Best Apologised Poems
Maybe this can't be saved.
One more short year and I'll never see her again. I'll always be wondering about
her but it's better left that way. Never been able to face the truth. Even now.
We were all each other needed, some childish indestructable duo of sorts. All
gone.
Sometimes it's my fault. I've been a cliche since prom night when she came over
and apologised and suddenly she was perfection. After that I hardly spoke
around her in case I stuttered or worse, couldn't make her laugh. Was I in love? If
I was I still am. This intolerable inferiority complex, this petrified fear of not being
good enough feels all too familiar.
Don't think there was one moment when it all happened, but now I find myself
smiling arduously in black armour; all that she made me once again
undermined. I called her my mermaid; sunny skin, the beach in her hair and eyes
shining with all the colours and tempers of the ocean.
Now she's hacked away every detail of her. Barely recognisable, even to the one
who used to know her best.
There's a girl I still know, dancing through my memories, but already clinging to
herself, desperate to remain. She knows she can't stay forever.
We're not the people we were; this can never work.
Today I'm hiding behind a calm and carefree front; she can never know, nor
understand why. I'm blocking her out.
Out of sight, out of mind
No explanation. We were dying anyway.
But if she asks why I can't see her anymore
How can I even look her in the face?
If that's selfish then at last it's my turn.
I miss her even when we're locked in embrace. Affection is genuine. All else is
lost. She can't save us, can't put in the effort. I've tried but I'm weak. Another
excuse to take cover under.
I can't change her back. Why am I trying? I should just make the most of my
precious friend now.
A little more of her slips away every day.
One walked out
One walked in
I sat nervously in reception
Waiting for my torture to begin
Bouts of laughter came from the interview room
Knocking my confidence with each bout
I didn’t want to be there anymore
Tempted to just forget it and walk out
The door opened she came out smiling
My turn to face the panel of three
They were all very nice
Though it actually didn’t help me
The interview in full motion
Questions and scenarios galore
Confident in my responses
Of them l felt quite sure
However, there was a problem
One l had never experienced before
I could not stop saying long ‘ummms’
Every-time l opened my mouth which was impossible to ignore
I apologised for the ongoing ummms
Explained it was just nerves
Next thing that came out my mouth
Yes, you guessed it….’ummm’ before my words
I left the interview feeling completely humiliated
I cried whenever the interview came to mind
I was so disappointed and embarrassed of myself
It was obvious the position was not mine
The letter arrived... l wasn’t interested
As l knew already what it said
I simply glanced at it
My husband read it instead
‘You got the job Deb’, he told me
You can imagine my utter surprise
Handing me the letter
I honestly could not believe my eyes
After working the job for some time
I enquired why they had chosen me
My interview was not my finest hour
With me ummming constantly
She told me there was something about me
That just shone through
Even with all your ummming, she smiled
We decided this job was for you
The lesson l learnt and want to convey in this long winded story is
it doesn’t always have to be perfect or right
Sometimes in life ‘it just is ‘…. simply meant to be
Ummm…..and for you the universe just shines bright!
I read Darryl Ashton’s poem Called Pinocchio Rex and this brought back
memories of a childhood incident
When I grew up we had a smallholding – the house was called ‘Longacre’ as we
had over an acre of land. Over the years we had chickens, pigs named Pinky
and Porky and a goat called Susie… she had kids called Billy and Nanny – guess
I was no good at names back then… but I digress
Attached to the house was a small village shop but my parents also made a
small income from selling fresh eggs and in the summer home grown
strawberries – I would help pick washing baskets of them and bag them up to
sell.
Every week a little old man would arrive for his dozen eggs and if the shop was
shut he would ring the doorbell. He wore a pointed felt hat, had steely blue
eyes and the most enormous nose you have ever seen. Unbeknownst to him
my parents nicknamed him 'Pinocchio'.
When I was aged about 7 years old the doorbell rang – mum was busy baking
in the kitchen so I answered it. There in front of me stood this old man wanting
his eggs. Mum shouted from the kitchen
‘Who is it Janet?’
I replied ‘Oh its only Pinocchio’
At once mum appeared from the kitchen, her face was the colour of beetroot.
She apologised for the comment from her ‘cheeky daughter’ The man
purchased his eggs and walked away – never to return!
