Free-Range Limericks Redux
My free-range limericks are light
They will not keep you up at night
You won't find tawdry
Anything naughty
In my universe, they're just right!
5/13/2023
Poetry form: Free-Range Limerick
This is my second limerick that refers to my work in progress, Free-Range Limericks, on wattpad.com. To date, I have posted 25 limericks. They are free-range because they can roam freely outdoors, making them loads of laughs and full of fun; and they're also antibiotic and gluten-free. In my universe, they're just right!
Fig Leaf
“While the fig leaf traditionally covers naked shame
The fig leaf also makes a healing tea of restoration” Quote by poet.
Ducking beneath a quilt woven of the fig leaf
To sip upon a homemade brew of fig leaf tea
That soothes the inflammation
Of my humiliation to enhance
The concentrated healing of my intentions
For my unmasked vulnerability –
The exposed private parts of my simpering heart
To apply an antibiotic poultice
That eliminates toxic gaffs of conscience -
Slips of the lazy tongue,
Thoughtless raging fevers of impropriety –
To strengthen bones of humility
This poor man’s olive branch
That unclogs charity’s lifeblood
Increases flow with overflow
In warm generosity
Eliminating tactless bacteria
Reducing the temperature of shame
To recline again in sweet gardens
Of compatibility at the twilight.
4-1-22
Contest: This or That
Sponsor: Edward Ibeh
Title Chosen: Fig Leaf
The fig leaf is used to make tea with amazing antibiotic, anti-bacterial, anti-inflammatory, fever reducing, healing properties among many other positive properties.
Presenting to the emergency room, patient "BB,"
a dad who swallowed a snow globe carelessly.
Out of ALC, voices crying, "YOLO,"
PO, he took a big gulp of fantasy snow.
NAGI, his stomach churned immediately.
He could hear little elves dancing with a BEG.
Brought to the ER unconscious with HBP,
HAGMA, and tachypnea, unfortunately.
A CT scan revealed a kidney infection.
MDs dispensed an antibiotic injection.
Dialysis was administered, but he was still KO.
His kidney's were decorated in crystals of "snow."
Ten WKs later he could walk again (to the bar),
but will likely need dialysis 4EVR.
You are what you eat, (BB made a recovery)
but don't be a snowflake, the moral of the story.
(Watch the attached video for the full story.)
ALC- alcohol
YOLO- you only live once
PO- by mouth
NAGI- not a good idea
BEG- big evil grin
ER- emergency room
HBP- high blood pressure
HAGMA- high anion gap metabolic acidosis
CT- computerized tomography
MD- medical doctors
KO- knocked out
WK- week
4EVER- forever
3-21-2021
ACRONYMS IN COUPLETS Poetry Contest
Sponsor: L MILTON HANKINS
Alike an Elderberry tree and conspicuous
not a Honeysuckle sweet vacuous
we ripen with antiquity
an intoxicating aroma of iniquity
Folklore spirits rhyming in chant
Elder-mother wood nymph with plant
never growing obsolete as to everlasting
if faith be with red berries blasting
Blooming in all lands twas platinum
not of gray headed falsely handsome
instead draped with greenery youthful
seasoned in summer and early Fall truthful
Perhaps tis cure for the respiratory infected
such as the contagion affected
so prepare cooked wine non-alcoholic
and live a full life with this antibiotic
Idiotic Preliminary to Psychotic
What some may need is an antibiotic;
For things they did do that are idiotic;
Must take care,
Here and there;
We presume is first stage for psychotic.
Jim Horn
I love real eggs
From real chicken
Preferably free range
Vegetarian fed,
No antibiotic feed
No hormones added
Non-caged chickens,
allowed to roam about
As God intended
them to do
Not locked up
In chicken coop hell
But now
We have so many choices
We can have fake eggs
Without any cholesterol
Or yoke
Tastes like real chicken eggs
At least they claim
But who knows what’s real
Any more
Can you trust
The chicken is real?
Remission
The living soft redwoods rose up into the furthest skies
Rough dark brown and grey pines stood like warriors nearby
The roads are always wrapped in blue and gray mist
as large lumbering trucks and black Suvs swing by
A young deer from the forest forages for cones
old jazz filters over the bay and hills in a sorrowful sigh
We moved from the highway back into the tall mountain road
with its forests and blue birds singing in a curulean sky
Gone are the parking lots, the hospital glass windows
uniformed people pacing the buildings 7 feet high
Gone are rubbery gloves held in doctors' hands
nurses in masks using Purcell over and over again.
The smell of the Eucalyptus, the grasses, the pines
a place living without masks, needles and antibiotic lines
life again with rosemary, hummingbirds and thyme.
In Africa it is drug resistant
it is a disease infecting minds
minds of opportunists it targets
but I know only its nick- name
If you treat it with law-drugs
the will-drug you inject in veins
you try antibiotic treatment tabs
it hides and sleeps in blood cells
Opportunists desire to fall sick
but the people yell and kick dust
the more they search for the cure
the greater the frustration and pain
What can Africans do but look on,
as the epidemic resists medicines?
There once was a clumsy attorney
Who wanted to go on a journey
But lacking some grace
He fell on his face
And soon was stretched out on a gurney.
He’d wanted to taste the exotic
But work made his life so chaotic
That the thrills he did seek
Like conversing in Greek
Were replaced by an antibiotic.
