Best Carb Poems
My dream car is known to be one of muscle,
which can quickly get up and hustle.
The year would have to be nineteen hundred and Sixty nine,
best year of Camaro to come off the production line.
Orange in color with white racing stripes that line the hood,
along with new aluminum rims would be good.
Its engine would be a three twenty seven,
bearing a Holley Carb would be heaven.
To take it out on the road for a test,
assuredly it would be the best.
I would wash and wax it night and day,
in the garage is where it would stay.
Oh how that would be the car for me,
unfortunately one I’ll never see.
Sometimes we eat when we’re hungry
Or else when we’re just in the mood,
But everyone’s habits are different
In how we relate to our food.
There are 3 meals-a-day folk as well as
The ones who skip breakfast or lunch
And grazers who nibble for most of the day
Or snackers who in-between munch.
There are people with junk food addictions
And those who shun pork, beef or fish,
While the gluten or carb-free among us
Pay attention to what’s in each dish.
As for sweets, that’s a whole other story –
When you think about ice cream or pie
Or the various candies and chocolates
Without which some could never get by.
Just consider your own way of eating
With the foods you enjoy or you sneak
And you’ll realize, if you broach the subject,
That our diets are all most unique!
Very low carb diet is any diet requires less than 50 grams of carbohydrate per day
Eating a healthy diet on this level of carbohydrate restriction is impossible
If you tried
You’d be eliminating too many foods rich in vitamins
Minerals
Fiber and cancer fighters
Getting essential nutrients from foods is always better than getting it from supplements
Moderately low-carbohydrate diet
Such as this one
Includes 100 to 150 grams of carbohydrate per day
The minimum level to prevent loss of clean tissue from muscles
Organs
A high carb diet
Includes more than 250 grams of carbohydrate each day
This is appropriate for active people who are at a healthy weight
No matter how many grams of carbs you eat everyday
Fruits
Vegetables
Whole grains
Legumes and pasta
Should be the main food sources of carbohydrates
With added sugar sources kept to a minimum
Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS)
An insulin-resistant disease in women
Has become prevalent in the past 20 years
PCOS characterized by elevated levels of male hormone
Increase facial hair
Irregular menstrual periods
Infertility
The most common cause of female hormone dysfunction
Infertility
Women with PCOS benefit from a low-carb diet
2012015
In my kitchen I do see
So many things that do please me
I love eating, cooking, cleaning
My kitchen it has so much meaning
In the kitchen so much joy I find
Beauty treatment comes to mind
And juice of lemon, oatmeal too
Diminishes all that rust for you
Then we have those cleaning things
Vinegar, Bi-Carb, much ease they bring
They do help me such a lot
When it comes to cleaning pots
Then we come to eating, Yum!
It's such a treat to my old Tum
Though sometimes cooking drives me mad
Sometimes it peeves me just a tad
Now I am off to do some shopping
And then return to do some mopping
just saw myself in the mirror
after feasting a box of pizza
cannot stand the sight of horror
and realized 'twas a bad idea
the main goal is to get lean
have my ass busy and active
but i'm lazy af to go clean
i guess its fate to get massive
got advised to get balanced diet
to lessen on sugar and carb
but the cravings are hard to quite
even giving up rice for lard
so this is what they called keto
gobbling more on fats and grease
less on meat, rice and potato
and more on veggies and cheese
some of you might get irked
but i need options and hope
please advise will this work
before i eat up this whole loaf
The bachelor sits alone
eating his microwaved dinner
the commercials say they're tasty
but he begs to differ.
tonight, its pot roast and beans
for dessert, a lousy brownie
honestly, I wouldn't serve this to the jailbirds
locked up at county.
They're cheap and easy to fix
or so they say
comes complete with a sheet of plastic
encased in a collectible tin tray
the advertising is clever
using words like low fat and carb free
but can someone please explain
what is a vegetable medley?
The bachelor unhappy with the evening's cuisine
grabs a book and takes a pill
it's for insomnia
not the kind to give you a thrill
shortly, the words are running together
the pill is doing its job
in a few more years
its teeth in a glass
and no more corn on the cob
The bachelor accepts
that he's challenged in cooking
and frozen nutrition will have to suffice
but what he can't understand
is why it takes him a half an hour
to cook a bag of minute rice.
I wish you and your family a blessed holiday as you enjoy all the good things on the menu. Let's see: help yourself to patience (the appetizer), a hefty portion of love
(the main course), good health (the carb), joy and unity (the green and yellow veggies), kindness rolls, peace (the dessert), and plenty of humility (the beverage). If you practice self-control you should be fully satisfied at the end of the day.
Thee Apple Hove Bing an Herbivore...?
(hint – app peal)
Sans maintaining a strict carb on diet
(for Peat Sake) iz like really coal
man, cuz carnivores consume meat,
which genetically modified organisms
engender incredible non edible size foal,
these agribusiness farmed animals shot up
with synthetic hormones
spurring heightened development
accidentally, inadvertently, and unleashing
King Kong monstrous outrageous gnoll,
whereat each footfall taken
by scary creature resembling
a humanoid hyena
results in said frankenfood digging,
one after another humungous hole
resulting in dirt pile
cresting, kickstarting, and
rivaling a mini
spring mount tin knoll
necessitating massive
manhunt to cap cha
lurching, pounding, and thudding
beast whereat entire
motley crue all harkened
from places named Lowell,
nonetheless heil lee calf full
to arm themselves with more'n one
tranquilized tipped pole
anachronistic cautionary expedition generating
masterfully baiting monster
with immense gritty buttered roll,
whose gargantuan ramp
aging spree across
world wide web
found endangered population
tuff lee from their
picturesque enclave i.e. Floss
on the Mill as zee unbridled
quasi jabberwocky took a selfie gloss
silly attired (trumpeting
"FAKE" ska don face mask)
likening pulling up moss
as coiffed "hair...hm..." all the while
gabbling, instagramming,
snapchatting, and toss
sing fearsome Frankenstein
with especial bent toward
those sharing surname Voss
in tandem to flagrant
disregard to paradigm
housing hefty prime
statutes of grammatically
correct syntactical rhetoric, plus rhyme
ming showcasing a novel
discovered talent to enrich pantheon
until the end of time.