The moral of this true tale is that parents ALWAYS tell the truth and that
children have ears the size of an elephant and a mouth just as big … so if you
don’t want them to repeat something YOU have said keep it zipped!
Jan Allison
11th August 2014
I’m excited, I got a job
I now work for Bob Bob’s Gob Shop
They asked me to stand outside and sell
These white packets, of what I cannot tell
But I was shifting the goods a hundred an hour
I felt alive excited and empowered
Mothers and fathers were buying off me
And giving their kids, who named the stuff LSD
I didn’t hear it clearly at first,
Until I was arrested and that’s when I feared the worst
The police took me to their van
God only knows I tried to run and then… Man,
I got the tasered,
And did a twenty-five second bad imitation of Bob Marley crossed with Jo Fraser
They called me a dope peddler
An addict enforcing meddler
The cops tasered me again and beat me up
Then left me laying in a pile, yelping like a helpless pup
Then took me to a room with a table that had a pile of white powder,
And three inch black sticks they called hash, my mouth went sour.
They questioned me further demanding who was my supplier
As they kept me dancing at the end of the taser wire
I screamed Bob and Bob of the Gob Shop
They stopped and said this must be their under cover job
Just then the chief of police walked in
He looked at me with that we gotcha grin
He took a bit of the white powder and put it on the tip of his tongue
Then with s surprised look as if he got stung
The chief of police quickly picked me up dusted me off and apologised
He said “Don’t worry sir, I’ll punish these guys”
One policemen said “But sir his a drug dealler, selling LSD?”
“How could you be willing to set him free”
The Chief shouted “YES THIS IS LSD, NOW READ MY LIPS”
“LIQUORICE SHERBET DIPS”
Well as a consolation, I got a house and a car out of them,
Never went back to that job again.
It was a nightmare of a boat trip
I almost choked to death on an orange pip
They did not strain the juice well
And from a small pip, I gasped for air and started to swell
If it weren’t for a crewmember named William Patel
Well…
I stayed in bed for a spell
The captain apologised
Which was wise
He said “ the rest of the trip is free.”
So I was extravagant and splashed out on the person I called “Me.”
While sitting on deck, by the pool, sipping me tea
I was captivated by a well-formed female in a translucent bikini
She rolled her eyes flirtingly at me
So being the gentleman I am, I rolled them back you see
We were mesmerised with each other for a while
As we secretly exchanged a naughty smile
I placed hers in me left butt cheek pocket
As I felt me Viagra stick raising like a rocket
This was the beginning of a sensual relationship
Thanks to that bloody orange pip
Anyway, we went below deck
Where it was dark and gave each other a peck
Then we were at it like hammer and tongs
Moaning and groaning the seductive songs
Who needs Viagra, it was me
Only me, all me me me
Take some advise, find a place where you might get caught and you’ll see
It will magnify the enjoyment of your OOOh!, uhhh!, oohweee!
We stood in a narrow doorway
And began entertaining each other with a bit of, you know, foreplay
Then she turned her back to me and oooh! What can I say
Pressing against each other and pushing against the door arch was… heaven all the
way
Then, yep, we were caught, and guess what happen next
It was the captain and she was his wife who would suspect?
The big mother was rather vexed
I tried to tell him not to blow it out of context
But… the bugger wouldn’t stop strangling me with his mount Everest pecs
Give me the orange pip any day
But the situation I was in, hell no way
I remember every minute of the first day we met,
It was raining, coming in to the reception you got wet,
At a mutual friend’s wedding, you came with a date,
You sat next to me, this was our destiny and fate!
You flirted outrageously with me from the start,
Love at first sight, cupid’s arrow reaching each heart.
You spilled your red wine on my skimpy evening dress,
You apologised my new dress looked an absolute mess.
But I had to quiet my pulse rate, which I instantly felt,
Cupid was in control, causing my heart to melt.
I fell madly in love that magic filled fascinating night,
I loved you from the moment you came into my sight,
You asked me to dance, I looked at you quizzically,
Oh don’t worry about Mary, you answered instantly,
She wanted to attend a Greek wedding and break plates,
Just a friend, certainly not one of my dates.
You kissed me goodnight on my cheek as we both left,
In my diary that same night I accused you of theft,
You had stolen my heart, my soul, and my senses,
I had let down my guard, there were no more fences.
