Best Gobs Poems
One night while stargazing, Dragon and I, got to see a falling star… descend.
I thought that would be great, so I told him he could make a wish on them…
But Dragon’s are really quite unique, and don’t always think, like you and me.
No, NOT at all! And you should believe, things began to unravel, immediately:
About to make that wish… He realized the moon descends every night.
And the sun descends, like the moon… every single day, at every Twilight.
Becoming horrified that so many wishes had gone by him, totally unused!
He decided to wish upon the star, that all past wishes, can now come, to be used.
There is logic here, I think, as Dragon hordes things; he’d do it with wishes, too.
When I tried to explain, that’s not how wishes work, they have to be rare and few.
With falling stars, it has to come from one, that came to ground, willing to share.
Now Dragon is a stubborn thing and decided, I wanted them all for myself, to snare.
He stomped his foot, as the 2 year old he is, crying he didn’t want to share not one.
So I patiently explained that there are bigger stars everywhere, bigger than our sun!
He was sure I’d done him wrong and had lied, after all, his eyes are very keen.
The bigger, the better, and our sun was the biggest thing, that he had ever seen!
It’s brightness has gobs of power, in fact, I’d said it powers all the Earth, he recalled.
So its wish couldn’t be small… he said it’s not nice, to not share, with him at all.
Now a tantrum was about to ensue, from our 2 year old who’d skipped his nap.
And don’t forget he’s a Dragon, too! It wasn’t a good idea to fall into this trap!
Some things are better to not go through. Why fight the battle, if you can stop the war?
In the end I took that wish… and wished I’d never took him on that wishful tour.
You know what? I did find that peace finally came back and did preside, in a wink.
As I got his blankie for his bed, and tucked him in so nice and neat, I paused to think.
Next year would be a better time, to view the meteor showers, after we both have…
A well-deserved nap. Don’t you think? When he’s a tad more grown up, I did add…
Besides my wishes, in the past, have served me well, as they brought him here to me.
And I ’d need one more wish this year, to help him when flying… to not hit the trees!
We gave Johnny a gun and a uniform
Trained him to kill, in a regiment conform
Sent him deep into Vietnam jungles warm
With little regard to how we did him harm
So certain we knew what we joined to fight for
We were shipped off to fight an unwinnable war
A war of "containment," unlike those before
Mothers screamed, fathers wept, siblings ached to the core
By parachute dropped to a ghastly death scene
Johnny ached for the life left behind, so serene
His family, fiance did not know what war means
Especially the haunting of lost children's screams
Those of us who survived thought we'd just done our jobs
We returned and were shamed by violent gobs
Of silver-spoon white kids in hate-spewing mobs
Spat-on and welcomed as baby-killer slobs
No heroes welcome would await these young men
No ticker-tape parades were staged for them
Just jeers from crowds, uncaring government
Greeted the lonely Vietnam Veteran
Too classy and noble to demand our fair share
We lay in that shabby old hospital there
In a closet-sized room with no visitors' chair
Understaffed, underfunded, with short-handed care
The "benefits" they found would astound all now
And it leaves one to wonder how our hallowed ground
Would be filled with unnamed graves of men once proud
Before the rows of white crosses we should bow
Our Wailing-Wall stands now in Washington, D.C.
So shiny but black, a telling-tale of the fee
We have paid for our nation, our land of the free
Will you come pay respects? Will you not at last see?
Some veterans still suffer disgraceful neglect
So please explain who more deserves our respect
Let us pause with angelic choirs and genuflect
To show gratitude as on this Wall we reflect
Friends, Dane Ann is among those who served in the army during the Vietnam war and is
now recovering from long-overdue hip surgery performed at an old VA hospital in
Gainesville, Florida. Thank you for your prayers on her behalf. Many thanks
to Tim Ryerson, another Vietnam veteran, for joining me in this write.
Cream puffs, pies, and chocolate brownies
Should surely be banned from the planet
They have no real value, no redeeming factor
We stuff our faces like gannets
Moms always says, “Johnie's got a sweet tooth”
So when he chows down like a pig
It gives him the okay to eat gobs of this stuff
Till he no longer can dance a jig
Now there ain't nuttin' bad 'bout being obese
Some very famous people are blimps
Won't name them here for the fear of a lawsuit
It would leave me tattered and limp
But cream puffs, pies, and chocolate brownies
Are delicious morning, noon, and night
For breakfast, lunch, or important meetings
They're evil but such a delight!
