Best Borderline Poems
We Are All the Same
Listen to the reeds as they sway apart;
Hear them speak of lost friends.
At birth, you were cut from your bed,
Crying and grasping in separation.
Everyone listens, knowing your song.
You yearn for others who know your name,
And the words to your lament.
We are all the same, all the same,
Longing to find our way back;
Back to the one, back to the only one.
Rumi
When songs are sung in tandem
Ambience of speech is smooth
Devoted eyes dote your voice
Obsessed puppy love
When words echo tender tones
Glowing like sapphire gemstones
Not veiled behind metaphors
Tranquil tongue sounds calm
As triggers summon demons
Vivid verses turn vicious
Rage screams like a million crows
Heart shudders with fear
Soul struggles to beat and breathe
Pain feels like paper in rain
Silence is your only guide
Lonely sepulchre
Eruptions begin to ease
An anthem of angels chant
Rainbows colour fading greys
Lovebirds serenade
It's difficult, but please try to understand,
my behaviour is something I cannot command.
At first I'll be serene like a sweet daydream,
but then unstable and intensely extreme.
Enter at your own risk, but be aware,
loving me can turn into a nightmare.
I'm like a grenade, don't pull my trigger,
I'll explode your mind with raging rigor.
My infatuation is like poetic idealisation,
but feeling unloved leads to devaluation.
The first hint of believing you're quitting,
will result in my psyche automatically splitting.
When I begin to feel like I'm not good enough,
I'll try to push you away and call your bluff.
You may label my actions as pathetic dumbness,
but this is me feeling empty with numbness,
so I make no apologies for the ghosting silence,
when my demons set restrictions like sly tyrants.
I try to block out regular paranoid suspicions,
so don't think I'm petty when setting conditions,
but with abandonment issues, I struggle to trust.
Please be sensitive as being patient is a must.
Be warned, my moods are regularly inconsistent.
My double standards may make you feel distant.
I need constant reassurance that you are only mine,
because insecurities make my sanity decline.
I don't want you to suffer like lovers who came before.
When I want to leave, don't let me run out of the door.
I just want to be loved with all my flaws accepted,
instead of being rejected, lonely and neglected.
Treat me gently and my self doubt will settle,
love me sincerely and I'll bloom like a precious petal.
Silent One
28 September 2021
-------------------------------------- ~*note: done in fun and aimed at no one~
try and seed my name you'll concede to shame
no use in calling names to lose the game
yir' ill will is just plain disastrous
asinine avatars deserve an asterisk
as for being fact-less, your slaps don't diss
every lick you spit simply tends to miss
harmless words that curse, rehearsed childishness
gets your face erased and they'll say who's next
as defilement arrives inside your text
that's when shame wheels you back, right to the nest.
~10 syllables in each of 10 rhyming lines~
I sat on the couch in her office.
I'm a piece of work
She asked me "what ails you?"
I smiled because I didn't know better.
I smiled as I spoke of the pills I took last night,
And of the piano tutor who took me
Even though I was only twelve.
I know he was a pervert
But I drowned my sorrows in sherbert
And cut myself for twelve more years.
Her jaw dropped.
The feelings rise out of my body and into the air
Like bubbles in a can of diet cola.
I try to grab on to them
I try to understand the horror on my therapist's face.
The bubbles break on my skin;
All I'm left with is a saccharine grin
And no more insight than I had last night
When lay on my bed with a vial of Xanax and a bottle of gin.
How do I explain
That my emotions are painful
That happiness is euphoria
That anger is blinded rage
That love borders obsession
How do I explain
That my emotions are my enemy
That sadness is suicidal thoughts
That pain is an agonizing fire that consumes me
That emotions are a hurricane
That merged with a tornado and tear away at my body from the inside out
And eventually, reach the people around me
How do I explain
That my actions aren’t always under my control
That the only thing I can feel
Without wanting to break
Is the pain of my own doing
How do I explain
That everyone leaves when I break
Because if you’re in my vicinity
And don’t head my warnings to leave me alone
I lash out with hurtful words and actions
That’ll hurt and break you down
Only for me to regret them soon after
And take it all out on myself
How do I explain
That being alone when I don’t want to be
Turns into an intense battle
A vicious war with myself
To not break and lash out at the ones I love
And to instead remember to stop and breathe
To process reality rationally
How do I explain
That I can’t do things like everyone else
That the simplest task
Become a life or death situation
That it makes me want to scream
How do I explain
That my mind is broken
And I hope you don’t leave
Because the monsters in me are terrible
And I’m still learning to control them
How do I explain
That I fear the love I’m shown
Even though I crave it
That part of me trusts the people close to me
And another part can’t believe a word they tell me
Tell me how do I explain
The mind that is ruled by different personalities
That all feel the pain of a single disorder
That’s so stigmatized by the world
How do I explain
Borderline Personality Disorder
Borderline Personality Disorder: Full Disclosure
There is no I inside,
No consistent self through time.
