Best Calculator Poems
I glanced out my window watchin' kids plod along to school today.
I recalled my school days and how things have changed along the way
I watched the little fellers hunched over with their over-loaded packs.
'Tis a wonder the little dudes don't develop a twitch in their sacroiliacs!
I wore overalls and shoes that I was told by Mom I'd better not scuff!
Nowadays, kids are sportin' Rebok shoes and all kinds of fancy stuff!
If they don't have the latest and greatest, they're bound to pitch a snit!
Appearances mean everything even to kindergartners, on the face of it!
To begin school in days of yore, I was required to supply a pot of glue,
Couple of No. 2 pencils with erasers, ruler, ink and a ruled pad or two.
Wrapped in a newspaper for lunch, a baloney sandwich and apple for a snack.
When my grandkids showed me their list of supplies, I nearly had a cardiac!
Included were - a backpack, Rigatoni noodles, crayons and composition books,
A cell phone, calculator, protractor and for reading, one of those fancy Nooks,
Facial tissues, scissors, a ruler, colored pencils, pencil sharpener and erasers,
Elmers glue, Ziploc bags, a ream of paper and plastic dividers to use as spacers!
One change of clothes in case of accident to include underwear, pants and socks,
Disinfectin' wipes, three-ring binders and a padlock for individual locker locks!
I am caused to pause and ponder how we "oldies" got a solid education,
Sans all the geegaws and fancy frills that are now required for graduation!
Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired
© All Rights Reserved
Based on BBC news article "Maths zeroes in on perfect cup of coffee"
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/science-environment-37989169
Two billion cups a day we drink
To stay awake so we can think
Tireless workers - every nation
Need a caffeine drink equation
Lattes, mochas, cappuccinos
Our calculator super heroes
Measured, reasoned, wrote a theorem
Clockwork system - mighty fearsome
Divide the beans and add hot water
Multiplies the bean aroma
Takes away the taste chaotic
Get this right - it's sums and logic
China cups the theory goes
Helps the smell go up you nose
Cardboard mug with plastic roof
Not as good, but where's the proof?
But their reason's most disjoint
Like whole numbers - has no point
You just need a rule of thumb
QED for us dumb-dumbs
(Entry for "wake up with coffee or tea" contest - shortened to meet rules)
Mother says when he let me down,
I tore up the flowers from the neighbor’s garden.
I do not recall this, but his failing me
has left a lasting impression.
Written Dec. 1, 2015 by Andrea Dietrich
for nette onclaud's "Fallen in 25-30 words" Poetry Contest
30 Words total by the Word Count Calculator
Written about my father, whom my mother divorced before I turned five.
The doghouse needs a paint job now our dog and I have swapped
our sleeping quarters after making sure, that the penny dropped.
You see I shut up the missus which was a blessing at the time,
but to have her being speechless, in our house is a crime.
It was a Sunday afternoon when my problem starts to flare,
and me on my seventh stubby, so began her questionnaire.
‘How many beers do you drink daily?’ She first said to me,
and I shrugged ‘I dunno; maybe I’d average three.’
‘Three’ she says, ‘every day. So how much do you pay?’
I’m not sure and so I said to her, ‘five bucks each I’d say.’
And of course, this set her mind, towards onward thinking,
so, then she’s asking me, ‘how long have you been drinking?’
When I replied ‘twenty years,’ she went for something greater
to go shaming me by using, her mental calculator,
‘Five dollars each and three per day; each month five-forty bucks.
In just one year that’s seven grand, and boy oh boy that sucks.’
What could I say; she’s right – I took a bite of humble pie,
and waited for the next tirade once she looked me in the eye,
‘If you multiply by twenty, and leave out inflation,
you’ve spent one-forty thousand in a wasteful situation.’
Drinking beer is wasteful! Has she lost her flamin’ mind?
And if I thought she’d finished; that thought soon declined;
‘If you did not drink beer, do you know what you could have done?
You could have saved with interest, and our troubles would be none.’
