Best Calories Poems

Today I started off eating breakfast,                                       ...

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Warm blueberry skies.
Swirls of orange marmalade.
Guiltless indulgence....

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Unfair Calories 

Chocolate cake, 
can be eaten fast or slow. 
Depends on who, 
is at the end of the fork. 
But I tell you true, 
there is a thing that happens, 
to... a... few. 

They are taken to better places, 
where cake rules, and mountains...

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Got some amazing news, the best news of all
Burn 150 cals an hour smashing your head on a wall
But not recommended
If survival is intended
Could wind up attracting relatives for a final farewell...

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Whoever dreamed up 'calories' is no friend of mine
  I hold him responsible for my corseted waistline

Without his cruel notions, I'd first slake my thirst
  Then I'd explode in a burst of liverwurst...

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eat like a bird does
quality not quantity
one peck at a time...

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How faithfully my calories I count.
Believe me, I have counted them
since age fifteen. Oh, the amount
of food for decades I had!
But after each new decade - CRAP!
Metabolism slows down. Things get bad.
I recalculate calories or exercise more.
Otherwise, I fatten. THAT I deplore!

Oct. 6, 2020 
For...

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I won't diet. I'm too carefree
Thinking of one makes me cringe
Being hefty will be my destiny
Because on chocolate, I must binge

I'm not interested in calorie counting
It doesn't matter what I weigh
Let the pounds keep on mounting
I'm ready for the lunch buffet



October 6, 2020
In Praise fo...

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A button on my shirt will not stay
if I keep on eating away.
Everybody agrees that it doesn’t look right
if a shirt I wear appears too tight.
I have to give my eating habits a rest
if I want to stop the burgeoning of my chest.
What an embarrassing...

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Carrying that extra weight on me
Doctor’s order, to cut my calories
Boiled eggs and a orange juice
Fewer carbs now on my plate
An apple now, my lunch date
Soup and salads are my fate
Totalling calories for me to lose
This calorie count burns my fuse.

07.10.2020
Theme picked:4
In Praise of the...

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Calories are the little buggers that get into your wardrobe at night
and sew your clothes tighter. My closet's infested with these parasites....

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120 dollar Nikes, 100$ Levis, money in my pocket, even through the untrained eye,
Wealth seems evident, but I crave caramel, sweet 150 calories per bite
Having her taste seems so right. 
Mom prays that I won’t taste her again, she probably think she’s a sweet sin...

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is this the magic of Christmas?
weighing yourself before the festivities begin
eyes on every calorie you consume
smelling the food you know you’ll never eat
it’s a vicious cycle, one i’ll never beat
but i’ll beat myself up
another day of depression
counting down the days ‘till Christmas day
has turned to...

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Cal Flitter dumps litter in haste,
Ms Witherspoon savors the taste
  of fast food, she'll throw
  trash out her window.
Cal or Reese are just bad for the waste.


Written 23 Nov 2020...

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Kissing burns 6.4
calories per minute, so,
you wanna work out?  =]...

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