Best Cropper Poems

I accidentally let one loose
A ripe for roasting, fattened goose!
The ganders in Orwellian mode
Honked out the news in gaggled code.

Rash Farmer Giles, blood red with rage
Would not be easy to assuage
And goslings flapped their wings in fear 
As if to say ‘Get out of here!’

The...

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The day my life went so crazy
Was when I laid eyes on Daisy
She was an old sow
Who mooed like a cow
And drove all farmhands crazy

We tried to put her in a field
But sadly that pig wouldn’t yield
She’d sit down in her sty
And she wouldn’t comply
Her...

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Back in the day when kids could just play
Without the fear of being stolen away,
We would be out at almost first light
Only in for our meals until it were night.
Football and cricket both in their season,
Just to be out was a good enough reason.
You could...

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** Apologies for anyone unfamiliar with the metaphors used, they're quite British ***

Most people in life work for someone
as all the statistics have shown
but I thought I'd go out and start up by myself
as an entrepreneur, go it alone.
My radio shop called in the receivers,
someone...

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Toys from Yesteryear

Sitting very quietly, looking at a blank page
Prompted me to pen a poem about toys that were all the rage
I had some wooden jigsaw blocks when I was only two
In a wooden  box with a shiny brass clasp
And a picture of Winnie...

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Another Advent of the Same Old Events
(Apropos December, 2016)

In this new season of Advent,
We still face 
The same old weary events;
It’s still all about race.

Strange fruits lay rotting
Along the treed street;
We still can’t escape the spotting—
Wherever we go, justice we never meet.

Daily courts of law...

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MUM  EXPLAINS GRASSHOPPER  FOREBEARS

Your daddy? Well, he had no money ,
Was skinny and boney, but just gorgeous, Honey,
A real grasshopper’s grasshopper.
Spent his days, unafraid to come a cropper,
Hiding on a cornstalk in a field (you probably heard)
Listening out for combines or a hungry...

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Leaves fall in the Fall.
Leaves flump in the Downtick.
Leaves flop in the Glide.
Leaves founder in the Comedown.

Leaves descend and drop in the Tumble.
Leaves nosedive and lurch in the Downflow.
Leaves pitch and capsize in the Forced Landing.

Leaves topple and cascade in the Gravitation.
Leaves abseil and rappel...

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Hocus Pocus, Balderdash,
Newspapers print horror and trash.
Oligarchs hungry for extra cash,
To add to their enormous stash.

Nervous police officers feel the heat,
When they caution terrorists in the street,
They no longer walk the beat,
They have cars with safety seats.

Police cars drive around at night,
Warning louts that curse...

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Foreword: My regular radio station recently
held a phone in show on the subject of
Veganism... The following was inspired by
some of the more colourful callers.

Purely for fun, no maliçe intended... Your Honour



Vegans, Damned Vegans

He sneered when he called me an animal
He frowned when he called me...

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She’s not exactly a stunner
Or a beauty contest top-runner.
Sometimes she slips up on  grammar.
But is that a reason to damn 'er?
Some men  want  gold and  not copper,
And more often than not come a cropper.
George married a pretty blue stocking.
That divorce case,...

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The old black man plowed the ground in that baking sun 
And sang all those old gospel songs 
The rows were straight as an arrow all through the field 
As I knew this was where his heart belongs 

He was just a share cropper and...

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FOOTLES


Farmer’s Marketeer

Cropper
Shopper
-----------------------

Stoned in Stonehenge

Fluid
Druid
-----------------------------


Autumn Breeze

Crisper
Whisper
-----------------------------


Twins

Double
Puddle
-----------------------------

Stripper

Fresher
Dresser
--------------------------------------


two brain cells walk into a bar

Drinkers
Thinkers
----------------------------------------

John G. Lawless
8/25/2014...

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Rudolph has got a red nose
From going where no reindeer goes
The roof that had ice on
Belonged to Mike Tyson
It ended up coming to blows

*****

This book about reindeer, I’ve recently found
Says reindeer eat leaves and grass from the ground
There’s also a chapter or two
That should give...

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He was just out riding his chopper,
All of a sudden he came a cropper.
A head on collision with another lad.
His head hit the kerb at a terrific rate
The trauma he had, left him in a state.
When he came to in A&E they did find,
The injury...

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