Best Brand Name Poems


Upside Down Pompous Cake

½ cup sass
1 tbsp eye roll
2 cups suprirotive 
1 cup white privilege 
½ tsp rudeness
1 brand new car, softened 
5 oz brand name clothing
A dash of allof, to taste 

Add all ingredients together, while whisking in misinformed news media. Mix thoroughly for pretentious.

Three Questions

The Pyrex Question

All my life I have been quite confused.
My concern is the brand name Pyrex.
At the start I was glad, quite enthused.
It's clear to me now I'm under a hex.

I've searched all the aisles quite in vain.
I can find Pyre-X, but I sigh.
Do tell me before I'm insane.
Where on earth can I find Pyre-Y?


The Moses Question

I've a friend whose name is a verb.
His name isn't Harry or Barney or Herb.
His name is short. It's unique. It's sing'lar.
His name is Moses, a verb that is reg'lar.
 
I know it's a verb. Just let me prove this..
You conjugate verbs. It's easy. Can't miss.
Conjugate thusly: I close and he closes.
I see and you saw. I mose and he moses.

See? It's a verb. Point proved. QED.
There's only one problem.
I know lots of words, more words than those.
My question is, what is it to mose?


The Oral-B Toothbrush Question

My mind reels, I have questions, I do wonder:
Are they ranked first to last, low to high?
Can you find just the best without blunder?
I'm not sure how to choose but I try.

1 is better than 2: that we know.
D's no good, C's ok (so we say).
I have found Oral B ... but oh no!
Where oh where can I find Oral A?
© John Mudge  Create an image from this poem.

Premium Member Flour Sacks

Life was hard in the money department
My parents had what was called a paid job
Just over basics it was evident
Someone else ate the corn, they got the cob

Life was grand, week to week we ate biscuits
There was sidemeat on our plate with syrup
The salt made the sweet dance by castanet
That simple food had what is called one-up

Then mother lost her job, more biscuits served
Hollyhock flour purchased by twenty pounds
Its brand name stamped across the sack in red
She bleached letters off, she didn't mess around

Fabric to make shirts for me to wear to church
Embroidered by a friend 'pon collar and sleeves
I wore them like a princess, now for them search
In my heart, and for those beautiful clothes grieve 

Finis'
Sponsor: Judy Konos
Contest: Whatever Happened To Flour Sacks
I saw some flour sacks at Wal-Mart in the last few years
and it was only one time..I did notice that it cost more 
to get the flour sacks..I remember when I began to 
learn to sew that mother gave me flour sacks to 
fancy up to put in my hope chest..I did a technique
where I pulled threads out which left an open weave
on the ends to make fancy dish towels..I also embroidered
them with fancy designs to put in my hope chest..When
I was newly married my mother-in-law would get flour
in a sack with a dish towel sewn into the end seam on it..
I guess one flour company trying to outdo another company.


Character Sketch of Me

Born in Cincinnati that buckeye state 
January 13th 1959 – 57+ years to date
A tangle of arms & legs testing lungs, which sounded great
He kind of resembled a misshapen octopus with oval pate
Glowering inxs of deep purple from blue mood being irate
Thrust out the womb of Harriet Harris whom Boyce did date
After courting this youngest Kuritsky kin whose ill-fate
Whisked by grim reaper, which demise she did hate
For her being imbued with vim and vinegar til illness ate
Away her je nais sais quois personable maternal trait
Evident during my boyhood reflected by her son of late
As he too inches closer to his mortality and Hades gate
Aware that each day ought to be cherished as the rate
Of time courses down that zip line where grim reaper does wait
Attired in brand name hoodie swinging scythe across oblate
Spheroid i.e. terrestrial firmament – though many years some great
Yet to be lived – trying to recapture childhood bliss before freight
Train on a collision course toward self-destruction ala tete a tete
With Anorexia Nervosa as thy then coveted deadly mate
A brutal hellish spiral down into abysmal depths of despair did create
Indelible psychological affects undermined existence I now equate
writ horrendous emotional, physical and social upon head of mate
Pledged his troth (almost 2 decades ago), which spouse doth berate
For lack of expressed concern and attests schizoid psychic slate
irrevocably seared and stunted natural development where I rate
prepubescent, early adulthood mental illness did grate
Against once boisterously playful innocent boy crushed potentate
Only male heir from me deceased mother who tried to extirpate
Mailer daemons who forged suicide pact and via voice did dictate
Albeit without success, yet decry forsaken innate
Experiences with female relationships lured my own poisoned bait!

Premium Member Shopping For Bread

This should be easy
Store Baked? (assumes better)
Brand Name? (assumes integrity)

Store baked:
39 lines of ingredients
4 of those lines real food

Brand names:
Same as above, but
Ahhh!
Found!

A brand from Milwaukee
(rye)
4- lines
Edible ingredients!

Nice slice of spam
Perfect!


