Best Darndest Poems
We settled down in a little town
Nigh on thirty years ago
The stars shown bright
In the deep dark desert night
Far away from the city's light
I bought some seeds
Fought a war with tumbleweeds
That would roll on into town
And my flowers grew
Beneath skies of bluest blue
Yesterday...
Thirty years ago
Way out west the city did her
darndest best
To sprawl on eastward toward
The hills
Then the builders came
And this town just
Ain't the same
As it was thirty years ago
We settled down in a little town
Far from all those city lights
As I look around, I am now confound
In the midst of them tonight
Chatting with Hyrum, my husband asked him
what he was watching on TV. He
raved about the show his grandpa’s
phone call had interrupted.
There was a lull. . . and then
this four-year-old kid
said, “What am I
still talking
with you
for?”
Sept. 27, 2019
for Caren Krutsinger's 'Any Poem You Want to Write 50 Words or Less' Contest
(44 words)
Art Linkletter said,
"Kids will say the darndest things".
Who's he? Google time.
My dearest Mrs., Ms., Mystic, or Miss,
this morning Venus had a special "ask".
She said to make you fall in loving bliss,
for Cupid's ill and not up to the task.
I'm nervous as I'm kind of new at this.
My first question, should I wear a mask?
I guess I am off to a rocky start.
Oh my, how ever will I win your heart?
Poetic angel from our earthly sphere,
I come with a toolkit to enchant you.
I will whisper sweet nothings in your ear.
Three amorous wishes I will grant you.
I'll hold you when you find yourself in fear.
We will dance barefoot under skies of blue.
In my bag, you'll find a twenty-carat ring.
I'll give you that or any other thing.
Hmm, let me see, what do I know of love?
We can walk in the ocean's crashing tide,
hear the gentle coo of a turtle dove,
fly above the clouds on a rainbow slide,
carefree as we view the world from above,
while I serenade you as we take that ride.
I think by now we should be holding hands
if I'm to meet the god of love's demands.
Shall we dine out tonight by candlelight
or gaily pick wildflowers in a field?
Allow imagination to take flight,
so that you will finally softly yield,
and passionately fall in love despite
I'm Cupid's stand-in with no dart to wield.
I've failed to fulfill Venus's orders.
Oh, please don't report me to headquarters.
There are certain subjects that are taboo
When it comes to writing poetry
But I try my darndest to ignore them all
I guess I really didn't need to tell you that
It's fairly obvious I would imagine
Writing about apes with pink butts
But trust me I'm quite a sophisticated gentleman
Though sometimes these evil spirits inhabit my body
And I'm not responsible for what I write
I thought I needed to explain
Some of these recent over-the-edge presentations
What I'm trying to say is I'm getting help
But the doctors say I'm quite an anomaly
But again, I am getting help
Wish me luck!
© Jack Ellison 2014
The 16 hour days are full;
Of judging every gain,
And every misspent penny
It is the darndest pain.'
Our working lives are greased
By debt
That gathers its weight and
to our loss
I hit the bed at ten in the eve;
But by 3am I pitch and I toss'
I awake to another grim grey day
See the struggling masses race
I know its only Wednesday;
But Friday is coming apace.!
And Friday is a spending day
In Britain as in 'elsewhere.'
And that will be OK for 'some'
Who live I am not sure where?
I know I’ll use my shrinking means
The groceries must come'
I think of some; who have taken
A quick Quid loan at apr 1735%..!
Now for only needing £200 they will be; (Finished and done.)
©Joe Maverick 27-2-2018
Like sitting upon a sail at the storm’s peak,
riding its mastery, and black and blue artistry.
Underneath the vessel’s feet, it’s troubled us
to flip us end to end, to break its back. Pale
is the moon under many a gossamer sheet
of the criminal-clouds. The sun likewise quivers,
a sickly-green hue, as the seaweed, underneath
the careening boat, moves either like tentacles
or woman’s full-length hair, underneath our coffin.
The teeth of the sea seethes, it’s vengeance sure.
Its waves long to crush the wooden bones. Blast
of the storm’s nostril, like an explosive bull, and
the bolts of lightning like a game of competitive darts.
Like sitting upon a sail at the storm’s peak,
riding its mastery, and black and blue artistry.
I laugh with maniacal eyes. I scream at its pleasure.
