Best Brussels Sprouts Poems
My Dearest Lee…How we miss thee!
Please come back…here is our plea…
If you’d come back, we agree…
To eat cold Brussels sprouts and a pea
To swim across the Yellow sea
To take you on a shopping spree
To suck the stinger from a bee
To take you to Vail and let you ski
To shine your name on a marquee
To rig you kids’ spelling bee
To let you race in the Grand Prix
To arrange with the queen, afternoon tea
To kick Chris and Frank in the knee
To give up our glass of Chablis
To let you win every game of yahtzee
To run around naked, like a banshee
Lee, please come back and hear our plea
Then we will all be yellin’ “YIPPEE”
*Now Lee…we would never really kick Chris and Frank in the knee b/c we love them dearly but the rest is true :) We really miss your style of poetry…your message pieces…your unique way of telling a story. Please come back to us my dear.
By: Natalie The Rogue Rhymer :)
Savez vous planter les choux
A la mode de chez nous?
(French nursery rhyme)
You should eat your cabbage up my son
It's really quite delicious
May I forego the pleasure Ma
To me it is pernicious
But it must be good for you my dear
With vitamins A,B and C
I would eat it if I could mama
But it stinks like the Sargasso Sea
It's filled with anti-oxidants
Should give energy like a comet
Well that may be but quite frankly my dear
It makes me want to vomit
Won't you give them another try my love
And see the way it feels
I might have a go had they not
The redolent scent of performing seals
Should I work so hard to plant and crop
When you must reject my choring
Must you take it all so personally
It can be rather boring
How might I get through to you my son
I could e-mail, or text or whatsapp
A Morse code in cabbage and Brussels sprouts
Would still smell like a wrestler's ****strap
The government should pass a law
That cabbage shall make us all dapper
They can send me a personal copy
I will use it in the crapper
The schools must know that cabbage is good
They should teach it in all their classes
The schools can take their cabbages
And stick them up their curriculum
The pope ought to issue an edict
'Brassica salubritas est'
Enough! already! I will give it a try
If you’ll just get it off your chest
Aimez vous manger les choux?
Je crois bien que vous etes fous
Me, the contrarian,
hardcore vegetarian,
Would rather eat wombat snouts
than brussels sprouts.
The ABCs of Things Green
Algae, alligator, artichoke, asparagus, aphids, Andradite,
Brussels sprouts, broccoli, Buffalo Treehopper, and beans,
Cuckoo Wasp, Cabbage, cucumber, Common Green Darner, and celery
Dog Day Cicada, Delphinium flowers diopside and dioptase, (rocks),
Emeralds, eyes, endive, evergreen trees, Emerald Ash Borer, Epidote
Ferns, Forests, Frogs, Fungus, Fork-tailed Bush Katydids, and fushite
Green Macaw, Green Jay, green onions, green bottles and boxes
Honeydew melons, Habanera chilies, and Hellebore,
Indian peas, Irish moss, Iceberg lettuce, Ivy, and Iguanas,
Jade vine, Jack-in-the-pulpit, Jade, and the Jolly Green Giant
Kale kelp, katydid, kiwi fruit, kohlrabi, and the Keel Billed Toucan’s bill,
Leeks, lemons, limes, leaf hoppers, leafy greens, and Leprechauns,
Mint jelly, Magnolia, Green Jumping Spider, Morrisonite Jasper, Malachite
New Zealand spinach, Napa cabbage, the Nile River, and Nephrite Jade,
Olives, Ostrich fern, okra, Oak leaf lettuce, olive Sparrow and onion,
Praying Mantis, peas, potato, parsnip, Peach-faced Lovebird, and Prehnite,
Question is, What green thing starts with Q? Some quarks do.
Runner-beans, Ruby-throated Hummingbird, Rose quartz, and Rue,
Saddleback Caterpillars, Southern Emerald Moths, snow peas, Serpentine
Tadpole, Turtle, Turf, Turnip greens, Turaco, and Toxic Torbenite,
Unripe bananas and Ugli fruit (both are green then orange)
Velvet Beans, Vidalia Onions, Vegetable leaves, Varovite, and Varisite
White-winged Parakeet, watercress, winter purslane, and wild leek
Xigua melon is a yummy treat
Yellow onions, Yellow-chevroned parakeet, Yellow-green vireo, and yarrow,
Zuchini is the last, but not the least of the ABC’s of Things Green.
I don't care about turkey,
chicken wins hands down.
No need for any gravy,
it is never dry.
Add baked potatos,
some brussel sprouts too.
