Best Sonme Poems
I first met him in July, seventeen years later
I was shocked to see how much he looked like his maternal uncle
So nothing like me except, maybe, the eyes...yeah, the eyes
"Hi, Alex, I'm Jim." We shook hands and I pulled him into an "ambush" hug
"You can blame your aunt for this", I whispered in his ear
"She made me PROMISE that I would" I said out loud
We jabbered like two magpies the 60 miles home
I started to realize we had many of the sames tastes AND views
We had never known each other; I was never involved in his development
His mom and stepfather were my polar opposites in every aspect
Somehow, two divergent paths had met in the middle to find so much common ground
I started to realize my absence hadn't done as much damage as I had thought
He was cool about it... he put me at ease... he was already a man!
He met the rest of my crazy clan over the next 12 days and survived them all
He seemed, to me, like he had found some sort of missing link in his life
Like some puzzle piece had been put right
He vowed to return permanently after graduation, and he really means it
He also vowed to have his first name legally changed to "Link" upon turning 18
A truer Zelda fan I've not met
I am still trying to get used to it, but I support it 100%
We chat at least weekly via the internet, making small talk here and there
It fills some of the void, but it's not enough.......
And I find myself......
Missing Link..............
*THIS IS MY TRUE STORY OF ME AND MY SON*
Pride swelled watching
stumbling first steps
tentative footfall led
to running carpet manuvers
Growing ever faster
Little imaginary world
He wants me to join the fun
returning pretend laser fire
I twitch on the ground
direct hit! He giggles and runs for cover
Always shying hearing Grownups
'Gosh you look like Dad'!
Walking away he looks to me and smiles
Cons me into icecream
asking why the sun goes away at night
I began to panic, but it was gone just as quick as it began.
I listend to there mumbo jumbo, while inside there words made me laugh,
the irony that i needed these people to do nothing more,
then repeat what I had just spent four days reading before.
I remember feeling anger, these people where talking about my child!
!
When they where done, they shook our hands,
telling us both it would be ok,
Did they expect me to believe them?
The ride home was better, then what had been worse just hours before,
I could tell we both needed to cry, and not that I could see,
if she did, because all I could do was stair into nothing.
I know I was being selfish not telling her we would get through this,
I guess because I needed someone to tell me,
but neither of us spoke the words.
And again I wonderd why I couldnt cry.
The night passed on, most of which I cant remember,
about two a.m. everyone was in bed,
I grabbed the envelope that they had given us,
it was so heavy from the papers,
how could this be when hes only three?
I rolled my joint, and ran some water,
wishing that man had something simular,
like the girly stuff calgon take me away.
I lit my joint and started to read,
and not long before I realized,
that everything they are saying that makes you autistic,
is everything I love most about you.
And finely I cryed, I just couldnt stop,
tho im sure I didnt want to,
so into this emotion I gave in.
I cryed and cryed, for two hours
I just .....let go,
all by myself inside that tub.
And in a calming way, I felt older
and strangly healed, my perspective had changed.
for the first time I believed it was going to be ok.
Simply just by being proud, that my son is autistic,
gave me a strength i never knew I had.
And again I wonderd if Kim had felt this way,
and I realized what I had lost.
And I had to ask,
Is this what it means to grow up?
Form:
the clock speeding away every tock is a slap in the face
1am and then 2am and yet your nowhere to be seen
worry eats at me like a moth to a cloth and anger is deep with in
the fire of it just waiting to bust with out
yet its my fault tis the truth my failures haunt me like a revenging ghost
nowhere to hide and nothing else to do but face reality that i had went down the wrong
road
dread is my friend and together we wait out till the end
sun barely shines when you walk in
tears and frustrate are at my wits end
you reek of poison that you can not control when you drink it
never in my life had i wanted to harm you intill this final moment
your breaking my heart cant you see
but the poison clouds your vision and the wall is up and
all i hear as i walk away is your sicken laughter and maybe
if i listen close enough i might hear " i am sorry mom"
i close my tired eyes and i bandage my damage heart
i drift away intill another day
Hey dad, I met a big head today
Always boasting of sports, hey come see me play
Anything I wanted, he had one at home
From a mountain bike to a mobile phone
Hey son, these guys are all ten a penny
Manners they have not, whilst my boy you have many
They buy their friends and their allegiance is none
Your life has started, his has barely begun
Hey dad, he waffles in class, about this about that
Even being rude to the teacher, creating a spat
Where we try to learn and get on with our work
Constant interruption by this incompetent jerk
Hey son, one of these days his fingers will get burnt
And all in your class, will have forgotten more than he's learnt
As you get older, you will become wise to your surrounds
And I doubt very much, this big head will be around
Hey dad, I can always rely on you
To give me guidance and help see me through
Absorbing knowledge will be my life's learning curve
And this incompetent jerk, will get his just deserves
All you want in this life
Is for me to do my best
And to be able to drink to ‘The World’s Best Son’
Before you are later laid to rest
But it is hard most times for me to
Do exactly as you dream
Though it does not mean I do not care
Nor play for the opposite team
You have shown me things in life
That I thought were so benign
When in reality it was truly real
And trouble could have been mine
Arguments lost and arguments won
About the most personal things
When you were only giving strong advice
I thought of it as in a boxing ring
You are the closest friend I have
And just between us, father and son
I love you and will never falter
Note: This is not my kids. This is dedicated to a......friend
Now my children time has come for me to talk to you.
