Best At My Wits End Poems
Tinnitus tinnitus, innocuous by name,
invisible tasteless, sounds pretty lame,
Ears hissing, snakes inside my head,
Growing louder, causing turmoil in bed,
Room’s spinning, feel like getting sick,
Banging kicks off, rhythmically quick.
Tinnitus tinnitus, pneumatic drillers,
incessant maniacal machine gun killers,
Thumping smashing, trash metal band,
Like rock music, but this I cannot stand,
Eyes are bloodshot, severe lack of sleep,
cacophonous noise, then marching feet.
Tinnitus tinnitus, chainsaws a cutting,
No trees or lumberjacks, I see nothing,
Put on the radio, try drown out noise,
overwhelmed, lose rationale and poise,
Church bells peeling, ringing perhaps,
overloaded, mind spirals into collapse.
Tinnitus tinnitus, curse this living hell,
hammering my face, eyes begin to swell,
Delirious sweating, sheets soaking wet,
overcome in confusion, desperate upset,
Pray to god make the torment go away
release me from this Kafkaesque array.
Tinnitus tinnitus, eardrums explode,
Brain is shattered, as decibels grow,
Can’t take anymore, at my wits end,
On slugs of whiskey, sanity depends,
One after the other, knock them back,
Throbbing numbing starting to relax.
Tinnitus tinnitus, drink myself unconscious,
Wake up next day, agonizingly nauseous,
My ear is on the pillow, bottle’s in pieces,
covered with blood, trembling increases,
Look in the mirror, No no this cannot be,
Vincent Van Gough’s, staring back at me.
By
David Kavanagh
Cried out in pain, needed to heal,
Nothing from God did I feel.
Demobbed from the army,
In a terrible state,
Dumped in civvy street,
Where I had no mates.
Heart as cold as bayonet steel,
Me, Love God? Get real.
I hated my life, wanted it to end,
No one there on whom I could depend.
Never did drugs, except to ease the pain,
Got drunk, slept where I dropped,
Woke in a daze until a pill I popped,
The pills I took were heroin based,
On a good day the pain was erased.
Sometimes it just would not go away,
One pill a day, the doctor would say,
But it took four or more to make it stop.
Then four more at night I would pop.
Life in the "street" was hard for me,
Most of my life I had an army family.
Now alone, abandoned by my peers,
Filled me with dread and nightly fears.
Couldn't hold a job when the pain was bad,
Waited for my giro, the only money I had.
Had to go home like the prodigal son,
Living there, I assure, was no fun.
Cried into the night for pain relief,
God still not there was my belief.
Then out of the blue when at my wits end,
My Fran turned up, I had a friend.
She couldn't help me to get well,
But she rescued me from my living hell.
It took her years to bring me back,
Even now sometimes I feel under attack.
She gave me the hope that I'd been denied
She nursed my penniless hulk when I cried.
The surgeon worked his skill on me one day,
Whatever he did made the pain go away
It took many years for my heart to see,
That God had always been there for me.
He heard my cry when I was at my worst,
That was the time when I felt I was cursed.
He sent my Fran and the surgeon too,
Using both of them He pulled me through.
Nearly 50 years have now gone by,
I'll always be His even after I die.
© Dave Timperley 22/10/2019
Winter nights, the darkness comes quick
Key in door, to an empty house
Jacket falls fast right on the floor
I stare at the stand, at the telephone for sure
There she sits, alone, unmoving
No blinking light
No message at all
From a lovers voice or even a call from the mall
The ritual is the same, night after night
I pick up the phone, yes dial tone is there
I check the wires, all attached with great care
Its not broken, same as this morning
I confess, yes I stare at the phone over there
The phone is a functioning, I am assured
I call the weather line, yes a test but I was bored
They tell me is all sunny up over yonder
So no one calls me, of this I must ponder
I confess yes I stare, at the dark phone sitting there
Maybe the answering system parts are malfunctioning
Maybe she really did some exotic oh calling
Oh what I am saying, she’s out to the ball
While I look at telephone, alone in the hall
I confess yes I stare, I stare and stare
So another night, outside shines the bright city lights
I open the door to the darkness in fright
For oh my god, I see a blinking light
My heart beats in excitement, this is surely the night
I stare at a ringing telephone
Oh my what a delight!!!!!!!!