When he healed he went back by degrees
For he missed his gargantuan fees
But the lesson he learned
Was when trips are concerned
He should stay home and speak legalese!
I think i may have hit rock bottom
I am dreaming about my problem
I guess to confess this reality
is something i will have to agree?
I will admit to this narcotic
No drug hope in antibiotic
Self-control is the key to be free,
but its hard when i stay so thirsty
Withdrawal hits me with aching headaches
Sometimes i end up with body shakes
Maybe some restraint and a sponsor
keeps me from becoming a monster
There is nothing for this male Roffey
like a strong rich cup of black coffee
A confined territory with created identity from a spanish monarch
since established, its badge with monkey eating eagles, large shopping malls;
tropical fruits and coconut, dense population;
Conus glorianus and the python Reticulatus gets heavier.
Most defined Christian territory in its region
and a global production hub for nursing care and services.
This locality nurtures and perfects the services of text messaging
writing on the wall of global discoveries through the mouse deer
and other animal species most particular in the giant clams.
It suffers from the blunt blade of human trafficking
but this hasn’t stopped the continuous glow of its pride.
Ranging from the biggest pair of shows ever, to the manila event of 2006;
the discovery of an important antibiotic, or its global archipelago pride.
Its power presence shown in Jelly fish lake
or the Noche Buena, celebrated as the longest Christmas season.
All these green lights visible to the planet
never let its flag turn upside down again.
wishing the night would never end
going places i have not been in quite a while
singing songs from a time forgotten because of careers and children
the nest is so quiet now
time stands still, but we know it will not be for long
we wonder where it went and how it seems like five minutes ago when we were potty training our first one
then we go silent for a bit....remembering when the parasite got inside her
emotions change while silent....thinking about the tubes and the machines
thinking about words like antibiotic and comatose
in unison and knowing, we wipe each others tears away
our last one just received her degree in sociology, and our first just completed her doctorate....imagine that
wow....our struggles, suffering, and sacrifices really paid off
our hearts suddenly burst with love, thanks, and joy
we both know that we would do it all over again
then we look at each other while stifling guffaws and say together.....NAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!
after what seemed to be endless laughter, we slowly drift off to sleep in each others arms
....and so goes the night....and in comes the more refreshing morning....
In the main, it's a pain in the brain.
Now just try not to buy I could die.
Patiently wait. Think, my fate will be great.
Now I'm face'n the preparation for the operation.
Pray'n for grace. Turn my face. Think 'happy place'.
'A little prick', then a stick. Oh, I'm sick.
Add Pepcid. not to dread. faith instead.
I'm in a huff; all this stuff. Is it enough?
Another add. antibiotic, he said Keep my head.
To the room. be over soon. What a boon.
'Slide on over'. Sure thing Rover. Where's the power?
Then I'm able, with a stable, on the table.
Modesty's rough in the buff. Think happy stuff.
In 'it' goes, head to toes. no more woes.
'Help me quick, I am sick'! Up I sit.
Out like a light. No more fight. All is right.
'Wake up dear', heard so clear, 'home is near'.
I want sleep! Don't make a peep you noisy creep.
'Wake up yes! Home is best. There you'll rest'.
Picking a bone, 'not so soon!', I sleepily moan.
Up and move'n, soon to be groov'n, life to be proven
Have no care. Had my share; fine's frog’s hair.
Only a glitch in m'gittalong hitch. That's a switch.
Home at last. Relax! This gas, it too shall pass.
My Unsung Hero
O' so tiny, a son born at twenty-four ounces
now laughter rings, as on my knee he bounces
Fought, such a fighter for sweet life was he
precious fruit from our great Love Tree!
I held him as breast milk he was gravity fed
still we remember all those tears we shed
Ninety days in the hospital he stayed to heal
now watch him sing, laugh and loudly squeal!
Seven long years he has been healing now
a miracle granted when we pray and bow
Relief as more weight is all he now needs
thank God for his life , joy that it seeds!
Our son, a brave fighter that fought to make it!
A miracle gifted , a blessing , happily we take it!
Robert J. Lindley, 07-29-2014
Carol Eastman's, "Unsung Hero Contest"
Note: Based upon the premature birth of our son Justin at just 24 ounces
and his 3 months in hospital , coming home at only three and a half pounds.
Two operations later and 4 years on an urinary reflux antibiotic he has now
made it to seven years old!!!!
God heals and blesses..
I pledge allegiance with heartless intent to this flag
of the united states of America
cause the politicians got the cat in the bag
and my wallets overflated numerica
this is a government of the people by the people for the corporation
I solemnly vow to work hard and hold my head down
let hypocrisy run free in our nation
and battle to wear the crown
who really wears the big boy pants
when their all made in china
why does the news agency rave and then rant
when there a dead dinosaur with angina
patriotism is robotic
when war spending is a common goal
we need some antibiotic
so that we all don't get the pole
this one I dedicate to you and I
the bright spark of life that barely cared to try
shooting itself upon the foot while telling you a lie
classified quite top secret so no one may cry
Sub Categories
Looking for the formal definition, structure, and history of this poetry form? Visit the Poetry Dictionary entry below. Then return to explore how PoetrySoup members bring the form to life through their own poems.