© Jack Ellison 2013
Those BURMA SHAVE signs used to give us kids something to do,
As down the highways and byways in our 1935 Dodge we flew!
The chef-d'oeuvre from the quills of very creative poets flowed,
Nailed to fence posts for our cultural enlightenment along the road!
Take note of this sign young reader as you pass this way!
In just a little while you too will be hoary and gray!
And like your Pa with steady hand be true and brave,
As you wield that straight razor usin' BURMA SHAVE!
She told her beau, "You remind me of a thug,
With that scraggly stubble sproutin' on yer mug!
If its my hugs and kisses that you crave,
Best ya start usin' BURMA SHAVE!"
The feller tried over and over to get a job,
But potential bosses thought him a slob!
Never apply for work looking like a knave!
Use gobs of BURMA SHAVE when you shave!
With her feller Mabel had a beef.
Claude's stubble caused her grief!
Said she, "Yer wreckin' our romance!
Ever thought of usin' BURMA SHAVE by chance?"
If on your mug you are well endowed
With stubble of which you're not proud
In the mornin' after yer kisser you scrub,
Liberally slather with BURMA SHAVE, old Bub!
Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired
(c) All Rights Reserved
I, too, dislike poems.
I’ve tried runes (and rampikes)
but that’s affected
rather than merely effete.
So I call them
figments.
When people query
What do you write?
at a barbecue or birthday party
I say soliloquies,
fractals,
fragments.
Self-similarities,
singularities,
sculptures (scriptures), geometric shapes and series,
three dimensional triangles, spheres
and differential equations,
fractured fairy tales,
Rocky and Bullwinkle,
rectal impactions.
On the other hand,
bits, bots, bytes
remnants, scrap, earth
gobs of phlegm in grains of sand,
shards of glass in a slice of hell,
hunks and clumps, curds and whey, sleet and pain, slap in the face
sub-atomic particles, cell organelles,
chunks of energy, cookie crumbs,
rusty trucks stuck in mud, dustings for ghosts,
just plain dumb luck, rocks, concrete, but not tweets.
Wake up fresh in the morning, free from daytime's infections
Splash a pot of coffee on your pristine complexion
Rev up your car's engine: Send a cloud of smoke into the air
Motor off to work: Emit toxic pollutants over the road everywhere
Sprint to your desk: Turn on the computers, the a/c and the lights
Ratchet up enough current to frazzle countless insects and mites
At break, leave the office: Enjoy a quick smoke
Then smell your clothes -- a tar-and-nicotine cloak
Back at your desk, sweat pours down your body
Mingled with the smell of your cloak, you're off to the potty
Where you befoul the toilet, the hallway and office
With tincture of excrement, exotic odor so nauseous ...
**********
Now this poem's not going to sink, burn or crash
Here's how to remove gobs of rubbish and trash
Step into the shower at the close of each day
Turn on the water full-throttle: Blast those germs away
Let the welcome droplets cascade down your head, face and arms
Wash the stench away with H2O's charms
Thoust message rings,
But it is a wretched beauty.
Sew up thine tongue;
It forks in many directions,
Ensnaring, passing through the centers,
Weaving a thread gleaming, deceivingly white,
Yet drenched in the black goo,
The sticky gobs of our source, our blood.
Cast aside thine needle,
Let time make it blunt.
Wallow in thine sorrow,
But only for a moment.
Up, up with you!
The sticky gobs cannot protect thee.
See me, Hear me.
For I see thee...
Thou hast split thine tongue
To hide, to forget.
Thine forked words, black to all, clear to me.
Go on, go ahead,
Walk through its enveloping black.
And when you cannot run,
Crawl.
And when you can’t do that anymore,
Find someone to carry you.
Thou art strong!
Let thine center give you new feet!
Yet,
If even thine center falls weary,
I shalt be thine legs.
I shalt carry you, my friend.
Love is being there for them every day.
A disappointed love taken away.
Cupid’s aim is higher than we believe.
We search for the one who will never leave.