It boasts. It taunts. The ants below my eyes, tossed
to and fro, caught in an onboard net of spilling waves.
The storm suddenly yawns, momentarily forgets
to care. The sun and the moon both force their way
through. It is the darndest thing that was seen that day.
The golden sun and the silver moon, joined by sunrise
and sunset, bloom over the horizon. The jaws of the sea
dropped, calmly looking on, a bit unsettled and cowering.
“Not this time,” I say with a wink. I nod at the sun and moon.
I slink down the pole and tell the wet and sniveling swabbies
to “clean the deck.” My compass points toward the treasure.
The weak knees and minds of all on board will be strongly
dealt with. Nothing will delay my task. I will get my wife back!
8/22/2022
2/10/21
"Never Mattered"
Folks so hesitant and others far too eager
You either do or don't got a fever
Non or a true believer
In the ever after
Worlds being forever shattered
I always had to be a clever bastard
Got to get it done, can't rely on a benefactor
Had to realize certain things never mattered
Always regardless of the weather pattern
A planet full of far too many carcasses
And far too many drugs all around, even from the pharmacist
If you never give up, life can be marvelous
People support or march against
Most likely won't be, but there needs to be an armistice
Here we go, it starts again
They'll cause fights and arguments
Went right over their heads, for them it was too hard to get
Let's be honest, only made of bones, muscle, organs and cartilage
Not immune to arsenic
It can be fatal causing harm quick
The tides changed, the tables turned and the cards flipped
Near and far from any market
Earth, tile, wood or carpet
Secrets getting leaked, or they are kept
Taken serious or disregarded
People so foolish or some of the smartest
Staying bitter or having feelings of stardust
Humans are cold-blooded and evil, or they are just
I was moving towards the light, yet remaining in darkness
Until I actually turned into Clark Kent
It's not farfetched
Still beings are exaggerating, always trying their darndest
Putting forth the very hardest
And still never hitting the targets
I was always looking for someone
While living among the stars, moon and the sun
Out to live it up, not just here for love and fun
Still one hell of a son of a gun
I was always the underdog, rarely ever had a plus one
I've put my trust in some
Battles lost but the war was just won
I got it done in blood
Continually I dug in mud
I am not the one to judge
It's been years, not weeks or a month of
The drink and drugs is what I got numb from
While dealing with conundrums
Most assumed there was humdrum
Is there really anything below or up above?
5/19/21
"Darkness"
Often looking for targets
Thinking they're the smartest
And sharpest
So quick to start it
This world can be heartless
What the f*** is wrong with people
Why do they got to be so evil
Constant carnage
This planet and animals getting treated like garbage
2 avenues, getting out alive, or becoming a carcass
In situations that are dangerous, far from harmless
Regardless
I always got to do my darndest
As I go in the light and darkness
Energy and power is being harnessed
Underneath, occasional full moons and nights that are starless
Evidence found or swept under the rug and carpets
Don't expect success if you didn't try your hardest
Even then if you did, might have to try again, to get the farthest
These words mark this
It had the smallest impact or one of the largest
Sometimes it just comes naturally
In a world with gravity
The agony
And insanity
Mixed with calamity
And brutality
Yet another casualty
It's gone beyond a tragedy
Past the point of being sad to me
Makes me as mad as can be
In all actuality
It's not fantasy
This is reality
There is mortality
And too much vanity
As well as pugnacity
Many fast to call my words blasphemy
With far too much profanity
Has no effect on my mentality
I appreciate the honesty actually
I do have the audacity
I am sad not running around happily
Still doing my very best to think rationally
It was done in good will not callously
To help a client, friend or family
Imagine that
Multiple times got stabbed in the back
And was always laughed at
Never had a head start
Often getting left in the dark
Yet to find out the best part
You're either dead or aren't
Woke up inside a small house
Went out, to a land ravaged by nuclear fallout
"TELEVISION WOULD BAN IT"
I told her loving money before
her children would damage them.
I told her loving cock before
her children would destroy them.
I told her one day,
the lust from her **** would
weigh her down to the deepest
of oceans.
"Mommy, I don't want you to
go out again," she said.
her kid is three years old.
kids say the darndest things.
I bet Art Linkletter would be
proud
but recommend adoption.
By: Chicano Eddie
4-11-2017
Would you love to read the joy in poetry?
