How do I explain

How do I explain That my emotions are painful That happiness is euphoria That anger is blinded rage That love borders obsession How do I explain That my emotions are my enemy That sadness is suicidal thoughts That pain is an agonizing fire that consumes me That emotions are a hurricane That merged with a tornado and tear away at my body from the inside out And eventually, reach the people around me How do I explain That my actions aren’t always under my control That the only thing I can feel Without wanting to break Is the pain of my own doing How do I explain That everyone leaves when I break Because if you’re in my vicinity And don’t head my warnings to leave me alone I lash out with hurtful words and actions That’ll hurt and break you down Only for me to regret them soon after And take it all out on myself How do I explain That being alone when I don’t want to be Turns into an intense battle A vicious war with myself To not break and lash out at the ones I love And to instead remember to stop and breathe To process reality rationally How do I explain That I can’t do things like everyone else That the simplest task Become a life or death situation That it makes me want to scream How do I explain That my mind is broken And I hope you don’t leave Because the monsters in me are terrible And I’m still learning to control them How do I explain That I fear the love I’m shown Even though I crave it That part of me trusts the people close to me And another part can’t believe a word they tell me Tell me how do I explain The mind that is ruled by different personalities That all feel the pain of a single disorder That’s so stigmatized by the world How do I explain Borderline Personality Disorder