Best Cunning Poems

There is a very cunning ham named Tom
Pens side-splitting limericks with aplomb
   When Soupers are down
   Tom removes their frowns
And their funny bones explode like a bomb 





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Tom flew down to Turkey to play
But found at the end of the day
Putin had to gobble
So there was a squabble
Hence the Marmite-Putin soufflé...

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It’s dreadful, a disaster, it’s a terrible calamity
Housewives going frantic for the thing they seek but cannot see
Supermarket workers helping those who shout the most
Try their best to find a jar of spread to spread on toast

But all the angry faces glaring at the empty...

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There's a certain cunning ham named Tom
Who once crafted limericks with aplomb
  Lately, no funny new lims
  Has Tom's funny bone dimmed -- NO 
His computer's been infected with ROM!...

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Generous 
A leader whose Caring, Brave, Honest, and Funny
Family of Heath
She’s a lover of reading, art, and acting
A woman who feels compassion, hardship, and love
Who fears the dark, spiders, and being hurt
A dreamer who would like to see the future, the world, and him
She’s a...

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My mother was spring cleaning 
So I needed a reason to escape 
I have got a devilish mind 
and my cunning plan is taking shape.
The plug has fallen off the hoover 
I've unscrewed the head from the sweeping brush 
A little superglue on the furniture...

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It's ecstasy without the pill
alarm lights flashing 69
Tarzan Lord of jungle fever
the taste of sweet nectar!

Foreplay of the gods
slippery when wet
I gaze upwards
lust devours you.

Such a lovely garden
I love your comfort food
you the naughty schoolgirl
in my headmasters office.

Your sighs and moans
rise to the heavens
carrying aphrodisiac...

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A cunning linguist is my Romeo,
whose tongue has tasted ev’ry inch of me
ravenously from head to toe and—Oh!
in between—that I’m wet with ecstasy!
With lips on breasts, he kisses my firm nipples
first, then bites and nibbles on them like candy;
now wet with excitement, my genitals
beg for...

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sun’s coat on the maize
here and there the squirrel ducks
leaving her to pant 



©GraceM Composition...

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As you read this poem, I’m mentally undressing you.
Word by word your protests drop to the floor. 
Syllable by syllable I pare you down to honest flesh. 
Utterance by utterance, your secrets are revealed 
Until you’re nude, standing before me 
Natural and unembellished, so you...

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My doctor says I’m overweight,
I’m in the orange band,
To make it to the yellow zone
I’ll need a helping hand.

So he’s cancelled Sunday breakfast
And sworn me off scotch eggs,
He’s drained my car of petrol
Chuckling ‘Learn to use your legs!’

But I don’t really buy it.
There’s alternatives to...

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The Cunning Stranger at Dragon's Lair - A Narrative Poem

One day at a comic shop,
I met a man selling cats,
For the money, he wanted to swap,
But I really wanted some bats.

"Got any bats?" asked I.
"For that's how I'll spend my money (wow)."
"No bats here!" said...

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An accountant asks for accuracy
Playing figures 
Always got his mind tangled
Blurring his eyes
And so bustling the calculator
Making his neck strained and fingers stiff
But the cunning figures 
Still manage to escape 
From his balance sheet sometimes
Causing him a severe headache
What's more
So surprisingly 
Sometimes has to go...

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reared many rabbits by habit
to harvest cotton wool from them
for textile industries abroad
that they could make winter clothing
for charity to hot desert dwellers...

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I’m a broken man
don’t know who to trust.
Being a broken man
allows you not to trust.

I’m a broken man
with lots of blood,
bleeding from the heart like a river.
Being a broken man
helps people raft on the red stream
And they don’t give a damn, whether you die in...

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