The following day I got a huge bunch of red roses,
I love you, said the card, I was on fire, no amount of hoses
Could put this girl down, I was in a complete daze,
Everything misty with love, I was walking through haze.
You had to do a three week army camp, no cell phones
Then, so I just had to wait in nether land zones.
What happened we don’t know, to this day ourselves blame,
We were in love, but silly, aren’t all youngsters the same,
We should have got married then, but it took many years
Married, divorced, each with a son, met up with heartfelt tears,
Got married 6 months later, with family and friends present,
A very ecstatic couple, this lady and gent!
Mind, spirit and soul
Truth be told, I gave you my all
Friends didn't have to know about us
This was for my heart and yours to know.
I loved.
Took my heart on a journey
With a car that had its tank empty
But I knew that we'll get to the garage surely
But I didn't know that's where we were going.
It seemed as though you have better plans
So I put mine on the side and listened to your will and cans
That had no maybes so I was willing to ride this baby... Though it was empty.
Love is blind and maybe stupid
No,Love is not blind and I am not blind I just find reality too victimising so I
hide my small heart behind the saying "Love is blind"
As for it being stupid? NO! But just maybe our relationship was stupid.
So I walked away
Till a flood of tears caught up with me on my way
And I started floating back to you
Till I realised you caused the floods then went back to sunnydays.
I can't swim so I'll sit here until I'm covered with mud
Perhaps I walked away too far
When I turned, the journey back to you was too long
Perhaps, I gave up on you too fast that when I turned our car needed much
more than gas
But maybe the journey had to end eventually...
But wait you have my property
So we must end this properly
So I'll swim to where you are
My heart; that is all I want.
Getting constipated by anger
Over-controlled by feelings
Swimming in your tears
Added salt to my fears!
I found you exactly where I left you
I apologised for my mistakes long enough for you to finish fixing the breaks
The car was crumbling like dry cooked cakes
You told me that you found a she to help you cause I really caused you pain
You told me "I should stop talking to you, it'll ease the pain"
I went crazy thinking; "Are you insane? Do you know how bad it was,
swimming through that salty lane?"
You carried on saying "I'm feeling much better..."
Heartbeat got slow
I started thinking "Oh no! Yolanda you a monster for causing the guy so much
pain!
Yolanda you are stupid for risking so much for no gain!
But no way! I got pride so I won't let you see my pain
So instead I said "Oh...wow...okay...cool"
Hearing my heart beat slow
And a rock of sadness on my throat
I said "I will help you get better"
I'm starting my own flood and I hope it takes you away
Don't swim back to me.
Grandma's Pets
My granda went away to sea
For many months on end
He'd travel on a fishing boat
With his brother and a friend
He used to write home regularly
And tell some quite tall tales
About being in a far-away place
When he was actually in Wales
Once they actually went to Africa
He wrote he was bringing Gran a pet
When he came home with a small cage
He'd brought her a marmoset
He opened up the cage
And up the curtains it did run
The curtains tore, granda laughed,
Grandma didn't think it fun
She said it had to go
So to the pet shop Granda went
He returned without the Monkey
And to ‘Coventry’ he was sent
Granda apologised and said
that he would compensate
Next day he bought Gran Tip,a cat
Bimbo, the budgie, feared its fate
He'd run up and down his ladder
And his cuttlefish he would gnaw
He took one look at Tip and thought
'I've not seen you before'
One day he pecked his bell so hard
The clapper fell out onto the floor
No matter how much he pecked it
That bell would ring no more
Bimbo, I’d known since a little girl
He lived to a good age
I still remember that fateful day
I found him lifeless in his cage
Tip lived till he was seven
Many kittens he would father
Mrs Thomas would bang on the door
And get in a right lather
“Your Tip's been paying visits
To my precious tabby Pip.
