Notes About The Poem

For Ink Empress's Dodoitsu contest

The Dodoitsu is a fixed folk song form of Japanese origin and is often about love or humor. It has 26 syllables made of of four lines of 7, 7, 7, 5 syllables respectively. It is unrhymed and non-metrical.

Borderline Personality Dodoitsu

We Are All the Same
Listen to the reeds as they sway apart;
Hear them speak of lost friends.
At birth, you were cut from your bed,
Crying and grasping in separation.
Everyone listens, knowing your song.
You yearn for others who know your name,
And the words to your lament.
We are all the same, all the same,
Longing to find our way back;
Back to the one, back to the only one.
Rumi


When songs are sung in tandem Ambience of speech is smooth Devoted eyes dote your voice Obsessed puppy love When words echo tender tones Glowing like sapphire gemstones Not veiled behind metaphors Tranquil tongue sounds calm As triggers summon demons Vivid verses turn vicious Rage screams like a million crows Heart shudders with fear Soul struggles to beat and breathe Pain feels like paper in rain Silence is your only guide Lonely sepulchre Eruptions begin to ease An anthem of angels chant Rainbows colour fading greys Lovebirds serenade
Copyright © | Year Posted 2023

Poem

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Legros Kelley Avatar
October 28, 2023 at 2:50 PM
This is incredible SO. If we could all just realize, we all are struggling with our emotions. Your amazing pen blows my mind, you write so well.
Poet Avatar
October 24, 2023 at 7:09 AM
What an enthralling and well-crafted Dodoitsu. You have done a wonderful job at conveying the roller coaster ride of emotions that characterizes borderline personality disorder. Your imagery is spot on, Congratulations on your top win.
Rodrigues Avatar
October 24, 2023 at 5:53 AM
Wow, Silent! A fave… When songs are sung in tandem…3rd verse is a powerhouse…lonely sepulchre…love the easing and the lovebirds serenade! Congratulations!
Sharma  Avatar
October 24, 2023 at 5:10 AM
Heartiest congratulations to you on the well deserved win, Silent One, this is truly an evocative take, amazingly crafted :)
Empress Avatar
October 24, 2023 at 2:49 AM
Ahh silent one! Thats actually one of my favourite songs! And this songs fits the poem theme that you’ve gone for BPD! Cus it is about bpd, the song! And you kno very well how much i would be in awe of this dodoitsu and how creative of you to name it bp-dodoitsu! You have a very innovative mind! I love how you’ve shown the phases of a bpd relations, from obsession/puppy love, and beauty of the moment and expression to triggers and silence to again serenading as love birds! How clever! Being in
Empress Avatar
October 24, 2023 at 2:53 AM
A relationship with someone who has bpd can be very challenging for all the reasons and more that you’ve described here vividly and concisely in a very poetic manner! Whilst ensuring your syllables are intact! I really love the alliterations and your choice of word and how you’ve paired them and articulated your verses! My fave is the third part and last as well as “ pain feels like paper in rain” “ silence..” lonely sepulchre” that fight or flight moment, splitting so well delivered! I can praise all day! So let me fave this and say! CONGRATULATIONS on winning! Thank u for writing
Edmonds  Avatar
October 22, 2023 at 5:59 PM
A wonderful Dodoitsu Silent One, every line’s captivating … Belle
Williams Avatar
October 21, 2023 at 9:24 PM
I'm unfamiliar with this form, and I should be, I certainly have enough Japanese friends around. Lol. However brilliant as always. Hugs
Williams Avatar
October 21, 2023 at 9:24 PM
I love the song choice.
Baker Avatar
October 21, 2023 at 4:48 PM
I FAVed this one, Silent One. Thank you for sharing your poetry with us.
Baker Avatar
October 21, 2023 at 4:46 PM
Your voice fits this form well, my friend. The intro video and song set the tone and your poetry brought it home. I long to write as you do, Silent One. To let my passion and deep sense of longing and fulfillment to flow through my poetry as yours does. You are very gifted, Silent One. The lines and verses flow smoothly as we process each new emotion you share with us. Your Rumi quotes are also well selected and a great enhancement to your poetic expression. I have several Rumi books.
Blown Avatar
October 21, 2023 at 2:42 PM
...wowza.....your write be an inspire-ring of words.....stan
Buehler Avatar
October 21, 2023 at 1:33 PM
Beautiful, engrossing verses, Silent One! An awesome contest contender. Good luck. :)
Ray Choudhury Avatar
October 21, 2023 at 10:31 AM
Wow! Exquisite Dodoitsu! For Ink’s contest, I wrote only one stanza - I thought that was the expectation! Then I wanted to try this form for Constance - and chose the theme “Journal”. Thanks for stopping by…love to read your poems…get inspired!
Pandit Avatar
October 21, 2023 at 5:53 AM
As triggers summon demons Vivid verses turn vicious Rage screams like a million crows Heart shudders with fear---Soul struggles to beat and breathe--Perfectly described, SO. Your poem gives voice and meaning to those suffering. Splendidly emotive, write. Your Rumi quote aptly to the point.
Messina Avatar
October 21, 2023 at 3:39 AM
Awesome, S1. "Rage screams like a million crows" Love that line! BOL in the contest.
Sharma  Avatar
October 21, 2023 at 2:16 AM
This is an outstanding poem for the dodoitsu contest! I especially am awestruck how precisely you've showed the dimension for a person suffering with BPD & the way emotions transitioned here from the 3rd dodoitsu, woah, it feels like a rollercoaster.. Everyone soothing and tranquil suddenly transforms to ravenous sounds of ache and anxiety owing to the demonic triggers. Your wordplay is absolutely amazing here, so impactful.. Love the word-choices.. And alliterations make this flow very well..
Sharma  Avatar
October 21, 2023 at 2:19 AM
"Soul struggles to beat and breathe","Pain feels like paper in rain", "An anthem of angels chant", " Rainbows colour fading greys", "Rage screams like a million crows" So brilliantly phrased, very poignant.. "Heart shudders with fear" Ah, one can actually feel that pain..so many impeccable lines here. Absolutely loved reading this as always, a fav for me.. Somehow, resonated deeply too.
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