I know that I am but
Don't know who it is that is,
Who will be tomorrow, or was yesterday.
Sad to be confused.
All there is is nothing,
Like grabbing invisible wind,
Squeezing a fist-full of water.
Sad to be empty.
It makes no sense to do something
By myself for myself.
In relationship I take the back seat.
The other one's life becomes mine.
Sad to have nothing to give.
I know you love me,
But do not believe you do, and
I hate you sometimes too but
Don’t leave or lose me from your heart.
I swear I’ll do anything.
Sad to be afraid to be alone.
Chemically alter my mood? Of course,
And every chance I get.
Sad to not live in my own skin
Anger jumps quick to rage
And I hurt who I desperately love.
Sad to be mean.
No more dreams of who or what to be,
Not goals to achieve with joy
Like happy people have to live for.
Sad to have no future.
Self harm becomes the norm because
It's better than suicide.
Sad to choose between the two.
Emotions twist and scatter, hop about,
Bounce about, smash against each other, or
Splat the sides of my brain and scream.
Sad to be unstable.
Time is long past up for me to be:
Living unbearable despair,
Suffering extreme, unacceptable.
Hamlet’s answer the later.
Sad for loved ones loved.
All those lies,
The creaking on the stairs
Glazed fixed eyes
Upon scuff marked boots
My abrupt croak,
Droned-out by sudden humming
From the refrigerator
My voice falls,
Pitched to the floor
Like suspended in time
To look upon these photos now
Hold nothing but false pretenses
A mirrored hope,
To escape for plummeting slopes
Our roots untouched lay
Fuming in collective dust
Along the many volumes
None would ever breach
Poisingly I held my chin,
Towards the cupping sun
Lapping in all it's warmth
Knowing with just two words
I'd stop the flooding dams, "No More"
Parental desperation
is the dreadful flee bidden cause
Children separation
is the inhumane quarantine effect
Trying to cross the sovereign divide
is narrow mindedly viewed, by more than a few,
as a pestilent travel venture
Ill will is the chilling, unhealthy reception
The uncivil solution: Create an insane policy
for poor souls seeking asylum
Man-made designation is an animal control way station,
(also known as) Borderline K-9 Cages
See the perennially sad puppy eyes
laying fetal prone on the morgue cold, concrete floors
Watch the waning wag of the tongues,
their thirst for freedom dying behind iron bar doors
National psychotic behavior is borderline criminal,
keeping children in cages is morally indefensible
Diamondback mutes devolving into what?
Mental worms turning into heartless slugs!
Children developing separation psychosis
is a lonesome doggone shame
K-9 kids were never meant to be raised in cages,
yet no one wants to bear the blame
But many of the kennel keepers
have gotten so inured to the ear-piercing, borderline pain
And the womb-ripped parents
are never told where the aborted-trip children were taken
She knows she isn't crazy
She knows what she sees....
She binge Eats to make it all go
away....
Yea, her stress....
She becomes depressed.
She can't have a long social
relationship because of her
mood swings...
She can't control herself.
She becomes someone else.
She forgets what she says,
But remembers her actions.
How come she can't get past
them?
She's sweet,
She's caring,
But when she is triggered....
You want to just leave her.
But it's okay...
She's use to it.
She is scared of being alone
She's terrified of going on...
There's nothing she can do.
But the ones who love her the
most,
Will stand by her.....
But please, never get too close.
I've spent the last 7 years trying to find a cure for whatever's wrong with me
The sickness in my head and heart that nobody else can see
The sickness that caused a craving for something i could never find
A sickness that escalated every emotion in my heart and mind
People thought I was attention seeking and completely insane
But what they didn't know is I only did those stupid things as a way to deal with pain
My heart aches for something to fill an empty feeling that won't go away
My brain aches for answers about why I turned out this way
My family gave me the strength and faith to make it through my teenage years
My mum and dad were always there to protect me from my fears
My sisters were there for me too But thought my choices were wrong
I was always to jealous to keep our relationships strong
My relationships have always hurt me and I ended up in pain
They all told me to go kill myself like my emotions were just a game
It didn't matter how many people loved me it was still never enough
So instead of loving people I started loving stuff
I started loving computers, mobiles and everything I could get
I got credit cards and loans I put myself in so much debt
Still the empty feeling was taking over every aspect of my life
Erasing my ability to feel happiness at all and putting me in strife
My family thinks I'm getting better but what they do not know
Is when I am around them I do not let my sadness show
I try not to show my boyfriend but It's too painful to keep my feelings in
So now along with misery and anger i feel guilt for the way I've treated him
How do I know if it's worth it the amount I always try
Maybe this pain will never end, maybe I deserve to die
My diagnosis says my brain was under developed so now I can't deal with pain
I also can't deal with being alone I was destined to turn out insane
I was destined for money problems and drug addiction too
My sickness controls everything in my life, everything I do
I wish My brain couldn't Think and my heart couldn't feel
Maybe feeling nothing would would allow me to heal
My diagnosis says it's not likely to recover so I know I won't be fine
My diagnosis says everything will hurt me, There is no hope for a borderline.