Love is kind when our mundane tasks are done.
Love can be laughter, joy, and gobs of fun.
God gives us empathetic eyes to see.
Expecting happiness for you and me.
Love comes from flowers, from air, and the sky.
Love survives death, for our souls never die.
Love comes from lambs, puppies, furry kitties.
Love sings her song in cute little ditties.
Worthy treasure hunt, love is all around.
Your soul will know when the right one is found.
Written 03-08-19
Poetry Contest: What Is Love Poetry Contest
Sponsor: Silent One
Imagine if I possessed stunning good looks
Along with an adorable personality
I'd have to beat the ladies off with a stick
Love it if this was suddenly reality
Hollywood would continually be bugging me
To make millions from my glorious kisser
Certainly be renowned the whole world over
But dear Cathie, I'd surely miss her
I'd send for her as soon as I bought a mansion
Overlooking the beautiful blue sea
Would say farewell to my bevy of beauties
So honoured to have had a piece of me
This new cyber world allows for such musing
I could actually be of the opposite sex
Now I've really got you wondering haven't I
So you never know what to expect
Well I must confess I'm a ten year old genius
With a brain the size of a basketball
Eat gigabytes of data, morning, noon and night
And spit out gobs of wisdom to all
Imagine if I possessed stunning good looks
Dream on you old geezer, dream on
A major overhaul would certainly be necessary
And I don't think you've got that long
© Jack Ellison 2013
Special Days
Written: by Tom Wright
4/13/2006
It seems that for almost everything
We’ve set aside a special day.
We recognize others for their work
And sometimes for their play;
There’s a day set aside for Mothers
And likewise for Fathers too;
I’m sure that in this hodgepodge
There’s one that will cover you.
There’s a day to honor our Veterans,
Our police, firemen and teachers;
A National Fan Day even exists
For those who fill the bleachers.
There is New Years, and Ash Wednesday,
And Saint Valentine’s Day too.
And yes, the hard working Secretary
At last has been given her due.
We honor a few past Presidents,
Palm Sunday and beginning of Lent;
Our calendar has gotten so crowded
But Easter Sunday is time well spent.
We’ve Christmas, and Thanksgiving
And we recognize Flag Day too.
Then there’s Martin Luther King Day
And I suspect for a Boy Named Sue.
Armed forces and Daylight Savings
Each has their very own day.
Labor Day and Columbus too
Are remembered in this special way;
We’ve Election Day, and Bosses Day,
We honor the Devil on Halloween.
And then there’s old St. Patrick’s
For the donning of the green;
There’s Boxing Day and Yom Kipper
And the gobs between I’ve missed.
That I classify as the minor ones
I could name if you should insist.
Birthdays, and Anniversaries,
We treat really special too.
With all these days to remember
Just what is a guy to do?
Even old Phil the Ground Hog
His day has long been real.
It’s enough to cause a country boy
To shout, Hey, what’s the deal?
Anyone can write…
and drown in their self-delusions;
from persons into personifications
lists of passions, glorify self's illusions;
down those lists,
most veiled by incomprehension
one's passion is most often expressed
as the byproduct,
of misconstrued personal emotions;
therefore, in these briefs that follow
rest some seeds for those
whose mental fields lay perpetually fallow…
Xenocrates, his gods being unity and duality
i.e. episteme, aisthesis, and doxa
are lost to US,
by rue of epistemonike aisthesis;
Mersenne's numbers,
to Eratosthenes' sieve
Erd?os' factorization,
and Archimedes' constant conceived;
Holy vowels expressions!
Great Gobs of Goose shite, please!
release US from this context,
relieve this tumultuous tease;
probe Bertrand's Postulate,
exposing your thinking's
prime numbers seized;
however shallow, and wordless
your tongue tied thoughts do concede…
so many things are above me,
so many more lay beneath
my scratching, itching, and twitching
these are reminders of my simpleton's grief…
in this fiat before me
on these issues held, and in my beliefs
that my mind is much more
than the street corner tavern's
proverbial hat rack…
now that's a relief!
