Best Hah Poems
HALLOWEEN FUN
Carving the pumpkin, oh such fun
How they danced when dad was done
Twisted mouth with large, black eyes
To scare the kids, then pumpkin pies
Hear those darlings on the street
Tiny fingers, tiny feet
Soon they’ll ring the bell and shout
“Trick or treat. Hand outs!”
But see old moon, he’s hanging high
A big gold searchlight in the sky
Just peeping o’er, the sun has set
With rosy, glorious hue, and yet,
A solar quake now rumbles forth
Spewing flame toward the earth
Those fiery rays have stirred the dead
The night is bright, the moon is red
Check the time – it’s nine o five
Jack O Lanterns come alive
Oh, how they cry, each frightened child
Belegged pumpkins running wild
I’ll tell you how kids went to bed
Twas in the ground without a head
Those empty gourds were hearty fed
The night was cursed, the moon was red
Moo haha! haha! haha! hah OH
Haha! haha! haha! HAH!
Dave Austin
Sighed Adam to Eve:
“Because you were deceived,
Like a fool, I believed.
Sadly, all our conceived
Will be sorely bereaved.”
Well, that should be it, right?
No, boys and girls, not quite!
So you can hear what they were all up to,
We now bring this long lost tape to you:
Adam:
“You really are a stupid cow!”
“Just look at us! Where are we now?”
Eve:
“Shut up! You filthy, pawing pig!
Before I kick you in the fig!”
Angel of the Lord:
“You’ll have to leave, take this outside.”
“Your presence here, we can’t abide.”
And of course, the slinky one:
“Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah!”
“She’s such a fool and so is he.
If I had hands, I’d clap with glee.
If the rest of them are all like that,
I’ll soon have my routine down pat!
But I’d better scoot before they crush
My poor wee head to compost mush.
I’ll set up shop, lead them all astray
And collect them all for Judgment Day!”
“Hah, Hah, Hah, Hah, Hah, Hah!”
For now, that’s all that we can send.
Thank you for your time, my friends.
So, remember, girls, no fruit to lend,
And boys, say “NO!” or it is THE END.
Mom caught her boob in the washer’s wringer
Rotor made Mom an opera singer
Tit for tat, she got redder
Pop struggled with the lever
I pulled the plug, was able to spring ‘er
Wow! Mum is the word on this awful day
We don’t refer to this deed of foul play
“Hah! Your Dad’s a dud," she cried
As with pain pills she was plied
Now under the radar Pop stays away
*Entry for David William’s Palindrome Mad Contest
By Carolyn Devonshire
Palindrome Words:
Mom, boob, rotor, tit, tat, redder, Pop, Wow, Mum, refer, deed, Hah!, Dad, dud, radar
hi-jack my haiku?
Hah! You jacked the wrong ku
You stole a senryu
I hide my haikus
safe and sound beneath silly
senryus such as this
Hark and heed this Hank!
Stealing somebody’s senryu
is scandalous but
heisting a haiku?
holding a haiku hostage?
That's horrible Hank
I guess I’m narcissistic
I suppose I’m masochistic.
Fitting into just another statistic.
Hah, go figure.
I guess this is my delusion.
I suppose I enjoy seclusion.
Pardoning me from inclusion.
I like being alone.
I guess I am depressed.
I suppose I am obsessed,
With this I am possessed.
It is my only friend.
