Best Claptrap Poems
Renegades Foreva!
Renegade teenage rage babes
thinkin’ they all grown, all knowin’
when they seedlin’s barely sown
bleedin’ teenage angst with teenage crankst
always rhymin’ and mis-timin’ some poetry-crimin’
mis-mashin', diss-bashin'
word-clashin' song
heard on some half-sappy, sex-happy,
yap-rap, smack-attack vid
made by some brotha who’s just anotha
angry angst-ridden
wannabe gangsta kid
With a street beat
they be hummin’ or singin’ along
repeatin’ the deceit
not knowin’ curse verses
are just plain wrong and mostly maligin’
while grownups in earshot
takin’ all them swearshots
wishin’ them words had sweeter rhymin’
or that kids be more discreet
would take their claptrap,
no-class, crass-crack lyrics
and just tweet ‘em or mime ‘em
But if ‘dults could go back, meet themselves
when they was punk teens
fittin’ into pre-shrunk his or her hunk jeans
listenin’, partyin’ to poppin’ rockin’
unusual musical junk boy band scenes
and lettin’ out star-struck
super-charged
groanal hormonal
no-one-could-understand gland screams
then they’d be amused ya know,
might change their views ya know
cause remind ‘em not so pristine
when child and ‘dult they was in-between
Kids always lookin’ to find
who they are and who they be
imprisoned involuntarily
in their youthful penitentiary
no matter what century they be from you see
So if thinkin’ rap sucks cause
it’s just no-class hurls and low-class slurs
then fire-up that flux capacitor of yours,
head back to yo’ past and meet yo’ younger him or hers
see your own rebelling mis-teen-stakes
then rapping notions you might reshape
or rapping judgments remake
or least maybe now tolerate new-age teenage
rapping outbreaks and in-yo-face ear-quakes
realizin’ that come whateva or wheneva
that all teens now, before an’ where-eva
will evamore and eva be
natural renegades foreva!
© 2014 all rights reserved
Woman’s Desire
What’s all this rigmarole and claptrap
About the man being the only one thinking of sex?
Well, truth be known,
A woman, skin deeply eager, thinks much of it too…
Once leaving the job, after
The shopping; the vaccuuming; the cooking; the pots,
Pans, and dishes; after the childrens’
Homework, meals, baths, and good-night kisses;
Once the cat and dog have gone out and in
Twice, been fed, and cooed over while petted;
After inquires about her spouse’s work, complaints,
And wishes; after the phone calls to people of concern;
After checking the bank account, new emails, and
Cleaning out her handbag; counting out lunch monies;
Preparing the morrow’s snacks and clothing; writing
The lists of to-do’s and schedules; and, preparing medications…
Afrter all that, following ten minutes of rest
In a cushioned chair,
Among the first wishes of her long-patient body,
Is for some time to linger, living
Pleasure’s words whispered by her passion’s tongue.
A woman desires to lay felt and feeling sensuously
With her beloved, warm and spent,
Close to sleep at her side.
——————————————————————————————————
(c) sally young eslinger 9/16/2023
To go in a circular, spiral, curved
Or crooked course
Breeze, zephyr, puff or bluster
Claptrap, horwash or baloney
Tornado, Cyclone or a disaster
No matter how you put it
If your vehicle stays on the road
In Kansas, South Dakota or Wyoming
You have more than met your goal
Manipulation
Doctrines, Orders, at times, Education
Aim to accomplish manipulation!!
Message permanently caged in store;
Is a hand working puppet from the core!!
You either learn to change your mind
Or learn to change your humankind!!
Civilisations that we blindly receive
Humanities will permanently bereave!!
Claptrap compels you to avidly learn:
“Boy, good Titles are a thing to earn,”
On split boots, bendy legs then stagger
Weighed down by on-the-job blabber!!
Nay, clever and lively children we bear
Till by controls at School learn to fear!!
And, many cartoons that on TV feature
Educate infantile minds to fear nature!!
For, with a villain’s loud, eerie growl
Tells minds that evils are on the prowl!!
Invariable evils, minds they manipulate
To fear Good and Villains to emulate!!!
