The Best of Edutainment

As one who grew up in a different era, Pre-Brangeline and Californication - When shows like Laugh-in or the Dating Game, Bewitched or Dick Van Dyke were just about The naughtiest you’d find on your TV - I'm now chillaxin' with some shows much better! Despite the violence and the sexploitation, There’s education everywhere you look. The singers I once listened to and loved Are now discussed in rockumentaries! And if you like your information spicy, Try faction on the channels like I.D. My father used to hog our TV set, And Wild Kingdom we’d all have to watch. But how much funner now to click on channels That show the strangest creatures in the world Like tigons, zedonks, geeps and beefalo! And if your labradoodle can’t be trained, You’ll find a whisperer to show you how. The woolaroc of nature can be viewed In brilliant colors, sometimes in 3-D! You’re not confined to black and white, 3 channels! Today they’re watching on ginormous screens Or tiny cell phones held inside your hand. The workout shows like those of Jack LaLanne Have been replaced by countless infomericals With hints fantabulous for keeping young. From jazzercise to tips of Dr. Oz, You’ll learn to make yourself be bootylicious. Your mental health is not neglected either, With folks like Dr. Phil to fill you in! Whether you’re a hasbian or shemale, A fugly guy, a horder, or a crackhead, There’s someone on TV to speak to YOU. Reality TV may not be smart, But it can come in handy if you need To learn some Splanglish or pick up a blaccent. The shows on cable redefine our world, Teach tolerance and much improve one’s gaydar. You learn that metrosexuals use manbags And guys like Blake and Adam on the Voice Give hugs because they simply have a bromance. To people saying that TV today Has gone to pot, I say, “Well, that’s ok!” My DVR is working day and night, So I can get the best of edutainment! Examples of Portmanteaus Used in My Poem: Brangeline: Brad Pit and Angelina Jolie Californication: California and fornication Chillaxin: chilling and relaxing Sexploitation: exploitation of sex Rockumentaries: Documentaries about Rock music Faction: fact mixed with fiction (exaggeration) Tigons: a tiger/lion zedonk: a zebra donkey Geep: a goat sheep Beefalo: A cow buffalo Labradoodle: Labrador poodle Woolaroc: woods, lakes and rocks Ginormous: gigantic and enormous Infomericals: informational commercials Fantabulous: Fantastic plus fabulous Jazzercise: jazz exercise Bootylicious: delicious booty(behind) Hasbian: temporary (has been) lesbian She-man: just what you think! Fugly: F-ing ugly Crackhead: someone on crack cocaine Spanglish: Spanish-English Blaccent: black accent Gaydar: gay radar Metrosexuals: metropolitan heterosexuals Manbags: purses used by men Bromance: romance between Bro’s (male friends) Edutainment: education that is entertaining!