If you don't keep him in
I'll see to it he has ‘the snip'”
After Tip came Ruff the dog
A cairn terrier with his papers
We would laugh so many times
At his little doggie capers
There were two unbuttered teacakes
Sitting on a plate
Mum went to fetch the butter
She came back to an empty plate
Ruff was looking sheepish
Crumbs all around his chin
The cute expression on his furry face
I could swear it was a grin
We lost Ruff when he was eight
Poison in his canned dog food
If that had happened now
The manufacturer we'd have sued
Grandma put her foot down
And told Granda “No more pets”
She missed them all
Well most of them
But not the marmoset
Humanity’s first born child
Sits, wondering what to do
First Africa, then the world, the seven seas
And then space - the final frontier
He’s the first in line for world domination,
But first he’s got to put the competition
To extinction
A lion never apologised,
For being majestic
Nor will a blue whale ever,
For being gigantic,
But for being human however,
I am apologetic
The burden of knowing,
The gift of dreaming,
Of loving,
Tragic
On a quest for subsistence
An ape stumbled upon reason
And evolved logic
To escape the prehistoric
Ironic
We came down from the trees,
To go up skyscrapers
And formulated mathematics
To go supersonic
Into a space age so scientific
Magic
We the Philosophers,
Poetic
World War I needed a sequel,
Dramatic
To impact on our conscience,
Neurotic
Or did it?
Psychotic
So we his offsping have conquered,
Prolific
We the party animals,
Problematic
We the immortals,
Titanic
School bullies will always call you names,
but would they if they knew I was your blood?
Maybe the insults would have stopped.
There would have been a lot less scraps.
I would be a man without unhealed scars.
If only my mum had not caught your eye..
Why couldn't you have been like Charles Darwin.
Taught me the difference between right and wrong.
Built me a tree house or shown me how to shave,
but you were no torchbearer for my flame.
I wanted to be as tough as you,
but my strength was trapped with fear.
Your anger meant, I was too afraid to ask.
Silently, I questioned your hypocrisy.
If only, you had not walked away.
Instead of blaming each other,
I wonder if we would have formed a bond,
but stubbornness tasted like bitter gourd.
If we took time to explain - possibly apologised.
Maybe, you would not have died without talking.
A bee and a cardiologist
I have patched it up with my cardiologist
I sent her one of my books and when I saw her apologised
For my behaviour, and with my new eye
I could see her clearly, but didn`t say so,
I like to burrow my head in her wonderful hair.
Sleep with her in a bed of feather till my heart is cured
Told my wife I was in love with my doctor,
She called me an idiot and said fetch the car while she
Waited In the foyer as it was raining.
I wonder why I`m so angry at time it is like having a bee
Inside my head sting me to be unpleasant and shout
At people, no point seeing a psychologist when
An apiculturist might be cheaper to help me getting rid of
The bee; if so, no more honey on my tongue
I noticed her eyes all from the start,
And from that moment hoped we wouldnt ever part,
She can sing and manage and do so much stuff,
When i worked this all out i smiled and let out a sigh and a puff,
Her beauty was something completely out of this world,
She made me so nervous i thought i could have hurled,
She began to open up and show me her true self,
This chick was one of a kind and only top shelf,
We talked on the phone and it was all very brief,
But that misunderstanding gave me so much grief,
I was so sad i felt i had let her down,
All through that night my face was a frown,
So i messaged her again and apologised some more,
She wouldnt reply it shook me to my core,
We tried to meet up it was meant to be by the lake,
She stood me up, i hope her intentions are not fake,
Ill try again and hope we can meet
All over some mexican, something tasty to eat,
Maybe this wont work out but i have to try,
If it doesnt work out im still just a guy,
I hope one day that we can be true friends,
Maybe one day we can bump together our ends,
I will try to please her, and fullfill all of her most intimate needs
Ill go down on her until she cant take it, but only when she pleads
Ill bite her and spank her and yank on her hair,
But ill promise to do it all with such love and care
My imagination runs wild and my heart pounds so hard,
Please dont send me a message this is my last card
I can only think about you through the day and the night,
Im so scared im to full on and that you might take flight
You are so beautiful all from within
Your kindness your soul where do i begin,
You are pretty and beautiful and i love that about you
I think youre stuck in my head with a whole ton of glue
You have sparked something from the inside of me,
When i look at your photos my face lights up with glee
You make me feel like a kid with butterflies all through,
I hope its no game, that it is real for you
xoxox
With a basket woven brown, covered in linen, hiding goodies under cross stitched flowers
She with the Crimson Hoodie, and a smile like cookies and cream
Heading for the cottage so cute, and the walls pale white, the smoking chimney raising towers
The forest so dark, and the path so long, Granny waiting like a dream
The aforementioned teen, skipping through the glades, miles from Granny, four
Her laugh so pure, and her stride so sure, swallows soaring high above her head
She smelled the smoke of beechwood ash, as she slowed and tiptoed to Granny’s door
And tapped with a knock like butterfly kisses, and entered upon hearing what her Granny had said.