I've let you make your choices in what you wear and do.
But this has gone way to far and way to fast.
So let me touch on some points that had better not last.
Daughter, with multi rings on your fingers and 2 on your toes.
I know sooner or later they'll be one through your nose.
Then do you know what will happen next time you sneeze?
You'll be shootin' big 'ol snot globs out that hole at me.
That tattoo that you've got on your big left breast
You think it's sexy now, but let me tell you what to expect.
Right now it's up there sitting pretty as you can see.
But when you reach the age of 60, where do you think it will be?
Son that tongue stud that your sporting doesn't look to sweet.
I'm waiting for you to swallow it, the next time you eat.
You swear it is in there tightly and you have no fear.
But when you tried to demonstrate you choked on it my dear.
Daughter, that eyebrow bar is just the ugliest thing you've done.
It looks like you had an accident with a pneumatic staple gun.
Oh!, and lets not forget that sexy belly button ring.
When you get old and forgetful, you can hang you keys from that thing.
Son? Just what were you thinking when you picked out your new tat?
Homer Simpson eating a donut? Couldn't you find something other than that?
And to have it proudly spread out on your behind
says you'll never have a girlfriend, unless she is blind.
Then there is the subject of the ear plugs in your lobes.
Just how big do you intend to let those puppies go?
They're going to hang down like some ear handle
Folks will think I dropped you twice. Oh god, They're going to dangle.
Daughter those clothes your wearing don't make you a looker.
I won't pay the bail when you are mistaken for a hooker.
Son, you'd better be pullin' up your pants, you hear?
No one wants to see you walk like you've a load in there.
Last and certainly not the least, your choice of hair salons.
I never thought I'd see the day my daughter and my son
Both with rainbow spiked hair, it all just says so much
It says "Please don't hire me because I'm a big butt munch
Drums for Benji
to fall in love with a child as if he were your son
is the greatest thing
felt like a marathon i had just run
sight for sore eyes
melted like a Hersheys Kiss
where has he been all my life
when we met... his life i beg God please don't make me miss
Benjamin Where you Bean.. i love him so so much
he makes me want to beat on drums loud something unique
something saying clear the way
Drums for Benji
each time i see him whether at night or day
I love this boy beyond any words can dare to explain
it was fate that we met...
the day is memorable.. the date i seem to forget
for the reason why was it was perfected bliss
one moment of his charm i didn't want to risk
in love with the lady who brought him in the world
she is misunderstood by all...
but to me she is my woman... my girl
Drums for Benji the lil man in my life
Hands…
My father’s hands are very twisted
They’re strong and built with lots of muscles
They’ve helped me learn
So many things as I have grown
In my life
They have helped me learn
How to ride a bike
They’ve helped me defend myself when needed
And I have come to realize
That without his hands to guide me
Through this world
I would not make it
NOTE*** This is from my CD A Father’s Love Letters
To listen to the CD please visit
http://www.reverbnation.com/#/mikehamill
This was written by my daughter when she was nine.
One of the many reasons it’s great to be a parent :)
I lay my head down on my pillows, I’m fussy, I have four just for comfort,
Three hours later and it’s four o’clock, again I’m unable to sleep,
I look at my partner and see her in slumber so sweet,
Then I have an idea.
I stare at her and smile for I never noticed the way her eyes twitch,
I’m intrigued to know more about this creature of utmost beauty and perfection,
So I listen to her dreams, she mumbles the name of another man,
But I don’t worry for I know of this man, it’s a name we have discussed
In previous times, the name I would give to my Son if ever I am blessed
With such a gift, But this also brings great sadness to me as well for I know
That this is a gift she is not able to bless me with.
I watch as the tears role down her face, I hold her in my embrace,
Then as I lick the tears from her cheeks, I softly kiss her eyes,
As she smiles a smile of Angels she reaches out and holds me tight,
I feel her warm breath on my neck and as she breaths heavily in my ear
I feel the chills run down my spine and again I watch her sleep.