Yummy, yum,
yum!
The chicken, a lowly bird
In turkey's shadow
On the day it should be safe
It rests on my plate
Next to Brussels sprouts
and double baked potatoes
Baptized with
Wine!
For Andrea Dietrich's "Make me drool" contest.
Automaton green beans
soon ruled the planet.
Resistance was futile
we were conditioned to think
they were good for us.
If only they had been
brussels sprouts,
Tis the season once again
For me to cast my vote
This year I'm going Bananas
Instead of Artichoke
When it comes to Apples & Oranges
They're pretty much the same
As I close the curtain on the booth
And just start punching names
Asparagus is tops on my list
Much more than Brussels Sprouts
What Veggie will lead the charge
We'll have to wait to find that out
So let's freshen up the voting block
And somewhere in between
As we vote raw our favorite vegetable
The rest of them we'll steam
There's a land to visit in your dreams
a place that really has, it seems,
no Brussels sprouts or cauliflower,
no cabbage, broccoli or sauer-
-kraut or parsnips or broad beans,
and where peas truly are the only greens.
Spuds they bake there have some crunch
so they go quite well with Sunday lunch.
And, to get apple pie or creamy whips
you only have to eat your chips.
So close your eyes and try to find
The Land Of Kale Much Maligned,
where Popeye, building superpowers,
shuns spinach and instead devours,
guess what, to give him strength supreme?
Yes! Lots of scones with jam and cream!
After Eight Mints
Anchovies
Apple Pancakes
Applesauce
Atlantic Cod
Barbecue Sauce
Black Bean Soup
Blue Cheese
Blueberry Pancakes
Brussels Sprouts and Lamb
Buttermilk
Caribou Liver
Carrots
Cauliflower
Chicken Breast
Chicken Patty
Chicory Roots
Chocolate Pudding
Chocolate Pudding !!!
Cinnamon Raisin Bagel
Coffee Cake
Coleslaw
Donkey Balls
Dried Plums
Durian Fruit
Garlic
Garlic Roast Chicken
Green & Yellow Peppers
Green Leaf Lettuce
Grilled Cheese
Hamburger
Hashed Brown Potatoes
Honey Pops
Horseradish
Iron Steak
Jellied bouillon with frankfurters
Jelly Sandwich
Marinara Sauce
Melba Toast Crackers
Milky Way Bar
Mozzarella Cheese
Muffins
Onions
Pasta Shells
Peanut Butter
Plain Bagel
Pot Pie
Potato Medley
Potatoes
Queso Asadero
Salisbury Steak
Shredded Gruyere
Shrimp
Smoked Chicken Sandwich
Smoked Ham
South-western Sandwich
Turkey Pastrami on Rye
Waffles
Weight Watchers Chicken Enchiladas
Whole Wheat Bread
He comments Beuys’ art
they hang to his dentalia
in slimy appearance
menus on wrapping paper
then
note the mental thing
yes, yes, he said so,
and where are the nuts
the crackers, the slow food
crisscross
crosscriss
a cookie with my coffee
still harvests thoughts
wrong war thoughts
so wrong during the war
November sun
warms a sanitary finger
and goldfish in my hand
hidden under fallen leaves
in brown memories
alma
Explanation
Joseph Beuys is a controversial artist, one of his
works is called 'food for thought'. I saw this at
the museum of psychiatry when I guided some folks;
theme of the exposition was "lost in memory".
Next to the museum is the garden where 3 of my
sculptural works can be visited. We did so.
From the very moment my Mom taught me how to use a spoon,
From her mouth was uttered that old familiar tune:
"The kids in Asia are starving, now Bobby, clean your plate!"
Her admonition was final and left no tolerance for debate!
I tried to foist upon the hapless dog a helping of bony fish.
Even he would gag trying to swallow that vapid dish!
I'd toy with them and try to hide the tasteless peas.
I could barely abide them, even in bites of twos and threes!
Even tho' Mom concealed them with cheese, I had my doubts,
About a malodorous little veggie called Brussels sprouts!
I'd surreptitiously sneak them on to the plate of little brother,
Thereby, avoiding the reproof to clean my plate by my Mother!
There was the delicate matter of dealing with broccoli and beets,
Okra, spinach, turnips, hominy and other such disgusting eats.
In my feckless youth I thought such fare rather untoward,
But soon learned that to survive, you ate what was on the board!
When side-stepping along the chow line in the military service,
They often slopped mysterious stuff on my tray, making me nervous.
