Roy Jerden Poet Limerick

A Series of Unfortunate Darwin Awards

The Darwin Awards are a posthumous honor, recognizing those who have improved the human gene pool by removing themselves from it by their own foolish actions.

In a robbery way out in Long Beach
Elliot's handgun misfired in the breech
    Down the barrel he took
    A quite scatterbrained look
Then made it more than a figure of speech

There was a foolish fellow named Gary
Who gulped gasoline over near Cary
    The fuel made him gag
    So he fired up a ***
And now smokes in the state mortuary

"Look, no helmet!" Phil proudly decried
In the headgear disobedience ride
    He stood for his rights
    Then put out his lights
When he flew off his Electra Glide

An impatient Korean got miffed
And was ramming the doors of the lift
    Then went a bit daft
    When he got the shaft
But his ride to the bottom was swift

References:
http://jdgroover.wordpress.com/2013/08/20/the-2013-darwin-awards-are-out/
http://www.darwinawards.com/darwin/darwin2012-03.html
http://www.darwinawards.com/darwin/darwin2011-03.html
http://www.darwinawards.com/darwin/darwin2010.html

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Ralph Sergi February 28, 2016 at 6:51 AM Congratulations on a great win, Roy.

Skat A March 15, 2014 at 10:26 AM Roy .. Congratulations with your awesome win...~SKAT~

Sara Kendrick March 14, 2014 at 1:17 PM Ahh!! Great quality poetry!! Way to go with this win..Congrats..Sara

Carol Eastman March 14, 2014 at 11:08 AM This really fit the contest to a Tee... Congrats on the win.

Kelly Deschler March 12, 2014 at 7:08 PM I really enjoyed the dark humor that you put into this poem. You have great rhyme and a smooth flow to your words here. Very nicely done, Roy! Congratulations on your win, as well!...Thank you very much for the kind congrats on my poem. :)

Andrea Dietrich March 10, 2014 at 5:22 PM I remember these and how well you did them. So glad to see it on the winners' list. Big Congrats to you, my friend.

Dr.Ram Mehta March 9, 2014 at 11:19 PM Brilliant write on the Angel of the Odd. Congrats on a fine win, roy

Robert Johnson March 9, 2014 at 8:25 PM You should enter these in the tickle my funny bone contest. These are so clever and hilarious. Sooo enjoyed! Peace and thanks for the comment. :) Robert Johnson March 10, 2014 at 10:48 PM Tis a shame. Peace. :) Roy Jerden March 10, 2014 at 8:07 PM Thanks, but Francine nixed limericks. Too bad, as I can crank them out pretty quickly.

Sheri Fresonke Harper March 9, 2014 at 4:59 PM lol, Roy, the Darwin award folks are definitely in the spirit of the Angel of the Odd, four great snapshots in this poem. Congratulations on your win!

Mark Peterson March 3, 2014 at 11:59 PM All great ones, Roy. I might try one someday. I did post a little quatrain on Special Relativity, however.

Connie Marcum Wong February 27, 2014 at 4:20 PM Roy, You are really wonderful at writing these clever and humorous Limericks. All were very entertaining! I especially admire them because I am lousy at writing them myself. Connie Marcum Wong February 27, 2014 at 8:25 PM This made me smile Roy....thanks so much. I have written one and it was really awful. I just don't have the funny bone. Roy Jerden February 27, 2014 at 7:34 PM There is a lovely poet named Wong/ Who writes poetry in a sarong/ She'll knock out a ballad/ As quick as a salad/ But with limericks can't get along Roy Jerden February 27, 2014 at 7:33 PM Thanks, Connie. For some reason, limericks are very easy to write for me. Here's one for you:

Jack Horne February 27, 2014 at 2:40 PM lol, thanks for a good chuckle

Andrea Dietrich February 21, 2014 at 7:34 PM wow, you did awesome with these, Roy. It's so fun to research stuff like this and just do a bunch of them. Keep up with it. These make fantastic themes for limericks.

Painted Hunter February 18, 2014 at 11:19 AM Love your sense of humor, man! Roy Jerden February 18, 2014 at 12:14 PM Thanks, Caleb. These were pretty hard to do as I couldn't just make them up out of whole cloth.

Tim Ryerson February 15, 2014 at 7:28 PM A limerick master you are sir!...Loved # 2 in particular...ALL are hilarious and congratulations to you! You will be getting Soup Mail soon...

Debbie Guzzi February 13, 2014 at 6:51 PM LOL awwwwww we poor human beings! Light & Love

Skat A February 11, 2014 at 4:56 PM I agree with Rose, Interesting Roy, what more can I say. SKAT Roy Jerden February 11, 2014 at 5:49 PM Yeah, a bit off the track, but fits the theme of Craig's latest contest, The Angel of the Odd. If you read the story by Edgar Allen Poe, the connection will become more apparent. Cheers, Roy

Sara Kendrick February 11, 2014 at 2:06 PM I like to sometimes watch a program called "A Thousand Ways To Die"..It is amazing at the very foolish or stupid things people do..There were two young men who were drinking and getting high and decided that they could get really high if they sucked Fire Ants up their noses with a straw..The ants stung them all the way in and down into their lungs..They died from allergic reaction to the ant venom..Thanks for your visit..Sara Sara Kendrick February 11, 2014 at 2:07 PM Unique and creative use of humor..Sara

Vicky Tsiluma February 11, 2014 at 6:09 AM Wow Roy! These are...I can only describe them as an eerie humor (and I'm not laughing). Some things really make you think about the state of the world we live in.