Best Dyke Poems

Dame van Dyke now reclines and relaxes,
while her lady-in-waiting re-waxes
      bristled shadowy skin
      of her...

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Oh Ganga! river so revered
your holiness purifies deep
if thy essence we let in seep.

From lord Shiva's hair you appeared
down the mighty Himalayas
quenching the thirsty souls...

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Such a long-winded line!
Still for me it is fine
Slips and rolls off the tongue
Simply meant to be sung
Sense it lacks by design.
Surveys give it a...

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LOST IN BRITAIN

Poling, Patching, Nether Wallop, 
Matching Tye and Droop

Plumpton, Lickfold, Puddletown, 
Westward Ho! and Throop.

Hole of Horcum, New Invention,
Boghead, Frome, Cat's Ash

North Piddle, Staines...

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Written: July 04, 2023
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A respected river, your holiness sublime.
Purifies within if we let your essence seep.
From the powerful mountains, you climb
Pious and deep, it cures...

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As one who grew up in a different era,
Pre-Brangeline and Californication -
When shows like Laugh-in or the Dating Game,
Bewitched or Dick Van Dyke were just...

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IMMEDIATELY PLEASE REMOVE ALL OF MY INFORMATION FROM YOUR DATA 
BASE FORTHWITH.
ALSO, ADVISE ANY AND ALL CONTRACTORS, SUB-CONTRACTORS, AGENTS, 
SUB-AGENTS, AFFILIATES, PARTNERS, COLLEAGUES, ASSOCIATES, CLIENTS,...

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Three cousins played a “game’ of war
A map of Europe spread across the floor
No adults there to keep the score
As each of them wanted more...

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Wrong!
A little boy plays football.
His parents call him a "tomboy".
He doesn't understand what it means.

Wrong!
The boy is now twelve.
His best friend gets her period.
And puberty...

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his
finger 
was firmly
stuck in the hole
stopping Netherlands from going under

fact or is it fiction hope Mary* knows 
little dutch boy
perceived haste 
blocking
dyke

used
sense ...yet
did not know
finger...

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Limericks VII - Naughty, Bawdy, Risque, Absurd

There continue to be modern sequels of the famous "Nantucket" limericks, including this bawdy one of mine:

There was a...

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I wonder if I’ve lived before,
And what my life was like.
Perhaps I was the boy who stuck
His finger in the dyke.
I could have been Napoleon
And...

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Whee am i, eh?
A'm Cumbrian thats whee, like eh.

Red, Green, Yellow

Once a year ower the Cumberland show,
Livestock, ter an' fro, ter an' fro.

Yan, Tan, Tether

Gypsies,...

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Remember Petticoat Junction?
Perhaps Green Acres too?
I Love Lucy and Carol Burnett,
Just for a laugh or two?

Dick Van Dyke and The Munsters,
Back when the "tube" was...

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THE   LEAVING   OF   LIVERPOOL


Giant  ferry berthed in  Mersey River :
Tugs  take the strain with a shiver,...

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