Click
Wrong number
Now I am distressed, depressed, redressed
I am at my wits end I must confess
Another evening I sit here alone
Just me and my silent old black phone
I stare a that contraption then the abscess of the night
Like all of the nights in 2014
I will sleep in a bed, with no hug or ice-cream
The pleasures of life, belong not to me
Me and my phone will never be set free
So now it’s New Years Eve, party hat and good cheer
I sit alone with my phone, to ring in the New Year
Oh the irony yes I did see
For the phone is as silent as the heart inside me
I stare at the past; I stare at the wall
Where I contemplate tossing the phone, cord and all
Then it rings, and shocks me out of my trance
2015 has arrived with a telephone call!!!!! so happy I dance!!!!
Cause this time she called, god bless romance
Happy New Year
Santa, I do confess
I feel a little bit strange
A middle aged man sitting on your knee
Whispering into your ear, my grandest wish
Let us both hope people do not get the wrong idea here
I am at my wits end Dear Santa
All I want for Christmas
Is for her to call me
So that I may here her voice
Like a musical saga
A symphony of Celtic dreams
The honey that flows deep into my heart
The sweetness that grows in my soul
Am I demanding too much?
Of this earthly world
That I, demand heavenly wishes
That I dream in colors unreal
That I cry for things that seem the impossible
The North Pole and all its promise
Dream
Oh but I must dream, dream or die
No more dreams
Is death for sure
Let me not be murdered
By a phone that rings not
ps
Dear Santa
I am disappointed, no poetry memberships, no phone calls in the night from lovers
No mistletoe even in me dreams, Gaelic winds blow cold over me heart
Id ask for a train set, but the way things are going you’d give me a train wreck
Bloody hell on you Santa, you must be busy helping nice people, cheers anyways
Rolling through a bloody mess,
my master died alone no less.
His mercy was indeed a lie,
he said I lived but now will die.
His hand was swift with a mighty stroke,
within a thought my life was broke.
Oh how I lived, and he knew not,
but now I lay...my life to rot.
No foot, nor hand could move a limb,
Three days old and no sign of him.
And then he came at my wits end,
With strength alone I cant defend.
He lift me up and broke my jaw,
Just to laugh as I hit the floor.
He took a blade and made a fist,
stabbed his flesh, his vein, his wrist.
Now you're dead and now you're mine,
drink from me and you'll be fine.
I could not stand my masters site,
I killed him quick with my own bite.
She’s doing my head in; I'm at my wits end
I reckon she’s losing the plot
Her tempers are fierce and her moods have no trend
And I’m struggling to deal with the way that she’s got
She gives me no warning of what is in store
And erupts at the drop of a hat
I’ve stopped trying to find out what is wrong anymore
Why she finds fault in this and in that
My once gentle darling is now snapping and snarling
And all that I do is still wrong
Being caring and loving, reassuring and giving
Brings even more spite from her tongue
This female behaviour that causes such stress
(That in men would be labelled ‘Quite Mad’)
Has no rhyming or reason but when it’s in season
PMT wears us blokes down a tad
Who else would she pick on to let it all out?
When the needle goes into the Red
Well I’ve had enough; I’m not taking her ‘Stuff’!
So I’ve gone ‘til she sorts out her Head.
I saw a man holding up a sign,
It read, please help me I have'nt got a dime.
I stopped to talk to him as he stood on the street.
he said please help me I have nothing to eat.
My heart felt heavy as I saw him cry,
I had to help him out and not pass him by.
His eyes were sunk in, his skin so pale,
a pathetic image of a body so frail.
His clothes were worn and tattered,
to help this man was all that mattered.
I asked him if he had any family to speak of,
he replied, "no mam" I have knowone left and knowone to love.
Again my heart went out to this man,
when all he needed was a helping hand.
So many people had passed him by,
and I had to ask myself why let him die.
He said please won't you help me I'm at my wits end,
so I told him I'd help him and be his new friend.
He said I'm just a homeless vet another man on the street,
there's more out there like me fellow soilders I meet.