borderline
between what may i ask?
floating whilst the clock ticks by
tears on the night of your life
pain in pleasure
pleasure in pain
doors closed
the slams still echo in your brain
in-prisoned by your own name
dust scatters over where you lay
an endless impossible escape you planned at 5
imprints of those who held you tight
just to leave you in the night
sky’s are blue but your mind is grey
it makes no sense why you feel this way
but at least you know borderline is where you stay
there is safety in that pain
Borderline Drunk
It has been a bad day driving around having
A coffee here and a diet coke there,
The problem was I had been drinking the night
Before and craving for more
Was filling my heads with excuses, the thought
I deserve a drink.... do I merit to suffer?
It is evening now I’m watching Ellen this woman
Who looks like Peter Pan, her audience is mostly
Screaming females and I secretly adore her.
I’m nursing a beer and reflects on the illness of
Alcoholism the tragedy of those who cannot stop
They have my sympathy, but I can’t tell them to
Wait having a drink to after eight o’clock and
Drink a couple of beer.
I've never had a one-night stand,
with me it always was the family plan;
I thought I found Mr. Right
seems I only saw him with blind eyes.
Faithful till the day I die
Yet he has a wandering eye
Pay for things he never does
Wonder why I bear a grudge
Craigslist is his favorite repast
He is forever chasing *Bass
See this, yes, I know he will
Yet I still foot the bill
Why does it seem all men lie
I just want to lie down and die
No Homer Simpson you would meet
if you wanted to be with me
Sometimes nymph no s**t or *Bore
Why would he be seeking more?
Promises broke he loves no one
Wonder why I have no fun
Rules he makes but does not follow
This seemingly makes him very shallow
Tell me now why this shouldn't end.
Why do you still pretend my friend?
Maybe I should follow your lead?
and see what reading Craigslist will seed
(100's of replies latter; amend and recast)
I am aghast I must amend
I have no thoughts of revenge
This ditty may become the final straw
Defeated and broke he'll tell to all
What's good for the goose is good for the gander
Surprise goose, gander is making a stand here
What prompted this one to speak
Deceit hypocrisy of which he reeked
I told you before I have been true
Can you say the same thing too?
My plight you see is not easy
I wish I was not so pretty
Lust is a game I do not trust
Most would say they like its rush
The seed is sown the rhyme will soon end
At start - this time see true my friend
(100's more reply; recast)
I find this awkward without a doubt
Last recourse for me to reach out
To the man, I hoped was true
Before I smiled now I'm blue
The man I thought was right for me
flips Jekyll and Hyde then Mr. Green Jeans
Stop searching for what you see on a screen
Reality differs you've broken my dreams
If you had only eyes just for me
Then this writing you never would read
Happiness found and then you would see
That you are the only man that I need
WRITTEN FOR A FRIEND IN NEED
BORDERLINE
I know I should not feel this way
It is not your fault that no one stays
It is not your fault I have no friends
Not your fault no one can contend
With the craziness inside my head
That makes me with I was dead
That leaves me feeling all alone
That leaves me in this twilight zone
Of paranoia, of fear, moods and depression
A plight for which there is no concession
Inside my head the madness, it screams
I am caught in a nightmare of vicious extremes
It is a life filled with doubt, jealousy and fear
My heart it beats with anguish, bitterness and tears
I am an downer, a drag, always dreary and dark
My mind and heart lack any kind of spark
I feel like a nuisance, a bother, a pest
No wonder I have always felt such detest
No wonder ever one from me flees
I am borderline crazy, can’t you see?
©GDC2014
You're wonderfully made
A seat of my obsessions
Oh my brain!
You're marvellously created
To steer my well-being
Oh my cognition!
You brighten my esteem and deepen my ties
With acceptance and a sense of belonging
So I avoid the lure of substance
It enriches my focus and nurtures my joy
Through diligence and problem-solving
Then I find purpose
You become phobic if threatened
From being indecisive to impulsive
With the persistent guilt that strikes
With stigma and discrimination endured
And the waves of turmoil that set in
Until we depersonalise our emotions
It all takes off from genes and neurones
From bullying, from abuse, from trauma
The stimuli within our surroundings
The life changes and transitions
That deep-rooted fear of being judged
That we find our thinking distorted
Then comes a relief through substitutions
To purge the grief fueling my compulsions
As adjusting beliefs requires intervention
The gradual exposure and habit reversal
The speeches, talks, and mindfulness
A lifestyle restoring my happiness
With autonomy, I assure you
Neither the terror, nor the storm
Not the nightmare, nor the harm
Neither the mania, nor the confusion
Ne'er insomnia, nor delusion
That'll ever leave us anxious