Best Calories Poems
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The scale winks,
knowing its silence
is complicit.
Christmas is made
of butter and mercy~
a brief, sweet amnesty
where every cookie
is just a crumb of
Christmas joy.
The holiday rule is simple:
if no one sees you eat it,
the snow absorbs the evidence,
and midnight erases the calories~
When in doubt, remember
Christmas calories don’t count.
Today I started off eating breakfast,
two eggs toast jelly and coffee.
Today for lunch I was eating,
a grilled cheese sandwich with fries.
Today for dinner my very favorite,
a steak potatoes butter and cake.
Regarding high calories lower I go,
breakfast coffee lunch water dinner salad.
Date Written: 10/6/2020
Theme Picked # 4 REGARDING MY CALORIES
IN PRAISE OF THE ODE Poetry
Contest Sponsored by: nette onclaud
Warm blueberry skies.
Swirls of orange marmalade.
Guiltless indulgence.
Unfair Calories
Chocolate cake,
can be eaten fast or slow.
Depends on who,
is at the end of the fork.
But I tell you true,
there is a thing that happens,
to... a... few.
They are taken to better places,
where cake rules, and mountains of icing...
are skied upon while laughing to music,
yet written down.
They are shown that sweetness,
like love must be enjoyed,
relished like flowers in spring,
strawberries in summer,
or ice-cream in fall.
The only defense to the delightful dangers,
a friend that is willing to walk,
and diet with you.
Not a short path,
but a long and enduring adventure.
At the end of which there is always to be,
a celebration of winning;
taste without temptation,
tempted, but not lost,
saved, by a loved one,
from the personal cost.
You are worth everything,
your value unmatched,
unmeasured,
but true.
is this the magic of Christmas?
weighing yourself before the festivities begin
eyes on every calorie you consume
smelling the food you know you’ll never eat
it’s a vicious cycle, one i’ll never beat
but i’ll beat myself up
another day of depression
counting down the days ‘till Christmas day
has turned to counting the calories every day
so magical!
all i want for christmas is to
get the stupid thoughts out of my mind
get the scars off of my arms
to find some joy in being alive
instead i'm sat here, alone in my room.
crying meaningless tears that make me feel like a fool
thinking about how many days i have left feeling this low
while my brother thinks about getting presents and snow
‘tis the season to hide in baggy clothes
the time to wear a fake smile just so nobody knows
about the pain in your stomach, the pain in your bones
so merry christmas everyone, just leave me alone
Got some amazing news, the best news of all
Burn 150 cals an hour smashing your head on a wall
But not recommended
If survival is intended
Could wind up attracting relatives for a final farewell
Cal Flitter dumps litter in haste,
Ms Witherspoon savors the taste
of fast food, she'll throw
trash out her window.
Cal or Reese are just bad for the waste.
Written 23 Nov 2020
Whoever dreamed up 'calories' is no friend of mine
I hold him responsible for my corseted waistline
Without his cruel notions, I'd first slake my thirst
Then I'd explode in a burst of liverwurst
eat like a bird does
quality not quantity
one peck at a time
How faithfully my calories I count.
Believe me, I have counted them
since age fifteen. Oh, the amount
of food for decades I had!
But after each new decade - CRAP!
Metabolism slows down. Things get bad.
I recalculate calories or exercise more.
Otherwise, I fatten. THAT I deplore!
Oct. 6, 2020
For John Lawless' The Crap Shoot #2 Poetry Contest
Kissing burns 6.4
calories per minute, so,
you wanna work out? =]
I won't diet. I'm too carefree
Thinking of one makes me cringe
Being hefty will be my destiny
Because on chocolate, I must binge
I'm not interested in calorie counting
It doesn't matter what I weigh
Let the pounds keep on mounting
I'm ready for the lunch buffet
October 6, 2020
In Praise fo the Ode `` Theme #4
Sponsor: nette onclaud
October 6, 2020
In Praise of the Ode `` Theme #4
Sponsor: nette onclaud
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Carrying that extra weight on me
Doctor’s order, to cut my calories
Boiled eggs and a orange juice
Fewer carbs now on my plate
An apple now, my lunch date
Soup and salads are my fate
Totalling calories for me to lose
This calorie count burns my fuse.
07.10.2020
Theme picked:4
In Praise of the Ode Poetry.
A button on my shirt will not stay
if I keep on eating away.
Everybody agrees that it doesn’t look right
if a shirt I wear appears too tight.
I have to give my eating habits a rest
if I want to stop the burgeoning of my chest.
What an embarrassing predicament
when I can’t find any clothes that will fit.
If I don’t want anymore buttons to pop,
my eating habits are what I have to stop.
Calories are the little buggers that get into your wardrobe at night
and sew your clothes tighter. My closet's infested with these parasites.