I thanked this man for his bravery so true,
as my admiration for him so fondly grew.
I took him in and gave him a home,
greatful I was for the brave service he'd shone.
When I was young and hearty,
I once sowed a measly seed,
And saw with awe
the paltry seed grow into
a beautiful flowering tree
permeating all around
sweet fragrance
pleasing to the soul.
I likewise sowed
a shiny silver dollar,
And with bated breath
waited to see if it grows
into my dream tree:
A tree with branches of solid silver
and sparkling silver leaves,
It will bear fruits of shiny
gold and silver coins and
make all my dreams
to come true!
With glitters in my eyes,
And overbearing anticipation,
I guarded it day and night,
Nurturing it with my
dreams and aspirations.
But days turned into years
And still I did not see
even a seedling spring forth.
Now old and at my wits' end,
I dug up the coin and held it
in my trembling hand;
"Can I have that, Grandpa?"
The boy asked as he whisked
the coin off my palm.
I stared dumbfounded at him
as he ran to a roadside vendor
and bought an ice cream!
~Abdul Malik
When you see me cry don't be afraid
Sometimes dads emotions overflow
I know you wonder what's going on
There are things we don't want you to know
Perhaps we're wrong to insulate you
As parents we try to do what's right
We wish for you only sunny skies
That's why we try to bathe you in light
The fact that you care it warms my heart
I will tell you what you wish to know
Today you've grown up you are a man
That's a process I don't wish to slow
Sometimes life it can throw us a curve
I lost my job a few days ago
So now I wonder what will I do
I am at my wits end I don't know
Please come to me I can use a hug
It will help me to feel it's okay
In the end I put my faith in God
With his help things will turn out okay
For F.J. Thomas's "To Heal a Heart" contest
Oops I went over by four lines so I know
I'll be disqualified. I still wanted you to read
the poem you inspired.
they've been moments in life when you've felt that you were at your wits end
be it spiritually, financially or physically be it in a relationship with family or friends
tired of whenever you've been blessed the enemy attempts to knock you down
ready to throw in the towel and just fall to the ground
but if you're a disciple of Christ you will come to comprehend
that God will get you through anything from beginning to end
so before you turn to Oprah, Dr. Oz or even Dr. Phil
have a little talk with the Lord God and then just sit still
He might not get there when you want Him but God is always right on time
and He's aware of everything you're going through that's why He's called divine
omnipotent, omnipresent and all knowing with His infinite power
God knows what's happening at any given hour
so are you at your wits end? can you see no way out?
it's time to put your trust in God for in Him there's never any doubt
God knows more about us than we will ever know about ourselves
His knowledge is so infinite and full spiritual wealth
for it was He who created us and it was He who gave us the breath of life
He also gave us the gift that lifted us and freed us from sin with the blood sacrifice
so are you at your wits end? what thoughts are running through your mind?
do you realize that God knows what you're thinking at any given time?
He knows what you will say before the words fall from your lips
He knows what you will do before you do it as it was He who wrote the script
so there's no need to be at your wits end if you're a child of Christ
remember God is watching over you every minute of your life
I once had a plane reservation for 8 o'clock at night
but the lady behind the ticket counter decided to change my flight
I asked her why did she do this? and she said "Reverend you need to comprehend"
that 8pm flight had a 2 hour layover
and the 9pm flight will serve you better in the end
not only did I arrive earlier but she had upgraded me to first class too
I have come to realize that God has a master plan that might better suit you
so no longer am I at my wits end as I've place myself in God's hands
living to praise, living to rejoice by waiting and abiding by His plans
the clock speeding away every tock is a slap in the face
1am and then 2am and yet your nowhere to be seen
worry eats at me like a moth to a cloth and anger is deep with in
the fire of it just waiting to bust with out
yet its my fault tis the truth my failures haunt me like a revenging ghost
nowhere to hide and nothing else to do but face reality that i had went down the wrong
road
dread is my friend and together we wait out till the end
sun barely shines when you walk in
tears and frustrate are at my wits end
you reek of poison that you can not control when you drink it
never in my life had i wanted to harm you intill this final moment
your breaking my heart cant you see
but the poison clouds your vision and the wall is up and
all i hear as i walk away is your sicken laughter and maybe
if i listen close enough i might hear " i am sorry mom"
i close my tired eyes and i bandage my damage heart
i drift away intill another day
From inside myself I feel in humility
That wondrous sense of awe within my mind,
A special transcendence into tranquillity.
