Silent One Poet Rhyme

Notes About The Poem

This poem is about being in a relationship with someone who has Borderline Personality Disorder.  BPD is a personality disorder that is characterised by a pattern of emotional instability and unstable relationships with other people. It affects a person’s thoughts, emotions, self-image and behaviour. This poem is written from the perspective of someone who suffers from this condition. I do not have BPD. It is important to note that people are affected differently with BPD.

Borderline Love

It's difficult, but please try to understand,
my behaviour is something I cannot command.
At first I'll be serene like a sweet daydream,
but then unstable and intensely extreme.

Enter at your own risk, but be aware,
loving me can turn into a nightmare.
I'm like a grenade, don't pull my trigger,
I'll explode your mind with raging rigor.

My infatuation is like poetic idealisation,
but feeling unloved leads to devaluation.
The first hint of believing you're quitting,
will result in my psyche automatically splitting.

When I begin to feel like I'm not good enough,
I'll try to push you away and call your bluff.
You may label my actions as pathetic dumbness,
but this is me feeling empty with numbness, 
so I make no apologies for the ghosting silence,
when my demons set restrictions like sly tyrants.
I try to block out regular paranoid suspicions,
so don't think I'm petty when setting conditions,
but with abandonment issues, I struggle to trust.
Please be sensitive as being patient is a must.

Be warned, my moods are regularly inconsistent.
My double standards may make you feel distant.
I need constant reassurance that you are only mine,
because insecurities make my sanity decline.

I don't want you to suffer like lovers who came before.
When I want to leave, don't let me run out of the door.
I just want to be loved with all my flaws accepted,
instead of being rejected, lonely and neglected.
Treat me gently and my self doubt will settle,
love me sincerely and I'll bloom like a precious petal.

Silent One
28 September 2021

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Bells Goffar September 27, 2024 at 8:17 AM I read this and it hit really close to home in my heart and soul. I've been dealing with this exact same stuff for so long and always thought I just wasn't meant to be in a relationship ever but now I have found out about BPD and more information about it and with my current relationship, it definitely helps and makes a difference when you actually are able to sort of understand the paterns you follow and that kind of stuff, any who though this was so beautiful.

Timothy Ray May 21, 2022 at 12:27 PM one of my callings was to counsel psychiatric disorder/substance use and am well aware of BPD, one of the most difficult to help. your lines are true to the disorder, line by line the portrait is a perfect limn....excellent execution, masterful

Lisa Ricci February 15, 2022 at 2:03 PM Dear Silent - Wow and Wow again. You wrote with understanding knowledge compassion. Your words and message is written with grace and elegance. Yes, this condition is real for all those who endure this state of mind. It is difficult for both parties. Thank you for sharing your knowledge and talent. May this day find you well and safe.

James Inman February 9, 2022 at 5:24 PM Hi SO, I hadn't seen this one before. It is a very intriguing write. When one doubts there own self worth and believes they are incapable of being loved, they themselves, often create their own self fulling prophecy. It is difficult to love someone when that person is constantly pushing you away with their doubts and misgivings. It is truly heart breaking for both partners.

Cecilia Macfarlane February 3, 2022 at 3:55 PM Excellent write. I believe I have encountered this before, it's hard mentally for all persons involved. Excellent write! Hugs

Valerie Staton January 30, 2022 at 5:35 AM You are so masterful in your writing. I always walk away with a WOW! You should write a book if you have not already done so. Take care!

Jeannie Cronin January 8, 2022 at 9:44 AM Mental health is easily the most disregarded affliction of human health and well being in the USA. The price of this stupidity is insanely high while holding no value but to distant future generations, we can only hope. Thanks for shining some light on this SO, nicely done.

Paula Goldsmith November 5, 2021 at 12:22 PM What a story/write. Never heard of BPD. I have know many moody/emotional people. Maybe this was their problem. Have a blessed day........................

Jennifer Proxenos October 16, 2021 at 12:31 PM Oh my Goodness SO, what a poetic gem - I am so happy to know you are around. Although this is a condition, certain aspects of it I am sure a lot of us feel sometimes - another remarkable poem from your so talented self. Hugs and blessings my friend, Jennifer.

Freddie Robinson Jr. October 15, 2021 at 11:55 AM You delved deep inside of BPD, SO. A harrowing journey thru pendulum mood discovery. Elegant ink drops as quill usual, my dear friend. Love and more love always.

Beryl Edmonds October 13, 2021 at 9:32 AM An excellent write Silent One, those last two lines especially, I personally have done that for years, loving kindness can avoid many tears… all the best… Belle

Bj Legros Kelley October 1, 2021 at 10:00 AM This is so deeply intuitive. A look into a heart and soul of someone so hurt that it is hard to believe that love is truly for them. It takes a special love to nurture a broken soul. Another masterpiece Silent One.

Anitha Jayasankar September 30, 2021 at 3:08 AM Just got some Soup time and saw that you posted a new poem... I never knew of such a disorder... Your poem raises an awareness of such a condition and will surely help those who read it to understand the behavior of such people affected with BPD better if they come across such people in their lives... Thanks for sharing S1... God bless... ~ Ani

Kim Rodrigues September 29, 2021 at 7:00 PM Takes someone special to love. We can’t put people out of sight but love them with their wrinkles. Great research into BPD.

Paulette Calasibetta September 29, 2021 at 3:40 PM You have beautifully captured the plight of what it is to live with BPD disorders.... Take Care, Paulette

Regina Mcintosh September 29, 2021 at 5:30 AM Lovely writing.. So sad and so true. Mental illness is all too real. I have bipolar disorder so can certainly relate. God bless you for your understanding and caring. Love to you, Gina

Joanna Daniel September 28, 2021 at 11:14 PM Yeah, they need love too, great write, SO:) these lines are great - "I just want to be loved with all my flaws accepted, instead of being rejected, lonely and neglected."

Evelyn Judy Buehler September 28, 2021 at 4:09 PM Understanding BPD is a huge step towards treating people who are afflicted with the patience and love they deserve. Your wonderful poem certainly sheds light on this condition. Blessings, Evelyn

White Wolf September 28, 2021 at 3:03 PM This strikes home to me! Even though I have bipolar disorder, there are so many similarities! Thank you so much for sharing this

Mystic Rose Rose September 28, 2021 at 2:59 PM Ah, there is only one way to truly love and that is sincerely, anything else is just watered down affection, Your words hit home, you are love Silent One, never doubt that, thank you for saying Hello, it means so much to me, :)

Alexis Y. September 28, 2021 at 1:36 PM WoW! Silent, This is such an important and revalant piece on BPD personality. Folk are so quick to judge others when they have no clue what the other is going through. I know it must be hard for a person with personality disorder to be in a relationship, period, let a an intimate one.Thanks for sharing such a write-Alexis

Anne-Lise Andresen September 28, 2021 at 11:34 AM - Not "just a poem", S.O. ... but an important poem ... I want to emphasize this line: "I just want to be loved with all my flaws accepted" ... thank you very much :) - hugs // Anne-Lise :)

Rico Leffanta September 28, 2021 at 11:31 AM Loving people is much easier than living with them!

Mike Gentile September 28, 2021 at 4:12 AM So many suffer with misunderstood and undiagnosed issues Silent One! Many are simply dismissed and cast away, Perhaps your enlightening words will enable someone's patience and ability to love!!

Tom Cunningham September 28, 2021 at 4:03 AM It's so easy to judge others not knowing what they are going through but no one knows what is going on inside a person's head, it's not like they can wear a bandage. Well done SO for highlighting this condition and I admit I hadn't heard of it until now. Tom