‘You could have brought an aeroplane after all those twenty years,
instead of flushing down the toilet, all those wasteful beers,’
but then one quote from me, is enough to send her near insane,
‘Seeing you’ve not had a glass of beer, where’s your aeroplane?’
back in my day
there was no technology
nothing like nowadays
the calculator was
considered cheating
in math class
in my day girls got hauled
into the principal's office
for wearing their skirts too short
we also had bullies and troublemakers
who started all the rumors
but thankfully we had no facebook
in my day essays were
neatly written in long hand
on lined paper ~ no computers
in my last year of highschool
I got a portable typewriter
I felt so grown up
I rather liked school it turned out
so I moved away to university
and lost touch with people I knew
it was before email and networking
years later I tried to reach out to a few but most girls
moved or got married and changed their names
feels like a hundred years ago ~
AP: 3rd place 2021
Posted on May 17, 2021
“For I have seen you from far places
Shinning in bold light because you are made
Of Copper and tellurium; CuTe,
You are like the transition metals
You display love of many colours,
You are the sunshine that speeds up the release of
Oxygen I breathe in gears of photosynthesis,
How cute?
Periodic table of my love,
May we physically bond?
And be like the ionic bond
To display our love like graphs on the Cartesian plane
May our love be hard to fuse like
Like ions with the intra-molecular forces of attraction
Be like an equal sign,
And you call me “Lo” and I’ll call you “Ve”
So we can produce a product called LOVE when we fuse?
Damsel you are like a sensory neurone to me,
You act like an enzyme on my happiness,
You duplicate my happiness to its level best,
You become a protractor when I’m down there,
My oxygen,
My love gene,
My star akin
That shines my goal scene
How?
You become a kinetic energy
When I’m drowned by poverty
Caused by long struggle of loneliness,
My love,
My heart,
You are the love in the oxygenated blood
That enters my double pump
Through the pulmonary vein,
You are like a scientific calculator that smoothens
My number struggle,
May I say?
May I play with you like letters of algebra?
May I be the gradient in that steep slope
That will take us to the home of our love?
I mean the periodic table of our need
Let’s heed through like a linear sequence
And be like…
Periodic table of my love.
Let’s make love and shine like crystals obtained
After crystallisation,
Accelerate uniformly like a pair of ethanol as it slangs
Between bonds of chlorophyll,
Let’s chill and make our love our quadratic homework,
So you will tell me when I’m wrong like when it reads Error 1,
2 or 3,
My periodic table of love,
I want to watch your curves that reminds me of the brackets in
Mathematics,
Touch your majestic body that makes me to cry when I’m about
To slice an onion,
May our love be like the mitochondrion?
May you be my nucleus?
And guide me like equations of motion,
Drive my innocent mind into your bosom akin to
That of an angel,
Periodic table of my love,
Be my love,
Be my time,
Be my tickler,
Be my world,
Be the periodic table of my love.”
You can minus the clothes
Divide the legs
Add in a bed;
Get a VCT so diseases aren’t spread
Use a rubber just incase
You multiply; and he breaks your heart like a vase
but don’t take my word for it;
DO THE MATH
Use a calculator
She says,
She’s got a perfect figure so guys try to measure
They try to calculate her
They wish to divide her heart and never leave a remainder
I whispered in her ear and told her
Don’t let a fraction in, cause bad boys will ditch you and then
COCK-YOU-LATER.
During my elementary, high school and college educational quest,
I struggled to do my very best on every mathematical test.
I was a "B" student in English, History and Art as I recall,
But I never mastered the mysteries of mathematics at all!
Basic arithmetic such as division and multiplication left me at sea.
Even simple addition and subtraction overwhelmed me to a degree!
Trying to conquer the times-table gave me a shocking jolt!
Alas, teachers considered me a hopeless mathematical dolt!
Geometry baffled me as to which were acute and obtuse angles,
And even more perplexing were isosceles and scalene triangles!
Beyond me were the formulas for figuring the areas of hexagons,
Trapezoids, pyramids, circles, cubes and five-sided pentagons!
