I make a perfect dry martini,
I read and write and speak Français,
All my suits, and shirts, and shoes are custom-made.
I own a Porsche and Maserati,
A house on Acapulco Bay
With scores of floors of marble tile that's all inlaid.
I have a staff to fetch and carry,
My every wish is their command,
If I drop things, I just leave them where they lay.
All I need do is snap my fingers,
Someone's always close at hand,
And they look after Señor Jim in every way.
I host the most elaborate soirées,
They're in society's upper niche,
On my birthday and, of course, on New Year's Eve,
Where the hoi polloi and high-born
Mingle with the nouveau riche,
And they're all the better for it when they leave.
This all may seem a bit pretentious,
And I don't mean to self-inflate,
For wealth and fame, of course, do not equate with happiness,
But in my dreams my alter ego
Will oftentimes exaggerate
And make seem real what, to be sure, is pure "b..s".
Categories:
acapulco, humor,
Form: Light Verse
Marijuana sommelier,
A marijuana or weed expert.
A Mary Jane professional.
Someone happy
to let the grass grow.
Not a junkie or druggie,
but a pro, a get high expert.
Weed connoisseur.
As a kid, If I had known
about this profession,
I would’ve been up there
with the best of them,
like Cheech and Chong.
But don’t get me wrong
I’m here to confess
I used to smoke
some of the best.
Sesa-million,
Acapulco gold
Hemp and haze.
As I give a dime bag praise,
those were the good old days.
I still miss having the munchies,
I would clean out the kitchen cabinets
and the refrigerator.
Eating everything that didn’t move.
And some things that did…
Categories:
acapulco, fantasy, freedom, humorous, imagery,
Form: Free verse
Why despair
Instead repair
Wherefore cry
Tomorrow's nigh
In hock or shock
Don't sweat just yet
It'll happen for you
There's luck all over
Near the Cliffs of Dover
Sits your four-leaf clover
If not in a Parisian Cafe
Or down Acapulco Way
Perchance by Monterey Bay
Face up on a California quay
Just think of me
When your ship comes in
Of how happy I'll be
That you lit up my grin
Categories:
acapulco, friend, friendship, happiness, success,
Form: Rhyme
Acapulco
I’d love to go down to the sea again,
The sea and the Holiday Inn,
Where some of the guests are awfully fat,
And others are awfully thin,
Where the average age is a hundred and four,
Give or take a year or three,
‘Cos another senior citizens’ tour
Has come to see the sea.
I’d love to go down to the sea again,
And lie on the golden sands,
And watch the dark-eyed gigolos,
As they roam around in bands,
I’d love to sit at the Patio Bar
And get ever so slightly pissed
“Have another tequila old boy ?”
“Well, one, if you insist.”
I’d love to go down to the sea again,
Where the con artiste is king
Where it only costs you an arm and a leg
For a genuine silver ring,
I’d love to go down to the sea again,
It’s the only place for me
Where it’s twice as nice
At twice the price,
Acapulco by the sea.
Categories:
acapulco, humorous, parody,
Form: Light Verse
Be born (or get born if you prefer)
If you are a woman – Give birth
Remember your name when in a foreign land
(If you don't have one make one up)
Breathe only air and at the appropriate time
Drink wine (but not with living fish or gators)
Take walks on the beach (remember feet and sandals)
Open a door with at least one hand
(Close it with another)
Buy security
Read Aristophanes
Borrow a car, (one with gas and a woman inside)
Borrow a woman (Catholic, Jewish or atheist will do)
*Teeth are important
Brush teeth - “yours” and “hers” (use different brushes)
Build a house (one with windows and oceans inside)
Scratch an itch - only using your spouse or lover (Never use your nose)
Put the trash out (starting with your spouse if they are dirty or ugly)
Go to war....with bacteria
Go to peace (found under flower petals and under the covers of night)
Diet and die (but not in any particular order)
Follow this list to Acapulco - another list will follow
Follow that list to its conclusion (never lose it)
*This is a didactic poem. It is also a "List" poem.
Categories:
acapulco, adventure, appreciation, crazy, education,
Form: Didactic
Anywhere if I’m with you
She asked me where I’d like to go
If money didn’t matter
I said I didn’t really know
My mind began to scatter
Toronto, Athens, maybe France
Aruba sounded fine
Casablanca, such romance
Though Italy has wine
London, Dublin, Amsterdam
Malta, New York City
Acapulco, Nottingham
All of them are pretty
But then I said my answer true
It’s anywhere if I’m with you
2/21/17
Written for the: Where I want to go poetry contest
Sponsored by: Nicola Byrne
Categories:
acapulco, adventure, travel,
Form: Sonnet
June is a month of needed vacation for me
Acapulco, Mexico is where I've come to be
Cantina's, tacos, no ice in my margaritas
Karaoke bars and lots of sweet senoritas
Far away from those frigid winters of snow
Relaxing on a beach, then back to work I go
Old Jack knows how to have a lil' bit of fun
See you later. I'm gonna soak up some sun
Tequila! Another margarita-this one frozen
November 27th 2015
Jack Frost Acrostic Contest
Sposor: Shadow Hamilton
Categories:
acapulco, silly,
Form: Acrostic
the cardiogram & the bank account
hanging on his shoulder
she’s waiting for the heart to go
she’s waiting for that final fall
so she can be off to Acapulco
her lips are full & natural
her body makes the covers of the magazines
the only things she’s missing
is his bank account ID---
she makes the physical as rough as possible
to exert him to the max
she goes for runs with him in the morning
in hopes of that heart attack &
the coke they do at night
won’t shut her body down,
but every time he survives the rush
she goes to bed with a silent frown
but one day its gonna happen &
then all her friends will agree
when you sleep with money long enough
it will pay you for your beauty.
Categories:
acapulco, life, heart, body, heart,
Form: Free verse
Change. I wonder if things change in death. When you are dead you are no longer in time.
And time always changes things. So if you are in Eternity do things change? Or is Eternity
timed? Cause how could there not be change. Even for the afterlife. I wonder if it's all
just one color and smell. Today Joel had a near death experience. Are not we always having
a near death experience? Is not death always upon us? Is life ever upon us? Yes, I think
so. The glass has to be half full. The grass has to be greener on the otra lado. Joel has
to swim back into shore. He can't get tired. He can't drown. He's young. He's 18. He's got
his whole life ahead of him. He's Superman. Just like me. Just like me, but our kriptonite
is reality. Our ego, our denial, our fear all with light shed upon it.
Categories:
acapulco, deathdeath, death, life,
Form: I do not know?