Would you pass poetry to the pit?
Or would you grant me the grace to write in defense of poetry?
If you picked “yes” on the second and fourth lines
Then...
Refresh your thoughts.
Refresh the world.
Refresh the sky.
Refill the air.
Pave paths for poetry
To read my new write...
In poetry, we hop around,
But it is not a futile romp.
Though some lines are heavy,
Hardly to wear them meaning;
Also hardly to write them off—
Because they are sort of traps,
And they make folks shudder.
I have seen folks nurse poetry as distress.
And Kinsmen king poetry as philosophy.
Children know it as not child's play.
Teenagers tilt their heads in discord.
Most minorities said not minor enough.
And the majority said not mainly for them
But poetry is mainly for us.
A poet does not write without reason.
He does not write without meaning.
Though some poets write for the rhyme, they make many murmurs.
But poetry marches deeper unto the soul:
It paints the darndest picture of woe.
It unveils the awful face of war.
It paints the earnest desire for love.
It paints the deepest agony ever felt.
It brightens the darkest face,
And gives the shattered heart the light to shine.
what am I looking for on Match? you ask
and I'll tell you want I've felt
when typing to a picture - mask
attempting to make hearts melt...
Too impersonal to be personable
this game of word and wit,
when sent -
is irreversible
after you've sent the s#^t...
for now I'm looking -
platonic pal
one to count stars with
and you can
real E
call me Al
a baster
roses
sitting
by yr
Hi-Lo toesis
and schlerosis
sorry -
didn't mean to offend....
these letters are like heroes
with the darndest open end...
with lettuce falling out
and condiments, too
how can I convince you
that I really enjoy
"who are You?"
Once I ran after a robber
Who snatched a lady’s purse,
Then after a few short strides
My lungs seemed to burst
—yet I kept on.
Then faced with a hundred steps
Upon a flight of stairs,
While I so laboriously trekked,
My chest burned and flared
—still I went on.
Walking now seems so deprived
Of what once was leisure,
With all these needles pricking inside
My heart has to endure
—but I carried on.
Then it was one rainy night,
My wife threatened to leave;
She said, “You made a chimney of our home,
and I can hardly breathe! ”
I am a man, but I can’t last
A life lived without her,
So I knelt down and made a pact
To both of us was fair;
As long as she won’t leave, I’d try
My very darndest best
To quit what she has hated most
And lay it down to rest
—and that was when I stopped
smoking cigarettes.
Try my darndest to brighten each day
At times successful, at times lay an egg
Two times outta three
No bad 'tween you and me
If I don't improve, you can dock my pay
Bajillion years after proto humans experienced woe
countless figurative early Brady bunched bro doggie
dimples encountered necessity to escape cohabitation
(marital covenant alien), yet quasi marital brouhaha
ofttimes witnessed altercation begetting re: thorough
out baby with bath water phenomena, which literal
cruel fate heavily peppered past (mine) accounting
lamely explaining Pink Floyd momentary status quo
upended accompanied courtesy lapse of reason no
definitive evidence to substantiate claim, yet I know
without shadowed doubt every friggin forebear (hoe
pining to savor manumission, versus cotton pickin)
back breaking stoop labor think indentured escrow
harking back to days of our lives (mainly bonobo
nasty, short and brutus creatures millenniums ago
unsung simian kindred beings suffering figurative
ruffled horse feathers nsync with bird in hand dodo
which latter species long extinct (as Dutch good eats)
now non sequitur (sea quitter) mine homeboys/girls
comprising Harris eventual clan (of craven lionized
"scapegoats" set genealogical precedent, and grew
some real winners gentiles, who commingled and
intermarried, and united proudly to kvetch as Jew)
eventually acquiring redeeming qualities conveniently
best caricatured as features exhibited by Mister MaGoo
invariably dear reader "fake" anecdote ye will poo poo
as well how storied and fabled coronavirus (COVID-19)
medical technicians reference quaint pandemic setting
figurative global stage brethren and sistern microbes
made webbed, wide world wish for said good ole days
cuz, communique done being crafted about six hours
marine hated, armies of beastie boys slain 2120 yahoo
the darndest, latest microscopic bugaboo nearly slew
entire population, hence envision terra firma with
divine providence absolute zero people as edenic
provenance (metaphorically offering tabula rasa view.