Another Book of Genesis

Sighed Adam to Eve:
“Because you were deceived,
Like a fool, I believed.
Sadly, all our conceived
Will be sorely bereaved.”

Well, that should be it, right?
No, boys and girls, not quite!

So you can hear what they were all up to,
We now bring this long lost tape to you:

Adam:
“You really are a stupid cow!”
“Just look at us! Where are we now?”

Eve:
“Shut up! You filthy, pawing pig!
Before I kick you in the fig!”

Angel of the Lord:
“You’ll have to leave, take this outside.”
“Your presence here, we can’t abide.”

And of course, the slinky one:

“Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah!”

“She’s such a fool and so is he.
If I had hands, I’d clap with glee.
If the rest of them are all like that,
I’ll soon have my routine down pat!
But I’d better scoot before they crush
My poor wee head to compost mush.
I’ll set up shop, lead them all astray
And collect them all for Judgment Day!”

“Hah, Hah, Hah, Hah, Hah, Hah!”

For now, that’s all that we can send.
Thank you for your time, my friends.
So, remember, girls, no fruit to lend,
And boys, say “NO!” or it is THE END.

Copyright © | Year Posted 2010



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Date: 2/2/2018 6:48:00 AM
Wow! Fantastic! Just checking out this form! You have depicted here the truth of the matter! Oh how couples argue and vehemently with ugly words and the compost serpent laughs and claps like the proverbial monkey with cymbals... but for God who interjects... Blessings!
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Date: 12/13/2016 10:16:00 AM
Well I'm a little slow in getting around to reading this (I'm chasing McWhirtles this morning), but I'm sure glad I did!!! Many giggles here, (the fruit of your labors;-). Thanks! Always happy to find giggles in the archives. Cheers ~ john
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Date: 4/11/2011 5:32:00 PM
I really love your words ;} I was raised catholic,, can't make fun,, congrats on your contest win ;} ;}
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Date: 6/5/2010 7:47:00 PM
This has always been a winner from the Ist time you wrote it, Gerard! My congratulations on your Ist Place Win!! Great job! Peace, love, Audrey
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Date: 6/2/2010 12:26:00 AM
Great write! I'm glad they didn't have 18 min. missing from the tape...lol Congrats on your win the contest! Dan C
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Date: 6/1/2010 11:33:00 AM
Gerard, many congratulations on your deserved win in Linda-Marie's contest >> James
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Date: 5/31/2010 10:46:00 PM
GK Jnr , well deserved ,like I said earlier to you , witty & cleverrrrrrr ....
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Date: 5/31/2010 5:40:00 PM
Super congrats on your win with this other version of Genesis, Gerard! What an enjoyable read--& haha that "kick in the fig" line is just priceless :)
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Date: 5/31/2010 5:08:00 PM
Congrats for the first place
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Date: 5/31/2010 4:32:00 PM
Congrats Gerard on being my number one first place winner in my ADAM in Eden contest with this perfect entry... dialogue..scenes... parts.. conversation between the characters.. and funny too.. a well deserved win Gerard.. enjoy.. with luv from the "Sweetheart"
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Date: 5/26/2010 5:37:00 PM
what linda here said, devilishly good., Like a devil's cake!! Me likes. Andrea ps kicking him in the fig was so funny
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Date: 5/24/2010 10:00:00 PM
Devilishly good
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Date: 3/26/2010 6:02:00 PM
Congrats for the won, Gerard
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Date: 3/25/2010 2:29:00 PM
Hey Gerard, I'm sending you an e-mail. pls lookout for dimples-10@hotmail.com, ok? Thanks. Audrey
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Date: 3/25/2010 2:24:00 PM
Gerard!! This is awesome, guy!!! I've never ever heard this scene dipicted this way! Thank you for the laughter today....And thanks for your always encouraging and kind comments for me and my Jimmy....Peace and love, Audrey
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Date: 3/23/2010 1:38:00 PM
Hey Gerard, Congratulations on your win in the contest!! Thanks for leaving comments on my writes.. I'm leaving this for Jimmy at his request. ...Peace, Audrey
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Date: 3/23/2010 1:25:00 PM
Very good, creativity at its best, Gerard! Congratulations on your fabulous win in the contest. Peace, Audrey
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Date: 3/23/2010 4:56:00 AM
Witty / clever and well deserved to be in the winners circle , GK Jnr. . Best wishes from " Granny Smith " .....
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Date: 3/20/2010 1:21:00 AM
Creative write and funny concept. Congratulations! on your well-deserved win, Gerard. (^_^) Noel
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Date: 3/19/2010 8:48:00 PM
You wrote about a serious issue and made it funny. Congratulations. Joyce
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Date: 3/18/2010 12:04:00 PM
funny, congrats on the win, enjoyed!!
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Date: 3/18/2010 10:22:00 AM
Congrats on #4 place Gerard. Agape, Moses
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Date: 3/18/2010 8:10:00 AM
Congratulations for this nice funny poetry. Ernilando
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Date: 3/18/2010 7:30:00 AM
Congratulations on your win, Gerard! Great poem. Got a "kick" thinking of Eve kicking Adam in the fig! Love, Carolyn
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Date: 3/18/2010 6:18:00 AM
Well done- some funny introspect Congrats
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