Best Diarrhea Poems

This recession was a great idea
I've quit going to the pizzeria
I just don't eat anymore
Cause I am simply too poor
I can't even afford diarrhea...

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I've grown a bit slower, I've grown a bit fatter,
  my mission each hour: relieving my bladder.
When I was a youngster, I had no...

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He's staring off into oblivion;
dead-lights, who of their own free will choose to illuminate
the gray matter microwave that is TV:
too vain, too vulgar. Thought Vanquisher,
brought...

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A double sonnet in which the great detective and his faithful sidekick, Dr. Watson, alternately deduce the cause of Sherlock’s latest malady…

Part the first
Sherlock could...

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Too many hurricanes are causing havoc this season.  We might as well have a limerick collaboration about them since they seem to be in...

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Here we are in 1650, which is ten minutes to five
swing the wheel to the West, which is left,
put your sun cream away, man the...

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Water     /     Water
              New...

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"Vote for me! My opponent is a liar and a thief! I will make a change and rectify all!
I will raise your standard of living,...

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My personal physician
says I’m the picture of perfect health
Then he hands me the pharmaceutic scripts
Dr. Miyagi
makes me wonder sometimes,
if he’s a paid health insurance company...

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Friends don't let friends drunk dial
or drunk text
for some reason when alcohol mixes into the bloodstream
it is like a "hit or miss"
some people get drunk...

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Diarrhea and Constipation,
oh how I hate those two
One has you running all the time,
the other has you feeling
like a log is wedged inside of you
Those...

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Government policies that toilet stink
Presidentially approved 
by a potty-mouth politrician rat-fink

Give the progressive town halls
more executive bathroom stalls
Read the foul language scrawls 
on the Oval...

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(Created using the bAbBlE sentence generator, various text excerpts, and a minuscule bit of human editing.) 

And she smells good without keeping all ...

Beef, sitting...

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The fire chief was in a great big tight
Was holding his cheeks with all his might
At the bus station did stop
Cost a dime to use...

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