JM
13th March 2014
The reviewers considered his latest exhibition:
They said it was cutting edge
They said it defies all perception
The exploration of the negative spaces challenges the mind
Some said mind blowing
Some said life changing
The still life quality was shattering
Wonderful and interesting use of the media
At times parts seemed to be borrowed from the impressionists
but with great discretion and reflecting the earlier painterly strokes of the masters
One critic said superlative usage of perspective
stunning aesthetics and energy showing great creativity
Others said emotional, profound, highly figurative
with deepening disproportions of aesthetic consciousness
in the abstract elements
Tonal values consistent with the real life form
The artist brings the viewer face to face with his own preconceived hierarchy of cultural values and assumptions of artistic worth
A visual investigation into the human condition inspiring contemplation and sensitive exploration of quotidian life
The artist is forging an attempt of captivating exploration of forces of nature and the passage of time through his often poetic interventions into natural and absurd man-made environments
The plaudits and adjectives were endless - breathtaking, awesome, existential, non-formulaic
What do they know?
I thought it was pretentious derivative crap
Full of pious claptrap, conceptualised dialogue and non-originality
Oh God, now I am beginning to sound like them!
Weakness lies in the heart of gold,
a heart of gold can still be broken.
O man of empathy, so naive,
who gives until all has been taken.
Hearts of gold are unsustainable,
their foundations appear strong and true,
but life, stalking, like a lion,
hiding in the tall grass, unexpected as always,
He rips, and tears, far beyond repair!
Oh, what a fib! Such claptrap, and twaddle!
Do you still claim your heart to be
made out of some precious metal?
Leaving very comfortable warmth
I didn't want to come
Forcefully I have been sent to
The blazing fire of the earthen furnace
Even there was no relief of huge crying
From the bone crushing claws of the Harpy eagle.
Seeing a lot of claptrap and complexity
Seeing the dirty politics of knotting pubic hair
Sent myself to the solitary forest from scratch
To be lonely in this manner is the best in the world
Staying inside the shell like a snail is an immaculate beauty.
From the time of arrival there was a rush to go back
However, Chand Miah , the fact is that-
At the time of departure, looking back-
I don't know where, I see a hard twist,
I feel a pathetic pull inside.
The cherub wrapped in rose - chaste chariot.
A sprightly chain stirs charismatic horse
Across the ages to answer one’s prayers.
A demon with a plot to spare one’s prayers.
Betide the lightning strike, toward chariot,
but for the heretofore of God’s blest horse.
Sole-kick displays golden crescent of horse.
Claptrap scream of demon without a prayer!
Away spurs the audacious chariot.
Behold chariot and horse - answered prayers!
2/19/2019
A Tritina For Messina
Good news, bad news – more coming each day
Seems my neighbors keep me duly informed
About someone younger recently passing away.
I hear about the children being born deformed
Someone thinks I’d be their perfect officiant
Seems my neighbors keep me duly informed.
I’m thinking my opinions are no longer relevant
I’m outspoken, folks want to know what I meant
Someone thinks I’d be their perfect officiant.
With age comes arthritis and swallowing mint
My daily junk mail is increasing exponentially
I’m outspoken, folks want to know what I meant.
I suppose I’ll escape all the claptrap eventually
Hopefully, I’ll come to a place of peaceful rest,
[Did I mention] junk mail increasing exponentially.
In the meantime, I’m sincerely doing my best
Good news, bad news – more coming each day
Hopefully, I’ll come to a place of peaceful rest
About someone younger recently passing away.
Written August 10, 2022
Baloney, bumfuzzle, fiddledeedee
Taradiddle, gardyloo, snickersnee
Gobbledygook, gardyloo, tickle me,
Hullabaloo, cattywampus hogwash hoo-ha
Claptrap, collywobbles ballyhoo brouhaha!
~A Brian Strand 4 or 5 line contest.
So what makes a poem a poem?
There is blank verse but it does not rhyme,
Has it something to do with rhythm,
Is polish really different from grime?
Does it stink if it's not romantic?
Is it claptrap if it isn't true,
What if it sounds like words of a song,
And yet Bach has no clue what to do?
Must it deal with some lofty issue,
Worthless if you won't sing in its choir,
Oblique if you don't grab for tissue,
Is it all wet if there is no fire?
Say, what if it's not even angry
Or more badder, it's boring as Hell,
Oh, what if the poet's your girlfriend,
Are there obvious lies you can't tell?