What is it within US?
that sullen darkness and introversion hides
those snide daily reminders
the eclipse of the sun
and or a debutante's swoon
a cheap parlour tricks wonder
or that pin-striped baboon's face
we each express as we howl at the moon…
Excuse me this meandering
but, it is my gut busting chortle
you now so surely conceive
that this little snippet from our dear William
does so help you believe
that we all live this one time
so as ourselves, do profoundly achieve
what your inquisitive conscience
exposes as your life's
most constant semibreve…
['Think of this life; but, for my single self,
I had as lief not be as live to be
In awe, of such a thing, as I myself.']
in conclusion of
this bit of confusion
do infuse this allusion
as your daily transfusion
of the smack of illusion
and the sole, blithe, transformational revolution
now necessary for your mindset's
ever changing and ongoing mental de-evolution.
Clyde's Fine Country Diner is located about a mile south of town.
If you're lookin' fer rib-stickin' grub, its the greatest place aroun'!
Clyde retired after cookin' fer twenty-two years in the U.S. Navy,
Servin' up gobs of SOS, more delicately known as biscuits 'n' gravy!
It ain't a fancy place, jes' some booths and a dozen tables er so,
Dominated by a friendly but saucy-tongued waitress named Ruby Flo.
Farmers in John Deere caps meet there fer breakfast ever' day.
The Baptist Ladies Aid Society meets each Tuesday noon to dine 'n' pray.
Country and Western blares from the juke box near the kitchen door.
Ain't no fancy carpet gracin' the place, jes' a squeakin' wooden floor.
The menu ain't changed much over the years but it is quite replete,
With homemade pies, toxic navy coffee plus plain good things to eat.
Sundays, he features fried chicken, peas and smashed pertaters,
Mondays, soup du jour and tossed salad with garden fresh termaters.
Tuesdays, Clyde offers Mexican with enchiladas and tacos in the shell
Wednesdays, the speciality is green chili soup, the hottest this side of hell!
Thursdays, you can enjoy all you can eat of macaroni and cheese.
Fridays, he features either chicken fried steak er a servin' of Chinese.
Saturdays, is his famous chef d'oeuvre, prawns and black angus steak!
It ain't a 5-star café but Clyde serves great grub, of that there's no mistake!
Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired
(c) 2015 All Rights Reserved
Little tiny Jellyfish,
you look like gobs of snot.
Then I went and stepped on you
and found out your not.
Little tiny Jellyfish,
your kiss really hurts a lot.
Next time that I walk the beach,
on snot I will step not.
Nothing else I tried worked except for something silly.
For "Jellyfish at the Beach" contest
Hosted by Susan Mills
Placement: 7th place
For the contest: Any Funny Poem
Placement: 12th
one day the jungles last best hope
was swinging from trees on a rope
when jane plotted a joke
hauling water which to soak
and lather vines with gobs of soap.
Erstime, ere bards nor Wondering Joyceters
did glybb their gobs with glanjous tongue,
Sir Slip The Most (a Figleafmoistner)
was undangled…and his sling unslung.
‘Twas on the Ile de Deux Sans Mustard,
with her Fowlling Fopplott never wording,
that the hunkerflesh-fed Fowlsome Bustard,
marked best by dark, was ever curdling.
Sir Slip, slop-upped and grammar-morphing,
from moltensteam one dawnless dread,
swear-foring most and all ef-alling,
did clopp young Fopplott's furgeld head.
The Bustard drubbed Slip: 'Dumcummayler!
To flump the sweet lad's yearnsomeness!
Bludaddled knight! Brain-drained wassailler!'
(Sweet Fopplott mock-loomed nasalfless)
"Clogsfyberbucks!" Slip rudblud obscented,
'That nert, that frot, that wibeljankie,
swombodled, gobbed, or sexcremented
God don't know notwot, in me hankie.'
The discompuncted Bustard illglimned.
Then, ventforthing with a scroatful shout,
she snouted, all redblynd and goredimned,
to clip Sir Slip a gobfilt clowt.
Bowelwildered, and fear-smeared arear,
and awefulled of trans-plonker stretch,
Slip, leaping to escape his nadir,
unware… did bare….. his hunkerflesh….
Hencetime, though bards and Wondering Joyceters
do glybb their gobs with glanjous tongue,
durst ne'er no Sir nor Figleafmoistner,
no furgeld Fowlling to one bung.