wants to trim off nails
And set out to sea and then smoothly sails,
With poor child;
Meek and mild;
Always does use a pedophile before he fails.
Hippopotamus and Disappearance
A hippopotamus always has a low clearance;
Follows rules and to them he has adherence;
In order to remove,
And things improve;
Need hippopotami to discover his disappearance.
Jim Horn
pickle a paper and print paint playfully pointing pins
Knitting needles in a fish and chip shop is about as useful or as necessary as eating a soup with a spade. Dramatic are the arriving interludes of splashing drops of juice omitting from the clouds above. Circling is not just for dove it is also used by spotted leopards who never wear leotards anyway so never wave goodbye dressed in a bright pink tutu if you are otherwise engaged in deep conversation with a clown ship. Oh giant wrath from canned peas. Do you not understand that you are only allowed to speak when you are boiling? Yes. Boiling. Now good go to sleep. And stop banging. Bring no erratic iron to a visionary contemplation gathering at dusk. And into one melting pot there is always much lava so please wear a balaclava and smile over fifteen times at a flame. And wave. Wave. Go on wave. It is the grin from within a flamed fork that the beetle most admires. Very very proud species with a tale of tantric takeaways. Often a sideways dash off to a milder tent. And always ensuring that the levels of the ground in a swamp are correctly adjusted to reflect the size and the weight of all the passing wildebeest, hooked rhinos, hippopotami and the sponge cake. Right now go and drink eighteen ladles.of tea and make a donkey sound loudly. Hahah. Missionary mice making meat. Hahaha lettuce loving leaping linguini. And a peppered steak grin. Xxxx hypotenuse Z z z
Rolled twenty four hour emblem
Seraphim wing big bugle salute
Brass hark sinking eve rendered
In mango skin peach bleed fruit
Feeding starved ice vivid sphere
Jelly spread scone sweet revere
Flambe set circle tart crumbles
Untouched chains gold dissolve
Serpent thin silhouette humbles
Orange scorch ball's Hell resolve
Tempers the tepid forget me not
Stamen seed violet hippopotami
7th March
Sunset Marvel
Oh! I’m very glad that I
Am not a Hippopotami
And should I ever get the choice
It’ll not be Hippopotamoice
© John W Fenn 15-Feb 2009
A BUNCH OF “WHY'S”
Could you tell me why most hippopotami
Weigh about the same as a truck
In the animal kingdom diets aren't common
So they're really poop out of luck
A donkey with wings or an ass that sings
Quite an image I have in my mind
Some like listening to a cockatoo warble
But I think that's quite asinine
Now why do most newborns poop at will
They emerge without any manners
Farting in front of friends and neighbours
Sure makes you stutter and stammer
When misplacing an important document
You find it in the last place you look
Why not look there in the first place I wonder
You'll be stunned at the short time it took
Admit I ain't perfect but who the hell is
Sometimes I dribble in my beard
Imagine it sounds quite disgusting to you guys
A snack for when bedtime is near
Why do we cringe at the sound of one's nails
Screeching across a blackboard
Sends chills up and down our li'l ole spines
Can feel 'em right now, oh Lord!
If more than just one hippo
Are hippopotami,
Do you guess a pair of rhinos
Would be pronounced rhinoceri?
And if you crossed a rhino
With a hippo, do you guess
You'd get a horned hippoceros?
Or an angry rhinopotamus?
A Chowder Of Cats
There's a chowder of cats on the corner
an exultation of larks in the sky
a troop of monkeys high in the trees
where the rhino's doth daily crash by
A pack of dogs patrolling the lane-way
a herd of cows at rest in the byre
a bellow of bullfinches grasping hawthorn
A mischief of mice staying warm by the fire
A parliament of owls swoop over golden corn
where an army of caterpillars stay low
a flock of sheep look down from the hills high above
a congregation of alligators sleeping in a row
A pandemonium of parrots rudely laughing
an unkindness of ravens unamused
a drove of bullocks seriously unimpressed
a bloat of hippopotami singing twelve-bar blues
Could you tell me why most hippopotami
Weigh about the same as a truck
In the animal kingdom diets aren't common
So they're really poop out of luck
A donkey with wings or an ass that sings
Quite an image I have in my mind
Some like listening to a cockatoo warble
But I think that's quite asinine
Now why do most newborns poop at will
They emerge without any manners
Farting in front of friends and neighbours
Makes you stutter and stammer
When misplacing an important document
You find it in the last place you look
Why not look there in the first place I wonder
You'll be stunned at the short time it took
Admit I ain't perfect but who the hell is
Sometimes I dribble in my beard
Imagine it sounds quite disgusting to you guys
A snack for when bedtime is near
Why do we cringe at the sound of one's nails
Screeching across a blackboard
Sends chills up and down our li'l ole spine
Can feel 'em right now, oh Lord!
© Jack Ellison 2013