My Vice

Once I ran after a robber Who snatched a lady’s purse, Then after a few short strides My lungs seemed to burst —yet I kept on. Then faced with a hundred steps Upon a flight of stairs, While I so laboriously trekked, My chest burned and flared —still I went on. Walking now seems so deprived Of what once was leisure, With all these needles pricking inside My heart has to endure —but I carried on. Then it was one rainy night, My wife threatened to leave; She said, “You made a chimney of our home, and I can hardly breathe! ” I am a man, but I can’t last A life lived without her, So I knelt down and made a pact To both of us was fair; As long as she won’t leave, I’d try My very darndest best To quit what she has hated most And lay it down to rest —and that was when I stopped smoking cigarettes.