11/27/13

If I Did All That My Momma Taught Me

If I did all that my momma taught me

I would live in a clean home
And always wear perfume

I would say thank yous
And how do you do?s

I would find brand name bargains
And have no hand me downs

I would always wash dishes
Keep everything in shipshape

I would manicure my toenails
And walk with smaller steps

I would leave parties early
And wake up cheerfully

I would boast less, smile more
Eat less, exercise more

Call my friends and family
Compliment them often

Save more money
And sit in simple comfort

If I did all that my momma taught me
I would not be me

I don't even think
My momma would be pleased

To never get to do
What she does best--

To counsel and fix me
Or to constantly worry!


Premium Member Double-O Somethng

A dozen passports, with his photos, confused the law wherever he’s been--
Because he lives in the shadows, and has a number instead of a name.
He spends most nights in casinos, with ladies of dubious fame,
And wears the choicest tuxedos, with the most impressive brand name.

He’s a Double-O-something.  It’s said he’s got a license to kill.
You better take my meaning: if he says he’ll get you, he will!

He always drives something faster, with accessories you just can’t buy,
Which leaves trails of disaster.	You can’t catch him, don’t even try!
You might spot him in Paris, tailing a gangster or drinking fine wine;
Or playing cards with a terrorist, who soon will be doing hard time.

He’s a Double-O-something.  It’s said he’s got a license to kill.
You better take my meaning:  if he says he’ll get you, he will!

On a Pencil Eraser

I hold this eraser in my hand
with a whale on it
smiling above the two lines that mark the waves
and the name of the brand
to erase and be erased 
is written beneath the beady eyed whale.
A line to make it smile 
two to make its universe
no colours have these waves 
and the whale smiles for not being blue.
Its tail has already dissolved 
along with the last letter of the brand name
in the words of lead
written in thoughtlessness
by 'wanton children'.
To undo a child's folly 
must this smile be gone?
These waves and a big name all?
For Man who erred in words 
and dissolved my whale's innocent little world
in words?

"jiffy Pear, No Egg Cake"

A.) Jiffy white cake mix :  2 boxes

      Dole pear halves : 1 can (no juice)(heavy or light syrup)

      Canola oil: 1/2 cup

       Seasoned rice vinegar(Brand name Mizkan,Nakano):  1/2 tsp.

        Sugar (C & H): 1 cup

B.) Mix or blender: Pear blended up in mixer  without syrup

C.) 7 x10 pan: use parchment or wax paper, aluminum foil 
    
D.)Pam cooking spray: or not 
     (if do, lace pan after, with a tsp. of cake mix or flower
         
E.)Bake: 20 min to 30 min  at 375 

F.)Can use: uses your imagination 
     Cool wipe /wipe cream
     vanilla ice cream
     strawberry ice cream 
     powder sugar mix with milk

always preheat oven at 325 or 350  
and it tastes like you picked the Pears yourself.
not sure, on the freezing in the freezer?  

we all have to help each other in this time of great need!

GOD Bless!

not religious but very Spiritual    

ps. ingredients may need some working on. do whats' best for you.

Premium Member Be That Easy

not like a dream come true..that is not easy.  when my mother died, the tears came easy, be that easy.  big ole town keep giving me small ends.  when you left I wept, yeah again..since I can't get a hold on what it takes to make it right, please come back 'n be like swallowing sweet pancakes and bacon..be that easy.
like slipping on a brand new pair of brand name tennis shoes..be that easy.
Cause I studied for it passing the written test at DMV was a breeze be that easy.
Cause the power that pushed the waves to shore is the same might that takes them back again..again.. and again.
be that easy.

Twisted Dna

although a group of people sustain their lives beautifying 
everything surrounding them 
insisting that everything is good 
because they are God’s creation

while another group of people  
though they also are humans  
swallow and spit out loathsome language
go tottering intoxicated from a foul-smelling-contaminated-air
fuming from the languages they spat out 

after there came an erect postured bipedal primate
which was a trifle creature fed by dust wiggling on the earth  
for thousands of thousands of long years 
eventually they started to share their thoughts 
looking in each others’ eyes 
cultivating, refining words and phrases for better communication 

among those words 
were beautifully polished and preserved phrases 
thru generation after generations of studies and development
they were exclusively used by a specific class of people who enjoy showing off 
and thereby wanted to separate themselves from ordinary people, however, now, the beautiful words and phrases became coarse;
is it because the words were abused by them or 
their sleazy tongues stiffened the phrases?

they lost interest in finding the reasonable reasons
because there was no yard-stick to establish a standard;    
zombies stalk on the street in bright daylight  
the fake brand-name luxurious articles overrun the street
DNA twisted weirdly 
all children are born mutated and therefore have evolved 
to an overly obdurate species, strange world 

there are no family features of daughters like their mother 
or sons who resemble their fathers anymore 
but only a line of families 
like a poorly shaped mosaic landscape made with puzzle pieces 
picked-up from alleys and forcefully placed to make a picture 

they are never satisfied with what they have
and that’s why if you applaud them they demand more,
if their request is rejected they yell and scream at you
with newly invented swear words

rather, like a dead person
no matter how much you extolled him, doesn’t ask more;
even stamped on to humiliate him, won’t cry or say a word
that’s why God may have kept 
everything beautiful beyond men’s reach
that’s why men who live on this side of the world 
shout and scream 
making everything uglier than it should-be 
hanging on to the things they can easily put their hands on
© Su Ben  Create an image from this poem.