Teachers told me that for my future, algebra was indispensable.
Maybe so, but variables and coefficients were incomprehensible!
My limited intellect couldn't comprehend quotients and binomials,
Nor integrers, exponents, irrational numbers and trinomials!
Needless to say, I didn't attempt calculus or trigonometry!
Those disciplines were as foreign to me as parabolic geometry!
I'm eternally grateful to that selfless, ingenioius creator,
Who eased my plight by inventing the handy calculator!
Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired
© All Rights Reserved
As a child, he outlasted the nine-month process and lasted ten months within his mother's womb. Ten months inside made him different than us.
A child who was classified with brilliant mathematical skills.
Skills which are widely used by many others within our daily lives.
Life comes within numeral equations just as Albert explained within his theory with numbers.
Numbers are so common no one knows why
Perhaps If we all study it carefully, we'll know why
Every mathematical number has its explanation
finding an answer to every solution or problem
Maybe then we will know why.
Mathematics has many languages using alphabets and numbers
No one yet knows how mathematics came to be.
Only Einstein studied every possible solution; No one knows why.
Maybe with a team of mathematical geniuses, we can find out why.
They study harder than others, and we all know why.
They research to find answers and solutions to problems unanswered.
They ideal question is what is the mathematical answer.
Can you tell me how it came to be?
Do you know why Albert Einstein became such a brilliant man?
Maybe then we will all know
How and why math became to be!
Can you please tell me why math frustrates me?
Math frustrates me dearly, does it frustrate you as well?
Finding answers to solutions irritates me.
When A equals B What is the answer can you please tell me?
It's complicated to me.
Math is a numeral language difficult to understand.
Only mathematical geniuses know that numeral language
They can surely find out the answer for me.
Maybe the solution is somewhere within the problem.
Perhaps a mathematical genius can find it for me.
A calculator will not make it easier for me
Maybe an abacus can solve the problem for me.
Then I'll know the answer to the problem, because-
it would be less complicated for me.
Math is a figurative language too difficult to solve.
Only a genius can solve it for me.
Albert Einstein wrote it for me to see
Maybe another math genius can answer it for me.
Funny Numbers
Poem
Lionel Derbyshire
2 Whom it may
Concern
Numb I have suffered
And by God done I am
Lord..
So many characters
Too many teachers
Yell and try to tell
How to sauce
The spice of life
By virtue
Two are true
So boo woo
And I am just
A baby day old.
Two you fall in love
4 you will rue
They break your heart
In 25 pieces
And give you
Zero back.
It's the beginning
They four get
And it end's
Like 12th of never
Nevermind
Some were I source
Yes eyesore's they were
They endangered species
They remember
And blame you 33 times.
B 4 U
Put them on ice
Have a double
And tot with no trouble.
Now a triple
And equal them
To zero.
I once went to supper
We eight
The food was dumb
Their woman beautiful.
Even 11 is even
If you hush out 1
Now I am one
Goin solo
Not duo
First in line
Sho go away
Want to be alone
Whimper somewhere else.
It's my album.
I start my life
To count
Up to five.
I know the abc
A B C
It's incredible code.
I am no 123456789
Use the calculator
Electric arithmetic
One in a billion
Nor the first
I count on me' self
Digit fidget fiddle
The credit or debit
Switch don't twiddle
A stitch saves nine
Overdrafted with
NineTea six
Needles and pins
Arithmetic rhythm
Hum de wow
After 5 minutes
Hum de whaa.
Caught 22
You get it ...
Make that change
You with 007 figure ? ..
Copyright relax ..
Odd man very odd
You will be 66 and
Still outstanding gold.
Zero zero seven
I give you 10
from 10.
But I ..
A Adam
Eye for one
Be the first 1
In A billion.
2 Whom it may concern
So now you happy
You know me
Or You.
People not knowing fidget, look around the room knocking the table as they cradle their heads.
People knowing frantically write their thoughts, feet planted, eyes crossed with creases as information is translated from the calculator to their sheet.