I tell you it's looking quite hopeless,
Is it possible I could feel worse?
Oh where can I find me a savior
To protect me from poetry's curse!
Now I have discovered baloney and waffle listed under a words in relationship to
nonsense. What other kinds of food can I find listed in reference to nonsense?
Drivel lists foolishness, poppycock, idiocy, claptrap. Poppycock does this mean
a flowerbird? What about claptrap? Does this mean a noisy mousetrap? Well I
looked it up and it means hogwash and beside the already listed words this also
has garbage listed. Does this mean if we eat waffle and baloney we are eating
garbage? I certainly am afraid to look up the word garbage. I fear it will come up
with a meaning something like this: Garbage: foods, nonsense, gobbledygook,
waffle, baloney, drivel, hogwash. But I will. Garbage: filth, dross, rubbish, junk,
refuse, litter, debris, waste, muck, sweepings, slops, scraps, see nonsense. And
I am right back where I started...nonsense. Now I did notice junk listed under
garbage. Is that why they call some foods JUNK FOODS?
I apologize I do hope you weren’t eating while you were reading this bit of
dribble.
Dribble, it seems I saw something about dribble listed in ..................
What do I write? Do I complain about the weather? Do talk about something I
don't know anything about? Do I make up some gibberish? What is gibberish
anyway? I decided I needed to look this word up. It says quote nonsense,
rubbish, garbage, twaddle and claptrap unquote. And what did I discover? I
thought I knew what nonsense meant but other than the above listed words it
added ‘baloney, drivel, gobbledygook, hot air, noise, babble and jabber. Now
how am I going to know which baloney I should use if I decide I want a
sandwich? How do I know which word to use, baloney or boloney? It seems
boloney is a var. of baloney. Does var mean variation? Now I am afraid to order
this kind of sandwich not knowing which variation they will give me. I got into this
much trouble with just the word baloney. What will happen if I put in drivel or
gobbledygook. Lets try and see what kind of trouble I can get into. Gobbledygook
means: nonsense, waffle, jargon, gibberish, mumbo jumbo, drivel. Do I dare
order a waffle after finding it listed under gobbledygook?
Intuition snaps a thin slice.
A shortcut fast and frugal.
It rules with thumb, feels with gut,
both unconscious and instinctive.
It takes the best,
what it knows is apt and really matters.
It ignores the rest,
what it knows is inapt and just claptrap.
So hold your gaze in contemplation.
Delay your blink, not to think,
but to let your instincts make snap decisions.
The instant you blink,
that's it,
it's done,
shuttered and dusted.
Hence no surprise... yes
recherché rhetorical flourish(es) impress,
yet mine deliberate vocabulist predilection,
I haint gonna stress
aforementioned quirk
also includes zero apr
(annual percentage rate),
may be subject with excess
sieve jejune ennui pullulating Kudzu like
indecipherable haphazard gobbledygook mess
abhorrent brashness claptrap discouraging
further harrowing progress
into thicket of verbiage, perhaps...
unwittingly encountering Loch Ness
cheesy Munster gussied up as...
transgender logophile, alias Hermann Hesse,
which obvious immediate
long winded atavistic feature will
allow, enable, and provide
dead giveaway clue to guess,
whether yours truly be
mouse or man (chess
champion) meandering along
stream of consciousness,
whereby succumbing to wordiness helpless
(fear not coronavirus,
nor other mortal affliction)
even if exuding fifty shades of gray pus,
the only bonafide surefire
holistic, iambic, therapeutic... recourse
I reluctantly, lamely, and feebly confess
to ameliorate slogging thru
metaphorical marsh cress,
(a veritable poetic nightmare)
volunteer self as unsuspecting to acquiesce
(lest no lifetime allowance
courtesy United States mint printing press),
whereat Impractical Jokers profess
gut wrenching, humiliating, insulting...
pranks, albeit dudes harmless
(think) only psychological state at risk else
suffer interminable, objectionable, unutterable...
mother (ƒµ©****) eternal duress
unbeknownst to thee multisyllabic
stranger vowel things in consonant
essentially Mattspeak trumpeting
as sesquipedalianism (the lesser of twee vols)
temporarily rendering, manifesting
sudden impulse to emulate... me,
and damaging basic cognitive process.