She’s running, not from but to, to what I do not know, I slip into the
Image of her mind and I find peace and pain, I want to help, to tell her how much
I love her but all I can do is watch for interference is not an option,
I see her scream and cry as she witnesses the death and loss of a person
Who she holds dearer in her heart than even myself, and with great reason,
I cry as I watch her struggle through life with the absents of love,
And as I see the use and abuse she has suffered, I fall to my knees and think,
After all of this how can I possibly make a difference in her life now?
And I cry streams of endless tears.
I watch her as she opens her eyes, she knows not of what has a been saw this night,
I try to talk as I wipe the tears from my eyes, to say words, to comfort her in some way,
She looks towards me and asks the reason for my tears, I tell her not for she has already
Endured pain this night, I tell her I had a bad dream, then she gives me a hug,
Gently kisses me on the lips an says with the voice of an Angel,
“I love you”.
Memories on the pages of our book are forever inspiring.
Overwhelmed is how I feel at times because I love you so.
Together our bond is eternal.
Happiness is ours for keeps so long as we have each other.
Endearing words you say to me and others makes me proud.
Raising you is a joy.
Holding onto you is unconditional because of our love.
Old photographs make me smile as each milestone is replayed.
Others see the love we have and their support is forever there.
Digging deep is sometimes what we do, but always know that I love you.
You're not here today.
You won't be here tomorrow.
Life as it was,
Is now poisoned with sorrow.
Gone so young,
Never had a chance.
All i have to remember,
Is the look on your innocient face,
At my last glance.
Why my child, why them?
It just doesn't seem fair.
I wish i could open my eyes,
And see him still standing there.
Seconds, minutes, hours, they slowly pass by.
I'm becoming so empty inside, so little tears left to cry.
Now when i call you for dinner,
You won't come, you never will.
And when i tell you to pick up your room,
You won't, it's impossible.
Hugs and laughs all out the door.
This loneliness inside, is too hard for me too ignore.
You can no longer tell me "I love you." or give me a kiss.
You had so much to live for.
You didn't deserve to die like this.
My child, my love, everything that i lived for,
Disapeared so fast, never suffered a loss like this before.
Tears fall from heaven, i know you see.
You're still the angel in my heart, and i know you're looking down upon me.
And i know you're telling me, "Mom stop crying, i love you, but it's just too late,
But i'm still safe mom, don't worry, I'm protected behind gods gate."
*I wrote this poem in dedication for a teenage boy who was shot in my school. Him and his friend were simply playing with a real gun, unaware that it was loaded, and his friend shot him in the face. The boy died that day. I'd like to make people aware about how dangerous leaving lethal weapons around can be.
In My Father's Steps
In your steps I wander through this earth below
Many times I just don’t know where this path will go
Often I am haunted by choices that you made
I now find myself making those same mistakes
I’m walking in your footsteps from day to day
Please help me break this cycle Oh Lord I pray
Help me to forgive all wrong that has been done
Keep me on the path you know where I belong
Daddy you are special in my life you see
There is a bond that you hold inside of me
So on this day I certainly hope and pray
That you will have a very
“Happy Father’s Day”
One day when you are big and strong
I will explain to you the confusion
the reasons behind the way it is
and why you are the one thing that has kept me going
On that warm day in June
when the angels took Liliana
it was you that helped me rebuild my life
you were the focus in my life
Two years old and my saviour
the person I have to thank for life
your smile stopped the tears
and your laughter raised me up
To my boy, Harisson
In your little two years of life
you have brought me through the dark
and are my light at the end of this dark tunnel
Well, it’s finally here
Seems so funny I should say finally
Cause to me, I can’t believe it’s time
Though I know for you it’s been so hard to wait
But finally the wait is over
And today is your first day of school
This morning you awoke before I
And I could see the excitement in your eyes
For once I didn’t have to prod
To get you dressed brush your teeth and hair
For once it was me moving much too slow
As I walked you down to the bus
Watched your smile as you stepped on
I couldn’t help but cry
And think how silly it must’ve looked
For tears to be running down a grown mans face
As I watched the bus roll away
I started thinking about your day
And all the new things you’d get to do
Your first lunch, your first recess
Your first venture without me into a brand new world
As the day went on it gave me time to think
My God, you’re growing up!!!
Soon you’ll be on your own
With a family, a house, and all too soon you’ll…
But then the bus brought you home
The grin on your face as you came running
The way we fell over when you jumped into my arms
The joy of your voice telling about your day
All reminded me that, hey, we have so much time
Until you grow up, so much to share along the way
And that today was only
Your first day
NOTE*** This is from my CD A Father’s Love Letters
To listen to the CD please visit
http://www.reverbnation.com/#/mikehamill
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