An Unlikely Scare

If 'tis a fright, you so desire
Then I shall give thee words most dire
It's of a group that's filled with ire
Towards the common thrift-shop buyer
For what these shoppers do admire
Is lower cost, and not these higher
Prices that plague the attire
Of this group we deem a liar
Behold, the brand name clothing supplier!

Pronounced Side Effect Upon My Dreams

Pronounced side effect upon my dreams...
courtesy Fluoxetine hydrochloride

Fluoxetine Hcl (C17H18F3NO·HCl)
known as Selective Serotonin
Reuptake Inhibitor (SSRI),
especially prescribed to treat
depression, panic disorder,

and obsessive-compulsive disorder
the above symptoms
profoundly experienced by yours truly
said prescription medication
seriously impacts sleep (mine).

Debilitating panic attacks
wrought (particularly years gone by)
physiological displeasures chiefly constituting
vertigo, racing heart, nausea,
excessive perspiration, adrenaline
coursing thru body,

whereby Prozac (brand name regarding
aforementioned synthesized chemical)
ameliorated unbearable, unmanageable, untenable...
earth-shaking, devastating, 
and crushing manifestations
disabling, exhausting, jackknifing... functionality
hijacking life, liberty, and pursuit of happiness.

Essentially yours truly experiences
dilemma analogous to sleep deprivation,
cuz ofttimes upon arising,
I feel utterly tuckered out, exhausted, bushed...
thus zapped body, mind and spirit

ill suited to physical,
mental or spiritual endeavor
subsequently lovely bones (mine)
(pine to join grateful dead)
rather than feebly kickstart
lame effort to write, read or meditate.

Thus respecting Sir Isaac 
Newton's first law of motion
a (human) body at rest 
inertia keeps said entity at rest.

Interestingly enough as
daylight doth wax and wane
casting dark shadows upon urbane
countenance buzzfeeding hidden reservoir 
exerting estimable energy 
decreasing arduous strain

therefore purposefulness,
I seek renewable resource to imbue
garden variety generic
doubting thomas and ordain
him (i.e. me) with spontaneous

magnificent grandiloquent enlightenment
ala Orson Welles Citizen Kane
laughable comparison linkedin
with story extraordinaire quite insane
September 4th, 2020 insight one can gain
perchance even coaxing passable poem
from deep within Matthew Scott Harris' brain.

Cut Rate

We deal in half-the-price knock-offs,
we deal in less-than authenticity
We deal in brand name imitations,
we're a cut-rate company, y'see

We got those faux designer items,
we got those off-seam irregularities
We got those cheap generic products,
we peddle only second-best quality

If you can't afford the real thing,
and you need a substitute instantly
Then get off the couch
and dial these digits
Get on the phone and come talk to me

I'm your intrepid guide
into the world of the half-genuine
Giving you the inside skinny
on the not-original retail grapevine

Three easy payments
is all you're gonna need
to keep your shaky credit clear and free

Once the deal is done,
celebrate with some low priced bubbly
Courtesy of your favorite cut-rate company

Rhymes of Our Times

These kids talk comedy like comics getting banned from Comic Con/ Deferral, denial/ Gone viral like vinyl/ Going platinum/ He's golden/ Native of narrative town/ She gets around/ Like a disc she gets dissed/ Here's that disorder you ordered/ that they'll use to market the market and mark it in marker the colour of blonde/ She gets a bad name that rhymes with the band name/ Such a bland name/ like her brand name/ dressed like a peacock/ He's cocky/ She's so tall like a tall tale/ a tall glass of whatever you like/Glassy-eyed rolling too high/ It's high culture/ High stakes/ What's at stake at the stake where they're burning CDs/ This kid's a prodigy/ a protege/ postponing that big mic drop/ like he's Michael/knows he might fall/He's in the limelight/got that lime juice/dripping tunes like he's Limewire/Such a livewire/serving life that lemonade/With a fashion statement on his bank statement/Released a statement to say he's sorry for his part in the story/these kids got Instagram like instant noodles/ Sippin' on that soup like it's sweet tea/ Slurp it up like fit tea/ Prototype of 'pretty boy'/ It's pretty clear he doesn't think these pretty girls are pretty/ He's tired like his tyres/ still trying to tie himself together/ He lies to them/ Till he's lying flat on his face/ these kids are standing in line/ Not understanding/ It's all a joke/ It's a Jack joke/ In a box joke/All boxed up/ In these boxes that he hides in/

We just take it/Then we fake it/We're all actors/Acting so woke since we woke up/You think that's deep?/ We go deep down into these deep cuts/Diving too deep in this dry drought/Now WE'RE ALL OUT!

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