Elbows, forearms planted on the desk occasionally, unconsciously scratching ears.
Cutting the air is a cough, a sniff, a paper being flicked, people moving in chairs.
The walls don’t stop the echo of the teacher next door, muffled voices of people.
Pens down. Slap! The pencil hits the table, the race has finished, who won.
You think your smart
but I’m smarter too.
You think your bright
but vision lacks within your sight.
Why say these things do I?
Because brighter smarter, I can sigh.
Dare not indignant ask me why.
Answer quick, I know
the means times square and pie
declare you to I.
These numbers smart do not make you.
Stunned and shocked to reevaluate and ask I am who?
If not a number calculator my self I find is not true.
Based on BBC news article "Maths zeroes in on perfect cup of coffee"
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/science-environment-37989169
Two billion cups a day we drink
To stay awake so we can think
Tireless workers - every nation
Need a caffeine drink equation
Lattes, mochas, cappuccinos
Our calculator super heroes
Measured, reasoned, wrote a theorem
Clockwork system - mighty fearsome
No longer need barista instinct
Random variations extinct
Future bistros turn bizarre
Robots running coffee bars
Divide the beans and add hot water
Multiplies the bean aroma
Takes away the taste chaotic
Get this right - it's sums and logic
China cups the theory goes
Helps the smell go up you nose
Cardboard mug with plastic roof
Not as good, but where's the proof?
Coffee can't be served alone
You don't need maths - it's just well known
Donut, muffin you could try
Bagel, biscuit, slice of pi
But their reason's most disjoint
Like whole numbers - has no point
You just need a rule of thumb
QED for us dumb-dumbs
Which is the greatest conduct of them all,
which one denies terpitude & futility most strenuously,
which exhalts productivity & nobility most vigorously,
is there a single method of action, behavior of best results
that is preeminent & priority above all others, a vangaurd conduct marshalling the rest,
I am the voice of Sympathy,
where there is woe, misery, lamentations abounding like leaves on trees
you'll find me, not as uplifting but reveling,
speaking as Efficiency I confidently state that none is more pivatol
to success or goal, on my balance constructs & destructs are indistinct,
Compassion, the cornerstone of virtue, I am enabler of empathy,
the isolated instructor from within,
the summons of sorrow & vision of victory,
as Education I say essentially,
expansion of intellect shrinks the world & ignites ingenuity
fascillitating personal progress like the breeze pollenates,
the attitude of Art, this is I, violent epiphany,
serene sensations & resolute reflections,
a communicator of a cosmic kind, imagination hammering,
I'm the bell holler,
the quaint choir of warm Exhaltation,
a muse of meditations & mandalas, I build temples from tissues
and citadels where fears nest,
calculator of consequences, a storm of precise pursuit,
I am that which commands, conquers & survives demolition,
Leadership, heart's precinct,
you cannot deny my supremacy,
I am that ravenous stimulation which can kill or invite life,
Copulation is the term, that impetus which fascinates,
Love is my name,
I engender shame, pride & sacrafice,
a mountain whose summit always rises,
I arouse life forces to ever increasing standards,
Warfare, desire's demon,
you all blame me for the wrongs & feverishly recruit me
when your charms fail,
I am fire upon the soft flower of rewards -
J.A.B.
What is the value of time
The price of a tick or a tock
Some people say, "Time is money"
Yet they're always watching their clock
A clock shows time is passing or past
Look now and then look later
But clocks have a face with moving hands
And look nothing like a calculator
We know that time has value
Cause it's what we desire the most
Maybe not while we're wasting it
But certainly when death comes close
When trying to accomplish a feat or a task
Are you concerned with the time it takes
Instead of doing it regardless of time
You're thinking about time you could waste
I'll leave you to think on my favorite quote
This one's a little more pleasant
Yesterday is the past, tomorrow's the future
Today's a gift, that's why it's called the PRESENT
an original poem by the "poemdog" Daniel Turner
Based on quotes by William Penn, John Wooden and Bill Keane