Best Darwin Poems
The Darwin Awards are a posthumous honor, recognizing those who have improved the human gene pool by removing themselves from it by their own foolish actions.
In a robbery way out in Long Beach
Elliot's handgun misfired in the breech
Down the barrel he took
A quite scatterbrained look
Then made it more than a figure of speech
There was a foolish fellow named Gary
Who gulped gasoline over near Cary
The fuel made him gag
So he fired up a ***
And now smokes in the state mortuary
"Look, no helmet!" Phil proudly decried
In the headgear disobedience ride
He stood for his rights
Then put out his lights
When he flew off his Electra Glide
An impatient Korean got miffed
And was ramming the doors of the lift
Then went a bit daft
When he got the shaft
But his ride to the bottom was swift
References:
http://jdgroover.wordpress.com/2013/08/20/the-2013-darwin-awards-are-out/
http://www.darwinawards.com/darwin/darwin2012-03.html
http://www.darwinawards.com/darwin/darwin2011-03.html
http://www.darwinawards.com/darwin/darwin2010.html
Charles Darwin
was a margin
off his rocker when he, ashamedly,
got caught swinging from a tree.
If I shave with Occam’s razor
I will only grow a gross beard;
And all my scientific friends
Will think that I am truly weird.
If I want a small feline pet,
Should I adopt Schrodinger’s cat?
Will its fur be real, soft, and smooth;
Or will I only think it so?
If life, Darwin wrote, rose random,
And that is how I came to be,
If I sought to recreate me
Would I find that I had no chance?
If I find Yogi’s fork, in road,
And take it to get dirty rice
Would I find a place so busy
Nobody goes there anymore?
If I saw a Mobius strip
At a past midnight burlesque show
I’d see each curve, inside and out
‘Til my dazed mind went off the edge.
If I race up Max Escher’s stairs,
On his twisted angular trail,
In search of Babel’s pinnacle,
Will I ever reach his roof top?
If I muse, did Thinker find love
In the Venus de Milo’s arms
Before Rodin cast his great mind
Into a nude body of bronze?
Tangled thoughts, twisted pretzels,
Floating in the primal soup.
Rotated spiral polyhedrons,
Interlaced by simple threads.
Bound complex rules fuses brew.
Hearty crawling evolutionary stew.
Has anything been known to replicate?
Stack of stuff, millions, billions.
What right is given primordial seas
To have children, offspring, grandkids?
Hundreds of thousands of combinations,
Worked by chance, choice, millennia.
Replication, duplication, deception
Explain it again, I believe
What I have been taught.
Accepting these principles,
Otherwise, what shall I believe?
The creatures that live in the sea,
Are not like you or like me.
No taxes they pay,
They frolic all day;
Now which would the "smart" species be?
Composed by Vera Selena Hinshaw
(© All Rights Reserved)
Theory of evolution
is mocked by God
Lamb and wolf sleep together
Isa. 11:6
Charles Darwin Shocks the World
By Elton Camp
Darwin’s father made it plain as could be.
“When you grow up, go into the ministry.
That’s an occupation respectable enough.
The schooling it requires isn’t very tough.”
A respectful son, he tried hard to obey,
But learned he didn’t believe that way.
Some church doctrine he couldn’t accept.
Of reason and common sense it was bereft.
None dared the belief to critique
Which said all was made in a week.
In Genesis “day” is used three ways.
But churches were in a mental daze.
Unable to accept a belief so inane,
From being a preacher he did refrain.
“Anyone who has eyes to see
From such a timeline will flee.”
“Since the churches are so mistaken,
My own faith they’ve badly shaken.
On an ocean voyage I came to understand
How ages were used for life on this land.”
He never said that apes became men.
Or just how he thought life did begin.
Those who never read his book
Need to get one and take a look.
In any place where life does strive,
Only the fittest are going to survive.
This was his major projection:
Change was by natural selection.
And then to their lasting shame
Others added much in his name.
If he could know and speak today:
“That’s not what I wanted to say!”
Darwin might never have gone that road
Without wrong church teaching as a goad.
Had he known what the Bible truly does say,
Then he might never have moved that way.
Went to pick a bone all I found was fossils Lost within Smithsonian's flood colossal A giant petrified dodo Just a rendering who knew Excretions of artistic apostle ~ eyes to see pupil arts deception perception in lieu of subject
From ancient blackened earth our lives emerged
Affirming eon's cycling through soil's time
But in the end all creatures had diverged.
Though ash and cinder oft contributes grime
To rising zephyr souls whose breaths are numb,
The weathercock and vane, when tossed by clime,
Expel arrays of song with cogent thrum
And sweep away gray residues to place
on this sad groaning land a laudanum.