since times of auld
where linkedin note able people
(some long haired others bald)
plaintively, suddenly, and called
urgently to be importantly installed
to brainstorm figuring a solution
to vanquish, nightmarish,
and hellish abominable madness!
As I mused in bosom stone, I presume for myself.
It wouldn't alarm me that I must do a diet program.
Slight weight reduction will profit my life.
Weight might prompt some sort of alarm.
I started with a healthy eating habit.
Made of scores that should be tabulated.
Food varieties are endured alike biscuits or chocolate.
Despite my best endeavors, I flubbed it.
Some other individuals asked to drink a lot of fluid.
This aids the removal of pollutant.
I essentially quit the regimen am eluted.
Since I went to the lavatory much of the night!
To make it simple, I start trying a low-carb diet.
My meal plans are as simple as a night's dream.
I'm told not to eat red meat, bread, or sweet dessert.
Never ingest cookies, candy bars, or ice cream.
However, after several days of reduced carb.
Events did not carry out as expected.
This was the specific converse of the water gob.
Every day, I feel obstructed from doing my works.
I've had enough with the eating plans.
The trick is to select a suitable one.
For a sack of chips with two hands.
Was a real well food right for me then?
Written: August 1st, 2021
The Marmite Poem Poetry Contest
Sponsored by: Natasha L Scragg
The urge takes over me,
i cant stay strong anymore,
i run to the bathroom,
making myself give up,
every calorie and carb,
the walls are covered with,
prettier and skinnier girls,
i wish everyday,
that i could look like them,
id give anthing to be the girl,
the guys want,
who gets looked at,
and told your beautiful,
insted im the one in the background,
never noticed unless im gettin made fun of,
i cant be strong anymore,
the urge,
the need contols me,
i cant fight it,
it consumes me.
63VW Bug Domed Home
$300 Empty Wallet,
Waved in Greeting Others "Bugged",
DIY Toolin' Schoolin',
Leakin' Carb Fixit,
Installed & Tighten',
Fired Her Up & Look It,
Engine Lit & Smokin',
Act Fast, Shut Down Fit,
Back to Wrenchin',
Leakin' Porous Gasket,
Déjà Vous Installin',
Finally Fuelin', No Casket,
Then Brakes Not Willin',
Free Fall Down Hill Drastic,
Frantically Emergency Leverin',
Arrived at Bottom Intact,
Sigh of Relief Breathin',
Heat from Engine Extract,
Smelled of Gasolin',
Either Sweatin' or Shiverin' Fact,
What Next? Wheel Fallin'!,
Balancing Acrobat Act,
Shoulder Oasis Seekin',
Rewheel Lug Tightin' Enact,
Pulled Into Shell Station,
One Lookover & Mechanic,
Hung Sign "Dangerous Caution",
"Too Hazardous, Inevitable Panic",
"Stay Off Road, Public Hazard if Run",
Starvin' Student, So "What the Heck?",
Drove Bug 3 More Years, An Eon!,
Careful for the Sake of Pilotin' a Wreck.
Now Can Laugh, I & Others Were Spared Extinction!
Next a Mercedes Diesel 200D Precision but Air Dreck,
Follies of Youth: Survived & Shunned, Relieved Everyone!
Julie tried every diet known to man
Weight-Watchers, Atkins, Keto, SOTA (State of the Art)
Low-carb, hi-protein, even vegan
Nothing worked; Julie gained weight
So she began to exercise madly
Which just made her menstruate late
Fed-up with it all, Julie took one last chance
She decided a starvation diet was needed
~ And she succeeded
A Thing Called Exercise
A thing called exercise is never fun,
especially when you weigh a ton.
No more of those sweet fattening pies,
or tall orders of chili cheese fries.
You must eat right and workout every day,
for excess pounds you have to sweat away.
Get up early and jog endlessly around a track,
only to feel like you’re having a heart attack.
Drink bottled water for added appeal,
to go along with a tasteless low carb meal.
Is it really worth it I have to ask,
for staying fit is a quite a task.
Seems living longer is the only perk,
in spite of all the work.
Not to mention how good you would look,
but what about all the time it took.
For some it is a new way of life,
yet others would rather go under the knife.
It usually hurts to try something new,
but a thing called exercise could be good for you.
happiness equals 20 pounds
this added weight is getting me down
once stick thin but alas, no more
putting it on was an easy chore
don't get me wrong, I'm not bitching
but for younger days, I am wishing
way back then I was much leaner
now flab is part of my demeanor
going to boot camp, eating low carb
so I can wear a lot less garb
losing ten would be just great
listing everything that I ate
the older I get, the harder it seems
to shed these pounds is not a dream
working hard, making calories count
it will fall off I have no doubt
up and down the spinner goes
maybe the scale is a lie, who knows
but I'll get fit and stay that way
and still keep happiness in each day