Best Diarrhea Poems
This recession was a great idea
I've quit going to the pizzeria
I just don't eat anymore
Cause I am simply too poor
I can't even afford diarrhea
D'ya know what one of the most dangerous acts can be
It's sneezing with diarrhea, must be apparent to thee
Explosive and bloody dangerous
Can leave you quite stressed
Stumble around looking stunned, unable to see
let's share what we have
some people have no filter ~
common sense ~ or shame
11/01/2021
Sun :) - A-L Andresen :)
Copyright © All Rights Reserved
Senryu - Humorous, Satirical or Dark Poetry Contest
Sponsored by: Tania Kitchin
2nd place in the contest
I read, that carrots help stop diarrhea,
I was amused and exclaimed: "Wow"!
It is not easy to imagine how,
Somebody put the carrot in his rear.
D o the fast run
I ntestines in a churn
A bdominal pain calls the shots
R un, run do the fox trot
R epeat as often as necessary
H ealth feelings quite unsteady
E nemas a thing of the past
A niseptic ointment cools fast
No feeling well..LOL...
The most miserable thing about diarrhea
Is that there is no available panacea
The more one squirts,
The more it hurts
When your family and friends say, “So long, we’ll see ‘ya!”
Written May 15, 2021
I ate dinner last night and felt fine
It was leftovers at 9
The next day I decided to go out to eat
I get a rumble in my stomach and begin to feel the heat
What did i do wrong, ate out tonight
Now I feel like a crazy bird in flight
I feel the pressure as I am stuck in a traffic jam in my Kia
Now I know your restaurant gave me diarrhea
I make it to the toilet, I sit in the stall
Plenty available at the Southern Hills Mall
Too much salt, piss and vinegar
I begin to feel dizzy, my sight begins to blur
I am not in the jungle and I am not Sheena
But facts are facts, your restaurant gave me diarrhea
My business is finished, I wipe and leave
I have a runny nose and blow it on my sleeve
As I depart the john I leave behind a green smog
The overall experience was too much for the toilet, it clogged
Good thing there is employees at six dollars an hour
I get home and take a shower
Too busy to talk, so I will see ya
Won't be another customer there, that restaurant gave me diarrhea
Click
When your walking in the store. Your butt hurts even more.
Diarrhea, Diarrhea.
When your driving your Shevi, your pants gets a little heavy.
Diarrhea, Diarrhea.
When you're taking a dance, oh no! You have chocolate pants.
Diarrhea, Diarrhea.
When your watching a couple birds, you feel a couple turds.
Diarrhea,Diarrhea.
When your tying your shoe, everyone sees your number two.
Diarrhea, (Oh yeah) Diarrhea.
Diarrhea? Oh yeah!
Diarrhea? OH yeah!
Diarrrheeeaa? Oh yeah!
UH, HUH.
Diarrhea.
Old Soldier's Disease:
Civil War soldiers would march
Pick and eat cherries
No toilet for them
No toilet paper either
Just woods, trees and leaves
The result's the same
Out fast and loose in the end!
Cherries are the pits!
Trump A Houdini
Trump had actually been a Houdini,
And we thought that he was a meanie;
After he did have a case of diarrhea,
He then ended up in North Korea.
Trump compared to Kim is much older,
And Kim's head equals Trump's shoulder;
One feature both had which was same;
Each tiny brain looked like it was lame.
Just for you Rohini
Jim Horn
Last night I had diarrhea
Even though it smelled real fruity
I quickly cleaned it up myself
After all, it was my duty!
Sure everyone's known someone with verbal diarrhea
Takes all our strength to refrain from throwing tortillas
Or bricks and sharp objects
Even a spinach omelet
Anything to stop the incessant yaking of this gorilla
D'ya know what the most dangerous human act can be
It's sneezing with diarrhea, must be apparent to thee
Explosive and bloody dangerous
Can leave you quite stressed
Stumble around looking stunned, totally unable to see
By Angeline Vine ©
No one wants to hear
about some
woman's period
and the comfort
(or size)
of her pad
No one wants to hear
phaquers sing about
diarrhea and indigestion
Especially at dinner time
when
these commercials play
It has been a short - lived career,
Former ones tried on Black Maria;
To soon start bearing A Pariah,
His story the same in Syria,
Which he had judged land of Moriah,
Jesus Christ leaving for Sharia
Stopped prayers for his Diarrhoea
A life of uncompleted jobs
With a strong heart that dully throbs
Two eyes that wouldn't see the snubs
And a right hand that nostrils rubs
It's a Jimmy Cliff's Foolish Pride,
So the setbacks he'd swept aside
With a radio as tireless
As its system is wireless
Reaching station of the tactless
For the funny and humorless.