When I joined the service, I hoped never again to hear Mom's old cliche,
But, even those mean old sergeants screamed, "Private! Clean your tray!"
Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired
© All Rights Reserved
Tied for No. 1 in PD's "Any Random Poem" Contest - July 2011
Dear Lord this year to save time being lost
remind me- Turkey, Christmas Eve- defrost.
And when it's in the oven, leave no doubt
that I forgot to take the giblets out.
Five loaves, two fishes you fed five thousand,
may I feed six with far less food to hand
since each year bags of food we buy a few
the wheelie bin eats better than we do.
You love little children, what joy they bring,
for me, as tranquilizer, Sherry's king.
I pray , Lord, as I open my gift box
I look pleased with my snowman themed bed socks.
Please let me use only the choicest words
when queueing for pork pies at dawn, at 'Birds' *.
We thank you for the gift of Brussels sprouts
and hinged windows to let the odours out.
Peace keeper may I be as it gets late
and nobody offers to wash the plates.
Above all, Lord, may I remember who
this season is about, and it is you.
* Birds is our local bakery
Brussels sprouts for breakfast, Brussels sprouts for lunch,
Sprouties served with iced champagne to make the perfect brunch!
Boiled and drowned in butter, or juiced to make a punch,
Brussels sprouts the tasty treat that I just love to munch!
Now I love to have a pet around but not a cat or dog,
Don't want no flop-eared bunny, or fat pot bellied hog.
My sprout plant does not need a walk and never gives me fleas,
Just lots of tender Brussels sprouts and I call her Louise!
Sprouties by the bowl full, sprouties by the plate,
I'd like to have a buck for very Brussels sprout I've ate.
When I take my final dirt bath, just so there are no doubts...
Plant me in a steamer trunk well packed in Brussels sprouts.
Why are parents so mean,
when I won't eat anything green?
No broccoli, brussels sprouts, green beans, or green grapes,
these will always stay on my plate.
So, here I sit watching the green things wrinkle,
while I cross my legs holding my tinkle.
I got to get up, stuff them in my mouth, and
while in the bathroom, barf them all out.
Parents can be so mean,
if you don't eat anything green.
Don't know if you've ever had this affliction
This affliction called Grumble Tummy
Sometimes quite humorous how it vocalizes
With some very strange sounds quite funny
Haven't got a clue what's going on down there
Thought it might be constructing a dam
In an attempt to divert some stuff it's not fond of
Like beets and brussels sprouts from a can
Don't think it appreciates processing that stuff
Would rather have ice cream and pop
Guess it's not wild bout my changing lifestyle
It moans and grumbles nonstop
Told my tummy you better get used to it
It's what you can expect from now on
Asked to keep the grumbling down to a roar
But it's allowed from bedtime till dawn
© Jack Ellison 2013
I like to watch skeins of geese flying in the autumn sky,
And I like the smell of frying bacon and luscious cherry pie!
I like to see the sun tinting Pikes Peak's crown in the early morn,
And the glorious Colorado sky as the sun ends its daily bourne!
I like to feel the tug of a rainbow trout on my fishing line,
And graceful garlands of snow adorning a ponderosa pine!
I like quiet evenings with my spouse nigh a warm and glowing fire,
Where we reminisce and dream of things for which we would aspire!
I like family reunions with my kids, grandkids, uncles and aunts,
And this may sound curious, but I like sharp creases in my pants!
I like to sit on the patio to muse and watch the squirrels at play,
And I like to go to church for inspiration, fellowship and to pray!
I like to listen to classical music or bury my nose in fascinating book,
And take leisurely evening strolls along a rushing mountain brook!
I like ice cream, tater chips, meatloaf, Brussels sprouts and chicken fried,
And I like the American flag that I shall always salute with pride!
I like it when the Denver Broncos and the Colorado Rockies win!
(But, alas, neither team is doing that well, much to my chagrin!)
I like to hear the rolling thunder and rain gently falling on my roof,
And the rhythmic clip-clop upon the pavement of a horse's hoof!
I like barbeques and fireworks in the park on Independence Day,
And the mulitude of stars winking at me from the Milky Way!
I like the smell of roses and the rejuvenation of April showers,
And I like work - I can sit and watch it for hours and hours!
I like the charm and beauty of a little child's beguiling grin.
I like Laurel and Hardy and Jack Benny with his squawking violin!
I like to socialize with folks with can-do attitudes and high ambitions!
(I like most everything I reckon, 'cept sloven schmucks and politicians!)
Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired
© All Rights Reserved