Her Hood slid back, and her raven hair gleamed, her Granny snuggled under the bedspread blue
The lass placed her basket on the table and eased over to Granny, her arms open wide
Her Gran silent and still, the girl leaned over, about to stroke her loved one true
And when the scruff of grey fur peeked out from the covers, the child leaped over to one side.
The deep gruff voice, and the teeth so long, and the breath so foul, and the growl
The now-wise lass, her arms and legs akimbo, her eyes steeled for combat and pain
She snicked out her blade from under the Hood, and sliced and diced the lupine creature’s jowl
The blood sprayed like summer showers, and then the wolf lay still, to move never again.
Soon she had found and untied Granny from under the bed, and made two cups of camomile tea
Then, nibbling poppy seed muffins and ginger biscuits sweet, as the stench began to flee
Hands washed clean, the sweet young soul apologised for her lateness, after she had deep buried the gory Cur
“My Sensei wanted to see me after Karate class, and he does SO make my small heart Stir. “
He said, "it's like I have a condom on my heart. I don't want it to be there but it's there"
He says he has been through **** in his life,in his relationships
He doesn't have any hope anymore in relationships
So I said to him, "we all go through **** in our lives, nobody has it perfect"
He answered, " mine is worse. Due to that God has made me view relationships as just temporary"
I said, "well I don't think God has done that, I think you yourself made a choice to view relationships as temporary"
He didn't like my answers
He was getting irritated
I felt that he thought I was taking lightly his past relationship experience
He says he has PTSD from it
The last words I said to him before I decided to be quiet were, "God will not give you something that you can't handle"
Every time he is telling about that past relationship experience, I always feel depressed
At one point in our last conversation about it, I just wanted to cut him off and change the topic
But I had to stop myself because I knew if I did that, he would be doing the same to me
See,I have issues too
He is the only person I have that I pour my heart too
He knows my depressing life and stories more than anyone else
He always listens, and sometimes even advices me on how to handle the issues
She came to me and said, "today in our youth class, we learnt about the good Samaritan"
She went ahead and told me the story, which I knew very well
Then she apologised to me and gave me a warm hug
I accepted her apology
And soon were playing with bouncy balls
Every time one of my friends sees me
And I have that smile on my face, she goes "now what? You seem like you have something to tell me"
She knows my life is a mess
If am not fighting with someone,
am either being attacked or attacking
My life is like a theatrical stage full of drama
I tell myself, AM A SAD LIFE
Cold hugs and warm hugs, sums up my relationships
That damn weekly times (circa 1900),
Afternoonified with Gigglemugs
sending me off my chump
Editors Half-rats, Not up to dick,
the meater.
Genderfied, I am
A woman of incredible script,
stylograph committed,
deemed a whooperup,
yet her prose is
umble-cum-stumble.
The longing expressed
through the lovers eye
poked-up the meater,
who Batty fanged my dyke
with his footle
His "Enthuzimuzzy"
was unwarranted
and the mutton shunters were called
Collie shangles erupted
yet concede he did
overcome with blue devils
He purchased my script
published it last page
like a Skilamalink
I cared and did not
for published I was
weekly times circa 1900
I bested the ragger
Rough translation - deceived
that damn weekly times editors
all snobbery and fake smiles
sent me crazy
The editors drunk, and unwell
he's a coward
I am a woman
a writer, a poet
committed to my craft
deemed inferior
yet my writings are
thoroughly understood
The topic in question
a female lovers romance
embarrassed the coward
who thoroughly thrashed my lover
with his nonsense
Ohh the insulting "enthusiasm"
was not necessary
the police I did call
heated arguments won the battle
and he apologised - albeit begrudgingly
His saddened state,
as he was forced
to take my manuscript
and publish it in the back
like some dirty secret.
Last page was bothersome
yet published I was
in the weekly times no doubt,
as I defeated that trouble making editor