Another Book of Genesis

Sighed Adam to Eve:
“Because you were deceived,
Like a fool, I believed.
Sadly, all our conceived
Will be sorely bereaved.”

Well, that should be it, right?
No, boys and girls, not quite!

So you can hear what they were all up to,
We now bring this long lost tape to you:

Adam:
“You really are a stupid cow!”
“Just look at us! Where are we now?”

Eve:
“Shut up! You filthy, pawing pig!
Before I kick you in the fig!”

Angel of the Lord:
“You’ll have to leave, take this outside.”
“Your presence here, we can’t abide.”

And of course, the slinky one:

“Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah!”

“She’s such a fool and so is he.
If I had hands, I’d clap with glee.
If the rest of them are all like that,
I’ll soon have my routine down pat!
But I’d better scoot before they crush
My poor wee head to compost mush.
I’ll set up shop, lead them all astray
And collect them all for Judgment Day!”

“Hah, Hah, Hah, Hah, Hah, Hah!”

For now, that’s all that we can send.
Thank you for your time, my friends.
So, remember, girls, no fruit to lend,
And boys, say “NO!” or it is THE END.
Copyright © | Year Posted 2010

Poem

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12
Rodrigues Avatar
February 2, 2018 at 6:48 AM
Wow! Fantastic! Just checking out this form! You have depicted here the truth of the matter! Oh how couples argue and vehemently with ugly words and the compost serpent laughs and claps like the proverbial monkey with cymbals... but for God who interjects... Blessings!
Flats Avatar
December 13, 2016 at 10:16 AM
Well I'm a little slow in getting around to reading this (I'm chasing McWhirtles this morning), but I'm sure glad I did!!! Many giggles here, (the fruit of your labors;-). Thanks! Always happy to find giggles in the archives. Cheers ~ john
Duncan Avatar
April 11, 2011 at 5:32 PM
I really love your words ;} I was raised catholic,, can't make fun,, congrats on your contest win ;} ;}
Haick Avatar
June 5, 2010 at 7:47 PM
This has always been a winner from the Ist time you wrote it, Gerard! My congratulations on your Ist Place Win!! Great job! Peace, love, Audrey
Cwiak Avatar
June 2, 2010 at 12:26 AM
Great write! I'm glad they didn't have 18 min. missing from the tape...lol Congrats on your win the contest! Dan C
Fraser Avatar
June 1, 2010 at 11:33 AM
Gerard, many congratulations on your deserved win in Linda-Marie's contest >> James
Kelly Avatar
May 31, 2010 at 10:46 PM
GK Jnr , well deserved ,like I said earlier to you , witty & cleverrrrrrr ....
K. Avatar
May 31, 2010 at 5:40 PM
Super congrats on your win with this other version of Genesis, Gerard! What an enjoyable read--& haha that "kick in the fig" line is just priceless :)
Mehta Avatar
May 31, 2010 at 5:08 PM
Congrats for the first place
Sweetheart Avatar
May 31, 2010 at 4:32 PM
Congrats Gerard on being my number one first place winner in my ADAM in Eden contest with this perfect entry... dialogue..scenes... parts.. conversation between the characters.. and funny too.. a well deserved win Gerard.. enjoy.. with luv from the "Sweetheart"
Dietrich Avatar
May 26, 2010 at 5:37 PM
what linda here said, devilishly good., Like a devil's cake!! Me likes. Andrea ps kicking him in the fig was so funny
Milgate Avatar
May 24, 2010 at 10:00 PM
Devilishly good
Mehta Avatar
March 26, 2010 at 6:02 PM
Congrats for the won, Gerard
Haick Avatar
March 25, 2010 at 2:29 PM
Hey Gerard, I'm sending you an e-mail. pls lookout for [email protected], ok? Thanks. Audrey
Haick Avatar
March 25, 2010 at 2:24 PM
Gerard!! This is awesome, guy!!! I've never ever heard this scene dipicted this way! Thank you for the laughter today....And thanks for your always encouraging and kind comments for me and my Jimmy....Peace and love, Audrey
Anderson Avatar
March 23, 2010 at 1:38 PM
Hey Gerard, Congratulations on your win in the contest!! Thanks for leaving comments on my writes.. I'm leaving this for Jimmy at his request. ...Peace, Audrey
Haick Avatar
March 23, 2010 at 1:25 PM
Very good, creativity at its best, Gerard! Congratulations on your fabulous win in the contest. Peace, Audrey
Kelly Avatar
March 23, 2010 at 4:56 AM
Witty / clever and well deserved to be in the winners circle , GK Jnr. . Best wishes from " Granny Smith " .....
Villarosa Avatar
March 20, 2010 at 1:21 AM
Creative write and funny concept. Congratulations! on your well-deserved win, Gerard. (^_^) Noel
Johnson Avatar
March 19, 2010 at 8:48 PM
You wrote about a serious issue and made it funny. Congratulations. Joyce
Culverhouse Avatar
March 18, 2010 at 12:04 PM
funny, congrats on the win, enjoyed!!
Freeman Avatar
March 18, 2010 at 10:22 AM
Congrats on #4 place Gerard. Agape, Moses
Tugaff Avatar
March 18, 2010 at 8:10 AM
Congratulations for this nice funny poetry. Ernilando
Devonshire Avatar
March 18, 2010 at 7:30 AM
Congratulations on your win, Gerard! Great poem. Got a "kick" thinking of Eve kicking Adam in the fig! Love, Carolyn
White Avatar
March 18, 2010 at 6:18 AM
Well done- some funny introspect Congrats
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