Man in Kitchen
So this is it, this place I’ve never been
I wander in and find it’s kept pristine
So this is where she disappears
And later on the food appears
Ah well! I’ll have to do my best
I think I’ll try that chicken breast
All I have to do right now
Is figure out the where and how
Unsuccessful, heaven knows
Why these things come all froze
But of one thing now I’m sure
There’s nothing for me in that drawer
Boiled potatoes, that sounds nice
Maybe with a pan of rice
Doors are banging, pans are flying
She can’t say that I’m not trying, hah
How much rice should I whack in
Sod it, shove the whole pack in
In the pan the waters pouring
This cookery I’m am so exploring
Pans are bubbling, all seems well
I’m creating such sweet smell
Now I see the rice exploding
And potatoes are imploding
This is harder than I thought
An easy meal I tried to sort
All my efforts are now gloop
So think I’ll fill on poetrysoup
Later on that night she says
Lets move the earth in many ways
Sorry dear, tonight no quakes
I have one of your headaches
Richard D Seal
11 March 2013
You looked up to the skies
Praying angels would guide your voyage… sigh
Away for the brutality, of Assad and his war
You escaped, brothers three in arms
Loving, and wanting to build a better score
Wishing peace and happiness, to bury all wars strife
Dreams of an engineer filled with hope and new life
The irony is that you would have to fear
Some engineer before you, who let the fires
Kill the poor the small and unspoken ones
Assad you see appears in many forms
Evil and greed often born of the same seed
I only say to you and your brothers
We weep for you, one and all, no one should suffer
I too now, have a dream
A building, beautiful, majestic and masonically tall
Named after a builder who lost his future in London’s fall
To the British elite who care not at all
Dignity belongs to all people, no matter small or tall
TIME KEEPER
Early morning
Late p.m.
These could be thankful periods of silence
The world drowsy
Or still asleep
And my teeming head hopefully
emptied out
What marvelous devolvings might be refreshed
When one is in a nothing state
The clatter of dreams and strivings finally settled
on the kitchen floor
I would borrow absence from my cat
He sits on the window sill head on paws
serene aggravating!
Yes so apparently empty he I am sure
isn’t aware of the ticking
The tick tick ticking of my large kitchen
clock
To my sensitive awareness like hail stones
on a flat tin roof
Yes! really a clack clack horrible clacking
And my cat?
Hah!
What is time to him?
Zip!
Nada!
This wretched inflicting of time on the eternal
Dave Austin
I was out walking my dragon, when I came across a Dogasaurus Rex.
It really wasn’t so bad until; they got into a real life-pissing contest.
My dragons’ roar was way less than his, and spitting fire, he couldn’t do.
So they squared off, eyes aglow, and yep, a true pissing contest did ensue.
Now, that was really icky, and flooded my neighbors whole lawn, ewww.
Well, it smelled awfully bad, but when they got going, what was I to do.
And a pooper-scooper does not work here, so I had to wait till both were thru.
If there wasn’t enough testosterone, now my neighbors’ was added, to the brew.
A mean old codger lived right there, and now, even he, was royally pissed.
Watering the lawn wouldn’t send it away; it would spread it more, amiss.
I ran to get my neighbor witch, who was laughing her head off, yes, indeed.
I’d need her help to save the yard, and with the old codger, to finally succeed.
The old codger amazed, started adding, held in, bubbling laughter, to the brew.
Seems he’s a lonely old man, with not enough fun added in his life, it’s true.
He tapped his foot, as his dogasaurus Rex did more, what was I to do, in truth?
I became worried, it would be the death of him, if he didn’t laugh out loud, forsooth.
I ask the dragon, to burn the yard, to save us all, but he just snickered more, thereon.
How, you ask, was I to extradite myself? I went home to put a fire retardant suit, on.
Coming back I kicked, the dragon in his butt, for always being so crazily, put upon.
That quickly brought his fire on me, as I took it into the middle of the yucky lawn.
With the taunting done, the icky stuff gone, the witch put the grass back, with great skill.
Then, the dragon started laughing, his butt off, while thinking I’d owe the witch’s bill.
Hah! He was incredulous, as I said; he’d do the witch’s bidding, till it was fulfilled.
Then, the silly dragon, down right cried, as I told him, the walkies, would now be nil!
But, Grandpa Troll intervened, with us both in timeout, again, facing across the lake.
And, the old codger, spent the rest of his life happy, entertaining the town, with our fate.
From then on, the dragon and dogasauraus, were seen everywhere, as great playmates.
And me, I always carry an umbrella, so Dragon can never rain on my parade…
Are You listening, God?
I'm not perfect; I'm flawed--
Spoke not the truth; 'twas all fraud.