My memories rise to the surface to remind,
I’ve lost reality in the silence.
Travel through recollections of the past to find
My childhood, that distant, sweet time of innocence
Never alone, imagination led
Me to fantasy lands where truth made no sense.
I did not have to dream tucked snugly in a bed,
I could journey anywhere in the world
Solitude, for me, never has held any dread
For I was happiest when I sat small and curled
Safe, while in my head adventures swirled.
Years later, solitude became a welcome friend,
As children clamoured hungry for their tea.
Mind frazzled by the day, I’d stand at my wits end
Then find a solution, distract them with TV.
Find solace in the kitchen, meal in pan,
Stare out at the garden with eyes that did not see.
Drift away to the whirring of extractor fan,
Not see jumbled toys piled beside the shed.
There was no direction for wilful my mind ran
Until a noise reminded me, kids to be fed,
Interrupted dreaming, no time to brood;
Children’s teas, husband’s dinner, bath then up to bed.
Oh what luxury the chance of solitude
Snatched moments in busy days, a short interlude.
Now solitude stretches from morning until night,
And in early hours of creeping morning
In the peace of darkness I like best to write.
Inspiration often comes as day is dawning
Shining brightly, golden as the sky,
The birth of a new day often ideas spawning.
Now I can be alone I do not have to try
Sitting in a crowded room, walking in a field,
I’ve learned to view with outer and inner eye.
Solitude, that place to chaos never yields
For it is the essence of blissful life,
Often I find that my sanity it shields.
It keeps me safe from all the daily strife,
And brings to me peace of mind when evil runs rife.
How does someone do that
just pretend to care
mess with someones mind
then just disappear
Just stay away unless
well unless you really care
stop messing with me please
I could never hurt someone
never like that
messing with the mind
that is criminal with intent
don't you feel guilty or
do you feel nothing at all
I am at my wits end
knowhere to turn
not a soul to hold
So just go away
leave me alone
I don't need more confusion
go to hell
find someone else
to make them feel alone
Your a son of a.....
I Had Nowhere to Go… But God!
Lost and lonely, I was often bewildered.
There were life’s problems I shouldered.
I was empty inside and at my “wits end.”
There was no one around when I needed a friend.
I thought about “ending it all.” I had nowhere to go.
Life was rather unpleasant, boring and DULL!
I was living for each moment and what pleased me.
The people nearby made fun of and teased me.
Then one night, I cried to God in my desperation.
I decided to call out to him and give an invitation!
I give an invitation for him to please help me.
Would he come? No one could tell me!
As I prayed, a gentle peace entered my mind.
I knew this was God and this was my time!
A time to be forgiven of a life “messed up.”
A time for God’s love to completely fill me up!
As I felt his love and hope all around me…
This God I didn’t know, came and found me!
I’m so thankful for him and his loving care.
I don’t know what I’d do if he wasn’t there!
I invite you to accept this God that I received.
Won’t you put your faith in him, and believe?
This wonderful God changed me from within!
He’s me precious Lord, savior and friend!
By Jim Pemberton 01/30/15
I feel so hurt
And so much like a jerk
For I have lost my dream
Just let it out and scream
What did I do
Can I ask you
Am I to be alone
All I can do is groan
I ask God will it ever be
Does she really want me
Please Lord let her call
For me to be that is all
I am so stuck in a rut
Do I just give up
Can not hold back the tears
The return of all my fears
I hope to see
That she really needs me
I will never know
For she will have to show
Can you give me my best friend
Or have I lost her again
Tell me did I sin
Should I just give in
I am at my wits end
Knowing not where to begin
I sit here and moan
At me just throw the heavy stone
Please, oh please hit the mark
Then I know it will break my heart
I always feel the use
Finally I remember the abuse
My feelings inside
Will never subside
Why not go ahead and fall
With my life just end it all
Does anyone really care
That would be so rare
For all I feel is lost
And in the end that is the cost