Our tingling bodies rise and fall with grace
At measured rates and epics of no date
Hold myths instilling dramas to embrace.
Each moment burns a candlewick of fate.
Our nurture and our nature maybe blurred
Yet our atomic cells that did not wait.
From slime to flesh and blood genetics stirred.
Man's science know what brought each life to birth
But not the why existence had occurred.
Now we are stewards tending to our Earth.
This we must do with highest care and worth.
For five years the illustrious and regal
Charles Darwin, sailed on the Beagle.
A surveying ship,
Notebooks all a’rip,
Soon in battle with Wallace, so legal.
Only me,
looking at the blue sky,
and the blue looking at me,
No doubts,
Only me,
lying on lavish grass and breathing
the smell of wet earth after rain,
No doubts,
Only me,
and my sweet pain reflecting
into each other’s eyes,
No doubts,
Only me,
and you kissing the
droplets of hidden desire,
No doubts,
Statues of Darwin
David J Walker
Cayotes claim what they can of
The daylight hours hounded by the
Windblown November sun
Below the Mesa
No better than the
Blazing days of the summer
Only colder
Every rock looks the same
Every plant a chameleon
Every insect a meal in a race for
Its life
Here the world is cruelly honest
About its business and
Indifference to death
Here, life is recycled
Without ceremony nor prayer
Language needs no interpretation
Reading is seeing and reacting
And each species erects its own
Statues of Darwin
“CHARLES DARWIN AND THE JUNKIE”
THE NEEDLE SWIMS INTO MY ARM, LIGHTS FIRE IN MY VIENS
AND FOR THAT MOMENTS PLEASURE I TRADE WHAT SOUL REMAINS
NATURE THINS IT’S OWN HITLER TRIED IT TOO
SURVIVAL OF THE FITTEST IT AIN’T NOTHING NEW
CHARLES I'M NOT THE STRONGEST BUT I MAY JUST SURVIVE
AND IF I MAKE IT THROUGH THIS HELL IS IT WRONG THAT I'M ALIVE
EVOLUTION WILL NOT SAVE ME NO GOD HOLDS MY HAND
ONLY I CAN HELP ME NOW I THINK YOU’LL UNDERSTAND
THERE’S NO ANGELS FOR ME HERE I’M ALONE TONIGHT
IF I CAN’T BEAT MY DEMONS CHARLES DARWIN YOU WERE RIGHT
I LOOK AROUND FOR HELP THERE’S NO ONE IN SIGHT
SURRENDER COMES TOO EASY I STILL HAVE SOME FIGHT
THE WEAK MAY INHERIT THE EARTH BUT THEY DON’T HAVE IT NOW
SOMEDAY I MAY BELIEVE IF I GET THROUGH SOMEHOW
I HAVE NO ONE TO BLAME I’M IN OVER MY HEAD
I’M FIGHTING FOR MY LIFE AND NOT FAR FROM DEAD
CHARLES DARWIN YES I HEAR YOU I KNOW WHAT YOU SAY
BUT YOU SHOULD RECONSIDER THERE MIGHT BE ANOTHER WAY
AND SHOULD I SLAY MY DEMONS AND SAY HERE’S WHERE I BELONG
CHARLES DARWIN, CHARLES DARWIN, CHARLES DARWIN YOU WERE WRONG
We greedily devour other people to satisfy our own desires
Once the hunger takes over it is insatiable
The ultimate addiction becomes too powerful a force
The truth is we are all cannibals
We are all consumers of our fellow man
Always consuming each other for survival
There are no victimless crimes
No winners without losers
The weak receive the cruelest of consumptions
The kindest of heart are the easiest prey
They are eaten alive by family and friends and lovers
There is a certain hardness needed for rigors of everyday life
A food chain exists for human animals the same as any other
We are all starving
Only the consumer will survive
The Darwin Awards are based upon Darwin's theory
regarding the survival of the fittest and elimination of the weak.
The less intelligent die off and are eliminated from the gene pool
and it is to they that the Darwin Awards are awarded to.
The Darwin Awards are awarded tongue in cheek.
Awards are given to they who died due to their own stupidity.
Paul Stiller, 47, and his wife Bonnie
were bored just driving around at about 2 A.M.
so they lit a quarter stick of dynamite to toss out the window
just to see what would happen.
Someone should have told them that the window was closed.
and so to Paul and Bonnie Stiller this Darwin Award goes.
However, they don't truly qualify for a Darwin Award actually
because both of them miraculously survived their injuries,
but I'm sure that a Darwin Award will be granted in their future inevitably.