And did they applaud? Hah! They guffawed.
Are You listening, God?
I'm weak; I'm not tough:
Not strong, a creampuff;
Like twinkies, cotton candy, fluff.
Are You listening, God?
I thought I was brilliant; I was dull:
My 'great ideas' all came to null.
No genius was I; I had a numb skull.
Are You listening, God?
Then hear my plea:
I confess to my abysmal condition;
Have mercy on me and on my petition.
Why SHOULD You help, You say?
Isn't it enough that I pray?
Well, You're right. I need to do better; I need to improve.
I need not to grumble; I need to be humble.
I need not to curse and make things worse when I stumble.
And now that I've tumbled,...
I need to show that I mean it when I say I'll do better;
A man's word is his bond, right down to the last letter.
I'm going to improve! You just wait and see.
So, thanks for having this little pep talk with me!
Sitting on this bed, is large enough
Me to him, hands frantically talking
On paper, he replies: “It’s rough,
I won’t deny. One day you’re walking”.
Angry shrug, hah! Heard it all before.
Those friendly words won’t last:
“Don’t judge yourself by your past
You don’t live there anymore”
This rock, it’s cold, if creeps up spines
It refuses comfort, it’s unforgiving
Writing goodbye in a hundred lines
Past is why future is not worth living
Scared, cold, and lonely to the core
Incomprehensible words, a shadow cast:
“Don’t judge yourself by your past
You don’t live there anymore”
Wind blows my written words away
Language shattered in the wind
In the distance glows the day
In a myriad sparkles and I find
It hard to say: “I want no more”
So I turn around and go back fast
“Don’t judge yourself by your past
You don’t live there anymore”
It came so close, I was so near,
The wheels are squeaking madness
Not wanting death, but living fear
Anger, resentment, sadness.
But in my head the real words tore
And understanding there, at last:
I am done judging by my past
I don’t live there anymore!
A geisha today a convict tomorrow
My mouths are all speaking
Blah Glad and Hah Sad
I cannot hear them for I am done
Broken and cracked, an egg of myself
A cowgirl whose nose is out of joint
A different smell than others have
My green eyes are a glory to my face
Looking at me from a mirror
Only I understand, and no one else can see
I am holding things together with
A pretend hand.
Secretly conducting a mariachi band.
A geisha today, a convict tomorrow.
If you knew what I was thinking
You would be ahead of the game.
I have mouths that listen and a nose
That speaks. I have eyes that don’t see
The cracks at all, loving myself
In spite of the blah glads and hah sads
I am all I have got, and it is more
Than enough.
A geisha today, a convict tomorrow.
Always
Believe
Can't
Deceive
Everybody
For
Good
Hah
Inside
Joke
Killers
Like
Me
Never
Offer
Pardons
Questions
Reality
Several
Times
Until
Vengeance
Will
Xray
Your
Zest
Lets have a good laugh, ha-ha- hah ha-ha
Now that we laughed,I feel better, Do you?
I have once pulled out my hair.
Eaten my tongue and sliced the skin.
Closed my throat and-hanging-flailed.
Cross the Styx in death's boat I've ridden.
Dying-slowly-with bones weak and frail
by darkness and despair as I see no light.
My heart weighs heavy for the test it failed:
too sick to be a human, quite.
I have danced to the tune of Pan,
and sang a song to the Man in the Moon.
Tossed off my clothes and naked I ran,
to my grave as I face my doom.
Dark closing in on the left and right,
as I close the doors to my tomb.
A human? Hah! Not a human quite.
I have felt the cold steel of chains.
My wrists internally raw.
Grit my teeth in all my pain-
in my face, 'tis the Horned One you saw.
I have abandoned this hopeless flight,
and been lost in a sea of flaws.
Too flawed to be a human, quite.
I have once been clear as air:
Invisible, yet you breathe.
As air, I am treated rarely ever fair.
You walk through me all the while I seethe.
I am nothing-you are immune to my plight,
for in me you will never believe.
For I will never be human, quite.